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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25020514">To Boldly Go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemotmo/pseuds/lemotmo'>lemotmo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Firefam in Space - AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Captain Bobby Nash, Chief Engineering Officer Evan 'Buck' Buckley, Chief Medical Officer Henrietta 'Hen' Wilson, Chief of Security Athena Grant-Nash, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) &amp; Christopher Diaz, Ensign Albert Han, F/F, F/M, Firefam in Space, First Officer Howie 'Chimney' Han, M/M, Mutual Pining, Scientist Karen Wilson, Ship counselor Maddie Buckley, Slow Burn, Teacher Josh Russo, USS SF-118, Very brief Eddie Diaz/Shannon Diaz, main pairing: Eddie/Buck, minor Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, minor Henrietta 'Hen' Wilson/Karen Wilson, minor Maddie Buckley/Howie 'Chimney' Han</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:00:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>106,198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25020514</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemotmo/pseuds/lemotmo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Space: the final frontier.<br/>These are the voyages of the starship FS-118.<br/>Its continuing mission: to help those in need.<br/>To come to the aid of all life forms from all civilisations.<br/>To boldly rescue where all hope has been lost!</p><p>Eddie and Christopher had been stranded on a desolate moon for years until the crew of starship SF-118 swooped in to save them. As Eddie and Chris adapted to life aboard and got to know Chief Buckley a little better, love happened and lives changed forever. Unfortunately, that didn't stop the outside universe from trying to interfere in newfound happiness.</p><p>AKA the Firefam in space AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Firefam in Space - AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>130</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is a fusion of two TV-shows. I set the 9-1-1 characters in the Star Trek world. But that is as far as it goes. There will be no cameos of Star Trek characters whatsoever. So it’s basically just the ‘Firefam in space’.</p><p>I am not a Trekkie, but I have seen almost all the Star Trek franchises (except Discovery) and I like them a lot. Especially Voyager, because Janeway rocks! But I’m mostly just a casual fan. This also means that I know some of the typical Star Trek vocabulary and species, but I’m not an expert. I’m just playing in this universe and adapting it to the characters’ needs. So please, if there are any Trekkies reading this? Don’t be too angry with me when I get something wrong.</p><p>If you are not familiar with the Star Trek universe, don't worry. This can be read without any knowledge of Star Trek. The ST-universe is merely the backdrop to the story.</p><p>This’ll mainly be about Buck, Eddie and Christopher, but I’m definitely adding all the other characters as well as I dabble in this universe. We’ll get to know all of them a little better. So for now I'm only tagging this as an Eddie/Buck relationship fic. That could change later on.</p><p>I’m not a native speaker, so if you see any mistakes, forgive me and move on please. I always edit my stories multiple times before I post, because I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. But I am conscious of the fact that there will probably always be some common 'non-native speaker' mistakes.</p><p>The prologue is written in a story-telling style from an all-knowing perspective. It almost reads as a fairytale. That’s the way I intended it. But from chapter one on it will be written from the third person point of view. We’ll get to know the characters better and we’ll learn about this universe through their eyes.</p><p>I have the outline for the fic ready and chapter one is almost done. I’m ready to start chapter two. I have quite some free time coming up, so I’ll try to post weekly, or even more frequently if the muse wants to cooperate. If there's ever a lull in updates, I'll let you know in time.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the outer reaches of the Beta quadrant there was a planet called Batàvia, the biggest planet in the solar system of Arongàlia, home to the extremely xenophobic and secretive society of the Ravàlian. There was not much known of this people as they avoided any unnecessary contact with outside civilisations.</p><p>The planet was in orbit around a bright orange sun, still hot enough to scorch all celestial bodies that came in close vicinity. Though its strength was only a fraction of the bright newborn star it once had been many billions of years ago.</p><p>Batàvia was a gas giant. A planet of such unique splendour that the natives had been worshipping it as a deity for millions of years. Songs of praise and glory had been chanted throughout the centuries. And still, to this day, many came from far away to admire its beauty— albeit from a safe distance, since the defensive perimeter of the planet was nearly impenetrable.</p><p>Non-Ravàlians weren't welcome. They made that very clear.</p><p>Its colours, a palette of reds mixed with hues of subtle blues and purple were such a wonder to behold that tears of awe were frequently shed by those who stared at it too long. It was even rumoured that its mere sight once made a Vulcan cry. But that's a story for another day.</p><p>Batàvia was huge. So huge that its greatness dwarfed all other planets in the solar system. Every 66 hours it completed a full cycle around the sun, day to night and back again. A never-ending loop.</p><p>---</p><p>In stark contrast to all that beauty there was Sitèria, a moon in orbit of the planet. One of hundreds. Nothing special about it. An inconspicuous -quite small- body of dull grey earth and rocks floating in space. Just far enough from the sun to harbour simple life, but too close to be thriving with more complex life. It had a landscape that was dry as bone and was of no importance to anyone, since it was completely devoid of any precious resources. A place utterly useless to miners or adventurers looking for fortune and fame.</p><p>Everywhere you looked there were vast desert planes, riddled with meandering rock formations, so ancient that the water that once flew there had long been evaporated, lost to the searing heat of the short but gruelling hot days. One of these deserts, a place called <em>Zòla</em> was located at the far south of the moon. It was a harsh environment made up of endless dunes of green sand, stretching out as far as the eye could see.</p><p>But somewhere, lost in the vastness there lied a dwelling. It couldn’t be seen with the naked eye since it was almost completely hidden under the surface— obscured by the sand that had long since covered all but the entrance. The sand on top kept the inhabitants somewhat safe from the heat during the short days, and the ice-cold howling winds during the -too long- nights.</p><p>In that shelter, sometimes hot and moist, other times cold and damp, lived a man and his son. Both of which had been on the moon for so long that the son, who had turned eight a while ago, had no recollection of ever living anywhere else. For him, Sitèria was home. For the father however, Sitèria was ongoing and unending misery.</p><p>For he <em>did</em> remember what was before.</p><p>The moon was a hell he had not been able to escape ever since their shuttlecraft crash-landed there, in an attempt to flee a fierce war cruiser that was intent on taking their lives. He cursed the day that he decided it was a good idea to fly through Ravàlian space because—</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Oh come on Shannon. It will cut down our travel time by at least two months. Do you want to be the one to tell my abuela that she’ll have to wait another couple of months to meet her great-grandchild?’</em>
</p><p>He had followed that statement with a blinding smile and a searing kiss to his beautiful wife’s lips. The woman had rolled her eyes in fake annoyance, still safely secure in his embrace. She was quick to give in after that. She trusted him to make the right decision.</p><p> </p><p>-- ultimately it was his idiocy that had lead them to their doom.</p><p>He should have known better. The Ravàlian’s reputation of hating foreigners preceded them. It was a well-known fact. So yes, his family had paid the price for his stupidity.</p><p>That was the burden he’d have to bear for the rest of his life.</p><p>---</p><p>Their baby boy, while gravely injured, survived the impact but was never quite the same after. His spine had been injured and the vertebrae never healed as they were supposed to. As a result, the boy had to learn to get by on a pair of makeshift crutches. There is nothing else the father could have done for him. Medical possibilities were limited when you were stranded on a barren rock in the middle of nowhere.</p><p>The man’s wife was even less fortunate as she had been instantly killed in the crash. He buried her next to their shelter in a grave only marked by a simple headstone. Something he created from a dislodged piece of the shuttlecraft's hull. It was a constant reminder of his loss.</p><p><em>His</em> loss—for the son didn’t remember ever having a mother at all and even though the man talked about his mother often, it wasn’t the same as actually feeling the loving embrace of one.</p><p>More crushing guilt to add to his -already heavy- burden.</p><p>---</p><p>And so the man and his son survived, stranded on the dried up moon, no one knowing they were there, still alive, hoping to be rescued. Early on, the man had managed to manufacture a small communication device from spare parts salvaged from the ship. He had daily broadcast distress calls on all the Starfleet frequencies he knew of, in hopes that a Federation ship would pick up on it. But in all the years they had spent on the moon, none of their messages ever reached anyone. Federation ships tended to avoid Ravàlian space if they could.</p><p>So, as they had slowly lost hope on ever being rescued, and as they had learnt to adapt to their new environment, the communications device got used less and less until one day it had remained in the darkness of the storage room, abandoned to the dust.</p><p>Hope of any kind of rescue had been lost. They were truly on their own now.</p><p>---</p><p>During the dark nights, when the boy was sound asleep, the man often got up and came out of hiding, hunting in silence, killing the creatures that dwelled on the surface. Small wriggling snakes and fast lizards were often the only prey he could find. If he was lucky he came across something bigger, like a rodent of some kind, and they could have a feast for dinner. He also brought a shovel so he could dig for water. It wasn’t easy to find, but he always managed to bring home a few meagre rations that would be just enough to get them through a day or three.</p><p>To protect himself from the harsh winds and freezing temperatures he wrapped himself up in rags before putting on a thick coat, which was an artifact left from the days when he had still been happy, living on a sun-kissed planet with actual seasons, surrounded by luscious green gardens as far as the horizon stretched. He didn't like to think back on those days. The longing within him too great to be comfortable with. It did no good to live in the past. This was his life now. A life he never wished for his son. A son who would have to adapt to living out the remainder of his life on a god-forsaken rock in the middle of nowhere</p><p>Even worse, one day the boy would have to go through his days all alone, for the man wouldn't live forever. A thought he didn’t like to dwell on, for the idea of leaving his boy all alone on the moon made his chest hurt with sorrow.</p><p>During the day they stayed safely inside, hidden from the unyielding heat of the sun. They spent time together. They got up, they ate, they talked, they played games, they napped, they fought, they made up— every day the same routine. They knew it well.</p><p>---</p><p>But then—one day, the routine changed abruptly, for the father didn’t come back from one of his nightly hunting trips. The son patiently waited for him, not too concerned at first, since this had happened a couple of times before. Sometimes the father lost track of time during the hunt and was surprised by the first slivers of sun on the horizon.</p><p>As the day progressed and the shadows grew longer, concern grew within the boy. His father had never left him all by himself for such a long period of time. When the night finally fell the boy was still alone. He didn’t dare close his eyes for even a single second, his heart heavy with fear for his father’s life.</p><p>As the second day dawned and his father still hadn’t returned, the panic set in. The boy yelled, cried and hit everything he could with his crutches, when he suddenly remembered his father’s words—</p><p>
  <em>‘Panic is never a good thing Christopher. When you panic, you stop thinking rationally and you lash out at things or people, without any results. Sometimes you have to take a couple of deep breaths to calm down and think logically about a situation in order to come to a good and smart solution. Panic doesn’t accomplish anything.’</em>
</p><p>He closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths to push down the panic, his mind wandering in different directions and then his eyes popped open again.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” he muttered, “dad’s old radio.”</p><p> </p><p>He hobbled to the storage room as fast as he could. This was it, his last ditch effort. If this didn't work—</p><p>He took out the makeshift communication device that had been gathering nothing but dust for over two years now, put it on the table and sent out a message to anyone who could possibly be listening. The message was broadcast on all the frequencies his father had programmed into the device. He sent his last hope into the ether, speaking with stuttered words and hitching breaths while his cheeks got wet from the tears he could no longer contain.</p><p>He waited— and waited— and waited for a reply, hour upon hour until night time arrived again. But no answer ever came. Exhausted by grief, despair and lack of food or sleep the boy finally succumbed and passed out on the table, next to the radio.</p><p>For over three hours he rested. Then suddenly a green light illuminated the darkened room, the device came to life, made a crackling sound and—</p><p> </p><p>“This is Captain Bobby Nash from the USS FS-118, we have picked up a distress call from your location. Are you in need? I repeat, this is Captain Bobby Nash, we are here to help you. What is your situation right now?</p><p>_</p><p>_</p><p>Hello?</p><p>_</p><p>Is anyone there?</p><p>_</p><p>Christopher!”</p><p> </p><p>And the boy startled awake from a dreamless sleep.</p><p>Hope had finally arrived.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Decision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For as long as Bobby had known him, the only cases that seemed to really get to Buck were the ones that involved children somehow. He sometimes wondered why that was. Buck’s past was largely unknown to him. As far as Bobby’s concerned Evan Buckley started existing when he walked onto his ship 6 years ago, shiny and bright-eyed, in awe of his surroundings, breaking hearts wherever he turned.</p><p>Buck was determined. Christopher Diaz was not going to spend one more miserable night on that moon. He would make sure of that, if it was the last thing he did.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Knowledge of Star Trek is not necessary to read, understand and enjoy this story. To anyone who might want to skip this story in fear that they won't be able to follow the story-line. Do not worry, Star Trek characters will not appear in this fic. The ST-universe is only the backdrop for the 9-1-1 characters to play in. So go ahead, give it a try and read the story. :)</p><p>I apologise for using wonky science in this fic. I am not a scientist, so I made it all up.</p><p>While the prologue was written in a story-telling style, the rest of the chapters will all be written from third person perspective.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hello?” a tinny sounding voice hesitated. “This is—I am Chris— Christopher Diaz. I am on the m-m-moon Sitèra, it’s next to Batàvia. My dad and I—we have been living here for a long time. He—he—he went out to hunt, but he didn’t come back and this isn’t normal for him. He always comes back.”</p><p> </p><p>The message stopped abruptly.</p><p>Bobby stood next to the window as he pensively peered outside. Batàvia was right there, in the far distance. Its colours brilliant in the darkness of space. Hard to imagine that somewhere out there was a tiny moon, invisible to the naked eye. And on that moon there was a small frightened boy, abandoned by his father. The mere thought of all the things that could happen to that child made his skin crawl.</p><p>“Captain,” Maddie interrupted, but before she could say anything else, Bobby raised his hand. “Hold on Counsellor,” he said, slowly turning around to look at her, “there’s more. Computer, play the second message.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hello? Can anyone hear me? Please! It’s my dad.” The boy started crying. “I don’t want him to die, so please… anyone, help me!”</p><p> </p><p>The sound of heaving sobs carried on for a couple of seconds before the message cut out.</p><p>Complete silence had descended in the meeting room. Various states of shock were reflected on the crew’s faces.</p><p>Bobby swallowed heavily, trying to keep down the bile as his stomach protested. He turned to his First Officer who looked a little paler than usual.</p><p>“What do you think Chimney?”</p><p>“To be honest? I don’t know Cap’,” Chimney dragged his right hand through his hair in frustration, making it stick up on one side. “I mean-- Is this even real? We are still deep into Ravàlian territory. For all we know it’s a trap.”</p><p>“Captain—” Buck spoke up, drawing Bobby’s attention. “With all due respect Sir, I understand that we need to be cautious, but—this is clearly the voice of a young kid. We can’t just dismiss this as a possible trap and move on. What if it’s real?” Buck looked very troubled with the mere idea of leaving a child out there to die. “If this boy— <em>Christopher</em> is really in trouble, we have to act Sir. It’s what we do. We save people.”</p><p>“I know Buck,” the captain said, rubbing his forehead. He could already feel a killer headache coming up. “Believe me, I know. No one is saying we should just ignore this and move on. But you saw the specs. Sitèria is basically the most desolate place in this solar system. What on Earth were they doing there? There’s literary nothing to find on that moon. No natural resources at all—hell, there’s hardly any water or food.”</p><p>“Bobby’s right Buck,” Athena piped up, sending the Head of Engineering a sombre look, “We should never let our guard down when it comes to the Ravàlian. You saw what they did to that Klingon warbird that flew too close to Batàvia and passed their defensive grid. It was blown to smithereens. Who knows? Maybe they spotted us and decided this was a good opportunity to destroy a Starfleet ship?”</p><p>Buck closed his eyes briefly and bit his lip in clear annoyance. He was obviously internally working through a few well-known calming techniques that had served him well during the last couple of years.</p><p>“Okay, look—I get it,” he finally said. “But just—in a one to million chance that this isn’t a trap and it’s really a kid out there. A kid in need? Are we willing to take that chance?” He pleaded passionately, making eye contact with everyone sat around the table.</p><p>Eventually Maddie nodded. “Buck is right Bobby. If that boy is really out there—"</p><p>Bobby looked from Maddie to Buck. It was during times like these, that it was even more obvious that they were siblings. Two peas in a pod. Always rash in their actions and too quick in making decisions lead by emotion, instead of using logic.</p><p>Buck was staring right back at him, stubborn as a mule, clearly unwilling to give in. The man had many faces, sometimes he was the clown, ready to make everyone laugh, other times he was the rock, solid and dependable, always ready to help out his friends. But for as long as Bobby had known him, the only cases that seemed to really get to Buck were the ones that involved children somehow. He sometimes wondered why that was. Buck’s past was largely unknown to him. As far as Bobby’s concerned Evan Buckley started existing when he walked onto his ship 6 years ago, shiny and bright-eyed, in awe of his surroundings, breaking hearts wherever he turned.</p><p>“I hate to admit it, but Buck is right,” Hen spoke up, shaking her head in clear disbelief that she was actually in agreement with something Buck had said. Her strong voice caught Bobby’s attention. “Can we really take the risk? I mean— that voice? He almost sounded like Denny. I don’t even want to imagine a child of Denny’s age all alone out there on that awful rock. Cap’ we need to go get him.”</p><p>Bobby took a deep breath, allowing himself a moment to think of his own children. As always, a pang of grief hit him hard in the chest. It was a feeling he was intimately familiar with. He then thought of May and Harry. They were biologically Athena’s, but he loved them as if they were his own.</p><p>He knew Buck and Hen were right, but it wasn’t as clear-cut for him as a Captain. He had a responsibility towards his crew. He couldn’t just run into a potential trap all based on two short messages.</p><p>Although maybe--</p><p>“Computer,” he said, following a hunch.</p><p>The computer chimed.</p><p>“Look up any information you have on a ‘Christopher Diaz’ that involves Batàvia or Sitèria. Look for events in the recent past. Say— the last ten years.”</p><p>The computer took a moment to process the question and then:</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>‘Christopher Diaz, human, born on Mara IV, </em>
  <em>stardate 48315.6. Son of Edmundo Diaz and Shannon Jones. The family disappeared on stardate 49452.3, while flying through Ravàlian space in their shuttlecraft, designated name: ‘Texas’. Their last contact was with Edmundo Diaz’ father Ramon Diaz two days before their disappearance. At the time it was presumed that the shuttlecraft they were travelling in was destroyed by a meteorite shower.’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“See!” Buck shouted, hands flailing wildly. “The kid really exists. And captain, they disappeared right here, in Ravàlian space. What are the odds of that? It has to be them. This is proof.”</p><p>“Or,” Athena said, playing devil’s advocate, “the boy is long dead and the Ravàlian are simply using his voice-signature to lure us into their territory, where they would have every right to attack and destroy us.”</p><p>Bobby’s headache intensified. He ignored Buck’s initial outburst and Athena’s logical response, only to turn to his First Officer. Chimney’s Bajoran ear jewellery briefly caught the light as the man stared back at him. “If this information is correct, they have been living on Sitèria for 7 years now. That’s a long time for anyone  to survive on a dead rock.” Bobby said, before repeating his previous question. “What do you think Chimney?”</p><p>Chimney sighed deeply as he looked down at the tabletop as if it held all the answers.</p><p>“I say— What are we waiting for Captain?” He finally replied, looking up at Bobby. “I know that it’s unlikely they survived that long on that moon without being detected by the Ravàlian. Logically it makes no sense. But— on the off chance that there really is a child in danger? We need to go in. When have we ever let anyone come between our duty to help? This is literary what we are here for. That is the oath we have sworn. Remember? <em>To come to the aid of every lifeform from any civilisation</em>. We have no choice— "</p><p>He shook his head as he determinedly added, “We need to go Sir. The sooner the better.”</p><p>In his heart Bobby knew that Chimney was absolutely right. But was it right for a Starfleet Captain to let his heart rule over his head?</p><p>He finally sat back down and his eyes travelled around the table, making brief eye-contact with his crew. They all looked tense to different degrees as they anxiously awaited his orders.</p><p>“Okay people,” he finally said, his final decision made, “it seems that we have a little boy to rescue. Are we all in agreement?”</p><p>Everyone nodded as one, even Athena who still looked a little sceptical. But she knew that ultimately her husband would never give up on a child.</p><p>Buck sent him an excited grin. “You won’t regret this Captain.”</p><p>“I already do Buck. I already do.” Bobby replied gravely, not sharing in the Chief’s optimism. “We are effectively talking about slipping through the Batàvian defences and potentially declaring war on an extremely private, but volatile people. All to -<em>maybe</em>- save one person, who might or might not be real.”</p><p>He looked at all of them before settling his gaze upon Buck, staring him dead in the eye, as his voice dropped into command-mode.</p><p>“I want to make something very clear here. We only go in for the boy. I know that in the message Christopher is talking about his father, but there won’t be any time to search the whole of Sitèria for that man. God only knows what happened to the guy in that harsh and unforgiving environment. The fact that they managed to stay alive for so long is a considerable feat. But if the father is missing, we have to presume that he isn’t alive anymore. We can’t risk staying any longer than necessary. We get the boy and we get out.”</p><p>He stood up agitatedly and walked over to the window, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. “Hell, I probably shouldn’t send anyone in in the first place. However,” he said, turning to face his people with a determined glint in his eye, “when have we ever said <em>no</em> to a challenge like this?”</p><p>His crew beamed back at him. “Never Sir,” Hen answered proudly.</p><p>“That’s right Hen. Now, a little boy needs our help. Let’s do this!”</p><p>He immediately turned to Maddie. “I’ll assign Karen to try and establish contact with the boy. Go to the Communications Lab to help her. As soon as she succeeds, I will be the one to make first contact. I want you to stand by to take over the conversation as soon as contact has been established and we have verified that the boy is real.”</p><p>The ship’s counsellor nodded. “Aye Captain. He will probably be in a state of panic due to the ongoing stress he’s under. I’ll try to calm him down so that he can give us any information we need,” she said, before getting up and leaving the room.</p><p>Bobby tapped his comm badge once, “Captain Nash to Lieutenant Wilson, I want you to find the exact frequency the boy’s message was sent from. See if you are able to establish a comm link. Let me know as soon as you’re ready.”</p><p>“Aye Sir.” Wilson replied. “I am on it.”</p><p>“Athena,” Bobby turned to her now, “keep an eye out for any enemy ships. We haven’t been spotted yet, but it’s only a matter of time before they pick up on our energy signature. Let me know if any of their cruisers come too close for comfort.”</p><p>“Yes Captain.” Athena replied, pursing her lips, which was a clear sign that she didn’t fully agree with his plan, but was trying to be respectful of the decision nonetheless. Bobby didn’t have a single doubt that she would be giving him an earful as soon as they were alone in their quarters. But for now she got up and made her way to the Bridge.</p><p>“Buck,” the Captain said, focusing all of his attention on the Chief, “find us a way through the defensive grid of that planet. Preferably without them detecting us. It will need to be a quick in-and-out operation of some sort.”</p><p>“Already on it, Captain,”  Buck said. “I think I might have found a loophole through the grid. Albert’s doing the calculations as we speak.”</p><p>“Go!” Bobby replied, quickly dismissing him. He watched as Buck rushed out the door.</p><p>“Hen, keep sickbay on standby. We don’t know the state the child will be in.”</p><p>The Doctor met his eyes. “Aye Captain. Don’t you worry. I’ll be ready.”</p><p>She turned and left the room.</p><p>It was just him and Chimney now.</p><p>“Are we making the right decision here Chim?” Bobby contemplated, thinking of all the ways this could potentially blow up in their face.</p><p>“Yes Captain. We are,” his First Officer answered with conviction. “This is what we do. We save people. No matter how hard it is or how difficult the circumstances. We are the 118 and we get the job done.”</p><p>A smile formed on Bobby’s lips as he glanced outside again. He felt the familiar excitement grow in his body, chasing away the lingering headache, leaving nothing but focus and determination.</p><p>Chim was right.</p><p>Saving people is what they did and they always did a damn fine job. Adrenaline coursed through his veins.</p><p>They were going on a rescue mission.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Eddie slowly opened his eyes. His mind felt foggy, not quite right. It was hard to concentrate on anything.</p><p>There was a harsh buzzing sound in his ears that wouldn’t stop. It felt like someone was drilling straight into his brain.</p><p>Everything was dark. Why?</p><p>Was it still night? Then why was it so warm? Where was he?</p><p>He moved his head sideways to take in his surroundings, but that only resulted in an excruciating headache. That was the moment his stomach decided to expel whatever was left from his last meal.</p><p>The dry-heaving went on for a while, before he felt strong enough to finally look up again. This time the pain in his skull was a little less profound, but the nausea was all-encompassing.</p><p>There was nothing there but complete darkness, which was really freaking him out. Even during the darkest nights there was always a little light coming from various sources in the sky.</p><p>This was a different kind of darkness.</p><p>He tried to get up, but he soon realised that his legs wouldn’t be able support his weight. So he resulted to crawling. He sluggishly moved further, that buzzing sound still bouncing around in his skull. Underneath his hands he felt sharp rocks which cut open the fragile skin of his palms, smearing blood everywhere.</p><p>Where was he? What had happened?</p><p>Then he suddenly remembered something--</p><p>“Oh God, Christopher.”</p><p>His voice sounded as if it hadn’t been used for weeks, all cracked and broken.</p><p>How long had he been here in this darkness?</p><p>How long had Christopher been alone?</p><p>He needed to get back to him. He needed—</p><p>Suddenly there was no more ground underneath his hands. He lost his balance and toppled over, banging his head against a wall.</p><p>Lights exploded in front of his eyes, bringing along terrible agony as if his brain was trying to escape his skull through his eye sockets.</p><p>He slumped down on the ground, covering his head with bloody hands, and promptly passed out.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Buck was a man on a mission.</p><p>He hurried through the corridors like a man possessed. Christopher Diaz’s pleading voice was on a constant loop of replay in his mind. He wanted to get to Main Engineering as soon as possible. That kid needed their help and he was sure as hell not going to fail him.</p><p>As he reached the turbolift he almost fell through the doors as they slid open.</p><p>“Deck 14.”</p><p>A moment later the doors opened on Deck 14. He ran out, took two lefts and a right to finally arrive at Main Engineering.</p><p>“Albert, what have you got?” He asked as soon as he entered.</p><p>Ensign Han looked up at him from where he was working on the main console. “Chief! I managed to isolate the frequencies upon which the grid operates, as you told me to do. It seems that there might be a loophole every 4 hours, 32 minutes and 5 seconds in which it should be possible to slip past their defences.”</p><p>Buck looked over Albert’s simulations. “It’s just like I thought. The frequencies need a couple of minutes to reset, which means that the sensors will be down for about—oh, maybe 30 seconds—at best? Let’s see, if I try to—” Buck rapidly punched in different buttons at the console to check his theory. “Yes! There it is! Albert, do you see this?” He pointed at the map on the screen.</p><p>The ensign came closer and studied the numbers on the map. “Yeah, I do. It looks good Chief. But that window is narrow Sir. I don’t think that’s 30 seconds. More like 25.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Buck said, “we’ll have to take a shuttle then. It’s small and agile enough to slip through in that short amount of time.”</p><p>He immediately tapped his comm badge. “Buck to Captain Nash. We believe we have found a way in Sir. If our calculations are correct the grid stops working for about 25 seconds, every 4 hours, 32 minutes and 5 seconds.”</p><p>“When is the next window Chief?” the Captain asked.</p><p>“Well— the last window just opened exactly half an hour ago, so we will have another chance in 4 hours, 2 minutes and 5 seconds.”</p><p>“Great. Start the clock then Buck, so we don’t miss it. And send the specs to the Bridge. I’ll look them over,” The Captain responded.</p><p>“Aye Sir, send them through, Albert,” Buck ordered while setting the alarm himself.</p><p>Albert did as instructed. “They’re all yours Captain.”</p><p>“Thanks ensign. Buck, keep on stand-by. As soon as we have established contact, we’ll go ahead with the mission.”</p><p>Buck slumped back against the bulkhead behind him, once again thinking of that kid— pleading for help.</p><p>“Captain,” he said, before Bobby tapped out, “permission to be part of the rescue team, Sir.”</p><p>“Buck—” The Captain started.</p><p>“Bobby, please. I need to do this. I need to be there. He’s just a little kid. I’m good with kids. You know that. Besides, getting past that grid is precision work. I just— I <em>need</em> to be there.”</p><p>A moment of radio silence passed. Buck could almost hear the Captain thinking of creative ways to say ‘no’. He geared himself up for a fight. He respected his Captain and his orders, but he refused to back down on this. A child was involved now and that was way more important.</p><p>“Very well Chief. Permission granted. As soon as we’ve established contact you’re heading out. But be careful. No need for dead heroes out there.”</p><p>“Aye Sir,” Buck said. The captain had surprised him. He breathed out as he allowed the tension to leave his body. “Thank you. I won’t let you down Captain. Buckley out.”</p><p>He was relieved. At least this way he would be able to get in on the action instead of having to wait around on the ship, not knowing if the rescue team had succeeded or not.</p><p>Mostly though, Buck was determined.</p><p>Christopher Diaz was not going to spend one more miserable night on that moon.</p><p>Buck would make sure of that, if it was the last thing he did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, kudos and comments are appreciated. Let me know what you think so far. It'll help me to write faster and keep up motivation. Also, I'm really interested in your thoughts about each chapter. What about the characters? Do they work in the Star Trek context?</p><p>This is technically a WIP, but I know exactly where I want to take this story. I have a complete outline ready. So, this wil definitely be finished. I won't leave you hanging, I promise.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Rescue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Buck couldn’t shake the thought of that boy out there, all alone. It brought back some memories he’d rather not be reminded of. His own experience of abandonment might not be the same thing Christopher Diaz was going through now, but the similarities were there. The difference was that his father hadn’t been lost, so much as he had basically just dumped Buck, while Christopher seemed really attached to his dad and was convinced that he would never leave him.</p><p>AKA the crew of the 118 goes out to do what they do best, try to rescue people in dire situations-- and succeed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here you are-- a nice looooong chapter. Enjoy!</p><p>Eddie's still mostly unconscious throughout this chapter, but he'll get a more important role from the next chapter on.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck was in the middle of calibrating the shuttle for the rescue mission, when his comm badge chimed.</p><p>“Captain Nash to Buck.”</p><p>He put down his tricorder and tapped the badge on his chest. “Go ahead Cap’.”</p><p>“Karen has pinned down the location of the message Buck,” the Captain said. “We’re ready to make our first attempt to contact the Diaz boy. Maddie is here to take over the conversation as soon as contact is made. I want you and Hen to listen in as well.”</p><p>“Got it Sir,” Buck replied, relieved that the boy had been found. The last hour and a half he had been walking on egg-shells. Karen was one of the best communication specialists out there and she worked fast, but still—</p><p>He couldn’t shake the thought of that boy out there, all alone. It brought back some memories he’d rather not be reminded of. His own experience of abandonment might not be the same thing Christopher Diaz was going through now, but the similarities were there. The difference was that <em>his</em> father hadn’t been lost, so much as he had basically just dumped Buck, while Christopher seemed really attached to his dad and was convinced that he would never leave him.</p><p>He remembers the feeling of inadequacy and worthlessness that had followed him around for years after that experience. It was a repeated life lesson as people just kept leaving him later on in life, as if Buck just wasn’t enough to stick around for. He had wondered so many times when he would find someone who would value him enough to stay. For a while there he slept around a lot, looking for this illusive person, until ‘the incident’ with the Captain that almost cost him his job. After that he had steered clear of any potential problematic partners.</p><p>The co-workers and friends he had found on the ship had tempered his need for validation somewhat, but in his heart he wanted someone that would choose him and would stick around for him. For a little while, he actually thought he had found that someone in Abby Clark. She had been at the helm of the ship when he had met her, an accomplished pilot. To her credit, she had stuck around longer than anyone, but eventually even she had left. He had been abandoned once again.</p><p>It was a terrible feeling that he didn’t wish upon his worst enemy and especially not on that innocent boy stranded on Sitèria. He once again focused on his calibrations. This shuttle would be ready to leave as soon as the Captain gave the order. He would make sure of that.</p><p>---</p><p>Bobby was on the Bridge, seated in the Captain’s chair, flanked by Chimney. They were waiting for Karen to make the first contact.</p><p>“All right, we’re ready Sir,” Karen’s voice sounded through the comm.</p><p>“Do it,” Bobby ordered.</p><p>“Line of communications has been established. You can talk now Sir.”</p><p>“This is Captain Bobby Nash from the USS FS-118, we have picked up a distress call from your location. Are you in need? I repeat, this is Captain Bobby Nash, we are here to help you. What is your situation right now?”</p><p>Bobby waited for a beat, but there was no answer.</p><p>“Lieutenant Wilson, update,” he ordered Karen through the comm.</p><p>“Signal is definitely going through Captain,” Karen replied.</p><p>Next to him Chimney took a deep breath. He looked worried. “Maybe we’re too late,” he whispered.</p><p>Bobby grew cold. The idea didn’t sit right with him. That poor boy—</p><p>No, unacceptable. He would try again—</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>Another beat of silence.</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>“Is anyone there?” He asked, hoping for some kind of answer. Out of the periphery of his eye, he could see Chimney tense up next to him.</p><p>Growing frustration clouded Bobby’s emotions as the seconds passed. “Christopher!” He called out.</p><p>Maddie startled before glancing over. She raised her eyebrows, silently berating him. Before he could even begin to feel guilty about his outburst, a timid voice answered.</p><p>“H-h-hello?”</p><p>“Christopher? Christopher Diaz?” Bobby asked, lowering the volume of his voice considerably so he wouldn’t scare the boy.</p><p>“Yes, that’s me,” Christopher answered. “Who are you? Will you help me find my dad?” He asked, cutting straight to the chase.</p><p>Bobby turned to Maddie for guidance. He wondered if she could pick up any of the boy’s emotions from so far away. Could the very small percentage of Betazoid blood that was flowing through her veins possibly give her some more insight in his state of mind? She looked up at him and nodded once, sensing that he needed her help to get through this conversation.</p><p>“My name is Captain Bobby Nash from the Starfleet ship USS SF-118. We are here to help you Christopher.”</p><p>“Are you a real captain?” He hesitantly asked.</p><p>“Yes, I am.” He couldn’t help but crack a smile. There were days he himself still couldn’t believe he was the captain of his own damn star ship. “Can you tell me what happened to your dad?” He gently inquired.</p><p>“No! That’s what I’ve been saying. He is just gone!” Christopher yelled, clearly upset.</p><p>“Bobby,” Chimney spoke up, silent enough that only the Captain would hear. “Maybe we should let Maddie take it from here.”</p><p>Bobby considered Chimney’s suggestion. His First Officer was right. The only one here to get some valid information out of the boy was definitely Maddie.</p><p>“I agree,” he answered, before nodding to Maddie. She looked intently back at both of them as if she already knew what he was going to tell her. Hell, maybe she did. After all— Betazoid genes.</p><p>“Go ahead Maddie. Work your magic.”</p><p>She nodded back at him and smiled briefly at Chimney. Then, as soon as she started speaking to Christopher, Bobby could see how all of her focus seemed to tune in on the conversation with the boy.</p><p>“Christopher? Is it okay if I talk to you for a while?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Who are you? Can you help my dad?” He asked.</p><p>“My name is Maddie. I am here to help you and your dad, but I can’t do that if you don’t calm down. So, I want you to take a deep breath, hold it in for 3 counts and then let it out again. Can you do that for me?”</p><p>The line went silent. Maddie’s calm voice cut through the silence.</p><p>“Christopher?”</p><p>“Yeah, okay--.” The boy gave in.</p><p>Bobby listened on as Christopher audibly started breathing in an out.</p><p>“Well done. Now let’s do this again. Can you tell me what happened?” Maddie asked.</p><p>“My dad. He-he-he—went out hunting, but he didn’t come back,” Christopher replied.</p><p>“When was this?”</p><p>“Last night.”</p><p>“So, you have been alone for the entire day and a good part of the night?” Maddie asked, worry bleeding through in her voice.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Are you okay? Did you eat anything? And what about water?”</p><p>“I have plenty of both. My dad always makes sure that I have some reserves when he goes out. He sometimes doesn’t eat dinner himself or drinks less so that I can have more. He doesn’t know that I know though. Don’t tell him. It’ll only make him sad.”</p><p>Maddie sighed, then looked at Bobby. They were both aware of the fact that Christopher was still one hundred percent convinced that his dad would return.</p><p>“Okay, I need to ask you a difficult question now. Do you think you can handle that? To help your dad?” Maddie asked.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess so.”</p><p>“Has your dad  ever been gone this long?”</p><p>“No, he has been later before, but not like this.”</p><p>“Is there any chance your dad might have left the moon?”</p><p>“NO! Why are you asking these questions?” Christopher shouted, panic in his voice. “Why aren’t you looking for him already? He didn’t abandon me. He wouldn’t.”</p><p>“Christopher, sometimes things happen outside of our control—” Maddie tried to placate him, but Christopher wouldn’t have it as he started sobbing again. “No! My dad loves me! He wouldn’t leave me.”</p><p>Bobby looked over at Chim. The sorrow he felt was reflected on Chimney’s face. If Eddie Diaz had been missing for so long in those dire circumstances, he would probably have a very good reason to not return. And the most likely of reasons was that something bad had happened to him and he hadn’t made it out alive. Poor kid. His father was all he had ever known and now the rock his entire foundation was built on was gone.</p><p>“Okay, okay,” Maddie said, trying to keep the boy safe from spiralling into a complete meltdown. “I get it. Your dad wouldn’t leave you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”</p><p>They could still hear Christopher’s panicked sobs in the background. The boy wasn’t responding.</p><p>“Christopher.” Bobby spoke up with authority. Maybe all that he needed right now was someone to take charge of the situation.</p><p>“Y-y-yes, Captain?” The boy replied. He was still crying, but at least he was communicating again.</p><p>“We have managed to pin down your location on Sitèria. I am sending a team down to the surface to come and get you,” Bobby informed him, simple and effective.</p><p>“But—what about my dad?” Christopher tentatively asked through his tears.</p><p>“We’ll deal with that once we’re there,” Bobby deflected, knowing that any kind of search would be futile anyway. But this was no reason to leave the boy without hope. Hope was all he had left now.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll be here.” Christopher answered, as if he could actually step out and leave.</p><p>“Okay, Maddie is going to keep talking to you for a while. Is that okay for you?”</p><p>“Yeah, she seems nice.”</p><p>“That she is Chris,” Bobby said. Maddie turned and smiled at him. “She is a counsellor on the ship. In fact she is the finest counsellor I have ever known.”</p><p>He nodded to her and she smoothly took over the conversation from there. Bobby then turned to his First Officer. “Chim, you’ll take lead on this mission. Tell Buck to calculate the best time to leave in order to make it through that next window. He’ll get you through safely. I think that maybe you should take Hen with you as well. I know that wasn’t the plan, but I’m worried about the boy’s health.”</p><p>“Yes Sir.” Chimney respectfully nodded at the Captain and left the Bridge.</p><p>---</p><p>Chimney made his way down to the shuttlebay to meet up with Buck and Hen. It had been half an hour since the Captain had relieved him from the Bridge. In the meantime he had informed Hen of their change in plans. She hadn’t put up much resistance, which made him suspect that she was secretly pleased to be going. Having a son around the same age as Christopher, it must have hit her extra hard to learn of this boy’s plight.</p><p>He had quickly changed his outfit and gathered a couple of things he might need on this rescue and now they were ready to leave. The next window was about to open in 45 minutes, which would give them plenty of time to get there.</p><p>As he entered the shuttlebay he could see that Hen had already made her way down there. Buck was out of sight, but Chimney was sure that he was around somewhere. The Chief was notorious for his perfectionism. There were already so many things that could go wrong during these missions, Buck didn’t want to be the one that had missed a lose valve or a faulty manifold-connection, causing a shuttle to go down. It was that quality that had attracted the Captain to Buck in the first place.</p><p>When the 118 had lost Chief Jenkins to another starship 4 years ago, a stream of new ‘Chiefs’ had come and gone. But none of them had stuck around long enough to get to know better. Mostly because Bobby was tough as nails when it came to vetting new people. He would throw challenges at them every step of the way and most of them had quit because they couldn’t cope with the onslaught of work and stress. The only constant during those days had been their transporter engineer Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley. Whenever one of the Chiefs up and left, Buck had stepped in and had done a stellar job.</p><p>Buck had come aboard the 118 about 6 years ago with shiny credentials. But within three month he had already clashed with the Captain twice. While Buck was a gifted engineer, he also was an incorrigible flirt. He would randomly hook up with anyone who took a shine to him, whether it was aboard the ship or during a rescue mission. And that’s exactly where it had gone wrong the first time. Buck had only been aboard for a month when he was caught making out with the wife of the Bajoran liaison they had just rescued. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if he hadn’t been caught by the husband himself. The man had threatened to make a formal complaint to Starfleet if Buck wouldn’t be punished, so Bobby had had no other choice than to officially reprimand Buck for the incident.</p><p>It didn’t take Buck very long to forget about his precarious situation aboard the 118 when, a couple of months later, he was once again found in a compromising situation with an admiral’s son who had gone missing right before his wedding. Buck had ‘borrowed’ a shuttle without permission to take the man out in space for a romantic tryst. It had been one bridge too far and Bobby had relieved him off duty.</p><p>That had been the moment that made Buck realise that he had gone too far. He had begged Bobby to take him back, to no avail. Then he had come knocking at Chimney’s door, but Chim wasn’t a fool. He knew that once the Captain had decided something, there was no turning back. In the end it had been Athena’s word that had persuaded the Captain to reinstate Buck to his post of transport engineer.</p><p>Chim never really knew what went down that made Athena vouch for Buck, but he knew that it must have been something big. The Chief of Security was not exactly known for her warm and cuddly nature. Whatever it was, it changed Buck as a person. He became less flighty and more solid, reliable and -most of all- dependable. He started building deep friendships with other crew-members and even had a short relationship with one of their pilots, Abby. That had fizzled out however when Abby left the ship to go back to Earth to care for her sick mother. Buck had waited a long time for Abby to come back to him, as she had promised. She never did. Which was a pretty shitty move to pull in Chimney’s eyes, but hey—who was he to judge. It had taken him an embarrassing three years to pull his head out of his own ass to finally work up the courage to ask Maddie out. So yeah—</p><p>Long story short, two years later, after Buck had saved them once more during a ‘Chief-less’ emergency, the Captain had had enough and he had officially appointed Buck as Chief Engineering Officer. He had later, after one Klingon ale too many at a space station’s bar, confided in Chimney that—</p><p>“Appointing Buck as the new Chief is the best decision I’ve ever made Chim.”</p><p>--before promptly passing out. Safe to say that Athena hadn’t been amused when Chimney contacted her to pick up her husband.</p><p>Chim couldn’t help but smile at the memory.</p><p>“What’s got you smiling there Sir?” Buck interrupted his musings.</p><p>He looked up. Buck had just appeared from underneath the shuttle, a smear of oil across his cheek, drawing more attention to the red birthmark above his eye.</p><p>“Nothing that concerns you Buckaroo,” Chim said, grinning even wider, adding to Buck’s confusion.</p><p>“Okay, boys—are we ready for this?” Hen asked. She seemed worried.</p><p>Chimney felt the smile melt from his face as he looked at her. “We have to be Hen. There is a little boy out there who is not going to make it on his own for much longer.”</p><p>From the periphery of his eye he could see the Chief ducking his head, swallowing heavily. “Yeah,” Buck said, “that’s not going to happen. Not on my watch.”</p><p>Chimney silently studied him for a moment. “No, you’re right. That’s not going to happen—Not on <em>our</em> watch.” Making sure that Buck realised that they were all in this to bring Christopher Diaz back to the 118, in one piece and very much alive.</p><p>Buck nodded at him appreciatively, before he turned and entered the shuttle. “Then we’d better leave,” he said, “it’s about 35 minutes before the next window opens.”</p><p>Hen followed him in, looking back at Chim, her eyes were still clouded with worry, but now there was also a sheen of stubborn determination. Hen had never been one to back down. Chimney learnt that the hard way, losing from her time and time again during their weekly poker games.</p><p>He breathed in deeply. “Yeah,” he said to the empty shuttlebay, “let’s go.”</p><p>He walked up to the shuttle and lightly patted the outer hull twice for luck, before boarding.</p><p>Two minutes later the shuttle lifted up, hovered in place for a couple of seconds until the shuttlebay doors had fully opened, and then took off into space.</p><p>___</p><p>Chris was dreaming. In his dream he saw his dad. He was very far away and yelling at Chris to come join him, but the boy just wasn’t fast enough. Every time he got closer and reached out to almost touch his dad, he would suddenly be far away again. Tears of frustration escaped his eyes. He cried out—</p><p>“DAAAAD! DADDYYYY!”</p><p>-- but it didn’t work. His dad just seemed to get further and further away from him until he was completely out of sight. A heavy thumping sound enveloped him.</p><p>“NOOOOOOOO—”</p><p>Christopher woke up screaming. He was breathing rapidly and he quickly realised that he was drenched in sweat.</p><p>Then he heard it. A noise outside. Something had woken him, but he wasn’t quite sure what it was. After he had spoken with Captain Bobby, Maddie had talked to him for quite some time. She seemed very nice. She had told him that a rescue team would land on the moon, not far from their dwelling. When he had got too tired to speak, Maddie had told him to go take a nap. He must have slept for at least half an hour and if that was the case, then maybe the noises he heard outside were—</p><p>“Christopher! Christopher Diaz!” Someone called out. Christopher quickly grabbed the crutches next to his bed and walked over to the door. “Who is it?”</p><p>“It’s us. The rescue team from the 118?”</p><p>Christopher took a deep breath and unlocked the makeshift door. The glaring afternoon sun made him blink for a few seconds as the heat of the day swooped in. Three people were standing in front of him, their faces completely obscured by some kind of a turban and protective goggles, all designed to keep out the sand. He quickly stepped aside and gestured them in.</p><p>“Come in before it gets too warm inside.”</p><p>As soon as they were safely inside, the three revealed their faces. The man closest to him had dark, almost black hair. He introduced himself.</p><p>“Hi Christopher, I’m Chimney Han, First Officer of the SF-118.” He turned around and gestured to the only woman in their company, “This is Hen Wilson, our resident Medical Doctor and then we have Buck Buckley,” he now pointed at the tall man next to them, “He is the Chief of Engineering.”</p><p>Christopher was full-out staring now. He knew it wasn’t polite. If his dad would be here he’d tell him off for it. But aside from his father he had never actually seen other people before. He kept looking at Chimney’s beautiful and intricate earring. And Hen’s skin colour was so different from his. He had never seen anything quite like it. It was almost as if she was glowing. She looked amazing.</p><p>And then there was Buck who was so incredibly tall and broad-chested he should have looked intimidating, but instead he had kind blue eyes and a sweet smile directed at him. On top of his head there were short blond curls. So different from his father’s dark eyes and his even darker hair.</p><p>He finally found words. “Hi.”</p><p>Hen spoke up. “Hello Christopher. I couldn’t help but notice you’re walking on crutches. Did you get hurt? I thought you had told Maddie that you weren’t injured.”</p><p>Christopher looked down at his crutches. He was so used to them now that he hadn’t thought of telling them about them. They were a part of him.</p><p>“Oh, these?” He replied, “No, I’m not hurt. At least, not recently. My dad tells me that when our ship crashed here, something happened to my spine. He tried to fix it, since he had some medical training when he was young, but it just didn’t heal like it should have. So, I ended up with these,” he said, lifting his crutches. “It’s okay though, I’m used to them now. It could have been worse. I mean, my mom didn’t make it at all, so yeah--”</p><p>He saw how Chimney glanced over to Hen and Buck and they shared a look. He wished he understood what all that was about, but his mind was too caught up with his missing dad.</p><p>“Are you going to look for my dad?” He asked them bluntly.</p><p>Chimney’s eyes shot right back to him. “Well,” he started, but before he could finish his sentence, Buck interrupted him. “Sir, a quick word?”</p><p>---</p><p>Buck looked at him intensely as if he was trying to communicate something with his eyes. Chimney had an inkling at what exactly Buck was hinting at, because he knew how the man’s mind worked. Buck was a sucker for kids, he could never resist their puppy-dog eyes and pouty lips. Something most kids aboard the 118 knew very well and often took advantage of.</p><p>He briefly looked back to Christopher, who was looking at him with suspicion in his eyes. As if he knew that there was never a plan to look for his father in the first place. It only made Chimney feel more guilty.</p><p>“Hold on a minute,” he said to the boy before grabbing Buck’s arm and pulling him into another room of the house.</p><p>“I know what you’re going to say Buck and my answer is no,” Chimney said, not wasting any time.</p><p>“With all do respect Sir, but that’s bullshit and you know it,” Buck replied, an angry glint in his eye. “That boy has already lost his mother and now, the only person he has ever known to take care of him, has gone missing. We need to look for him—Sir.”</p><p>Chimney felt a headache building behind his eyes. “Buck, I get what you’re trying to say, but the chances that the man is still alive are astronomically small.”</p><p>Buck sighed as his previous anger fizzled out. “I know that Chim. And <em>you</em> know that. But there is a little boy in the other room who needs to believe that his dad is still out there, fighting to get back to him. The least we can do is do him the honour of looking for him. Only in the vicinity of this house. At least then he’ll remember us as the people who tried to save his father instead of the people who abandoned his father on a deserted moon, left him to die. Let me go out there and look for him. If anything, if I find the body, at least the kid’ll have some closure. I’ll be careful, I promise.”</p><p>Chimney knew he should say no. It wasn’t safe out there and they could even lose Buck in the process, but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if they didn’t give it a try.</p><p>“All right,” he finally gave in. “I’ll clear it with the Captain. Gear up and head out. Don’t venture too far from the ship, because we need to leave on time, to catch that window.” He looked down at his tricorder to find out the time. “You get 2 hours. Not a minute more.”</p><p>Buck beamed at him. “Okay. Thank you Chim. You won’t regret it.”</p><p>Chimney already regretted it.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was ready. He was just about to step outside into the harsh environment and stifling heat of the afternoon sun when Christopher stopped him.</p><p>“Buck?”</p><p>He looked down at the boy, who was leaning heavily on his right crutch as his left hand grabbed onto Buck’s leg. His makeshift glasses were askew his nose and he looked exhausted. It was a wonder the kid was still able to function under these circumstances. His mind wandered briefly to the boy’s father. He must have been so proud of his strong son. He then focused his attention back on Christopher as he crouched down to look him in the eye. Christopher’s hand migrated to his cheek.</p><p>“You’re gonna be okay kid.” He said.</p><p>Buck was speechless. Did the kid pick up on his anxiety and nerves?</p><p>“My dad always says that to me whenever I feel down or when I’ve had a bad dream. And it works. It always makes me feel better.”</p><p>Buck smiled sadly at him, before putting his hand on the boy’s cheek. “Thank you Christopher. That does make me feel better. It’ll give me extra strength to look for your dad.”</p><p>“You will find him Buck. I just know it.” The boy said with such conviction in his voice that Buck almost believed him.</p><p>“Well—I will certainly try my best Christopher, but I can’t make any promises. You know that.” Buck told him.</p><p>“I know, but I have to be strong and believe that you will find him. If I believe it hard enough, it might just come true.” Christopher added, tears in his eyes.</p><p>Buck’s heart bled for the boy. He so desperately wanted to find his father for him it made him ache inside.</p><p>“You just keep believing, buddy. I’ll take anything to help me out there.” Buck said, slowly standing up again.</p><p>“Buck.” Hen walked up to him before pulling him into a brief hug. “Be careful out there, okay?</p><p>“Don’t worry Hen,” he said with bravado, “I’m always careful.”</p><p>Hen gave him the <em>Look</em>. “Hmmm—of course, how could I forget.”</p><p>Buck just grinned. “Where is Chim?”</p><p>“He’s back on the ship, informing the Captain of your little fieldtrip,” Hen said.</p><p>Buck pulled a sour face. “Auwch—I don’t envy him having that conversation.”</p><p>“No, neither do I. But then again, we aren’t First Officers, are we now?”</p><p>“That we aren’t,” he answered, chuckling.</p><p>“Okay,” Buck pulled up his protective turban and adjusted his goggles so they would sit right, “wish me luck.” He looked from Hen to Christopher one last time and stepped outside.</p><p>---</p><p>“You did what?” Bobby didn’t look happy at all. In fact, his face was rapidly changing from angry to furious.</p><p>“I’m sorry Captain. But I had to make the call and I gave him permission,” Chim said, “and before you order me to call the whole thing off, I feel that it is my duty to inform you that Buck has already left. There is so much radio interference on this moon that it’s impossible to contact him when he’s out there. He’s on his own.”</p><p>“Chimney, I value your input and you have never failed me. But what were you thinking sending Buck out in that hell-hole? By himself!” Bobby yelled. By now Athena had joined the Captain in his Ready Room. She slid her arm up Bobby’s back to calm him down.</p><p>“Captain, you know I would never do anything against your orders, but this kid—you should have seen him Bobby. He practically begged us to search for his father. You know Buck. He can’t say no to a kid. And to be honest, in this case? Neither could I.” Chimney pleaded his case, willing the Captain to see his side in this. “It just wouldn’t feel right to leave this rock without having tried to find his father. It just feels wrong Sir.”</p><p>Bobby seemed to have calmed down considerably by the time Chimney finished speaking.</p><p>“The next window opens in less than 3 hours. How long did you give him?”</p><p>“2 hours Sir. He should be back by then.” Chimney replied.</p><p>On the screen Bobby rubbed his forehead, while Athena stared right back at Chimney with a look that promised terrible things if anything would happen to Buck.</p><p>“You better bring him back here in one piece Chimney,” she added very calmly.</p><p>Chim swallowed audibly. “I will. I promise,” he said, before signing off.</p><p>“You’ll better be all right Buck,” he said to the empty ship, “or I’m a dead man. Athena will make sure of that.”</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was melting. He had been walking through the sand for over 40 minutes now and so far it had been a bust. Nothing but green sand every which way he looked. He was making a wide circle around the Diaz’s house. Christopher had told him that his father never strayed too far from home, which was a smart thing to do. If anything would happen to him, he wouldn’t have to go too far to get home. But so far, the only thing alive Buck had encountered was a big slimy blue snake. A meeting he didn’t wish to repeat.</p><p>He regularly checked his tricorder to look for any crevasses or caves where someone could potentially be hiding, but so far it was a bust. It seemed more and more likely that this moon would not only be Shannon’s grave, but also Eddie’s. He took out the tricorder to do another perimeter sweep.</p><p>“Nothing—nothing—a fat load of nothing—oh, hey look! More nothing and—hold on,” Buck stopped walking. About 40 metres in front of him the scanner picked up some sort of an underground cave. It seemed to be completely invisible from the surface, but there should be an entry somewhere in the vicinity. Cautiously Buck started exploring the ground. If the sand had covered the entrance it could be dangerous. One misstep and boom—you find yourself on the bottom of some underground tunnel.</p><p>“And—bingo!” A couple of metres to the south there appeared to be an unnatural indentation in the sand. Buck took out the shovel he’d brought and carefully started patting the ground. It gave way immediately. The sand seemed to cling together and had lightly covered the entrance of the tunnel, just enough for it not to be noticed by the naked eye. It was a literal death trap. Buck only hoped that this fate hadn’t befallen Eddie Diaz.</p><p>He decided that the best way to approach was to lie down on the ground to distribute his weight. That way the ground underneath his feet wouldn’t give out under the pressure. He took out his flashlight to shine inside the tunnel. It went straight down for about 5 metres and seemed to lead to a slightly bigger cave. He swivelled his flashlight around to see if he was able to detect anything down there, but it was hard to see anything with the flaring sun above him.</p><p>He was about to give up and move on when—</p><p>“What the--” He thought he had seen a flash of something familiar, but he wasn’t sure. So he shone his light in the direction he’d seen it and then— “Yes!”</p><p>A shoe. He could clearly see the outline of a heavy boot. Not just that. A boot with a leg attached to it. Someone was down there and since this wasn’t exactly a busy moon, it could only be one person: Eddie Diaz.</p><p>“HELLO!” Buck yelled into the hole, to see if he could coax any reaction out of the unmoving man. The leg remained still. “EDDIE? EDDIE DIAZ! CAN YOU HEAR ME?”</p><p>He waited another beat. Again nothing. Not even a twitch.</p><p>This was worrisome. He picked up his backpack which he had thrown aside before. He came well-prepared. It wasn’t a fluke that the 118 had the reputation of the best rescue ship in the whole of Starfleet. In the past Buck often had to rappel down a mountain slope to save someone. This wasn’t any different. He quickly installed the makeshift winch so he could descend into the tunnel. He fitted the harness around his body, attached his flashlight to it and slowly started rappelling down the tunnel.</p><p>Once he reached solid ground, he took a look around to take in his surroundings. The underground cavern was huge, but it wasn’t very high. In fact the only part where Buck could comfortably keep standing upright was underneath the tunnel. As soon as he stepped into the cave he had to duck down. He quickly crawled over to the body, cutting himself on the rocks at the bottom of the cave in his haste.</p><p>Now that he was close enough to see everything he could clearly see the outline of a broad back. Another check in the column of this probably being Eddie Diaz. He hesitantly reached out and touched the man’s shoulder, afraid to find the body completely unmoving. But what he found surprised him. As his hand laid across his shoulder blade he could clearly feel it going up and down. The man was breathing.</p><p>Buck felt elated. Maybe he could bring good news to Christopher after all. He gently grabbed the man’s left arm and carefully flipped him over onto his back. He was very aware of this being a big ‘<em>no no</em>’ in the medical world. You don’t move a fallen man. He could distinctly hear Hen’s voice in his head, chastising him.</p><p>But this was not a normal rescue and if he wanted to get out of here on time to make it through the next window, he had to do things differently. Luckily it didn’t seem like the man suddenly started having difficulties breathing. He remained stable, but unconscious. It wasn’t hard to figure out why he was unconscious though. His face was one bloody mess of open festering wounds and there was a big jab that started on his forehead and that went all the way to the top of his head. The man had landed head first when he fell in that tunnel. No doubt about it.</p><p>Buck gently touched the man’s chest. “Hey, Eddie? Eddie Diaz? Can you hear me?” No response, but maybe—</p><p>“Eddie. Christopher wanted me to give you a message.” He brought his hand up to a bloody cheek. “You’re gonna be okay kid.”</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie felt like he was floating. There was no up or down, just everything and everywhere. He felt like he was spinning over and over again, with no fixed point in sight. And then suddenly, there was a welcoming beacon.</p><p>“Eddie—Christopher—gonna be okay kid.”</p><p>His eyelids felt like they weighed a 100 tons, but he still lifted them because of the voice that was calling out to him. He finally managed to open his eyes, only to be assaulted by a glaring light.</p><p>“Oops, sorry,” someone said and suddenly the light was gone.</p><p>“Christopher—” he managed to say, trying to make out the face of the person sitting next to him.</p><p>“Yeah man, he’s fine. We found him. My shipmates are with him right now. He’s okay,” the faceless man said.</p><p>“Good. Bring him—safe place,” he mumbled, feeling himself slip away again.</p><p>“We will. We will. But we’re taking you too. Okay?”</p><p>That made Eddie a little more lucid. “No, leave me. No hope. Save my son.” He grabbed on to the arm of the man to lift himself up until he could look him straight into the eyes and repeated his last sentence. “Save my son.” Before he slumped down, back into unconsciousness, dreaming of blue eyes.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck let out the breath he had been holding. The moment that Eddie had grabbed his arm to stare him straight in the eye, had shook him up. He could see everything right there. The immense love this man held for his son was incredible. He was willing to sacrifice himself to save Christopher.</p><p>“Yeah well—not on my watch buddy,” Buck said and he got to work to get Eddie Diaz out of this hell hole and back to his son.</p><p>---</p><p>If Chimney would pace any more he would wear a hole into the ground. Hen had had enough.</p><p>“Will you just sit down already!” She yelled and quickly added as an afterthought, “Sir.”</p><p>Chimney didn’t sit down, but thankfully he stopped moving. He looked at Hen. “It’s been almost two hours. Where is he Hen?”</p><p>Hen shook her head. “I don’t know Chim. Neither do you. That is something we just have to accept. You know Buck. He loves cutting it close. We just have to have faith that he’ll make it back in time.”</p><p>“And if he doesn’t?” Chimney asked, grasping at straws now.</p><p>“Well—then it was an honour for me to have met you. I’m sure you’ll be happy working on Pruna VI. After all, waste disposal is all the hype these days.”</p><p>“Don’t,” Chimney said, looking absolutely terrified, “don’t even joke about that. You know how long it took me to get that awful smell of garbage from my skin. I can’t do it Hen. I can’t.”</p><p>Hen smiled at his antics, but before she could reply, a loud banging sounded through the dwelling. Christopher suddenly shot up from where he had been resting on the ground. The boy had refused to leave the door because he wanted to wait for his father to come back. So in the end Hen had dragged the mattress from his bed next to the door and ordered him to get some sleep.</p><p>“DAD!” he called out, grabbing his crutches. As he opened the door, Buck almost fell inside as he slumped under the weight of the man he was carrying on his back.</p><p>“He’s alive Christopher,” he said, ripping off his goggles and looking at the boy, “he’s alive.”</p><p>“Well, I’ll be damned,” Hen silently cursed. It seemed that Buck had come through on his promise. Her doctor-training kicked in.</p><p>“Buck, put him on the table,” Hen quickly swept everything from the table to make room for Eddie Diaz. Chimney helped Buck put Eddie gently on the table.</p><p>Hen took a deep breath as soon as she saw the man’s face. It was clear what the problem was. She grabbed her kit and set to work.</p><p>---</p><p>Christopher couldn’t believe his eyes. It was his dad, but at the same time it wasn’t. It looked nothing like him. There was so much blood.</p><p>He stepped closer to the table. “Dad?” He asked, biting his lip so hard that he drew blood. Before he could get any closer a big hand fell onto his shoulder. Buck crouched down next to him and caught his eyes. “You better let Hen do her work buddy. She is the best doctor out there, so don’t you worry about your dad, okay.”</p><p>Christopher nodded. He wanted to be brave like his dad, but there was so much blood and—</p><p>The boy burst out into tears. Buck’s big strong arms enveloped him and held him lovingly.</p><p>For the first time in days now he felt safe.</p><p>He heard Buck mutter something above him, but he couldn’t focus long enough to pick up the words. He just held on a little tighter and finally succumbed to exhaustion.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck could pinpoint the exact moment when Christopher’s small body gave into the stress and exhaustion of the last couple of days, as he went slack in his arms. He just held on tighter, still staring at the broken man lying on the table, promising him over and over again—</p><p>“I’ll take care of him for you until you wake up again, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to him—I promise.”</p><p>He looked down at the soft curls of the boy in his arms and gently kissed his head.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you and your daddy safe. You’re gonna be okay kid.”</p><p>His crusty eyes filled with tears that spilled over his cheeks. Damn, he always had been a sucker for kids.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to know when I update.</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter. If you did, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on this story. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Saved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An incessant loud beeping was reverberating in Eddie’s head. He wanted it to stop so he could go back to sleep. He had been dreaming so sweetly. In this dream he felt like he was floating, but he really wasn’t, if that made any sense at all. Someone was carrying him on his back, his body moving up and down, a shoulder wide and solid underneath his torso, a strong hand holding on to him tightly, keeping him safe. For the first time in forever he felt protected, like he could let go of all of his problems and someone would be there to catch him if he would fall.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>With a little delay due to some WIFI issues, I'm posting the next part of this fic.</p><p>We finally get to meet Eddie. YAY!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>BEEP       -        BEEP        -         BEEP</p><p>An incessant loud beeping was reverberating in Eddie’s head. He wanted it to stop so he could go back to sleep. He had been dreaming so sweetly. In this dream he felt like he was floating, but he really wasn’t, if that made any sense at all. Someone was carrying him on his back, his body moving up and down, a shoulder wide and solid underneath his torso, a strong hand holding on to him tightly, keeping him safe. For the first time in forever he felt protected, like he could let go of all of his problems and someone would be there to catch him if he would fall. It was a heady feeling after being alone with Christopher for so long. His boy had always needed him to be strong and capable, moments of weakness were far in between and when he <em>did</em> feel the weight of that wretched moon crushing him, he just let out his rage and fear on his hunting trips, where Christopher couldn’t see or hear him break down. For a brief moment in his dream he had felt completely at peace.</p><p>That feeling was gone now.</p><p>The beeping sound was still going strong and it was getting harder to ignore. He knew instinctively that it was important for him to latch onto the sound and follow it to wherever it would lead. It took him some time, but eventually and with great difficulty he managed to open his eyes. A soft light blinded him for a moment, but his eyes quickly adjusted. He wanted to move, but found that he couldn’t as there was some kind of force field holding him down.</p><p>Where was he? Did the Ravàlian bring him here? Was he their captive? Where was his son?</p><p>BEEP - BEEP - BEEP</p><p>As his breathing picked up, the sound of his heartbeat sped up as well. Before he could work himself into a complete state of panic, a face appeared in his line of sight. A woman. She smiled softly at him, holding up her hands where he could see them as if to prove to him that she meant no harm. “Hi Eddie. Glad to see you’re awake. Try not to move. I had to immobilise you so you wouldn’t injure yourself any further,” she said, smiling softly at him. She had short hair and glasses and the warmest smile he had ever seen on a person. Beautiful pearly white teeth welcomed him back to full consciousness. “I’m Hen Wilson. I’m the Chief Medical Officer aboard the SF-118. We are a Starfleet ship that specialises in difficult and risky rescues. We found you and we got you and your boy of that moon.”</p><p>“C-C-Christopher?” He spit out. He winced, his voice sounded as if he had been scraping his throat with sandpaper.</p><p>The doctor’s eyes softened up as she gently patted his shoulder. “Don’t you worry about that boy of yours. He’s here on the ship and he’s being taken care of by our own resident Buckaroo.”</p><p>“What? Who—Buckaroo?” Eddie was confused.</p><p>“Evan Buckley, but he goes by Buck. He is our Chief of Engineering and he looks all tough and lean, but he has a soft spot for kids. So rest assured that Christopher already has that man wrapped around his little finger,” the Doctor said, grinning ear to ear. She started checking some of his vital signs as she kept on talking to him. “Your son is safe with Buck. I promise,” the Doctor vowed, looking him straight in the eye as if to convey her sincerity. “After all, he was the one that found you on that moon in the first place and brought you home again. Without him you wouldn’t be here in the first place,” she added.</p><p>Something was right there in Eddie’s memory. That name—Buck. It didn’t ring a bell, but if he was the one that found him, then perhaps he was also the one that—</p><p>“Did he carry me on his back?” he asked the Doctor, his voice still not back to normal.</p><p>She seemed surprised by his question. “You remember that? That’s a good sign. I was worried about your brain there for a while. You had some extreme swelling going on and I didn’t know if you would remember anything to be honest,” she explained. “But to answer your question: Yeah, that was Buck. But when you meet him, don’t be fooled by his tough appearance. On the inside he is the sweetest guy on the ship. Christopher certainly seemed to think so, because he trusted him enough to fall asleep on him.” She smiled at the memory.</p><p>“He did?” Eddie asked, surprised that his son actually felt comfortable enough to leave his side at all.</p><p>“That he did,” the Doctor said, “it was pretty obvious in that moment that Christopher had chosen to trust Buck, so for us it was a no-brainer who was going to take care of the boy while you couldn’t.”</p><p>Before he could say anything else, Eddie suddenly felt as if he weighed 500 kilos, his eyes getting heavier as he felt himself slipping away. He heard the Doctor calling out to him.</p><p>“Eddie? EDDIE!”</p><p>“Tell Christoprrrrr—” he slurred and then there was nothing.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was just done eating breakfast when Christopher finally emerged from his bedroom, curls uncombed and messy as they laid wild across his head. Still yawning he sat down, deposited his crutches under the table and straight away tucked into the breakfast Buck had prepared for him. The last couple of days the boy’s appetite had re-emerged and he couldn’t seem to stop eating. It was a clear sign that he was feeling more at home with each passing day. Buck was glad for that, because the first week on the ship had been rough on both of them.</p><p>He silently studied Christopher for a minute while the kid was happily digging into his cereal, shovelling it all into his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten in 8 years. Buck still worried. The boy might be eating better than before, but it had been 2 weeks since the rescue and he still looked bone-tired. After passing out in Buck’s arms back on that moon he had slept for a solid 24 hours.</p><p>He had even slept through their bumpy return to the 118, which was saying something. It had been touch and go there for a while in order to safely exit Ravàlian space. In the end they had barely managed to slip through the grid within the narrow window of 25 seconds without raising any alarms. As soon as they were aboard the 118 the Captain had ordered the helm to fly as far away from Batàvia as possible so they could remain undetected. The last thing they needed was a full-blown war between the Federation and the Ravàlian. It wasn’t a moment too soon, because they had only just exited Batàvian space before the sensors picked up two war cruisers coming their way. Luckily, the 118 had been long gone by then.</p><p>As soon as they had left the interferential distortion of the defence shield, they were able to directly beam Eddie over from the shuttlebay to sickbay. Once there Hen had set to work to reduce the dangerous swelling in the man’s brain. It took some time to stabilise him, but Hen was the best doctor out there and she eventually managed to pull him through the worst of it.</p><p>If he would only wake up now, that would be perfect. For some reason Eddie kept waking up for very brief moments of time before slipping back into unconsciousness. Hen had run a number of tests, using every single piece of advanced medical technology on the ship, but it hadn’t made any difference. Eddie kept slipping back into a coma over and over again. According to Hen it had to do with Eddie’s body. In her words—</p><p>“The brain works in mysterious ways Buck. Sometimes it just needs a little more time to heal, no matter how fancy the technology you throw at it.”</p><p>Not exactly the uplifting update an eight-year old needed to hear about his father, so Christopher usually ended up crying himself to sleep every night, sleeping for a couple of hours, before waking up from terrible night terrors. Buck did his best to console him through it all, but in the end he was still a virtual stranger for the boy. He needed his dad first and foremost.</p><p>Maddie regularly scheduled little chats with Christopher to get a sense of how he was coping with the situation. After all, not only was his father’s life still in danger, he was also ripped away from the only home he’d ever known, thrown onto a starship that housed about 150 crew members, many of them different species. That’s a lot to take after being alone with your father on a desolate moon for as long as you can remember.</p><p>After a couple of these conversations Maddie had entrusted Buck with her worries about Christopher’s mental state. The boy had gone through severe psychological trauma and he needed his father’s stabile presence to heal properly. When Buck had asked what would happen if Eddie didn’t make it, the answer hadn’t been what he wanted to hear from her—</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s not even go there Buck. That poor boy has gone through enough. Eddie Diaz has kept that boy alive for seven years on that horrid moon. I have to believe that he loves him enough to come back to him,” she had said, tears in her eyes.</p><p>“We both know that’s not always how life works Maddie,” Buck had tentatively suggested.</p><p>“I know Buck. Believe me, I know. But for Christopher’s sake, I hope he pulls through.”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes had spoken volumes. Buck knew from experience that Maddie was seldom wrong about these things. So yes, he worried—he worried a lot. He glanced outside for a second, taking in the view. There was a far-away star shining in the darkness of space. Its beauty briefly caught his attention, before he let his eyes wander through their quarters, cataloguing how much bigger and more practical these family quarters were compared to his own tiny single room he had been living in since he came aboard. It had been Maddie’s idea. She had explained that, in order to make the boy feel more at home, he needed a safe haven to return to when things got to be too much. Buck had volunteered to temporarily move in with him and the Captain had immediately agreed, seeing how Christopher was clinging onto Buck even in his sleep.</p><p>The fleeting thought that he could get used to living here forever crossed his mind. He quickly pushed that thought away, because the only way for him to live here forever would be if Eddie— well, he didn’t really want to dwell on that horrible future scenario too long. It would break Christopher and that was unacceptable.</p><p>Some of his friends had had some reservations about him moving in with Christopher. They weren’t sure about his capability to take care of a child by himself, but in the end they all had to admit that they had been wrong. Everything had worked out perfectly. Buck loved living with Christopher. Suddenly he wasn’t alone anymore. He had someone to come home to, to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with, to just talk to about anything they wanted to talk about. It made him realise just how lonely he had been ever since Abby left. Taking care of someone made him feel <em>useful</em>. He had always loved taking care of the people in his life and helping them out if they needed something. It was just who he was. It was ingrained in his DNA. Maddie knew this about him and she encouraged him to spend more time with Christopher to offer the boy a stable home environment.</p><p>They had settled into a simple domestic routine that suited them both just fine. Christopher was a great kid and doing this for him, being there for him made Buck feel good. He couldn’t do anything for his dad, but he could do this. He could take care of the boy for as long as he needed him.</p><p>In the beginning all Christopher had wanted to do was hang around in sickbay, close to his father. But when it soon became obvious that nothing much was changing in Eddie’s condition, the boy’s mood sunk to an all-time low. So Buck had taken it upon himself to distract the kid by telling him about all the rescues they had performed. After that, the kid’s curiosity had peaked and Buck had started taking him all over the ship, giving him the grand tour of all the decks, showing him where everything was and explaining the importance of every single room. The Captain had even let the boy sit in his chair when they were on the bridge. Last, but not least, he had also brought him to the engine room, his pride and joy. Chris had seemed suitably impressed. It had become very clear to Buck that the boy was highly intelligent and had a healthy dose of curiosity, but ultimately, his eyes never sparkled the way any other 8-year old’s eyes would, by exploring a real starship. Buck worried that he would never get the chance to see that typical sparkle in Christopher’s eyes if his dad didn’t make it.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning,” he finally said, breaking the easy silence. The boy just grumbled something back that vaguely sounded like a morning greeting. Buck had found out the hard way that Christopher was decidedly not a morning person. “How are you feeling today,” Buck asked, trying to make conversation.</p><p>“Good,” Christopher mumbled, occupying himself with pouring some more cereal in his bowl. “Milk?” Buck suggested, holding up the bottle.</p><p>At least that earned him a “Thanks.”</p><p>“So,” Buck started, “what do you feel like doing today? We haven’t visited the holodeck yet so that’s an option. There are some interesting programs you might like.”</p><p>Christopher looked up at him. “Actually, I’d like to go to sickbay first to visit dad. Is that okay?”</p><p>“Of course that’s okay buddy. You can visit your dad whenever you want. You know that,” Buck explained.</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Christopher said, listlessly stirring his cereal, “Its just—you’re probably bored with me always wanting to visit my dad. You don’t have to take me there if you don’t want to. I know the way by now.”</p><p>“Hey,” Buck said, standing up to walk over to Christopher. He crouched down so he could look the boy in the eye, “I could never be bored spending time with you, okay? It’s no hardship for me if you want to visit your dad. I get that you’re worried about him and you want to spend time with him. So I really don’t mind bringing you to sickbay. Got that?”</p><p>Christopher looked at him, the beginning of a smile on his face, his glasses slanted a bit to the right when his nose scrunched up. “Got it Buck,” he said, before leaning over and hugging him. Buck held on to him for a moment. The first time the boy had leaned over to hug him had taken him by surprise, but he was used to it by now. Christopher was a very tactile boy and he always talked about how his dad gave the best hugs, so it was no hardship for Buck to give the boy some measurement of bodily comfort. And if he secretly liked the hugs as well? Well, that was nobody’s business but his.</p><p>---</p><p>Hen was concerned. She had adjusted some of Eddie’s medicines and checked his vitals. They seemed fine. In fact, everything seemed fine, <em>more than</em> even-- but she still worried. The man had been coming out and falling back into unconsciousness for 2 weeks now. All the tech and medicines she had at her disposal couldn’t help the fact that she had no means left to help Eddie Diaz. Sometimes the body just didn’t respond properly to the right treatment. No rhyme or reason to it.</p><p>All of this left her with no other option but wait for Eddie’s brain to heal on its own. And this bothered her. She wanted to speed up the process somehow and make sure that Eddie survived. The man had been through so much, he deserved to live out the rest of his life in peace and comfort, together with his son. When she thought about that boy, her heart hurt. Every single time he entered sickbay, hopeful eyes looking at her, she had to be the one to shoot down that hope. She felt horrible about that. It made her want to hug Denny a little longer every night when she and Karen put their son to bed.</p><p>Karen had fussed a little more over her the last couple of days. Her wife knew how the current state of her patient was affecting her and tried to be there for her when it all became too much. She was so lucky to have scored that woman. She still wasn’t sure what on Earth had possessed Karen all those years ago when she had said ‘yes’ as Hen had popped <em>the</em> question, but she wasn’t one to question her good fortune.</p><p>That brought her to Buck. Buck didn’t have a Karen to look after him. He only had Maddie and she spent a lot of her time with Chimney, so that left Buck all alone. Most of the time he seemed fine with that, but once in a while she saw a crack in his armour, left by Abby and -in lesser extent- by Ali. And now he was taking care of that boy and Hen was no fool, she recognised love when she saw it. Buck had barely known the boy for two weeks and already he was completely devoted to him.</p><p>He had been by every day, at different times of the day, so Christopher could see his dad. She could see how the man did his best to get the boy’s mind of his father’s condition and how uncomfortable he was leaving the boy there when he eventually had to leave for the engine room. And like clockwork, every single day Christopher left sickbay crying in Buck’s arms when he came around to pick the boy up again.</p><p>“Captain to Hen.” Her comm badge chimed. She startled as she was rudely pulled out of her ruminations.</p><p>“Go ahead Captain,” she responded, gathering her professionalism.</p><p>“Status report on Eddie Diaz’ condition, Doctor,” the Captain ordered.</p><p>“I honestly don’t know what so say anymore Sir. His condition is still the same. He wakes up for a few minutes one or two times a day, asks me the same damn question every single time before losing consciousness again. After these spells, he remains completely unresponsive,” she answered, her frustration bleeding through.</p><p>“Christopher?” The Captain guessed. He sounded as sad as she felt.</p><p>“Yeah, that man’s love for his boy is deep Cap’,” she said, as she briefly glanced over to Eddie’s sickbed. “I mean, Christopher was all he had to live for. I can’t imagine anyone holding on to life for so long on that moon without a purpose, and Eddie’s purpose was Christopher.”</p><p>“What’s the next step?” The Captain asked.</p><p>“According to all the scans I’ve done, he should have been long awake, but it hasn’t happened so far. I’m prepared to give it a few more days, but if nothing happens by then, well—” She left the rest of the sentence unsaid, but Bobby wasn’t a fool. He could read between the lines.</p><p>She could hear the Captain sigh heavily through the comm. “Okay, then-- I guess we’ll just have to keep the faith that he’ll pull through. At least for his son and his family back on Mars.”</p><p>“His family Sir?” Hen asked. This was the first time she had heard of this.</p><p>“Yeah, Athena did some research and she was able to contact his parents. They were understandably in shock when I told them the news. They had been convinced for years that they had lost their son and grandson forever. Funnily enough, they didn’t react all that emotional when I informed them of their daughter-in-law’s death.”</p><p>“Well, it was a lot of news to deal with,” Hen said. “Perhaps they were just so shocked with the news that Eddie and Christopher had survived that Shannon’s death didn’t really register. Grief manifests in different ways. Could be that the blow of Shannon’s death will hit them later,” she suggested.</p><p>“Hmmm-- perhaps,” The captain replied, but Hen knew Bobby. He didn’t sound convinced.</p><p> “And Shannon’s family?” She asked.</p><p>“Athena couldn’t find any living relatives, so she asked the Diaz family about that. They confirmed what we already suspected. Shannon didn’t leave any parents or other family behind. They all died years ago.”</p><p>“Man, this family didn’t catch any breaks,” Hen said. Goosebumps broke out across her arms as she thought about this family’s plight. She looked at Eddie again. “I really want him to pull through Captain.” Determination in her voice. “I’ll check the database again. Maybe there’s some procedure out there I haven’t tried yet.”</p><p>“Keep me posted Hen.”</p><p>“I will Captain. I will. Hen out.”</p><p>---</p><p>Christopher hobbled into sickbay with more than a hint of trepidation. Every time he walked in here, he had left with less hope than he had arrived with. The Doctor never said a lot, but her pitying eyes spoke volumes every single time he asked about his dad’s condition. Buck always tried to cheer him up afterwards, but for the last couple of days Christopher just didn’t feel up to go along with Buck’s suggestions anymore. The more time passed, the more he just wanted to sit next to his dad, hold his hand and talk to him. Somewhere in there, his dad was hiding and Christopher just wanted him to wake up, look at him and say “Booh, got ya!” Just like he used to do when he was little and they played hide-and-seek in their home.</p><p>The Doctor was already there, waiting by his dad’s bedside, checking up on his vitals. She looked over to him and he could see how she instantly changed her gloomy look of worry to a brighter happier one, no doubt to make sure that Christopher didn’t worry. Well—too late, because that’s all he did these days.</p><p>“Hey there kid,” she greeted him, before looking at Buck, “Buck.”</p><p>“Hey Hen, how is he doing today,” Buck cut straight to the important question, something which Christopher appreciated. Buck never treated him like a baby. He said it like it was and -so far- had never lied to him.</p><p>The Doctor’s cheerful demeanour dimmed as she looked down at his dad for a moment. “Well— I’m not one to sugar-coat anything and I’m not going to start now. I’ll be honest, it doesn’t look good. He woke up two times since you visited yesterday, but again only for a couple of minutes before slipping back into a coma.”</p><p>Christopher bit his lip, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall as soon as he had heard her words. He walked up to his dad, put his crutches on the ground and grabbed his father’s hand.</p><p>“Hey dad,” he whispered, “It’s me—Christopher. I was just wondering when you were going to wake up. I know I talked to you about this before, but—dad, I really need you to wake up, okay? I love you so much and—just wake up already.” He felt so much anger running through his body. He just didn’t understand. Why wasn’t his dad waking up? He lifted his hand, balled it up in a fist and hit his dad’s arm with all the power he had in him. “WAKE UP!” He yelled.</p><p>He was full-out crying again at this point, but he didn’t care. He just wanted his dad to wake up. More than anything in the world.</p><p>A gentle hand was laid across his shoulder, holding back his arm as Christopher made another fist with the intention to hit again. “Hey hey, no more of that. Okay? He’s fighting buddy,” Buck said, sadness seeping through every word, “I don’t know your dad, but I know one thing—I know that he loves you more than anything in this universe. Do you know how I know this?” He asked.</p><p>Christopher kept his eyes on his father’s blurry face and shook his head.</p><p>“It was all there in his eyes. That moment I found him in the cave on Sitèria? The only question on his mind was your name and if you were okay. A question he has been repeating to the Doctor every single time he has woken up. So I have no doubt that he is still in there—fighting to get back to you. I just know it.”</p><p>Buck’s words cut deep into Christopher’s soul as he broke down completely and wailed in misery. Buck gently turned him around and Christopher buried his face into Buck’s belly, trying to hide from the world as he let out his grief.</p><p>Buck’s arms held onto him with a tenderness belied by his appearance and Christopher clung to him just a little harder.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie struggled against the fog. There was a voice talking to him— calling out for him. He knew that voice. He knew that voice better than he knew his own. He knew the face that belonged to that voice, the curve of those lips and the shape of those eyes, the slope of that nose and the curls in that hair. He knew how it felt to bury his nose in that hair and the sweet smell that came along with it.</p><p>He knew him. He knew his son. His Christopher.</p><p>But something wasn’t right, because he was crying. His Christopher was crying and he sounded so sad and defeated and that was wrong. His son should never feel defeated about anything. That’s not how he raised him. He raised him to be resilient and strong so he could survive on this wretched rock. But, they weren’t on that rock anymore, were they?</p><p>He vaguely remembered waking up and someone talking to him—a woman with short hair and glasses. She had a beautiful smile. He remembered asking her about Christopher and something about a—buckaroo?</p><p>His boy was there, next to him, he could hear him. He had started crying even harder and no—</p><p>Christopher needed him. Eddie needed to fight the fog in his head and just wake the fuck up already.</p><p>His <em>son</em> needed him and he refused to disappoint him once again.</p><p>It was time.</p><p>Time to fight.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was holding on tight to Christopher when he saw Eddie’s hand move from the corner of his eye. His eyes snapped up to the man’s face immediately. Could it be?</p><p>He found himself staring straight into the hazel eyes that he only saw once before, back in that cave all those weeks ago. For a moment they silently held eye contact, before Eddie’s eyes slid down and focused on the boy that was still in Buck’s arms, crying his little heart out. He could see how Eddie’s breathing picked up and the monitor that kept an eye on his pulse sped up dangerously.</p><p>Hen was there in a second. “Eddie?” she said, taking a tricorder to check on his vital signs. “Slow down there friend. Breathe in—” Hen took a deep breath holding it in for a couple of seconds, “and out again.” It seemed to work as Eddie’s pulse slowed down. She quickly removed the forcefield holding him in place to make him more comfortable. She then took out a little light to check his pupils. Buck couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, waiting for the verdict. She finally looked up at Buck and smiled tentatively. The first sign of hope he had seen on Hen’s face for a while now. He beamed back at her and in all his excitement he almost forgot about Christopher, when suddenly the boy in his arms moved.</p><p>“Daddy?” Christopher turned his head when he realised something had changed.</p><p>Eddie’s eyes found his son’s again. Buck could see the man’s eyes cloud over with tears. “Christopher—” he said, holding out his hand towards his son. The boy let go of Buck and practically threw himself into his father’s arms.</p><p>“Dad, dad, dad— don’t leave me again. I was so scared,” he sobbed into his father’s chest.</p><p>Eddie buried his nose in his son’s curls and breathed in deeply. “I won’t buddy. Never again—I promise,” he muttered.</p><p>Buck vaguely registered Hen stepping away from the bed to give the two some privacy. She came over to stand next to him, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the perfect tableau in front of him. “Here,” she said dryly, as she produced a tissue out of nowhere and held it in front of his face. Buck could only sob his thanks as he gratefully took the tissue to dab at his eyes and blow his nose.</p><p>He couldn’t help it, he was just so damn happy for them.</p><p>---</p><p>Bobby was in his ready room drinking his coffee and going through some personnel files when his comm badge chimed.</p><p>“Doctor Wilson to the Captain.”</p><p>“Go ahead Doctor,” he said, focussing his attention on her.</p><p>“Captain, I have something to show you,” she said. She sounded giddy.</p><p>“All right, I’ll put you on screen,” he replied, curious as to where this conversation was going.</p><p>Hen’s face appeared on his screen. She was smiling ear to ear.</p><p>“Seeing how you can’t stop smiling, I assume you’re going to give me some good news?” Bobby asked, smiling back at her.</p><p>“Yes Sir, very good news,” Hen said, “look at this.” She switched the image to focus on one of the beds in sickbay. On it was Eddie Diaz, very much awake, almost desperately -but happily- hugging his son. Buck stood a little further away. He was dabbing his eyes with a tissue. He looked like an emotional wreck.</p><p>“Is Buck crying again?” Bobby asked. He slowly shook his head, a big smile forming on this lips. He heaved a sigh of relief. This was the outcome he had hoped for. Father and son reunited once again.</p><p>Hen’s face filled the screen. “Hmm-mm,” she nodded, smiling back at him. “I swear, that boy has the softest heart I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>Bobby grinned at that. Truer words had never been spoken. “So, is he fully awake now? Or could he still slip back into unconsciousness,” he asked, bringing the focus back to Eddie.</p><p>“Well, I ran some quick tests and they were very promising,” Hen informed him. “The previous tests I did always showed decreased brain activity. This is the first time that I can detect brain function on a much higher level than before. I truly think he is with us again permanently Captain.”</p><p>“Great news Hen,” Bobby said, “I was getting really worried there that he wouldn’t make it.”</p><p>“Yeah, seems that all he needed was his son begging him to come back to him,” Hen said. She shook her head in disbelief.</p><p>“A true father then,” Bobby said, smiling back at her.</p><p>“Oh yes, I don’t think I’m going to be able to separate those two anytime soon.” She grinned.</p><p>“Just give them as much time as they need Hen,” Bobby told her. “They both deserve it. Oh, and inform Eddie I’ll be by within a couple of days to talk to him. I have some questions I’d like to ask him,” Bobby said, before adding as an afterthought, “and tell Buck to take a break before he resumes his shift at engineering. It seems like he could use some time to compose himself. Oh—and tell him he should really consider changing into another uniform as well. I can see the runny nose, snot and tearstains from here. ”</p><p>“Hey, I heard that!” Buck called out in the background. He sounded miffed about Bobby’s suggestion. It caused Hen to break out in peals of laughter.</p><p>“Will do Cap’,” she sniggered, “Hen out.”</p><p>As soon as she had signed off, Bobby opened one of the drawers on his desk, took out a little black notebook and added another tally to his list.</p><p>Another successful rescue.</p><p>Another person saved.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie had been fully awake for three days now and he was bored beyond belief. The Doct-- well, <em>Hen</em> now as she had kindly informed him to call her, had wanted to keep him in sickbay for a couple of days after waking up, so she could monitor the amount of swelling that still remained in his brain. And so far his recovery was going well. Each scan she took was a little better than the last one. She had informed him that, if he continued to improve at this rate, he would be out of here by tomorrow. Which was a huge relief because sickbay was really starting to get on his nerves.</p><p>Eddie was a very physical person. Growing up he had always been an active child: playing sports, helping out his father in the family business and later on, as an adult, he had followed in his father’s footsteps and joined the Martian army. Even when he was on Sitèria he had gone out hunting as often as was necessary. So he was used to being up and about, doing something worthwhile and right now he wanted to get out of sickbay to explore the ship. It had been so long since he’d been on any kind of starship and interacted with other people. He simply craved more contact with other living sentient beings, no matter what species they were.</p><p>Falling down that hole had been a terrible experience, but it had lead him right here to the 118. His accident had saved them from their dreadful bleak lives. So if given the choice he would very gladly throw himself back down that hole, so his son could send out that mayday -which had been so smart of him by the way- so they could be rescued all over again.</p><p>Thinking about his rescue brought him right back to Buck, the man who had saved him from his sandy grave. He didn’t remember anything from that day besides the notion of being carried on someone’s back—Buck’s back as he had later found out. But that was okay, because Christopher had been very vocal about the rescue from the start and he had been eager to fill in the blanks.</p><p>“Buck was so incredible dad! He climbed down that hole, got you out and carried you home on his back. Can you imagine that? He is so strong.”</p><p>Christopher’s hero worship of Buck was very endearing and sweet, but it was also a little tiresome. The way he talked about him was almost as if the guy was some kind of superhuman. Which made Eddie suspect that Buck wasn’t human at all, because no way this almost <em>mythical creature</em> his son described to him could be human. After all, there were a lot of species out there who looked human, but really weren’t. When he had voiced this question to Hen though, she had burst out in loud laughter, after which she had informed him that Buck was actually <em>all</em> human, admittedly with a very tiny sprinkle of Betazoid thrown in there to shake things up a little. But yeah—mostly human.</p><p>Buck came by to drop Christopher off for a visit every day. These visits were, without a doubt, the absolute highlight of Eddie’s day. He loved how happy and healthy Christopher looked. His boy looked vibrant and alive for the very first time in his existence and Eddie soaked it all up. Still, he didn’t want Christopher hanging around in sickbay all day. It wasn’t really a suitable place for a kid to spend his time, so after an hour or so, Buck always came by to collect him so he could take him on an adventure somewhere on the ship. Buck took his son everywhere and patiently explained things to him so Christopher would understand what he was talking about. His boy really liked Buck a lot and Eddie was grateful that this man was willing to sacrifice his time to care for his son.</p><p>However, that didn’t mean that it wasn’t bothering him a little that Christopher was always—</p><p> </p><p>“Buck is so great dad!”</p><p>“Buck is so smart!”</p><p>“Buck told me that--”</p><p> </p><p>And it wasn’t that he was jealous of the man, but it was more that -for some inexplicable reason- Buck seemed to be avoiding him at all costs. He wanted to properly meet the man who had saved him and who was taking care of his son. When he had first woken up, he had briefly caught a glance of blue eyes, a handsome face and blushing cheeks coated with tears. A while later the guy had left to give Christopher and him a moment to reconnect. Ever since then Buck had been very aloof every time he dropped Christopher off. Same thing an hour later when he came by to pick him up again. A quick <em>Hi</em> and <em>Bye</em> was all he ever got from the man. It was very strange, almost as if he afraid of interacting with Eddie in some way.</p><p>Eddie just wanted to have one conversation with Buck to find out what kind of man he was. After all, he currently was Christopher’s full-time carer. Hen might have vouched for him, but she also called him ‘Buckaroo’ a lot of the time, so yeah—</p><p>He had decided that today was the day he was going to speak to Buck. As soon as Buck would come in to drop off Christopher he would stop him and force him to talk to him. Hen had informed him that this might be the only way to draw Buck into conversation, since he was—</p><p>“As stubborn as a mule.”</p><p>-- according to her.</p><p>About half an hour later when Buck and Christopher walked in for his son’s daily visit, he got his chance. As soon as they were inside, Chris walked up to him as fast as his crutches could take him, threw his arms around him and hugged him tightly. Eddie couldn’t contain his happiness. To think he had almost lost this forever—</p><p>He looked up to Buck to ask him to stay, only to see that the man in question had already turned around and had one foot out the door. Oh no—</p><p>“Buck wait!” He called out, a little louder than planned as Hen looked up from her workstation and sent him a pointed look. Eddie winced. “Sorry,” he said, giving her his best smile.</p><p>At the door Buck had turned back to him and he was now looking at Eddie wearily and with clear hesitation in his eyes, as if he hadn’t quite decided yet if he was going to leave or stay. Eddie stared at him, not really sure how to start the conversation. He clearly hadn’t thought this through properly, but he supposed the best place to start was with thanking the guy for saving him.</p><p>“I just wanted to say thank you. First of all thanks for saving my son’s life and keeping him safe. And thank you for saving me as well. I owe you one,” he said. Christopher finally let go of him and turned back to Buck, sending him his most beautiful smile. “See Buck? I told you he wouldn’t be angry,” the boy said.</p><p>Buck’s serious expression melted away and in its place a shy smile appeared as he rocked back on his heels. He looked down for a moment, as if he needed the time to compose himself, before looking back up. Eddie was caught by surprise how the strong Chief of Engineering suddenly looked so much softer than before.</p><p>Buck shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything. In case you didn’t already know, rescuing people is kind of the thing we do around here. Besides—”, he said, looking fondly at Christopher, “getting to spend time with Christopher has been a lot of fun. You have a wonderful kid.” He added, looking back at Eddie.</p><p>Eddie smiled at him. “Yeah, he is pretty incredible, isn’t he?” Eddie replied, glancing down at his son. He quickly ducked down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, which made Christopher laugh out loud. “Daddy, that tickles!” He giggled.</p><p>Yeah, his son was pretty damn special and he was happy that other people could see it too. Christopher deserved nothing but the best.</p><p>Buck cleared his throat and Eddie looked back up at him. Only, the man wasn’t smiling anymore. Instead, he looked serious and even a little troubled. His eyes exuded determination as if he was gearing up to tell Eddie something important. Eddie knew that look. He had seen it in the mirror countless of times. “Listen,” Buck started, “I’m sorry that I might have seemed a little aloof the last couple of days. But I was a bit worried that you would be angry with me.”</p><p>“Angry?” Eddie asked. He was baffled. “Why would I be angry?”</p><p>“Well, Christopher seems to think that I’m some kind of superhero for saving you and I know he’s been very vocal about this to you and,” A red flush spread over his cheeks, “a lot of other people on this ship. And when I say ‘a lot’, I mean almost <em>everyone</em>.”</p><p>“Okay—” Eddie chuckled. Yeah, that sounded like his son all right. He used to talk Eddie’s ears off about random stuff and facts. It didn’t surprise him that he had apparently carried on doing that when he had an even bigger audience to address. He had always suspected that his son was a much more social creature than him, but up until now there had been no way of knowing if his hunch was correct.</p><p>“I just want you to know that I’m not trying to step on anyone’s toes here,” Buck explained. “You have taken amazing care of that boy for years now. You are a great dad. The kind of dad that everyone deserves, but not everyone actually gets. I just didn’t want him to get into trouble.”</p><p>Eddie felt overwhelmed with Buck’s kind words, but he was also puzzled. “Buck, Christopher was just stating the truth. You did save me and -from what I’ve heard- the rescue was quite spectacular. Why would Chris get in trouble for telling the truth?”</p><p>Buck smiled at him. “So you aren’t angry with him? Or me?”</p><p>“No, quite the opposite actually. You guys saved us. You, Hen, Commander Han, Captain Nash—all of you. You saved us and I couldn’t be more thankful.” Eddie smiled at him confidently, trying to reassure him of the validity of his words.</p><p>In fact—</p><p>“Listen, it’s obvious that you are badass under pressure,” he said, looking Buck straight in the eye while holding out his hand towards him. “You can have my back any day.”</p><p>Buck looked pleased as he took his hand and shook it. “Yeah, or—you—you could have mine,” he replied. He seemed happy and pleased with himself as he beamed a mega-watt smile at Eddie, which—</p><p>Wow, Eddie might need sunglasses for this. Buck almost looked—beautiful? Was that the right word to describe him?</p><p>It took him a moment, but he suddenly realised that he might have been staring at Buck’s smile a little too long and at the same time he became aware that he was still holding onto the man’s hand. He quickly withdrew his hand as he came to his senses, leaving an awkward silence in its wake.</p><p> “Dad, can I have a snack?” Christopher asked and Eddie had never been more grateful for his son’s reawakened appetite. “Sure buddy,” he answered. Buck crouched down as he spoke to Christopher. “What do you feel like eating? Just tell me and I’ll replicate it for you,” Buck said.</p><p>Eddie stared at him. Christopher had been right. Buck really was a good man through and through. He felt a sense of calm come over him and for the first time in years Eddie felt safe again. The crew of the 118 had come for them. They had rescued them. Buck had gone above and beyond to get him out of that cave while Hen had done everything humanly possible to keep him alive so his son could have a dad. Even more importantly, Buck had taken care of Christopher as if he was his own. That was truly special.</p><p>For the first time in so long he felt like he could rest because he finally had someone to watch his back.</p><p>And even better, Christopher now had two people to watch <em>his</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to know when I update.</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter. If you did, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on this story. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A New Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Buck had a lot of great friends on board of the ship, but he’d never had a friend like Eddie. It was like he had known the man for years. Eddie had slid into the slot of best friend so easily that it had taken Buck by surprise when he had realised that. He was the first person on board of the ship that knew a few things about his past that no one else knew, simply because he had told him. That was monumental. Buck didn’t normally like to talk about some of the more crazy and embarrassing things he had done when he was younger, but he had no problem telling them to Eddie for some reason.</p><p>AKA Eddie adjusts to life on board of the 118 while he stresses out about medical stuff, Buck is tired and lonely and Christopher has the biggest heart. Oh-- and Hen and Albert are very observant. They see it all and they suspect a couple of things.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It took me quite some time to write and edit this. Mainly because every character wanted to have their say and it was frustrating to try and figure out who was going to be allowed to speak up. The other characters will get their turn in one of the next chapters.</p><p>In this chapter I discuss a couple of medical procedures that I have invented out of thin air. I know nothing about medicine and if I there are medical professionals reading this, I apologise up front.</p><p>In the Star Trek universe there always seems to be an easy solution to every disease and ailment. I tweaked that a little in this story, for dramatic purposes.</p><p>I'm off for a short mini-vacation tomorrow, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up. It could be next weekend or the beginning of next week. It'll depend on whether or not I'll get much writing done during my mini-vacation.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bobby exited the turbolift on deck 8. He was on his way to sickbay. Eddie Diaz had woken up a couple of days ago and he wanted to ask him some questions about the circumstances of their disappearance seven years ago. He had planned to meet up with Eddie the day before, but an emergency had thrown a wrench into those plans.</p><p>A Ferengi transport ship had run into some trouble with a Klingon Warbird. Apparently the Klingons aboard the ship didn’t take too kindly to being bamboozled by a pair of Ferengi brothers. They had attacked them, locked them up in the cargo bay of their own ship and subsequently scared them half to dead. They had then left them stranded in the middle of space. It had taken a considerable amount of time, but in the end Buck had succeeded in unlocking the door of the cargo bay to get the brothers out of there, while Athena had taken a shuttle to have a little <em>chat</em> with the Captain of the Klingon Warbird. That poor Klingon Captain had looked so confused afterwards when he had contacted the Ferengi ship to apologise to them. Bobby’s amusement at his plight was soon over when one of the Ferengi offered him money to buy his wife, because according to him a woman with her considerable skills was certainly an asset to their operations. Bobby had been speechless for a moment before he had turned around to walk out of the room. Never before had he been so incredibly tempted to hit someone square in his smug face as in that moment.</p><p>So yeah, it had been a long day and there hadn’t been enough time to visit sickbay. Eddie had been scheduled to leave the place later today and Bobby wanted to catch him before he left. Under no circumstances did he want to bother father and son during the next couple of days. Maddie had informed him that after the ordeal they had gone through, the two could probably use some quality time together as they settled into their new quarters. So his best option was to talk to Eddie today.</p><p>He swiftly made his way through the corridors, yawning from time to time. He had been up pretty late last night, managing the last loose ends of the emergency, while also going through Eddie Diaz’ file one last time. Mostly because Athena had dug up some new information that caused some concerns about whether or not it was a good idea to have the man aboard the 118. Bobby wasn’t easily spooked and he understood that he shouldn’t judge someone based on his heritage, bus still—the <em>Martian Army</em>. Hard to get around that one without judging at least a little.</p><p>He couldn’t believe he hadn’t made the connection between Diaz and the Martian Army earlier when he found out the man had been born on Mars. His mind just never went there. Now he was forced to think about it, because he had actually spoken to the man of the hour himself, Ramon Diaz, the self-proclaimed leader of the one and only Martian Army, the next in a long line of Diaz men leading the private army. Father of Edmundo ‘Eddie’ Diaz, the next heir to the throne.</p><p>The Martian Army had been formed a long time ago with only one goal in mind: to keep Earth from interfering with Martian business. Early on in the twenty-second century, Mars had been a thriving human colony, still heavily tied to its mother planet Earth. But as Earth started butting in more and more with Martian affairs while mining a lot of its natural resources only to ship them back to Earth, a lot of the Martians started protesting Earth’s influence. The protests grew and eventually the Martian Army was born.</p><p>With the birth of the Federation, communication between mother- and daughter planet only deteriorated further. Eventually Mars called out their independence and seceded from Earth. After that, a long war had broken out, the Martian Army defending the planet from anyone who -in their eyes- didn’t belong there. After the war the Army hadn’t stopped recruiting and had only grown more powerful. With the lack of a war, the Army had then decided to put up their services for hire, ready to fight for anyone who needed a temporary army.</p><p>The Army had been led by Eduardo Diaz back then and ever since that time, leadership had been passed on from father to first-born son. So now Bobby had the next leader of an extremely powerful private army on board of his ship. An Army that hated the guts of an organisation that Bobby cherished and loved. That just didn’t sit well with him-- not at all.</p><p>When he finally entered sickbay, he was surprised to see Buck there. He hadn’t expected the Chief to actually stick around after he had dropped Christopher off. Chris was talking animatedly to Eddie, who seemed extremely comfortable in the duo’s company as he listened to his son, amusement and happiness bleeding from every pore of his being. Bobby was puzzled. It was very hard to match this man, devoted father of Christopher Diaz with Edmundo Diaz, the man who was next in line to take over the Martian Army.</p><p>His quiet contemplation was broken when Buck spotted him loitering in the doorway. “Captain,” he said, smiling happily at him. It didn’t escape Bobby’s notice that as soon as Buck had called out his title, Eddie’s posture changed completely. He went from relaxed to rigid in 2 seconds flat as he stood up from the bed and settled in a soldier’s stance.</p><p>“At ease soldier,” Bobby said half joking. He wasn’t used to his crew treating him this way. Bobby believed in a more loose form of leadership, which gave each individual on board a means to improve upon themselves. The order had worked though, as Eddie changed his stance into a more relaxed position.</p><p>“Yes Sir,” he said, doing his best to attempt to look comfortable in his presence. Bobby wasn’t fooled that easily. Eddie’s tension was visible in every single line on his face.</p><p>“How are you Eddie? I’ve heard from the Doctor that your condition has improved enough that you can leave sickbay,” Bobby said, attempting to make Eddie feel more at ease.</p><p>“I’m fine Sir, thank you,” the man replied, losing a little of the tension as he smiled. “But yeah, I get to leave today and I’m very happy about that. I mean, no disrespect to Doctor Wilson. She is incredible and I owe her for the wonderful care, but I’ve seen enough of this sickbay to last me a lifetime. In fact, Christopher and Buck were here to pick me up and escort me to my new quarters.”</p><p>“Were they now?” Bobby glanced over at Buck who had the decency to look a little guilty. Buck knew damn well that no one left sickbay before the Captain had officially signed off on it. Seemed that Buck had <em>forgotten</em> to inform him that he was busting Eddie out of sickbay.</p><p>“Well, far from wanting to keep you here any longer than necessary, but I wanted to have a quick word with you first, if that’s okay?” Bobby said, pulling up a chair and sitting down. A clear sign that he wasn’t taking no for an answer. “I have some questions.”</p><p>“Of course Sir,” Eddie said, looking a little uncomfortable. He swallowed heavily and sat back down on the bed.</p><p>“Buck, do you mind?” Bobby asked Buck, gesturing at Christopher. “Oh, of course,” Buck said as he laid his hand on Christopher’s shoulder, “Come on Chris. I have something interesting to show you. Have you ever seen bacteria grow in petri dishes?”</p><p>“No,” Christopher immediately perked up. His natural curiosity for all things <em>new</em> was endearing. Bobby was once again reminded that this boy had never known anything else but that dried up husk of a moon.</p><p>“Well, I happen to know that the Doctor has an entire collection of bacteria growing in her private laboratory. I bet that, if we ask nicely, we might be allowed to take a peek,” he said, handing the boy his crutches.</p><p>“Really?” Christopher asked, already excited with the prospect.</p><p>Still holding on to the boy’s shoulder, Buck gently guided him away from Bobby and Eddie.</p><p>As soon as they had gone, Bobby focused his attention back on Eddie and immediately cut to the chase. “Before we move one, I’d like to inform you that we were able to make contact with your family back on Mars.”</p><p>Eddie looked decidedly more uncomfortable than before. He knew what was coming. “Oh,” he said.</p><p>“Yeah—oh,” Bobby repeated.</p><p>Eddie bit his lip and looked down. “My parents, are they—” he asked hesitantly. Bobby saw the pain in his eyes and— even if this guy was part of the Martian Army, he had still been stranded on a foreign moon for 7 years, alone with his thoughts and memories. Not knowing what had become of his family must have been torture.</p><p>“Your parents are fine,” Bobby replied, putting the man out of his misery. Eddie looked up again, relief clear in his eyes. “In fact, I even got to speak with an Isabel Diaz who seemed to be very put out that she hasn’t met her great-grandson yet.”</p><p>The relief on Eddie’s face now turned into a full-blown grin. “Abuela? She is still alive? Thank God. I was so worried about her.”</p><p>“Yes, your entire family is quite—vocal. I think one of your aunts may have threatened my Chief of Security when she refused to let her talk to you.” Bobby grinned as he remembered Athena’s unamused face when she told Bobby that the woman in question had called her a ‘piece of Federation scum’.</p><p>“Yeah, probably my tia Pepa. She is a real protective mother hen,” Eddie said, smiling softly at his aunt’s memory.</p><p>Bobby turned serious again. “I’m afraid that not all the news I have to share is good,” he said, looking Eddie straight in the eye. “I’m sorry to inform you that your nephew Raymundo Diaz died three years ago.”</p><p>Eddie looked shocked. “Little Ray? God no, my sister must have been devastated. He was only—” he paused for a second as he tried to remember the boy’s exact age, “—thirteen. What happened?”</p><p>Bobby took a deep breath before breaking the news. “He caught a bullet meant for your father.”</p><p>Eddie’s face paled at that news. He closed his eyes and swallowed heavily. He pushed his lips tightly together as his eyes filled with tears. “I should have known,” he said. He shook his head. “I have always told my father that one day something would happen to one of his own— someone from the family. But he wouldn’t listen. He never did.” Eddie chuckled derisively. “Hell, it was the reason I left in the first place. I didn’t want to subject Shannon or any of our future children to a life of violence.” He briefly covered his eyes with his palms. “And look what happened. Little Ray. My sister used to call him her ‘little Ray of sunshine’ and it just stuck. He was just a kid.” He looked up again. “I told him. I swear I did Captain. But he wouldn’t listen.”</p><p>“I believe you,” Bobby said. Eddie’s eyes spoke volumes. The man didn’t have a lying bone in his body.</p><p>“You know about my family. Right?” Eddie finally asked.</p><p>“That they are basically the core of the Martian Army?” Bobby confirmed. “Yeah, I know. Lieutenant Grant-Nash did some digging and what she came up with wasn’t pretty.” He added.</p><p>“Pretty?” Eddie let out a loud laugh. “That’s an understatement. You know— I— I was supposed to follow in his footsteps all the way, but—”</p><p>“You left?”</p><p>“Yeah, when I met Shannon— for the first time I felt like there was more to life than honour and duty. So, when we got married, I told my dad that I wanted out. He tried to talk me out of it— they both did actually. In some ways my mother’s an even bigger follower than my dad. But I stood by my decision and in the end they put all the blame on Shannon, as if it was her fault and her fault alone that I had deviated from the chosen path. After a while it got to be too much and we decided to just up and leave. We never even said goodbye.”</p><p>“I bet your parents weren’t happy with that,” Bobby guessed.</p><p>“No, they weren’t. For two years they totally ignored our very existence. But when Shannon fell pregnant, they seemed to soften up a little. No doubt my abuela and tia’s positive influence. They were always much more progressive than my parents. They believed that everyone should have the choice to decide their own fate. When we realised that my parents were interested in meeting their grandchild, Shannon and I made plans to visit them on Mars as soon as Chris was born. In fact, we were on our way there when—”</p><p>“You crashed.” Bobby stated.</p><p>“Yeah.” Eddie looked haunted now. “It was my fault, you know,” he said. Bobby could hear the conviction in his voice and he immediately felt a connection to the man as he knew all too well how deep guilt could cut into a man’s soul. After he had lost his family he had been adrift and if Athena hadn’t been there—well— he probably wouldn’t be here talking to Eddie today.</p><p>“How was it your fault?” He gently inquired.</p><p>“We wanted to get back to Mars quickly, because I didn’t want to fly around in space for too long with a small baby. So, I was the one who suggested we cut through Ravàlian space. That way we could cut off two months of our journey. Shannon didn’t want to at first, but I persuaded her, telling her it would all be okay,” Eddie reminisced, agony distorting his face. “I told her she and Christopher would be safe. And look where it lead us—she is dead and buried on that moon somewhere and my son— “</p><p>“Blaming yourself for these things never helps,” Bobby said, “Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.”</p><p>Eddie looked up at that, seeing the recognition and understanding in Bobby’s eyes.</p><p>“Did you—“ he started.</p><p>“I don’t like to talk about it.” Bobby cut off the question.</p><p>Eddie nodded. “Of course. I understand. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—” He trailed off.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Bobby waved it away. “The point is that there is always enough blame to pass around, but it’s a useless emotion that only stops you from doing the things you need to do. In your case, you have a wonderful son. Don’t let blame consume you to the point where you forget about him.”</p><p>“I could never forget about him,” Eddie stated with conviction. “Chris always comes first.”</p><p>“Good,” Bobby replied. “One last thing— your family was very adamant that we should bring you and Christopher back to Mars. I told them that I would enquire with you first. Do you want to go back?”</p><p>Eddie seemed lost in thoughts. “Yeah?” he finally said. “I mean, we don’t really have anywhere else to go. We sold our house back on Mara IV when we decided to go back to Mars. The idea was to stay on Mars for a while and then move on to one of the colonies on Bajor.”</p><p>“Why Bajor?” Bobby asked.</p><p>“It just seemed like such a beautiful planet. A friend of ours worked on Deep Space Nine for a few years and he always told such wonderful stories about the planet. It made us curious and we decided that we wanted to check it out,” Eddie explained. “But now—everything is different. After all these years on our own, Chris could use some stability and a family to ground himself. It’s the best for him to go back to Mars.”</p><p>“And for you?” Bobby asked.</p><p>Eddie smiled wryly. “When do parents’ feelings ever outweigh the needs of their children?”</p><p>“True,” Bobby said. He could respect that. “I won’t be able to drop you off on Mars immediately. It is a long way from here and we do have a job to do. But as soon as we are recalled to Earth for maintenance and debriefing, we’ll make a little detour to Mars.”</p><p>Eddie nodded with appreciation. “Thank you Sir.”</p><p>“Oh—do <em>you</em> want to tell your family the news of your return or should I?” Bobby asked.</p><p>Eddie looked a little taken aback. “Could you—” he started. Bobby recognised apprehension when he saw it. “I’ll do it.” He quickly interrupted Eddie. “You just take all the time you need to settle in.”</p><p>“Thank you Sir.” Eddie sighed deeply. He looked relieved. “I’m just not ready to talk to them yet.”</p><p>“I understand. I’ve been where you are,” Bobby acknowledged. “Sometimes all we need is a little extra time to sort out our life and all the good <em>and</em> bad that comes with that.” Eddie nodded in understanding.</p><p> “Well,” Bobby added, “I’m glad we had this conversation.” He stood up and slowly made his way over to the door. Once there he paused for a moment to look back at Eddie. “I’ll leave you to it now. Go be with your son.” His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he briefly recalled how he once used to spend time with his own son as well—so long ago.</p><p>“Sir?” Eddie enquired softly. He had obviously sensed the change in the Captain’s mood.</p><p>Bobby sighed deeply. “Never mind,” he said. “I guess the only thing left to say is—welcome aboard Mister Diaz. I hope your time here will be a good one.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Eddie said. His attention had already wandered off into the direction of the lab, his son’s voice drifting through the open doors. As if on cue Buck and Christopher stepped back into sickbay, swiftly followed by Hen.</p><p>Bobby smiled at Christopher and crouched down to his level. “Christopher, are you ready to show your dad around in your new home?”</p><p>Christopher beamed back at him. “Yes Sir. I c—c—can’t wait to show him all the cool things on board.”</p><p>Bobby grinned at that. “Well, can’t argue with you there. This is a pretty cool ship. Between you and me?” He said, looking around suspiciously as if he was ready to share the biggest secret in the universe with the boy and he didn’t want anyone to overhear, “I think that this is far out <em>the</em> coolest starship ever created by Starfleet.” Christopher nodded at him in full agreement.</p><p>Bobby then looked up at Buck. “Buck, if you can find a spare minute this afternoon, pop into my ready room. I’ve read your report on the current reaction time of the shuttlecrafts and I agree that it just isn’t sufficient. I want you to walk me through some possible solutions.”</p><p>“Aye Sir,” Buck said. “I’ll be there.”</p><p>“Good, then I’ll leave you boys to it,” he said as he quickly stood up. “Hen,” he greeted, before swiftly leaving sickbay.</p><p>As Bobby made his way back to the bridge he couldn’t help but worry. After their conversation there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Eddie spoke the truth and that he really only wanted the best for his son. But Bobby also knew that the influence of a person’s family couldn’t be underestimated. He fully realised how the heavy burden of having a problematic family could affect a person. He just hoped that Eddie wouldn’t forget that the love for his son far outweighed his loyalty to a family that had abandoned them years ago.</p><p>---</p><p>“Dad?”</p><p>“Hmmmm—” Eddie looked up from the book he was reading. His son was sitting on the ground, playing with his Legos. For some reason Christopher loved those little plastic bricks. They were remnants of a faraway past, but as soon as Buck had introduced his son to the toys, Chris had fallen in love with them. He was currently working on some kind of space ship. Eddie had made some vague noises of praise and he had thrown in a compliment here and there to encourage Christopher’s progress. But honestly? The big blue and orange blob didn’t even remotely resemble a spaceship, but hey— at least the effort was there.</p><p>“Do you think we can visit Buck today?” Chris asked. He looked straight at Eddie, his big beautiful eyes all wide and innocent. A look he had definitely perfected throughout the years in order to get what he wanted from his father. And yes—it worked every single time. Eddie could admit to it. He was a pushover.</p><p>He wasn’t surprised that his son asked him to visit Buck. In fact, as soon as Eddie had moved in with Christopher, effectively taking up the space Buck had been occupying for weeks when he was in a coma, his son had continuously asked for Buck. The man had obviously made quite an impression on his son and -as Chris was quick to remind him- he now counted the Chief as his first official friend ever. Which was quite a big deal for him since he hadn’t had the opportunity to have a friend before.</p><p>Still—Eddie really wished that he had formed such a connection with an actual child, like Denny or Harry, not a twenty-something engineer, who still acted like a kid sometimes but decidedly wasn’t one. But Eddie couldn’t keep his son from his first friend anymore than he could keep Buck from seeing Chris. It was obvious the bond that existed between them went both ways.</p><p>So they had seen a lot of Buck the last couple of weeks. They had met up with him in Engineering or sometimes in his quarters. They had gone on great adventures on the holodeck and Buck often came over to play old-fashioned videogames with them in the evening. The man really did seem to enjoy his son’s company, but Eddie couldn’t help but worry for the moment when Buck would get bored. Eddie was sure that a single guy in his twenties had better things to do than hang around with a father and his eight year old son. Sooner or later Buck would find someone else to spend his time with and things would change. He had no idea how Chris would react to that.</p><p>Eddie would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy Buck’s company at all. He was a really great and easy-going guy and they got on really well. In fact, they had become fast friends pretty quickly. Often, when Chris was asleep Buck would stay over and they’d have long conversations about their lives before the 118. Eddie had told him stories about growing up on Mars and the burden it was to being the sole male heir of the Diaz family. He still couldn’t quite believe that he had actually told Buck about his family and their role in the Martian Army. Not even Shannon had known the complete truth of his life within the first six months of their relationship. And Buck was just a friend.</p><p>In turn Buck talked a lot about his first year on board of the 118 and how he had looked for acceptance and affection in all the wrong places. Eventually the Captain had given him the wake-up call he so desperately needed and when he had met Abby he became someone else, someone he referred to as Buck 2.0. Buck talked about everything. He wasn’t afraid to bare his emotions and analyse them to become a better person. Eddie had to get used to that at first, since he was quite the opposite when it came to talking about his feelings to family and friends.</p><p>The only topic Buck never discussed were his parents. Eddie thought that was a little strange, but since it wasn’t his business he just never asked. He could only assume that Buck’s childhood hadn’t been the best.</p><p>Not that his own childhood was a walk in the park. He still got nightmares from some of the things the Army put him through. But he wasn’t afraid to talk about those things anymore. At least not to a professional. He had to be better than his parents for Christopher’s sake and if being on his own for all those years had made him realise anything— it was that talking to a counsellor about his nightmares and fears was not a sign of weakness. In order to come to terms with his anxieties he had to open up about them. So, he had regular talks scheduled with Maddie. Mainly to work through some of the guilt he had been carrying upon his shoulders for so long. He had to find a way to relieve his burden so he could be a better man and a better father.</p><p>The one thing he had been avoiding as the plague though, was making <em>that</em> call to his parents. It would mean that he would actually have to talk and interact with them. It had been a month and he still hadn’t made any sort of move to contact them. They knew he was alive from the Captain’s earlier communication, but so far Eddie just hadn’t had the inclination to contact them. Talking to them brought along a whole lot of emotions that he just wasn’t ready to deal with. He had always known that his parents didn’t approve of Shannon, but he had married her anyway. Now that she was gone, he imagined them celebrating that they could finally fold the prodigal son back into their arms.</p><p>A small part of him feared that they’d be right. He had been on his own for so long that even the thought of having his own screwed-up family back made him yearn to finally belong again. His parents weren’t bad people, they just happened to be part of an extremist private army that liked to raise their children into killers or ‘warriors for the common good’ as they referred to it. Any which way they put it, it was still wrong to raise a child in that environment and now he was heading right back to them with his own son in tow and he wasn’t sure if that was the wisest decision.</p><p>Maddie had told him that it was perfectly fine that he didn’t want to talk to his family and that he should first take time to adjust to being around people again. Anything else could wait.</p><p>“Dad?” His son’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Christopher was looking at him expectantly, smiling his best smile while waiting for an answer. Yeah—there was no way he was going to say no to that smile.</p><p>“Sure buddy,” he said. Before Christopher could reply, he added, “but only if it’s okay with Buck. The man is the Chief of Engineering. He has a lot of work to do.”</p><p>“Okay dad.” Christopher was still smiling. Eddie suspected that he knew that Buck would never say no to him either.</p><p>He still wanted to ask though, so he tapped his comm badge.</p><p>“Eddie to Chief Buckley.” He waited a beat for Buck to respond. “Buck here,” the man replied.</p><p>“Hey Buck, is it okay for Christopher to visit you in Engineering sometime today?” He asked.</p><p>“Yeah sure.” The answer came right away. “Come by this afternoon. I’ll make some time.”</p><p>“I mean, it’s okay to say <em>no</em> Buck,” Eddie said, feeling guilty for taking up the Chief’s precious time. “Christopher will understand.” He looked at Christopher who was already pouting. Eddie smiled at him reassuringly.</p><p>“No no, you tell him that I always make time for my favourite Diaz. After all, we’re buddies— me and him.”</p><p>Christopher beamed at Eddie. He grinned back at him. “Okay then, we’ll be there sometime this afternoon.”</p><p>“Great, see you then,” Buck said and he broke communication.</p><p>“Happy now?” Eddie asked his son. The answer was a resounding “YES!”</p><p>---</p><p>“Okay, so make sure that you check every conduit. It’s possible there’s another leak somewhere that we haven’t detected yet. I don’t have to tell you guys how serious that would be. So be thorough.”</p><p>Buck got a resounding “Aye Chief” from his staff before they dispersed and went to their assigned post to check on the power conduits. He felt tense. Last night, just when he had returned from a rescue mission on a Ferengi transport ship, the warp core started acting up. It was losing power, but it wasn’t clear where the leak was. So Buck had his staff control every single power conduit on board of the ship. In the end the leak had been located behind the bulkhead of a storage room on deck 5. He had sent the night staff off to get some sleep while the morning staff had trickled in. Buck being the Chief meant that there was no sleep for him any time soon. Not until they had checked and rechecked every single power conduit on board to make sure that the leak was an anomaly. The ship couldn’t afford to lose power. It would do them no good to be stranded in the middle of the Beta quadrant. They would be like a sitting duck out here.</p><p>He could tell it was going to be a gruelling long day.</p><p>For the last month, as he had to adapt to living alone once again, he had felt more lonely than ever before. Mainly because <em>before</em> he didn’t know how great it was to take care of someone you loved. It was like something inside of him had unlocked and all these emotions he didn’t know were there tumbled out. Living with Chris had given him a taste of what it truly meant to have a family. Something he had never experienced for himself.</p><p>Growing up, his parents had never really shown any real care for him. They had given him all the material things he had wanted, but they had neglected to give him what he actually needed, which was their affection and love. Maddie was quite a few years older than him and she used to be the only one who listened to him. But then she had gotten married and left. After she left, Buck had been so angry with her. How could she do that to him?</p><p>Knowing what he knew now though, he feels guilty for ever feeling like that. Her life with Doug was horrible and he was the reason why she never bothered to contact Buck again. But young Buck hadn’t known that, so when Maddie abandoned him with his unloving parents, he just retreated into himself. He became angry at everything and everyone and never made any real connections to anyone. After all, getting close to people meant losing them in the end. That was a lesson he had eventually learnt over and over again.</p><p>After his mother died in a shuttle accident, his father -drunk off his ass as usual- just rounded him and his stuff up one day and dumped him on Calorra 7, a colony that housed a spiritual commune. They were known for taking in strays and runaways from all quadrants. His father didn’t want to deal with him anymore, so he had decided that the commune was the best place for him, without consulting Buck of course. The man hadn’t even turned around after a quick—</p><p>“Goodbye Evan. Have a good life and don’t try to embarrass the family name too much.”</p><p>Buck hadn’t even tried to put up any protest. He knew that his father wasn’t going to turn around anyway. The man was incapable of remorse or love. He had never loved Buck in the first place. Buck was only 11.</p><p>The commune had been a quiet place. The monks took care of all his physical needs. They fed him and provided him with clothes and a solid education. But there wasn’t any place for emotions. The monks demanded discipline and obedience. For years he put up with their regime, becoming more and more depressed every single day. Until he was 18 and old enough to make his own way to Earth to attend Starfleet Academy. For Buck—that was the moment his life truly began.</p><p>He dove into the student life with wild abandon and no sense of self-regard whatsoever. He was always surrounded by a throng of people who wanted things from him. Safe to say that he had gone off the rails for a while as he lost himself in partying and meaningless sex that made him feel bad afterwards.</p><p>Pretty soon he was known on campus as the guy who never said <em>no</em> to any kind of sexual proposition—man, woman, non-binary— it didn’t matter, he slept with all of them. He had been very careful to keep up with his studies though, because he really wanted to get that diploma. It would be the ticket to a better life and he desperately wanted that. What he hadn’t counted on however was that his reputation would precede him.</p><p>So, when he finally graduated -top of his class of course- and started applying for jobs on some of the best starships out there, it turned out that nobody wanted him. His reputation of being an unreliable player had made him unhirable and pretty soon he found himself working in the engineering room of a duranium mine on a small moon in the middle of nowhere somewhere in the Alpha Quadrant. Not exactly what he had expected after graduating with top honours. The most frustrating part was that most of his fellow students had found positions on board of the best and biggest starships. One of his best friends worked on the Enterprise, while he was stuck on that stupid rock.</p><p>The tide had finally turned for him when, after working on the moon for 2 years, an explosion had taken out one of the 4 towers, effectively burying over 20 miners deep underground. Buck had done some of his most innovating thinking and had lead a daring rescue. By the time a Federation rescue ship had arrived, he had found a way to not only supply the workers with oxygen, but also to get those men out of there in one piece. Captain Nash of the SF-118 had been impressed by his—what he had called ‘out of the box thinking’ and had offered him a job as transport engineer on his ship. Buck had simply gathered all his belongings and didn’t look back once.</p><p>Life on board of the 118 was wonderful. Buck had loved his job as transport engineer so much and there were so many interesting people aboard as well. He had tried to adapt, but got into trouble pretty soon by one of his promiscuous escapades. While he loved his job, he hadn’t been able to get rid of his lifestyle. He still slept with everyone who was interested and that got him in trouble eventually. After some official warnings from the Captain he had really screwed up by stealing a ship for a date with an important Admiral’s son. The Captain had released him of duty after that incident. If it hadn’t been for Athena— well, let’s just say he owes her everything. Without her he would have certainly lost his job and then where would he be? He was forever indebted with her.</p><p>He rubbed his face again. No use in taking a walk down memory lane when there was a job to do. Maybe he could use some rest? He was just debating lying down for a minute to take a short nap when his comm badge chimed.</p><p>“Maddie to Evan Buckley.” Buck smiled, his mood instantly improved. His sister’s voice never failed to make him feel better. After being angry with her for so many years, it had been so refreshing the last couple of years to be able to get back into sync with her— to love her fully again.</p><p>“Hey Buck. Are you free tomorrow tonight?” Maddie cut right to the chase.</p><p>“Well, barring that all the conduit problems have been solved by tonight and if I’ve been able to get at least 8 hours of sleep, yes—yes, I am.”</p><p>“Good. Come to dinner. I was talking to Howie. As you know he is my main source when it comes to all things Evan Buckley. He told me that you’ve had a rough night. So come to dinner tomorrow night to unwind a little. Okay?”</p><p>Buck smiled. That was his sister. Always looking out for him. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be able to make it around 7. Is that okay?”</p><p>“Perfect,” Maddie replied, “I’ll even make your favourite.”</p><p>“Ooh, grandma’s mac and cheese? Man, it’s been a while since I had that,” Buck said, his stomach protesting loudly to remind him he hadn’t really eaten anything substantial since breakfast the day before.</p><p>“That’s exactly why I’m making it,” Maddie said happily.</p><p>“Thanks Mads,” Buck said, grinning into thin air.</p><p>“You’re welcome, brother of mine. See you then.”</p><p>“Yep, see ya.”</p><p>Just like that, Buck’s day had become a little better. Between Maddie inviting him for dinner and Christopher coming for a visit in the afternoon, his mood improved considerably. Not to mention that Eddie would be there as well, accompanying Chris. The last couple of weeks Buck had spent more and more time with the man. He liked him a lot. Eddie was pragmatic, straight to the point and funny as hell when he used that very dry tone of his to make a joke. Their evenings together had forged a strong bond of friendship that he cherished.</p><p>Now, Buck had a lot of great friends on board of the ship, but he’d never had a friend like Eddie. It was like he had known the man for years. Eddie had slid into the slot of <em>best friend</em> so easily that it had taken Buck by surprise when he had realised that. He was the first person on board of the ship that knew a few things about his past that no one else knew, simply because he had told him. That was monumental. Buck didn’t normally like to talk about some of the more crazy and embarrassing things he had done when he was younger, but he had no problem telling them to Eddie for some reason. He hadn’t told him the stuff about his dad though. Only Maddie knew about that.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie and Christopher were on their way to Engineering when Eddie’s comm badge chimed.</p><p>“Hen to Eddie Diaz.”</p><p>“Hey Hen,” Eddie greeted.</p><p>“Eddie hi. Listen, I’ve been doing some research on that-- <em>thing</em> you asked me about and I’ve got some answers for you. Do you have some time to spare? Can you come to sickbay?”</p><p>“Ah well, I was just taking Christopher for a visit with Buck. I’ll drop him off and I’ll meet you in 20 minutes. Is that okay?”</p><p>“That’s fine. See you then,” Hen replied and signed off.</p><p>“What did you ask her daddy?” Christopher asked. Eddie looked at him. “Just something about the headaches I’ve been having lately. Nothing bad, but the Doctor was looking at a couple of solutions to get rid of them.”</p><p>Christopher frowned. “I didn’t know that you had headaches.”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t want to worry you,” Eddie said. “It’s no big deal. Hen already did some tests and it’s just a mild headache left over from the fall.”</p><p>Christopher’s troubled eyes cleared up a little. “O-okay,” he said, obviously not completely convinced yet.</p><p>“Chris, hold on for a minute,” Eddie said, stopping his son in the middle of the corridor. He crouched down so he could look him in the eye. “I promise you that I am fine, okay? If I were ever <em>not</em> fine, you would be the first one to know.”</p><p>Christopher looked relieved. This time he seemed satisfied with the answer. “Okay, can we go now? Buck is waiting for us.”</p><p>Eddie laughed out loud. “Yeah, let’s go.”</p><p>Two minutes later they finally entered Engineering. The place was teeming with people bustling about. Buck was at the far end talking to some of his ensigns. One of them had noticed Eddie and Christopher walk in. She gestured in their direction and said something to Buck. He turned and, immediately a big smile bloomed on his face. He always seemed so genuinely happy to see them. Well— happy to see Christopher at least. It was humbling that someone cared so much about his son. It made Eddie feel things that he couldn’t name. He always felt overwhelmed whenever he was in Buck’s vicinity. He thought it was because he’d never had a friend quite like Buck. Someone so open and honest, ready to share his every emotion about everything. Eddie wasn’t like that. He liked to keep his cards close to his vest when it came to his feelings, so Buck’s bubbly personality always threw him off a little.</p><p>“Hey! There is my favourite little man!” Buck shouted, swiftly striding over to them. He scooped Chris up for a hug. It caused his son to break out in giggles. Buck was pleased as his smile grew even bigger. He then looked at Eddie over Chris’s shoulder. “Hey Eddie.”</p><p>“Buck,” Eddie replied, his voice a little scratchy. He stared at them for a moment and couldn’t help but think that they made such a pretty picture together.</p><p>Buck’s smile dimmed and he frowned. “Are you okay?” he asked.</p><p>Eddie tried to get it together. “Yeah—yeah, I’m fine.”</p><p>“Okay,” Buck replied. His eyes spoke volumes. He clearly wasn’t fooled. He finally let go of Chris and crouched down. “Hey buddy, want to see something cool?” he asked. Chris’s enthusiasm was instant. “Yeah!”</p><p>“Okay then,” he said. He stood up and started looking around the room until—</p><p>“Hey Albert!” he called out. The ensign looked up from where he had been checking on the energy levels of the warp core. “Can you show Christopher the simulation we made of the inside of the warp core?”</p><p>“Yeah sure,” Albert replied, looking briefly from Buck to Eddie. He seemed curious. “Come on Chris, you’ll love this.”</p><p>Then suddenly Christopher was gone and Buck turned to him. “Talk to me,” Buck said seriously, looking straight at Eddie.</p><p>“What?” Eddie replied, a little embarrassed that Buck saw right through him.</p><p>“You’ve got something on your mind. I can tell. Experience has taught me that you won’t tell me what’s troubling you, unless I directly ask you about it.” He seemed determined to make Eddie talk.</p><p>Eddie looked away from his piercing eyes. He sighed. His first instinct was to shrug it all off, which was his go to move when it came to avoiding emotions and talking about them. He wanted to tell Buck that he was fine, but Maddie had told him that he had to start letting other people in, in order to fully heal from the inside out. It was so difficult though.</p><p>Years ago, Shannon’s biggest complaint had been that Eddie was like a clam whenever she asked him how he felt about something. Maddie said it was because, while growing up, Eddie had never had much chances to talk about his feelings. Especially not with a father who had raised his kids as if they were in the military. He still remembered when his abuelo had died. Eddie had just turned nine and he couldn’t stop crying at the funeral. Afterwards his father had pulled him aside and had spoken to him harshly--</p><p>“Emotions are for the weak Eddie. You are a Diaz. Act like it!”</p><p>After that he had locked his emotions far away, only showing the mere surface of what he felt. Shannon’s complaints never lead to him opening up to her completely. He just never could. A lifetime of conditioning could do that to you.</p><p>“Eddie?” Buck asked, pulling him back into the present.</p><p>Eddie finally managed to look at him. “I—I can’t—” He closed his eyes for a moment. He knew that sharing some of his worries with Buck wouldn’t kill him. It was just a matter of opening his mouth and let it spill out. He took a deep breath and—</p><p>“I asked Hen to look into Christopher’s disability and if there was anything she could do to cure him. She just called me to meet up with her. I’m supposed to go to sickbay in a couple of minutes.” The words had come out quick and a little breathy. Buck just looked at him. “That’s good, right?” He asked, confused by Eddie’s mixed emotions.</p><p>“Yeah it is, but I’m afraid for what her answer will be—” Eddie looked back at Buck and softly added, “I—I did this to him Buck.”</p><p>Buck immediately protested. “Eddie no, you can’t—”</p><p>“But I can—” Eddie interrupted him. His frustration built as he talked, “and I will. I am responsible for my son’s disability. That’s the burden I’ll have to bear for the rest of my days. Me! I was the one who decided it was such a great idea to travel through Ravàlian space. I killed my wife and permanently injured my son. Cold hard facts. Nothing else.”</p><p>“Eddie,” Buck said softly while he gently put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m not an expert here— just the brother of one. But even I know that sometimes things just happen without a reason. Yes, you set out into Ravàlian space, but you had no way of knowing that this was going to happen.”</p><p>“No, but it happened nonetheless, didn’t it?” Eddie said. He looked down at his shoulder and studied Buck’s hand closely. I gave him something to do while he waited for Buck to talk.</p><p>“Look, I can’t pretend that I know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I do know that you are a good man and an excellent father. What happened is in the past. All I can see now is a father who will do everything in his power to give his son the best life he can possibly have, <em>with</em> or <em>without</em> a disability,” he gently said. “No matter what Hen will tell you— It’ll be okay, because that little boy—” He pointed to Christopher who was still engrossed in whatever Albert was showing him. “—he has <em>you</em> and that’s really all he needs right now.”</p><p>Eddie looked up. “You think so?” He asked softly.</p><p>“I know so,” Buck replied. His words laced with nothing but certainty.</p><p>“Thanks Buck,” Eddie said. He managed a smile to show Buck that he truly appreciated his words.</p><p>“Don’t mention it man. We’ve all been there at some point.” Buck’s eyes grew cloudy for a second.</p><p>“Hey, if <em>you</em> ever need someone to listen, I’m here,” Eddie said, briefly touching Buck’s hand that was still clutching at his shoulder.</p><p>Buck didn’t speak as he studied Eddie’s face. Eddie felt his cheeks grow hot. He wasn’t used to being the focus point of someone’s intense scrutiny like this.</p><p>Buck finally spoke. “I know. Thank you.” He finally let go of Eddie’s shoulder and broke the strange tension between them. “Now go, Hen’s waiting. I’ll look after Chris.”</p><p>Eddie nodded. “Okay,” he said, before looking at Chris. “Chris!” His son looked up. “I’m going to sickbay now. Okay?”</p><p>“Okay dad,” he said, smiling at him before looking back at the console. God, he loved that boy so much. He looked back at Buck who smiled reassuringly at him.</p><p>“Okay, wish me luck,” he said.</p><p>Buck smiled. “You don’t need it, but okay, if it’ll make you feel better. Good luck.”</p><p>Eddie breathed in deeply, took one last look at Chris and stepped out the door.</p><p>---</p><p>Hen was in the middle of healing Lieutenant Bosko’s broken arm when Eddie walked into sickbay. She glanced at him.</p><p>“Just give me a sec Eddie. I’m almost done here,” she said. She focused back on her work. Bosko worked for security and was one of the most reckless crewmembers on the ship. Hen had to heal her at least once a week. “Can you just be more careful during practice next time?” she asked. The woman just smirked at her. “Can’t make any promises Doc.” She made a fist and flexed her biceps, obviously happy to be whole again. She stood up. “Thanks Doc.”</p><p>“Don’t mention it Lena. Just remember-- I don’t want to see you in here for the rest of the week.”</p><p>The lieutenant smirked at Hen, quickly nodded Eddie’s way and walked out of sickbay.</p><p>“Stupid,” Hen mumbled as she saw the woman go.</p><p>“Sorry?” Eddie said.</p><p>“Oh, not you. Bosko. She is always in here because she is a reckless idiot,” she scoffed. She focused on Eddie. “But I digress, you are here for more important matters.”</p><p>He scrubbed his hands through his hair. Hen noticed that he looked tired, as if he hadn’t been sleeping too well. “Yeah,” he said. He finally pulled himself together and looked at her. “I’m ready to hear whatever you have to tell me,” he added.</p><p>Hen was surprised. She had figured this was a pretty tough subject for him and she was aware that a lot hinged on her answer to his inquiry.</p><p>“You seem calmer than before.” She remembered the way he had slunk into sickbay a couple of days earlier, looking shifty and almost panicky as he asked about Christopher’s disability.</p><p>“Yeah, well—I talked to—someone and I feel better now.”</p><p>“You talked to someone?” Hen raised her eyebrows in disbelief. She hadn’t known Eddie for that long, but one thing she did know is that the man was insanely private when it came to his feelings.</p><p>“Yeah, and he—well, he put some things into perspective.”</p><p>Hen wondered who he had talked to, since he seemed to spent almost all of his time with—oh—</p><p>“Hold on,” Hen said. “Buck?”</p><p>Eddie’s cheeks reddened. “Y—yeah.”</p><p>Hen smirked at that. She was sure there was a story there, but it really wasn’t any of her business.</p><p>“Okay, well,” she said, “I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?”</p><p>Eddie took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “The bad news please,” he said.</p><p>“There is no way to sugar-coat this, but I can’t fully heal Christopher. The vertebrae are completely fused together in some places. Since they are riddled with nerves, operating there is just too high of a risk. He could lose feeling in parts of his body and worst case scenario, he could end up paralysed from the waist down. At least now he can still walk.”</p><p>Eddie had closed his eyes as soon as Hen started talking. His lips were tightly pursed together, as if he was trying to stop himself from crying.</p><p>“But?” he finally said, his voice all raspy and brittle.</p><p>“But what?” She asked. Eddie elaborated. “You said there is good news as well. So, I assume that your first story has a <em>but</em> attached to it?”</p><p>Hen smiled. “Yeah, it does actually. I’ve done a lot of research and I’ve talked to the best surgeons out there. They all agree that it isn’t possible to completely straighten the spine and realign the vertebrae, but—there are some vertebrae that are not as heavily fused together as the others, which might allow us to operate on them to align them properly. At least, it would give Christopher some heightened mobility.”</p><p>Eddie stared at her. He clearly hadn’t expected that news. “And the nerve damage?” He asked.</p><p>“Most of the nerves I talked about earlier can be found in the vertebrae that are too fused together to separate, but the ones that can be separated don’t have that many nerves running through them. We should be able to operate without damaging them.”</p><p>Suddenly Eddie’s face contorted as he tried to hold in his emotions, but it was of no use. A moment later he had to let go and the tears rolled down his cheeks. “He could walk without crutches?” He asked in between sobs.</p><p>“Most likely? Yes,” Hen replied gently. She teared up a little at seeing the wonderful smile that bloomed on Eddie’s face. It was quite a sight to behold.</p><p>“Thank you,” he finally said.</p><p>“You’re welcome, but you know—I’m a doctor. It’s my job to cure people,” she replied. “I’ll leave it to you to talk to Christopher to see if this is really what he wants. If the answer is affirmative, we’ll start with taking some more scans so we can prepare the procedure in detail. I’m not going to lie, this could take some time. I’m nothing if not thorough,” Hen warned.</p><p>“That’s okay. We have time,” Eddie replied. He had managed to pull himself somewhat together. He pointed to the door. “I’d better go back to Engineering to pick up Christopher. Buck is probably wondering where I am.”</p><p>“Oh,” Hen said, “I’m sure that Buck’s just fine with Christopher there. He worships the ground that boy walks on.” She grinned.</p><p>“Yeah, he does. Doesn’t he?” Eddie said. He looked at the ground for a moment, as if he was contemplating something. Then he focused his attention back on Hen and took a step in her direction. He stopped and hesitated for a second as if he wasn’t completely sure about something.</p><p>“What?” She said, a little puzzled.</p><p>His eyes had a determined glint in them as he finally walked up to her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. He pulled back, grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes. Hen stopped breathing. “Again, thank you so much,” he said gratefully.</p><p>Hen let out a shaky breath and smiled softly. “Again, you’re welcome.”</p><p>He nodded at her before releasing her hands. Then he turned and swiftly walked out of sickbay.</p><p>“Well, I’ll be—” Hen said out loud to the empty sickbay. She used her hands to fan herself. Now, Hen liked girls— Hell, she was married to one. But she couldn’t deny that Eddie surely was a fine specimen of a man. He had gorgeous eyes. No wonder Buck seemed so taken with him. Not that he realised that of course. Buck could be as blind as a bat sometimes. She also wasn’t quite sure if Eddie admired Buck as much as Buck admired him. Eddie was a lot harder to read. But—in the words of her wise wife when she had briefly talked about it last night.</p><p>“It’s none of our business Hen. Don’t start mingling where you shouldn’t. They’re friends now, which is more than enough. If it’s meant to be more than that, it’ll happen.”</p><p>But she couldn’t help but wonder where this was going to end. If it would ever even begin in the first place.</p><p>---</p><p>Albert was amused. The Chief and Christopher were currently engaged in an intense tickle fight and it was quite a sight to behold. “Buck stop!” Christopher was lying on the floor, giggling like only he could. Buck was tickling him mercilessly. “Depends,” the Chief said as he stopped, “Do you yield?”</p><p>“Buck—” Chris started.</p><p>But Buck wanted none of that, so he resumed the tickling. Christopher eventually gave in.</p><p>“Okay, I yield! I yield!”</p><p>“Good,” Buck said, picking up the boy and putting him on his feet. Albert quickly came closer to hand him the crutches he had so carelessly thrown on the floor when Buck had come after him for the tickle fight.</p><p>It was curious how Buck and the boy had bonded in such a short time. Albert had always known that his boss had a big heart for kids, but this was different. He had had the opportunity to observe their relationship from the very beginning, when Buck had brought the frightened boy to Engineering for the first time. It had been a ploy to distract the kid from thinking too much about his father who had been lying unconscious in sickbay at the time. Right away there had been something about the quick and easy bond they shared that had surprised him.</p><p>When Albert had first come aboard the 118, on a recommendation of his brother, aka <em>the</em> <em>First Officer</em>, he had had a hard time fitting in. Some crewmembers resented him for getting in so easily and accused his brother of favouritism. Which wasn’t true at all. Albert had fought hard and long to get a post on the same starship as his brother. After having lost his mother and father he just wanted to be closer to Howie. It had taken some time, but eventually he had clocked in enough hours on other ships for him to send in the forms to ask for a transfer to the 118, and his request had been granted by Captain Nash himself.</p><p>But a lot of other crewmembers didn’t see it like that and they had tried to make his life quite difficult ever since he had started his duty in Engineering. As soon as the Chief had caught wind of this though, he had nipped all the teasing and bullying in the bud. He had basically given an ultimatum that if anyone wanted to be disrespectful to Albert or anyone else in Engineering, they were welcome to find a job on another starship. None of them had spoken up of course and eventually they had thawed as they got to know Albert better and realised that he was just as clever as they were and certainly competent enough to be in Engineering.</p><p>So, yes—he knew that Buck had a big heart. But what he felt for Christopher couldn’t be defined with words. It was all there in his eyes whenever he looked at the boy.</p><p>The doors of the Engine Room opened and in walked Eddie Diaz. And that was a whole other can of worms right there. As soon as Eddie came into a room, Buck perked up like a dog seeing its owner. It was almost as if he was attuned to Eddie’s presence. The look in Buck’s eyes could only be described as fondness. He knew that Buck considered him and Eddie to be really good friends, but Albert wasn’t so sure about that. The way Buck looked at the man sometimes, as if he had hung the moon himself, made Albert wonder if it wasn’t more than that.</p><p>Albert watched on as Eddie approached Buck and Christopher. He smiled at his son. The man literally had hearts in his eyes whenever he looked at his boy. It was an incredible sight to behold for Albert. He had grown up with a father that loved him, but never showed any kind of affection. Eddie however— he went all out with his affection. It was clear that his son meant everything to him. Albert didn’t know him all that well, but he seemed to be a very reserved man, except when it came to Christopher.</p><p>And the most interesting thing was that, up until a week ago, Eddie had <em>only</em> smiled at Christopher with that particular fondness in his eyes. But lately Albert had noticed that the look didn’t disappear anymore whenever he looked at Buck. It was clear that the man had come to care about the Chief very much.</p><p>As a friend cares about another friend?</p><p>Maybe—</p><p>Then again—</p><p>Maybe not.</p><p>Neither Buck or Eddie seemed to be very good with words that actually mattered, so Albert expected this particular soap opera to go on for quite some time before the men realised that there might be something more to their friendship— if there was even anything at all there in the first place. He really couldn’t know for sure. It was just a gut feeling.</p><p>But well— if anything, Albert was a very patient man. He wasn’t opposed to breaking out the popcorn and settling down for the long haul. After all, a good scientist always needed empirical data in order to prove a theory.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to know when I update.</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter. If you did, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on this story. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Reluctant Hero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Buck, welcome to the Christopher Diaz fan club. A small warning—once you’re in, it’s for life— there’s no way out.” The sound of his laughter sounded more beautiful than music to Buck’s ears. He was relieved to see his friend so carefree. He had been afraid that this morning’s experience would have affected Eddie’s mood in a negative way as he had been getting progressively more depressed ever since Christopher had started school.</p><p>“Well, that sounds great. Where do I sign up?” Buck replied happily.</p><p>Eddie stopped laughing abruptly and stared at Buck in wonderment. Buck’s face heated up. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that, but he wasn’t lying. He would gladly sign up to take care of this boy for the rest of his days. Eddie deserved to know that.</p><p>AKA The plot thickens as an unexpected threat disrupts life aboard the 118. Who is responsible? Eddie does a reckless and selfless thing and feels good about it. The crew of the 118 shed some light on their pasts as they figure out some important stuff about Buck and Eddie. And Buck? He is just really confused about a lot of things-- until he isn't anymore.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I invented a new kind of gas for this story-- well, a new name for a gas anyway. So, don't go Googling for its properties. You won't find it, since it doesn't really exist.</p><p>When you see that I wrote Howie in one sentence and Chimney in another, or Evan in once sentence and Buck in another, or Captain in one sentence and Bobby in another, that is not a mistake. I did this on purpose since it's a very human thing to use nicknames or titles once in a while, but to reach back to real names if someone is close to you. So yeah-- just my take on this. Go with it. :)</p><p>In this story you'll also find healthy doses of Madney, Henren and Bathena. (Did I get the shipnames right?) I just never understood how to write long chaptered stories without including all the other characters. They are an integral part of the show. They help shape Buck and Eddie's relationship, so it's only natural that they show up and speak up.</p><p>The main relationship this story is built upon is Buddie though, with a healthy dose of Christopher sprinkled into the mix. He is sooo important to these men.</p><p>When Maddie speaks she reveals some of the abuse she suffered when she was married to Doug. So be aware of that. It's only a paragraph or two, so it's easy to skip.</p><p>This is technically a WIP, but the whole story is outlined so I know where I'm going with this. I update regularly, so don't be afraid to dive in. Now, I have been scarred before by reading an abandoned WIP. So I get it. I know how it feels. But I promise I won't let you down on this one. It will be finished. ;)</p><p>This chapter is longer than the others. For some reason I just kept on writing until I had up to about twenty-five pages of text. So enjoy. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maddie was having a great time. She and Howie were in their quarters, having a little impromptu get together with Buck, Eddie and Christopher. Eddie and Christopher had been aboard for 3 whole months now and she had felt like that could use a little celebration. After one of their weekly sessions, she had invited Eddie and Chris for dinner.</p><p>As for Buck? Maddie had found it very difficult lately, if not <em>impossible</em>, to invite one without the other automatically tagging along. She didn’t mind though. She loved that her brother had finally let someone back into his life like that. He could use a good trustworthy friend like Eddie. And the fact that Eddie came with the addition of a wonderful son that Buck just seemed to adore? Well— even better. Evan had grown up to be an exceptional man, but there were times when he exuded a high level of— almost childlike kinetic energy and spending time with Chris was a perfect way to let out some of that excess energy.</p><p>At the moment though, Buck looked anything but happy. In fact, he looked a little purple in the face and Maddie was well aware that she was the only one to blame for his current state of agitation. They had been talking about some of the dumb things they had done as kids when she had suddenly remembered a great story about Buck. One that had happened after he had just arrived at the 118. Well, it was a great story to her, but definitely an embarrassing tale for Buck. But aaah— good old sisterly teasing was the best.</p><p>“No, seriously Maddie. You are not allowed to tell that story!” Buck looked mortified. She had just been about to tell the story of how Buck had once ended up roaming the corridors of the 118, completely naked after the Klingon noble woman he had wanted to seduce had deemed him unworthy to mate with.</p><p>Chim sat next to her, smiling like an idiot. He knew the story very well, but he wasn’t about to ruin Maddie’s glee. And that right there was why Howard Han was the best man in the universe. He never took away her words and her freedom to use them, which was exactly the opposite of what Doug had done when they had been married.</p><p>These days, she didn’t like to think about her ex-husband anymore, because of the total humiliation that always filled her when she remembered the horrible way he had treated her— and how she had let him reduce her to a shadow of the woman she used to be. Rationally she knew that she was the victim in this situation, but still— sometimes it was hard to believe what she had turned into at the end of her marriage.</p><p>It was almost as if she had been a child to him. A child he could control and discipline. For years Doug acted as if Maddie was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Well— to the outside world at least. Behind closed doors however—that was a different story altogether. She remembered the endless beatings that never seemed to stop and how she had found increasingly creative ways of hiding the bruises from her co-workers at the time. She hadn’t had any friends, because Doug had managed to completely isolate her from everyone who cared about her, even her own brother.</p><p>Buck had only been a boy when she had left to get married. She had never planned on breaking off contact with him, but in the end Doug had even taken <em>that</em> from her. As a result Buck had felt abandoned. When their mother died—something she only found out about years later, their father had dumped Evan in a commune so he could go off on his own—no doubt to drink himself to death.</p><p>She had never stopped feeling guilty over that. If she had been there, she could have stopped dad and she could have taken care of Buck herself. Instead she was locked in the walk-in closet of her house after another beating, nursing her wounds, hoping that Doug would let her out in time so she wouldn’t have to wet herself. It almost seemed that Buckleys weren’t meant to find happiness.</p><p>And for the longest time she had firmly believed that, but then her luck changed as she ended up at the 118, where she found Buck again and most importantly, where she found new love with one of the best men she had ever met in her life. Happiness was out there and all she wanted was for Buck to find it as well.</p><p>For a while there she had been very worried about Evan, especially right after Abby had left. But lately, she had seen some signs that have given her tentative hope that Buck is well on his way to becoming whole again. Eddie seemed to have such a wonderful and positive influence on her brother. Whenever Evan was around Eddie and Chris, he genuinely seemed happier. She hoped that Eddie’s friendship could lead her brother to trust people again. After Abby he had lost something—a spark, an energy—lately she had seen glimpses of this spark reemerge and all of this had started when he began spending more time with Christopher and Eddie.</p><p>Speaking of—Eddie looked highly amused as he followed their conversation. He was obviously more than a little interested in Buck’s past aboard the 118. Buck though—the poor guy seemed like he was about to explode. His face looked like a tomato. And damn it—now she felt bad for him.</p><p>“Very well, I won’t tell,” she finally conceded, “Damn shame, ‘cause it was a great story.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s not fair,” Eddie said, smiling at Maddie. “You had me convinced that it was such a great story and now you’re not telling it? Not cool Maddie. You’re definitely losing your status as my <em>most favourite counsellor</em>.</p><p>Maddie snorted. “Compared to whom? I’m the only one on this ship.”</p><p>Buck for one, looked very relieved. He smiled as he looked at Eddie. “Yeah well, I for one am very glad that Maddie is not telling the story. Who knows? Maybe I’ll tell it to you myself someday—but not today,” he quickly added when he saw Eddie perk up.</p><p>The man glanced back at Buck and grinned. A stray curl fell across his forehead. He had been somewhat growing out his beautiful dark hair ever since he’d been aboard. From the corner of her eye Maddie could see how Buck’s hand twitched. As if he had half a mind to bring the wayward curl back into the fold, but was able to withhold himself from going ahead with the plan. In the end it was Eddie himself who raked a hand through his locks, Buck’s eyes never straying from the sight.</p><p>Maddie was intrigued. What on Earth was going on between her brother and Eddie? They were just friends—right?</p><p>Eddie finally looked away from Buck. His attention was caught by Christopher for a moment, as the boy was sitting on the ground, playing with his Legos. Maddie’s keen eyes did not miss her brother’s reaction though. As soon as Eddie had looked away, Buck’s smile had melted from his face. He was now staring at the back of Eddie’s head with something akin to contemplation in his eyes, almost as if he was trying to figure something out, but it was just out of reach.</p><p>And—</p><p>No—</p><p>Maddie was baffled. How could she have been so blind?</p><p>She suddenly knew, without a shadow of a doubt, what kept her brother so preoccupied with the back of Eddie’s head right now. Buck had a crush on Eddie. Thinking about it, it wasn’t hard to understand where this crush came from. Eddie was very easy on the eyes, if not to say <em>gorgeous</em>. He was a great father and overall a wonderful man. He was right up Buck’s alley.</p><p>An oh—this was so great. It had so much potential. What did concern her a little was just how deep this crush on Eddie ran and if Eddie felt the same way. So far Maddie hadn’t seen anything in Eddie’s behaviour that hinted at a returned interest in Buck. She genuinely hoped that this crush wouldn’t lead to her brother getting hurt. Buck had been through enough already. It was time for him to catch a break.</p><p>She wouldn’t say anything about it to Eddie though, it wasn’t her place to comment. Although she wasn’t above fishing for some information from her brother. All this to <em>help</em> him out of course.</p><p>“So Eddie,” Chimney interrupted her musings. “It’s been—what? About three months now you’ve been here? How are you enjoying the good life?”</p><p>Eddie looked at him. “Honestly Sir?” He seemed troubled. Before he could go on, Chimney stopped him. “Wow—Eddie, no man. I told you before and I’m telling you now—in here I am not the First Officer. I’m just Chimney.”</p><p>Eddie sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s just muscle memory I guess. I see a commanding officer and I can’t help it. Sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Chim said, before he tentatively added, “Now, you were about to tell me something about the good life on board of this ship?” He almost made it sound like a question. Maddie got why. Eddie didn’t seem all that thrilled to talk about his new life on board of the 118. Now she was intrigued again. His life on board was not something he had ever mentioned during one of his sessions with her. He mostly talked about the past and the guilt he carried along.</p><p>“Well,” Eddie began, “let me just begin by saying that I’m so happy that you all rescued us from that moon and I’ll be forever grateful for that fact—”</p><p>“But—” Maddie said.</p><p>Eddie looked at Maddie. He realised that he couldn’t hide anything from her. “Look, for the most part— being on this ship is like a dream come true. There is a safe space for us to live. There is more than enough food on the table. No more hunting trips and dangerous outings to find a couple of measly rodents or reptiles to eat. That’s definitely a good thing. And you people—I really appreciate all that you’re doing for us. We had to do without any social contact for years and it’s been such a treat to interact with people again—” He briefly glanced at Buck, “to finally have friends again has been incredible. I feel safe here, like I’ve been underwater for 7 years and I can finally breathe again. However—”</p><p>Maddie saw Chimney shift from the corner of her eyes, as if he was bracing himself for whatever bomb Eddie was about to drop.</p><p>“—when I was on Sitèria, I had purpose. If we needed food or water? I went hunting. If the roof of the dwelling collapsed? I fixed it. If Chris—” Eddie hesitated and quickly looked over to Christopher. The boy was still fully immersed into creating his Lego-masterpiece, so Eddie went on, “—if Chris was having a bad day and the pain in his back or legs became too much, I did everything in my power to make him more comfortable—as good as I knew how to without heavy-duty painkillers or modern technology.”</p><p>Maddie swallowed away the bile she felt coming up. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like to be unable to take away your child’s pain. She could feel Eddie’s despair resonate in her body. Sometimes that small percentage of Betazoid DNA in her body was more like a curse than a gift. This was one of those moments. She could feel Eddie’s pain in every cell of her being. And then there was the grief he felt—wait, no—that wasn’t Eddie at all. Maddie’s attention shifted to Buck.</p><p>“Eddie—” Buck said. He gently put his hand onto the other man’s shoulder, compassion radiating from his every pore. Maddie could feel how Buck longed to take over even a small piece of Eddie’s pain. She was stunned by the depth of his emotions. Buck being her brother, she had always been able to sense his emotions so much better than anyone else’s. Buck might not have inherited their great-grandmother’s Betazoid genes like Maddie had, but he was still a very emotional and tactile man. She could feel the compassion flow through his veins.</p><p>So maybe <em>crush</em> had been an underestimation. She couldn’t be sure, but—there was definitely something <em>more</em> there though—something <em>deeper</em>.</p><p>“It’s just—” Eddie finally continued after taking a moment to regroup. “I feel like I am without purpose here. None of my specific skills are needed and all I do all day long is stare outside, read books and aimlessly wander the corridors of this ship. I used to fill the hours by caring for Christopher, but now I don’t even have that anymore since he started school two weeks ago. Don’t get me wrong—I think it’s great that he can be a normal kid now. But— I feel like I’m adrift all day long. My only sense of purpose that has been with me for 7 years now is gone— going to school every day and frankly— I feel useless.”</p><p>Chimney nodded. “I get that. You’ve gone through quite a change.” He looked thoughtful. Maddie knew from experience when the little frown appeared on his forehead that he was thinking of a solution to Eddie’s problem. Chimney was a <em>fixer</em>. When something didn’t work, he tried to find a solution to make it all better. This was why he was a great First Officer and this was why Maddie had fallen for him in the first place.</p><p>“Look--,” he said, “I’ll talk to the Captain. See if we can give you something to do on the ship. What do you think?”</p><p>“That’d be great. Thank you. I’d be happy to do anything,” Eddie said. He sent Chimney a grateful smile. He looked back at Chris who took this exact moment to yawn widely. “Well, I guess that’s our cue to go home to get some sleep,” he said. Chris looked up and immediately started pouting. Eddie grinned at his son’s sad face. “Do we have to dad?” he whined.</p><p>“Yes buddy, you know how cranky you get if you don’t get enough sleep. Besides, you have school tomorrow.” Eddie stood up and started collecting Christopher’s Legos. Chimney spoke up, “Yeah, I need to get to the bridge anyway. My shift is about to start.” He shifted closer to Maddie’s chair. She turned to him. Then he was right there. Maddie would never stop admiring Howie’s beautiful eyes. They were perfect, because they belonged to the man she loved more than life itself.</p><p>“Hey—” he whispered. “Hey back to you,” she softly replied.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Maddie shivered. Another thing that she loved so much about her partner. He wasn’t afraid to tell her how much he loved her. Maddie herself still had some problems with that, because of her disastrous past with her parents and Doug. But Chimney just burst through all her defences and always left her wanting for more. “Yeah,” she answered. “I know. Me too.” She closed her eyes as he leaned in to kiss her.</p><p>“Eeeew!” Maddie pulled back to look at her brother. She shot him an incredulous look. “Really Evan?”</p><p>“What?” Buck looked decidedly uncomfortable. “It’s just a little weird to see my sister make out with her boyfriend okay? I couldn’t contain the first reaction”.</p><p>“Buck, we’ve been dating for a year. I’d think you’d be used to some PDA by now,” Chim said, grinning at Buck as he pulled Maddie back in. This time there was no interruption as they kissed.</p><p>“Yeah, you’d think—” she vaguely heard her brother respond. But to be honest she was no longer paying him any attention. She had better things to focus on, such as Chimney’s lips on hers. When he finally pulled away, Buck’s attention had already shifted to helping Eddie clean up Christopher’s Legos. They worked in unison, quickly spotting and collecting every stray piece of Lego that was still on the floor.</p><p>“I’ve got to go,” Howie said. “Okay, see you later,” Maddie replied, leaning over to give him one last kiss. He stood up and walked over to the door. “Bye Buck—Eddie,” he nodded at the men. “Bye Chim—” Buck said, just as Eddie replied, “Bye Sir.”</p><p>Chim sent him a withering stare. Eddie immediately looked genuinely contrite. “I know, I know. Muscle memory. Remember? Sorry Si—Chimney.”</p><p>Chimney grinned at him. “One of these days Eddie, my name will come as naturally to you as my title.” He glanced at Maddie for a second before turning around. Then he was gone.</p><p>Eddie watched him go with amusement in his eyes, while Buck was still looking around, scanning the floor for stray Lego-pieces. “I think we’ve got them all,” he said. In the meantime, Eddie had already picked up Chris. The boy had started to sway a little. He was obviously exhausted. “Don’t worry Eddie,” Maddie said. “If I happen to come across another piece, I’ll put it aside.”</p><p>Eddie sent her a grateful look over the top of Christopher’s curls. “Thanks Maddie.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” she replied.</p><p>“Well, thank you for the lovely dinner. I had fun. It was nice to get out of my head for a while and just relax with the people I’ve—” he briefly glanced at Buck before looking back at Maddie, “—come to care about.” Buck hadn’t noticed, but Maddie wasn’t known as one of the best counsellors in Starfleet just for show. Nothing escaped her notice.</p><p>She remembered her manners just in time. “You’re welcome. It was our pleasure to have you here. We should do this again sometime soon.”</p><p>Eddie smiled at her. “We should and we will.” He held on tight to Christopher who was now fast asleep in his arms. Buck was carrying the bag of Legos and Christopher’s crutches. “I’ll walk with you so you don’t have to carry all this stuff,” he said. Eddie nodded. “Great, thanks Buck.”</p><p>“Actually—” Maddie said, “Buck, could you stay just a little longer? I wanted to have a quick word with you about something.”</p><p>Buck frowned at Maddie. “Is everything okay?”</p><p>“Yeah yeah, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. I just—I just need to talk to you about something personal.”</p><p>“Okay,” Eddie said, looking curiously between the siblings. “Buck, I’m going to go and put Chris to bed. Just stay here and bring Chris’s stuff by later. I don’t mind.”</p><p>“Okay, if you’re sure.” Buck hesitated. “Yes, don’t worry. Chris may be sound asleep, but it’s still a little too early for my bedtime.” He looked back at Maddie and nodded. “Counsellor,” he said and stepped out the door.</p><p>Now it was just Maddie and Buck. “Okay Evan, spill.” Maddie cut right to the chase. Buck just looked confused. “What are you talking about?” This was the Evan Buckley Maddie cherished and loved, oblivious as ever. “Eddie—” she started. Buck immediately took on a defensive stand as if Maddie was going to say something bad about his friend.</p><p>“He is very cute,” she said.</p><p>“What?” Buck looked even more confused than before. But then suddenly, his eyes cleared as if he had figured something out. “Maddie, is everything all right between you and Chimney? Is something wrong? Something I don’t know about? If there is, you know I’m here for you to talk things through right? I don’t think developing a crush on one of your patients is going to help matters.”</p><p>Maddie stared at him incredulously. She could tell this was going to be harder than she had expected. Sometimes, getting any kind of useful information out of her brother was like pulling teeth one by one— very slowly.</p><p>“Not for me Buck! For you! He is cute for you!” She called out completely exasperated.</p><p>“What? Maddie what—”</p><p>“Look Evan,” she started, “I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to like the guy a lot. I might even say that you have developed somewhat of a crush on him. Now, I could be wrong of course, but I really don’t think I am.”</p><p>Buck looked down. Suddenly he seemed to be overly fascinated with the floor.</p><p>“Buck,” Maddie softly added, “It’s okay, you know. It’s okay to like someone.”</p><p>“No, you don’t understand Maddie. It isn’t like that. Eddie— we bonded so quickly. It’s like I’ve known him forever. He’s my friend. My best friend. But I’m not going to lie, lately I’ve been wondering if that’s really all he is to me— just a friend. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, so I’ve opted to not talk about it. I just—I want to be sure that whatever I feel is real and not born out of some kind of desire to no longer be alone anymore. So, I can’t spill anything, because there’s nothing to spill. I like Eddie a lot and Christopher—,” He broke out in a full grin, “— man, he is something else. Such a great kid. So yeah— best friends, that’s all there is to it.”</p><p>Maddie nodded. “All right then. That’s all I needed to know. I’m sorry for pushing you to talk about this. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. It’s just—sometimes I worry about you.”</p><p>“That’s all right Maddie,” Buck said. He looked a little forlorn. “I guess I needed a bit of shaking up to really get to the bottom of what I feel for Eddie.”</p><p>“You’re welcome then—and if you ever figure it out, I’m here to talk if you need to— or want to,” Maddie grinned and Buck smiled fondly back at her. “I know. Thanks Maddie,” He walked over and softly kissed her on the cheek, “You’re my favourite sister.” Maddie smiled at that. “That’s not hard. I’m your only sister.”</p><p>“Yeah—well, I don’t care. Still the best. Okay—” Buck held up the bag of Legos and Chris’s crutches. “I guess I’d better go drop these off.”</p><p>“Yeah, you do that,” Maddie said, grinning cheekily. Buck blushed before he turned and walked out. But not before Maddie shouted out a quick—</p><p>“Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do!”</p><p>Buck’s rambunctious laughter reached her through the closed doors. She stared at the place where her brother had stood a few minutes ago and sighed. She really hoped that Buck would figure it out and that his heart wouldn’t be broken in the process. He’d been through enough already. He deserved a break. He deserved some happiness. Now if only there was a way to know for sure that his future happiness lay with Eddie and Christopher—</p><p>But there wasn’t.</p><p>All she could do was wait and see what would happen. Thank God that she was a patient woman.</p><p>---</p><p>“Bye dad!” Christopher yelled. He didn’t look back once as he stepped into the classroom. Eddie wasn’t going to lie. That hurt a little. For seven years it had only been him and his son. They had been together every single day. Now—suddenly—there were complete days where he only got to see Chris in the mornings and evenings. The rest of the day was Christopher-free which meant that Eddie suddenly had oodles of free time. Free time he had no idea what to do with. Even growing up he had never had time to himself. Free time to relax didn’t exactly fit into the whole ‘be a good soldier and obey orders’ mindset of the Martian Army.</p><p>So, every day—when Chris was at school, Eddie tried to fill his time with doing chores, reading, trying out different holodeck programs, wandering the corridors of the 118 and basically just hanging around until he could go and fetch his son at school.</p><p>Now listen, he was really happy for Christopher that he got to have a normal experience like going to school, but it left him with so much extra time that he just didn’t know what to do with himself. Funny thing is, if someone had told Eddie a year ago that one day his son would be able to attend school, which is something that never would have happened in the first place since they were alone on that moon. But hypothetically, if this <em>someone</em> would have happened to stumble across their dwelling and told them that Chris would go to school in a year’s time, he would have laughed in their face. Well— probably <em>cried</em> in their face because the mere thought of his son never having the chance at a normal life had been so incredibly depressing.</p><p>But now he was here. Christopher had been enrolled in Josh Russo’s class for two weeks now and he had loved every minute of it. Josh seemed like a very chaotic man at first and Eddie had been a bit hesitant to entrust his boy to the man. But Buck had assured Eddie that Josh was a great teacher and that Harry and Denny loved going to school. And fair is fair, the last couple of weeks have really confirmed that Josh really was worth all of Buck’s praise. For a lack of other words, Christopher was <em>thriving</em>. Eddie however—well, that was a whole other matter.</p><p>It was true what he told Commander Han and Maddie at dinner the other night. He felt like he no longer had a purpose ever since Chris started school. He tried to occupy his time with other things, but it was of no use. He was bored. He couldn’t even go out and randomly visit Buck anymore. That had always been Christopher’s thing and he had just kind of tagged along for the ride, but now he would feel all kinds of awkward popping up at the guy’s work place unannounced.</p><p>So yeah— that left him with little options to occupy his free time.</p><p>Eddie sighed deeply. He ran his hand through his hair as stared at the closed classroom door. To anyone it would seem a little weird—some guy staring at a random door. To him it was like he was staring into the abyss that was the rest of his day. He had no idea what he was going to do to occupy himself today, so once again he just started walking. He got on and off the turbolift at random decks, took some lefts and rights, always hoping to discover something he hadn’t yet before. Something that would break the monotony of his day. As he walked he thought back at Commander Han’s words the night before. He really hoped that the Commander would be able to convince the Captain to give him something useful to do on board. Even if it was a spot on the cleaning crew— Eddie truly didn’t care. As long as he would get to work— so he could feel useful again.</p><p>An hour later he was still steadily making his way through the ship. He had just gotten off on deck 26, a deck he had never visited before, when he smelled it. It was a pungent smell as if something was rotting. As he tried to follow the smell to pinpoint where it came from, he became aware that he found it harder and harder to breathe properly the closer he came to the source. He realised right there and then that this was no ordinary foul stench. If this was something that affected his breathing, this could actually be a foreign substance leaking out into the corridor somewhere. Maybe a gas of some sort? He finally came to the point of origin. There was a door at the end of the corridor. It was labelled as the Communications Lab. He covered up his nose and mouth with his sleeve and tried the door. It was tightly locked. Probably a safety measure to make sure that no more of the gas could escape into the corridor.</p><p>Eddie knew that if anyone was still inside that room, they would have no way out. This was a Communications Lab so he doubted that there were any gas masks around to protect the crew. Communications wasn’t exactly the most dangerous place to be at. So if anyone was still inside, they most certainly would suffocate. Unless—</p><p>Eddie didn’t hesitate as he quickly removed the panel next to the door to rig his way into the lab. He had a stray thought to thank his parents for his unconventional upbringing. At least now it turned out to be good for something. It took him about 15 seconds to override the system. With a heavy woosh the doors finally opened. A thick smog of gas wafted out and made his eyes water. He quickly covered his nose and mouth again with his shirt. The penetrating smell that came out was almost too much to handle. Eddie tapped his comm badge.</p><p>“Eddie Diaz to Captain N--” He coughed a couple of times. “—Nash”</p><p>“Captain Nash here,” the Captain immediately replied.</p><p>“Captain, there is no time to explain, but I’m at the Communications Lab. There is gas everywhere and I don’t know if there is still anyone inside. Should I go in to check?”</p><p>“That’s Karen Wilson’s lab,” the Captain interrupted. His breathing clearly picked up over the comm. “She’s usually there during the day. It’s possible that ensign Sheppard is in there as well. She helps Karen out in the lab once in a while.” He sounded rattled. “We’re trying to get a lock on their comm badges to beam them out, but the gas seems to be blocking the signals. If we can’t beam them out directly, we’ll have to extract them manually. I’ll dispatch a team right away. But Eddie, don’t go in there without protective gear. If it’s gas, it could be toxic.”</p><p>Eddie heard him rattle off orders to assemble the rescue team. Any second now, he expected a team to materialise in front of him. Nothing happened.</p><p>“Sir, what’s going on? Where is the team?” Eddie asked. He was getting a little impatient. What the Hell was taking them so long.</p><p>“Stand by Diaz. There seems to be an overall problem with the transporter system. It’s almost as if someone is blocking it from the outside. Buck is on it!” the Captain replied.</p><p>Eddie looked back into the lab. The gas was everywhere now. “This reeks of sabotage. All due respect Sir, but if this gas is indeed toxic and Karen and Sheppard are in there, there is no more time to waste. I don’t see any other choice. I have to go in.”</p><p>“Negative Diaz. Do not go in there. I repeat—DO NOT go in there!”</p><p>Eddie’s frustration grew. That had been a direct and clear order. A small part of him—a part he liked to refer to as ‘soldier Eddie’ was clambering to obey the order. But a bigger and better part of him, the real Eddie inside—he knew that there was no other way to do this. He couldn’t just stay inactive and stand by when there were possibly two people dying in there. “Captain, I’m sorry— but I’m going in.”</p><p>“Eddie—” Bobby hesitated. He seemed to have realised that this might be Karen and Sheppard’s only chance. “Okay—okay-- very well, proceed. But Eddie—be careful.”</p><p>Eddie didn’t bother to sign off. He just covered his mouth and nose with the collar of his shirt and stepped inside.</p><p>“HELLO! Is anyone here?” He cautiously moved through the lab. He hadn’t visited this lab before, so he didn’t know the layout of the place. He didn’t want get too far away from the open door. If he did, he would run the risk of getting disoriented and then he’d be in trouble. He tried calling out again—</p><p>“HELLO! Karen? Sheppard? Anyone!?”</p><p>Then he heard it. A low moan. It came from the far end of the lab, furthest away from the door—of course. Eddie looked back at the open door one last time and ventured deeper into the lab to find the origin of the sound. Then he saw her-- Karen Wilson. He had only met Hen’s wife a handful of times, but he would recognise that gorgeous mop of hair anywhere. She was lying on the ground, her left arm twisted in an unnatural angle. He quickly ran over to her. His hand trembled as he searched for her pulse. He was relieved when he immediately felt a strong beat under his fingertips.</p><p>“Karen!” he said, hoping she’d react to him. To no avail though as she remained unresponsive. He checked her breathing. She was breathing very shallowly, which was to be expected as she was breathing in toxic gasses. He tore a strip of his shirt and created a makeshift mouth mask in an attempt to keep her from breathing in too much of the toxic fumes.</p><p>He quickly checked her over for any other injuries. Upon closer inspection it was now clear that her left arm was broken in two places. She also had a small head wound. Probably from fainting as the gas hit her. He lifted her up and put her over his shoulder as he slowly started to make his way back out of the lab. As he walked back he kept an eye out for ensign Sheppard. At first glance she didn’t appear to be anywhere in the lab. But he couldn’t be sure as the gas had filled up the room and his vision was severely impaired because of it.</p><p>Suddenly the lights dimmed and the sound of whirring vents cut through the silence. The emergency ventilation system had started up. It was becoming easier to breathe as the toxic fumes were replaced with fresh oxygen. It was a relief, because now Eddie could actually see where he was going.</p><p>Two people materialised in the middle of the lab. “Eddie! Karen!” Buck’s voice cut right through the loud noises of the vents.</p><p>“HERE! Buck we’re here!” Eddie yelled. He was almost at the door. Buck swiftly ran over to him. He was wearing protective gear and a protective mask. He was closely followed by the Captain, wearing the same outfit.</p><p>“Hand her over to me,” Buck said. But Eddie knew that it would only cost precious seconds that Karen didn’t have. “No,” he said, “not enough time. I’ll get her out. Just go find Sheppard.”</p><p>“But Eddie—” Buck started. He was interrupted by the Captain. “Buck, just lead the man out of here. I’ll look around to see if I can find Sheppard.”</p><p>“Yes Sir,” Buck said and quickly made his way out of the lab, closely followed by Eddie.</p><p>As soon as they stepped through the doors, Hen was there. Before he even had the chance to properly put Karen down, Hen was already frantically checking her over. She quickly put an oxygen mask on her wife’s face, while muttering the entire time—</p><p>“Come on baby—come on—I need you to be okay. Please be okay.”</p><p>“Hen—” Eddie said, drawing her attention. “She has a good pulse, but her breathing is shallow. Her left arm is broken in two places and she has a very shallow head wound on her right temple, probably sustained when she went down as the gas hit her,” Eddie quickly informed her.</p><p>Hen stared at him for a second, fear clear in her eyes. She forcefully grasped onto Eddie’s hands. “Thank you,” she whispered fiercely, “Without you—”</p><p>But then she was interrupted by a soft moan. “Hen—” Karen whispered with a weak voice. Hen bent over her wife and gently cupped her cheeks. “Shhhh, baby—it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m going to give you something to make you sleep, okay? The next time you’ll see me, you’ll be in sickbay.</p><p>“No—Hen—” Karen shook her head. “Tell the Cap—Captain—Malia.” She closed her eyes for a second as if to gather all her strength. “Tell him that Malia did this—she did this.”</p><p>“Malia Sheppard?” Hen asked her, her voice tinged with anger. “She did this to you?”</p><p>Karen nodded. “Caught her— trying to access highly classified encrypted information. She had cannisters of Thoromic gas. She was—was going to use them to create an explosion. Don’t know where— We fought—one of the cannisters must have been damaged in the f—fight. She—she pushed me against the bulkhead. My arm hurt. She—she still has cannisters of the gas—Hen—she is dangerous—”</p><p>“Hush be quiet now baby. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.” Hen quickly injected a fast-working anaesthetic into her bloodstream. “Sleep now.” Karen slumped back into Hen’s arms.</p><p>Hen looked up at Eddie and Buck. “Did you hear that?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Buck said. He looked worried. He quickly tapped his comm badge. “Buck to Athena.”</p><p>“Athena here.”</p><p>“Athena, we have a situation here. Apparently Malia Sheppard was caught red-handed by Karen as she was trying to access sensitive information. There was a struggle. She set off a canister of Thoromic gas and left Karen to die in the lab. Karen said she has more cannisters on her. Something about using them for an explosion.”</p><p>“All right. I’m on it Buck. How’s Karen?”</p><p>Buck looked at Hen. She nodded at him.</p><p>“She’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Yes, but I’ll tell you exactly who won’t be fine once I’m done with her—” Athena replied, “Malia Sheppard. Athena out.”</p><p>Buck looked at Eddie. “Well, if anyone’s got a chance to catch Sheppard, it’s Athena. She won’t give up.”</p><p>Before Eddie could say anything to that, he was suddenly hit with a terrible coughing attack. Hen looked at him. “Buck, give the man some oxygen. He must have breathed in quite some gas in that lab. It’ll clear his lungs.”</p><p>Buck pulled Eddie aside and put his own mask on Eddie’s face. “Here, breathe in deeply.”</p><p>Eddie took a couple of deep breaths until he felt the pressure on his lungs dissipate. He couldn’t stop staring at Karen. He thought back to what she had said. If Karen hadn’t caught her in the act, Sheppard would have used that gas to blow something up. But what? And why? And where was the Captain? Had he found the traitor yet? His head started spinning with all the unanswered questions that were tied to this case. It was getting more difficult for him to take deep breaths.</p><p>Then suddenly—he felt arms sneak around his shoulders as Buck stepped in behind him. Being embraced by Buck’s strong arms seemed to calm him down again as they offered silent support. Buck must have realised that the adrenaline crash had had his head spinning. Eddie gratefully leaned back into the solid shape behind him as he managed to keep his breathing deep and even. Now they just had to wait for the Captain to return.</p><p>Eddie looked on as Hen slapped her comm badge. “This is Doctor Wilson. Two to beam to sickbay! I have Ka-- a patient that is ready for emergency transport. ASAP please!”</p><p>As Eddie watched on, Hen and Karen disintegrated in front of his eyes. They were gone. Eddie slumped back against Buck’s chest. Buck held on to him a little tighter. “You did good Eddie,” he said. “You saved her—you saved Karen.”</p><p>“Did I?” Eddie asked. “What if she doesn’t—”</p><p>“No,” Buck interrupted, conviction in his voice, “she is going to be fine Eddie. She has to be—”</p><p>“Buck is right,” the Captain said. He had just exited the lab. He quickly took off his protective mask and looked at Eddie. “Karen will be all right, because of you Eddie.”</p><p>Buck spoke up. “Sir, are you up to date on Sheppard? Karen said that—”</p><p>The Captain lifted his hand and effectively silenced Buck. “I’m aware of the situation, Buck. Athena informed me.” He looked back at Eddie. “How are you doing Eddie? How’s the breathing going?”</p><p>Eddie felt better, so he carefully took off the mask to see if he still needed it. He took a couple of deep breaths, but the pressure he had felt before didn’t return. “I’m good Sir,” he said and reluctantly pulled away from Buck’s warmth.</p><p>The Captain reached for Eddie’s hand and shook it firmly. “Thank you,” he said.</p><p>Eddie felt a little uncomfortable. “You don’t have to thank me Sir. I’m sure that everyone would have done the same thing.”</p><p>“I’m not so sure about that,” the Captain said. “People can sometimes let fear rule their actions in dangerous situations like this.”</p><p>“Face it. You saved her,” Buck said as he stepped up next to Eddie and looked at him with clear admiration in his eyes. “That makes you a hero in my book,” the Captain added with a smile.</p><p>“I’m no one’s hero,” Eddie replied rather sharply. He had to look away for a moment. When he looked back at the Captain, the man’s eyebrows were doing a complicated thing as if he wasn’t quite sure what to make of Eddie’s outburst. Buck didn’t look all that surprised though. Eddie has talked about his past to him and all the terrible things he had done as a member of the Martian Army. Buck knew how deep it cut him to think back on those days. No, Eddie wasn’t a hero, he was anything but—</p><p>“Well—” the Captain continued. “You’ll have to excuse me. I’m going to sickbay to check on Karen’s condition.” He looked at Eddie. “You should probably make a quick stop in sickbay as well Eddie. It might be wise to let Hen check out your lungs.”</p><p>“Yes Sir,” Eddie replied. “I will. I just need some rest first. I feel like I’ve run a marathon in 10 minutes.”</p><p>“Very well, take your time, but I expect you to report to sickbay before tonight. I’ll be checking in with Hen,” Bobby said.</p><p>“Sir—” Eddie started.</p><p>“That’s an order,” the Captain added, before he turned around and walked away.</p><p>“Yes Sir,” Eddie grit out.</p><p>Buck just looked at him. “Were you even planning on going to sickbay if he hadn’t made it an order?”</p><p>“Probably not,” Eddie told him honestly.</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“I’ve spent enough time in many different sickbays to last me a lifetime. I just didn’t feel like going, that’s all,” Eddie replied dismissively. When he saw the taken aback look on Buck’s face he immediately felt guilty. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “That came out a little harsh. I just—this wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for me. I think I just need a shower and a nap. I’ll go straight to sickbay after that, I promise,” he added.</p><p>“You better,” Buck muttered. “I have to go back to Engineering. We were in the middle of a meeting when I heard about the emergency.”</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Eddie said, already turning in the direction of the turbolift that would take him back to his quarters. “Oh!” He said as he turned back to Buck, while walking backwards. “We still on for tonight?”</p><p>Buck grinned. “Wouldn’t want to miss the chance to beat your ass in Mario Kart now, would I? I’ll be there at 7.”</p><p>Eddie smiled at him. “Great. See you then.”</p><p>He turned and quickly walked away from Buck. The adrenaline crash had him so tired that he felt like just crashing right there in the public corridor. He pushed himself to walk a little faster and as soon as he had reached his quarters, he fell down on the couch. Nap first, the shower could wait.</p><p>---</p><p>Bobby quickly made his way to sickbay. He was worried about what he was about to find there. Karen was one of his best and brightest scientists, but also a personal friend. He and Athena often had Hen and Karen over for dinner. Inevitably, Hen always ended up sitting with Athena on the couch while Bobby and Karen would remain at the table, talking about the philosophical questions of the universe. Karen had so many great insights in the way the universe worked and she had a really dry sense of humour that he appreciated greatly. He just hoped that she would be okay. As he reached sickbay he took a couple of deep breaths to brace himself.</p><p>The first thing he saw was that Karen was on a bed. She had been intubated and Hen was scanning her with a tricorder.</p><p>“Hen, report,” he ordered. She looked up at him, clearly surprised to see him there. In her concentration she hadn’t heard Bobby enter. Bobby studied her face. Her eyes were bloodshot as if she had been crying, which she probably had. She looked terrible.</p><p>“Her heartbeat is steady and I managed to stabilise her breathing. I already set her broken arm. I’m now making some scans of her lungs to see if they sustained any lasting damage. She’s alive though—which is more than I could have hoped for,” she said. Her voice wobbled as if she was about to break down. “Captain—that gas she breathed in? That was Thoromic gas, which is extremely toxic. If Eddie hadn’t been there or if he had arrived even a minute later, I don’t think she would have made it. And I just—" She broke off as her voice seemed to stop working for her. She shakily brought up a hand to her mouth.</p><p>“You okay?” Bobby gently inquired.</p><p>“No,” she simply stated. “No—I’m not.”</p><p>“Hen--,” Bobby said. He grabbed on to her upper arms and softly pulled her into his body, hugging her lightly. She tried to resist the embrace for a second or so, but in the end she gave in. He could almost feel the moment when she broke down completely and started crying. “She’s alive Hen. She’s alive,” Bobby kept repeating, gently swaying from left to right.</p><p>“I know that Bobby—” she sobbed, “I know that, but when I close my eyes I keep seeing her as Eddie first put her down on the ground. She was so still and pale—and for a second there—for a second I really thought that I’d lost her and I saw it Bobby— I could suddenly see the rest of my life without her before me. Endless days of missing her next to me— I couldn’t bear that. I just couldn’t—”</p><p>“I know Hen. I know,” Bobby said, holding her a little tighter.</p><p>He let her cry in his arms for as long as she needed. Eventually she pulled back and put her hands on his chest. Her face was bloated and tear streaked. “Thank you Bobby. I needed that,” she said, sniffing a little as she smiled up to him. “If I wasn’t into girls, I might think you were making a pass at me.” Bobby threw his head back and laughed. “Sorry Hen, but Athena would kill me and hide my body so well that no one would ever be able to find me.”</p><p>Hen smiled. “She really would, wouldn’t she?” She said. “Now there is a woman who loves fiercely, but without mercy— I tell you.” She stepped away from Bobby and turned back to Karen. She gently picked up one of Karen’s hands. “I’ll tell you one thing though—” she said, glancing back at Bobby. “Eddie? You better give that man and his boy whatever they want. You hear?” She looked Bobby square in the eye. “Anything Bobby. Because, without him running in there— which was a crazy move by the way. What was he thinking? He must have been channelling Buck. That reckless idiot pulls off crazy rescues like that all the time.” She smiled a little as she shook her head at Eddie and Buck’s stupidity. “Regardless— without him Karen wouldn’t be here anymore. I— would have had to tell our son that his mother had died Bobby,” she shakily said, tears rolling down her face.</p><p>Bobby smiled kindly at her. “Crazy moves is kinda what the crew of the SF-118 is known for, right?”</p><p>Hen nodded. “Yeah, in that regard, he fits in really well, doesn’t he?”</p><p>“He does,” Bobby said. “Chim did inform me that Eddie feels a little— <em>lost</em> on board ever since Christopher has gone back to school. He asked me if we couldn’t give him something to do, but frankly—I’m at a loss. He didn’t go to Starfleet Academy and the only thing he was trained for was being an obeying soldier. I’ve thought about putting him on a security detail, but Athena didn’t think it was a good idea with his background.”</p><p>“Athena’s a smart woman. I have to agree with her in this case Bobby,” Hen replied. She already looked a little better now that she had something else to focus on. “I mean—I don’t exactly know all the details of his life before Sitèria or the circumstances of his childhood and youth, but when he was in sickbay in a coma? I examined him thoroughly Bobby. I took scans of virtually every part of his body and I found that his body was riddled with scars, some still visible, but most already faded to a point where it was hard to see them with the naked eye. But scans don’t lie. Bobby, the only way for those scars to have faded that much is that he had to have gotten them when he was very young, a child even. Putting him on a security detail where he would be around violence could prove to be too traumatising for him.”</p><p>“Oh, don’t worry. I agree with both of you. And even though you know that I can’t talk to you about the details of his childhood, I can tell you that it was quite different than ours,” Bobby confided.</p><p>Hen nodded. “I know. Confidentiality and all. I’m a doctor—been there, done that. I understand. Still, it doesn’t take away from the fact that this man— who had a terrible childhood, fought for seven long years to keep himself and his son alive in the most dire of circumstances. It’s only logical that he would feel useless in the simple life he’s living aboard these days.”</p><p>Bobby nodded. “That’s what Chim said.” He sighed deeply. “I just don’t know what to do with him.”</p><p>Hen looked at him thoughtfully. “What about medicine?” she asked.</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“Just something I noticed earlier,” Hen replied. “When Eddie pulled Karen out, he immediately informed me of her medical status. He told me about her pulse, breathing pattern and other additional trauma, such as her broken arm and the slight abrasion on the right temple. All the basics that are taught to an EMT in the field. He acted as if he knew what he was doing.”</p><p>Bobby looked at her thoughtfully. “That might actually be a good idea,” he said. He glanced around the room. “Well, you have been working on your own in sickbay for a long time now. Maybe you could use some assistance?” Bobby asked. He pursed his lips as he awaited her answer.</p><p>Hen grinned cheekily at him. “Now that you mention it— I could actually. Lately I’ve been a little stressed with all the work around here. An extra pair of hands would be really helpful.”</p><p>“All right then,” Bobby said. “I’ll have a talk with him tonight. I’ll let you know his answer.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Hen said. She smiled wistfully for a second before she turned back to Karen. She gently smoothed her wife’s hair back from her forehead. Bobby briefly touched her shoulder. “She’ll be fine Hen. Don’t worry. She is being treated by one of the best doctors I’ve ever met.”</p><p>Hen glanced back as she lifted her eyebrows at him. “Why thank you Bobby.” Sarcasm dripped off every word.</p><p>“Don’t mention it,” Bobby said. He grinned at her one last time before he turned and left.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was on his way to Eddie’s. Technically it was way too early for him to show up there, since they had agreed to meet up at 7 PM and it was only 6:30 PM, but Buck couldn’t help but worry about him. He had put a <em>clearly excited</em> Albert in charge at Engineering and had taken off early. The convenience of being the boss.</p><p>Before leaving Engineering he had contacted Hen to check up on Karen’s status. He had been so relieved to find out that she was well on her way to a full recovery. As by miracle the gas hadn’t damaged her lungs to the point where they’d be permanently damaged. Hen had also casually mentioned that Eddie had just left sickbay after a quick check-up, where he had received a clean bill of health. Buck was happy. This was the best news he could have hoped for.</p><p>So overall good news, but for some reason he was still anxious. When he had returned to Engineering after the emergency in the lab, he hadn’t been able to focus at all. There was a constant thrumming in his body that didn’t allow him to relax or calm down for even a second. He just had a dire need to see Eddie with his own eyes, to make sure that he was okay—just like Hen had told him. Before long he was standing in front of the Diaz’s quarters. He had only just announced his presence when the doors slid open and Christopher was there, beaming up at him.</p><p>“Buck!” He called out excitedly.</p><p>“Hey kiddo!” Buck bent down and gave Christopher a tight hug. The boy put his arms around his neck and squeezed hard. “Did you hear Buck?” he whispered in his ear. “What?” Buck asked, just as quietly.</p><p>“My dad saved someone today.” He sounded so proud of his dad that Buck couldn’t help but grin at that. “Yeah, buddy. I know about that. I was there.”</p><p>“Really?” Christopher pulled back and looked at him with curious eyes.</p><p>“Yeah— and I can confirm that your dad is a real hero.”</p><p>Christopher beamed his most adorable smile at him. Man, he loved that kid.</p><p>“Evan Buckley! Are you telling my son tall tales?” Eddie came out of the bedroom. Buck was taken aback for a moment by how good he looked compared to this morning. Eddie’s cheeks had some colour again and his eyes all but sparkled with glee as he confronted Buck with his question.</p><p>“Nu-huh,” Buck replied, displaying his widest grin. “Just face it man. You’re a big damn hero now on board of this ship. We thrive on saving people, so you’re now officially one of us. Welcome to the 118.”</p><p>Eddie laughed out loud, his face lighting up with amusement. Happiness looked good on him. This reaction was a stark contrast to his reaction to Bobby’s first mention of Eddie being a hero. It seemed as if he had gotten used to different people calling him a hero for saving Karen. Now if only he would actually believe it. That would make Buck very happy.</p><p>Christopher chose that moment to attract Buck’s attention by taking his hand and leading him over to the couch. As soon as Buck sat down, Chris crawled into his lap. Buck’s arms automatically snuck around Christopher’s middle to keep him in place.</p><p>Eddie sat down opposite of them, in the armchair. He smiled fondly at the way Chris snuggled into Buck’s embrace. Buck couldn’t help but hug him a little closer. He was such a great kid.</p><p>Eddie looked at them with merriment in his eyes and said, “Buck, welcome to the Christopher Diaz fan club. A small warning—once you’re in, it’s for life— there’s no way out.” The sound of his laughter sounded more beautiful than music to Buck’s ears. He was relieved to see his friend so carefree. He had been afraid that this morning’s experience would have affected Eddie’s mood in a negative way as he had been getting progressively more depressed ever since Christopher had started school.</p><p>“Well, that sounds great. Where do I sign up?” Buck replied happily.</p><p>Eddie stopped laughing abruptly and stared at Buck in wonderment. Buck’s face heated up. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that, but he wasn’t lying. He would gladly sign up to take care of this boy for the rest of his days. Eddie deserved to know that.</p><p>Eddie looked away and swallowed heavily, as if he was embarrassed about something. As he did, Buck’s eyes were automatically drawn to the movement of his Adam’s apple. For a second Buck was mesmerised by the sight. As Eddie cleared his throat, Buck’s eyes snapped up to his face. Which left them staring into each other’s eyes.</p><p>Luckily, that was the moment when Christopher decided that he should share an update on his newest Lego-masterpiece. Eddie looked down to smile at his son and just like that, the awkwardness that had seemed to have settled around them dissipated.</p><p>Half an hour later, they found themselves alone again as Christopher had gone off to play.</p><p>“I swear,” Buck said, holding up his hands in surrender. “When I introduced him to Lego building bricks, I had no idea he was going to become so obsessed with them.”</p><p>Eddie smiled. “Yeah, I do blame you for that one. But you know—he grew up playing with rocks for toys. So yeah—”</p><p>Buck smiled back. “Now I feel a lot better about the Legos already. I get what you mean—he deserves the best after the childhood he’s had. So do you by the way,” Buck softly added. “I know that you always want to come across as the capable and steady father, but it’s okay to just be a <em>man</em> once in a while—he is still in there, right next to the <em>father</em>.” He hesitated for a moment whether or not to go on. “Eddie—it’s okay to want something for yourself once in a while. It doesn’t make you a bad father, just a good man. If you are ever in need of something—just for you, it’s okay to ask for it.”</p><p>Eddie smiled softly at him. He nodded. “I know. It’s hard for me to give in to that side of me, but I’m learning.” He grinned a little before adding, “ You know? You actually sound a lot like Hen.”</p><p>“Why?” Buck asked curiously. “What did she say?”</p><p>“Well, when I went for my check-up this afternoon she had some choice things to say to me,” Eddie shared. “After she grabbed and hugged me for about five minutes, she informed me that I was now her most favourite honorary member of the 118 and if I ever needed anything—legal or illegal, I should just come to her—because,” Eddie made finger quotes, “I am a good man and I deserve good things.” Eddie chuckled fondly as he remembered Hen’s words.</p><p>“Wow, that’s high praise coming from Hen,” Buck replied. “Then again, you did save the love of her life.”</p><p>“Yeah—” Eddie leaned back and rested his head on the back of the sofa. He breathed in deeply. “The thing is— the whole experience didn’t make me feel like a hero though. But— for the first time in months I felt alive again. I felt like I had purpose.” He looked at Buck. “Does that even make any sense?”</p><p>“It does,” Buck answered. “I’ve been where you are. Both of us—we aren’t the kind of people to just sit back and relax. We need to be in the thick of things. That’s what makes us feel alive.”</p><p>Eddie nodded at him. “You’re right. We’re very alike, but still so different—you and I.” Eddie smiled softly at him and Buck’s inner temperature rose again. By now his cheeks were probably red enough to give him away. It was odd— this feeling of floating and falling all at the same time and only when he was around Eddie. What did it all mean?</p><p>His talk with Maddie the day before had really screwed him up. By questioning him about his feelings for his friend she had practically forced Buck to take a closer look at his friendship with Eddie. But all it had done was confuse him even more. And then there was moments like this where the universe just seemed to slow down around him until all he could see was Eddie—and only Eddie. Was he alone in feeling this? Did Eddie feel it too? And what did it ultimately mean for them and their friendship? It was just all so confusing.</p><p>Suddenly the door chimed and Buck startled. The stray thought that he was saved by the bell ran through his mind. It took a moment for Eddie to stand up. He walked a little awkwardly over to the door, as if he wasn’t sure how to act. Could it be that he had been just as affected by their <em>moment</em> as Buck? Seriously, what had just happened?</p><p>Before Buck could freak out any more, the opening doors revealed the Captain. Eddie’s posture changed immediately as soon as he realised who was standing in front of him. Gone was soft relaxed Eddie. Now he was back to tense soldier Eddie. Buck briefly wondered why Eddie only seemed to fully relax when he was in Buck and Chris’s company. He always seemed to be just a little more rigid and closed-off whenever he was around other people, except for Buck and Chris.</p><p>Buck forgot all about his musings when he looked at Bobby and saw his serious face. Something was wrong.</p><p>“Eddie, I’d like to have a word with you about what—” Bobby started, but then he saw Buck sitting on the couch. “Buck? I didn’t expect you to be here.”</p><p>“Yeah, we—Eddie, Christopher and I, we—were going to play some video games,” Buck explained. He felt very defensive for some reason, as if he had no right to be here. But he did, didn’t he? Eddie had invited him here at his own free will. Still—now that the Captain was here, maybe he should leave.</p><p>“You know what? You two obviously have something to talk about, so I’ll just go,” he said, quickly jumping up from the couch.</p><p>“No!” Eddie and Christopher replied at the same time. Buck briefly glanced at Christopher’s worried eyes. His lip already had a hint of a pout. “Listen, Buck—,” Eddie started, grabbing Buck’s attention, “I’m sure it’s okay for the Captain if you stay. I don’t have a problem with you being here.” He turned to Bobby. “It is okay, right? Sir?”</p><p>Bobby looked from Eddie to Buck and back again. “Uh—yeah, sure—but Eddie, what I’m here to talk to you about has to do with some of your past, so I don’t know in how far—”</p><p>“Oh, that’s okay Sir,” Eddie interrupted him. “Buck knows all about my past. There is nothing new to learn there.”</p><p>Bobby looked surprised. “There isn’t?”</p><p>“Well, no—” Buck added. “We’ve exchanged some stories from our pasts, so if Eddie doesn’t mind that I stay—” He awkwardly trailed off. He couldn’t help it, he really wanted to stay. Spending time with the Diaz family was the highlight of his week and he didn’t want to go back to his empty quarters.</p><p>“I don’t,” Eddie firmly stated as he looked straight at Buck.</p><p>“All right then,” Bobby said. “Can I sit down for a moment?”</p><p>Eddie shot into action and gestured towards the empty armchair. “Yeah, of course,” he said. “Please, do sit down.” He walked over to the couch and sat down right next to Buck. He sat close enough for Buck to pick up on the warmth of his body. It was weirdly distracting.</p><p>As soon as they had all settled, Bobby awkwardly looked from Buck to Eddie. Buck wondered why he looked so uncomfortable. Bobby knew that they were friends right? Best friends even— So what was so unsettling about this? Maybe Bobby was surprised by the fact that Eddie hadn’t asked Buck to leave? After all, he did say he was there to talk about something very personal. That had to be it. But really, by now Buck knew almost all about Eddie that there was to know and vice versa—well, maybe not <em>everything</em>. He still hadn’t told his friend about half of his childhood and his relationship with his father. But, otherwise—Eddie knew everything.</p><p>“So Cap’— has Sheppard been found already?” Buck asked in an attempt to break the awkward tension.</p><p>Bobby looked troubled. “No, as soon as she fled the lab, she disappeared—with the other cannisters of Thoromic gas. There must have been a cloaked ship nearby that transported her off of the 118. This tells us that she wasn’t working alone.”</p><p>“Do we know what she was planning to blow up?” Eddie asked.</p><p>“Yeah— Athena found plans in her quarters. They were schematics of the shuttlebay. We’re pretty sure she had plans to blow up the shuttles and a part of the shuttlebay hull.” He sighed. “She seemed like such a lovely and bright young woman—I just don’t know what might have possessed her to attempt this. If Karen hadn’t caught her with the cannisters of Thoromic gas— I dread to think about what she would have done.”</p><p>“Did she work for someone?” Buck thought back to his interactions with Malia. It was hard to link the friendly ensign to such a crime.</p><p>“We don’t know,” Bobby replied. “Athena thinks that she probably did, because Thoromic gas is hard to come by for one civilian with nefarious plans. A bigger organisation however—” he trailed off. “But we can’t be sure.”</p><p>“Athena’s on it though,” Buck said reassuringly. “If anyone can crack this case wide open, it’s her.”</p><p>Bobby smiled proudly. “Yeah—I have faith she’ll work it out.” He then looked at Eddie with a determined look in his eye. Oh— Buck had seen that look before. He knew what it meant. Bobby was gearing himself up for a difficult conversation.</p><p>“Okay, so—Eddie,” he started. Buck could feel Eddie tense up next to him. He was clearly anticipating trouble. Maybe he thought that Bobby would disapprove of his rescue in the lab that morning. “I talked to Chimney. He told me that you aren’t all that happy on board.” Just like that, Buck felt how Eddie deflated as all of his pent-up tension disappeared. He sagged a little to the left, leaning more heavily into Buck’s side.</p><p>“Oh—” he said, “Yeah, I—I’m not—I mean, it isn’t that I’m not happy Sir. It’s more that I feel useless on board. I used to have purpose in life. When I was young it was being a good soldier and following orders. When Shannon and I lived on Mara IV, it was working on the field to make a good living for my family. That was my purpose. And then—on Sitèria—” Eddie seemed to space out for a moment as his memories dragged him back to the years he spent on that awful moon.</p><p>“Eddie?” Buck gently prodded. Eddie snapped out of it. He quickly glanced at Buck, smiling briefly to let him know he was okay. Then he looked back at Bobby.</p><p>“You have to understand Sir, on Sitèria all I could think about was Christopher. There was no room for anything else. When we had just crashed he was still so small and in so much pain. I just—I did everything to keep him alive. When it was clear that he would survive I realised that I had to keep myself alive as well, so I could keep caring for my son. So I worked out, bulked up to become stronger. I went hunting every night to find food and collect water. I built our dwelling. I just—I had as sense of <em>purpose</em>.”</p><p>“I understand,” Bobby said, holding up a hand. “Say no more. I understand.” He looked at Eddie with the kind of deep understanding of a man who had walked in Eddie’s shoes before. “However, I didn’t just come here because of what Chimney said. What you did this morning—”</p><p>“I’m sorry Captain!” Eddie interrupted him. Bobby looked surprised. “For what?”</p><p>“For not obeying your orders Sir,” he said. He looked worried. “I didn’t mean to defy them, but I couldn’t just idly stand by when people could be dying in that lab. And I feel that I made the right call. Hen informed me that Karen probably wouldn’t have made it if I hadn’t gone in there.”</p><p>“Eddie, I don’t think that’s what Bobby is here for,” Buck said, gently touching the man’s shoulder. He looked at Bobby. “Are you?”</p><p>“No, of course not,” Bobby immediately confirmed Buck’s statement. “Eddie, what you did was admirable. Besides, if I had to reprimand my crew every single time they defied orders for doing the right thing? Buck here would have already been banned from this ship.”</p><p>Buck grinned at Bobby. “You wouldn’t. You love having me around too much.”</p><p>“Unfortunately I actually <em>need</em> you around since you’re the only competent engineer on board,” Bobby shot back with a grin.</p><p>“Now now,” Buck replied cheekily, “Don’t put down my team like that. I’ll have you know that Albert Han is showing a lot of promise.”</p><p>Bobby snorted and laughed. Next to him, Buck could feel Eddie loosening up again as he happily laughed along.</p><p>“So—” Eddie started as soon as the laughter had died down, “If you are not here to reprimand me—then why are you here Sir?”</p><p>“Well, I was talking to Hen earlier and she informed me that you seem to possess some basic medical knowledge,” Bobby said. “When you pulled Karen out, you apparently gave her all the info she needed without her needing to ask for it.”</p><p>“Ah, well yeah—” Eddie replied. “I was trained as a field medic back when I served in the Martian Army. My dad was always looking for people to take the courses, but not many of the soldiers were interested in studying. I had always liked studying and I thought it sounded interesting. So, I signed up for one course. I ended up liking it so much that I signed up for every other course I could find. At one point I even entertained the notion of leaving Mars to study <em>Medicine</em> at Starfleet Academy, but my father found out and— well, let’s just say that his method of punishment was enough to dissuade me from the idea that I would ever be able to leave the Army.” Eddie looked down at his hands. He seemed defeated. “I would have liked to have gotten the opportunity though,” he softly added.</p><p>Buck felt like crying. Some people weren’t fit to ever become parents. Buck and Eddie’s parents were clear-cut examples of that. It was amazing how Eddie turned out to be nothing like his father when it came to being a parent to his son. He had clearly risen above his own upbringing.</p><p>Bobby looked at him sadly. Buck wondered if he was thinking about his own children and what kind of father he was to them? “Well, in that case— I might have some good news for you,” he finally said.</p><p>Eddie looked up at that.</p><p>“What would you think of helping out Hen in sickbay? She could use an extra set of hands and it would give you something to do.”</p><p>Buck marvelled at the changes Eddie’s face went through. It was as if the sun had suddenly started to shine after a long dark winter.</p><p>“Really?” He seemed a little gobsmacked with the offer. Almost as if he was sure that this might just be too good to be true.</p><p>“Yes really,” Bobby said, before casually adding, “As long as you are aboard the 118 the job is yours. Right up until we drop you off on Mars.”</p><p>It was like a bomb exploded right in front of Buck’s face.</p><p>He didn’t really hear anything that followed Bobby’s last statement as all he could hear was a repetition of—</p><p><em>-- drop you off on Mars</em>.</p><p>
  <em>--drop you off on Mars.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-- drop you—</em>
</p><p>Of course—</p><p>Eddie and Christopher were only aboard temporarily. Buck had known about this, but he had somehow chosen to ignore that knowledge completely. As if his best friend and son were going to stay on board forever.</p><p>And now he was brutally awoken by a casual remark made by Bobby.</p><p>Eddie and Chris were going to leave one day and he’d be all alone again.</p><p>And this thought didn’t make any sense, because he had his sister and a lot of good friends on the ship. So what was so different about this friendship compared to all the others?</p><p>That’s when it hit him full throttle. The rolling sensation in his stomach? The way he was always acutely aware of Eddie’s presence in a room, even if he wasn’t near to him? The way he sometimes lost track of a conversation if Eddie was standing close enough for him to feel the warmth of his body? The way he felt happy and carefree whenever he spent time with the man?</p><p>It all added up in his head and he could only come to one conclusion.</p><p>Maddie had been right.</p><p>Somewhere between the moment Eddie had first woken up in sickbay and right now, Buck had steadily started falling for Eddie. He was in love. It was the only explanation for feeling this horrible sense of emptiness whenever he thought about living without Eddie and Chris.</p><p>This was a disaster. How the hell had he not seen this coming for weeks now? Maybe it was because he had never fallen in love with a man before? He had always loved sex, no matter what gender his partner was. But when it came to love and romance, his past serious relationships had always been with women. He hadn’t expected his heart to start beating faster for a man, so he had rationalised his growing feelings as <em>friendship.</em></p><p>When he finally felt in control enough to rejoin the conversation, Bobby had already gotten up. He walked over to the door.</p><p>“That’s settled then,” he told Eddie. “I’ll inform Hen tomorrow morning. You’ll report to sickbay at 1 PM.”</p><p>Eddie nodded. “Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Bobby said. He looked at Buck who was still on the couch and nodded. “Buck.” Then he walked out. As soon as Bobby had left, Eddie immediately turned to him, grinning from ear to ear. “This calls for celebration!” He shouted as he ran over to Christopher, picked him up and swung him high up in the air. Christopher threw his head back and giggled out loud. After a quick hug, he put Chris back down.</p><p>Then he turned to Buck. Buck watched as Eddie walked up to him, grabbed on to his shoulders and pulled him up from the couch. He then curled his body around Buck’s, his face tucked into Buck’s neck. Buck froze for a second, unsure how to react. If Eddie had done this an hour ago Buck would have been elated for his friend and he undoubtedly would have hugged him back with enthusiasm. Now however, everything had changed for him. He was so much more aware of the curves of Eddie’s body as they fit perfectly with his own. It was as if they had been made for this.</p><p>He could feel Eddie’s hesitation as the man noticed Buck’s indecisiveness. He didn’t want to be an asshole though, so he finally relented and softly enfolded Eddie into his embrace. He closed his eyes as he tucked his nose into the nape of Eddie’s neck, breathing him in. He was determined to enjoy this as long as he was allowed. The memory would have to be enough to keep him warm long after Eddie had returned to Mars.</p><p>That night, for the first time since Abby, Buck felt completely happy again.</p><p>They had dinner, played video games and after Chris had gone to bed, he and Eddie had drunk Klingon blood wine in celebration of Eddie’s new assignment.</p><p>And when Buck finally made his way back to his quarters late at night, he could only think of the monumental mess he had made of his life. He had fallen for a guy who had zero romantic interest in him. Not just that— no, his best friend. The same best friend who would soon be leaving him to go back to a place that had treated him like garbage before. To top it all off? He had also fallen hard for said best friend’s perfect son.</p><p>Going on without them would be like missing a limb and he was already dreading the day that he would have to say goodbye.</p><p>He was so incredibly screwed.</p><p>---</p><p>Hen was in the middle of checking sickbay supplies when Eddie walked in. Karen saw him first. She was sitting up in bed, her left arm immobilized against her body. She looked so much better than when he had last seen her yesterday. She had been asleep when he visited Hen for his check-up. Now she looked bright and eager as she smiled and beckoned him closer with her right hand.</p><p>“Eddie hey!”</p><p>Eddie hesitated for a second before he shuffled closer. As soon as he was next to her, Karen grabbed on to his hand and tugged, so he had no choice but to bend down to her level. Karen gently pecked him on the cheek. “Thank you so much,” she whispered against his skin. Eddie swallowed down his emotions, “You’re welcome,” he answered, before pulling back from her embrace. He felt a little awkward. He had never quite mastered a correct response to people’s gratitude. It just always made him feel embarrassed.</p><p>---</p><p>Hen had missed Eddie’s entrance into sickbay. By the time she had noticed he was there, he was already being hugged by her wife. She looked away to give them a moment. They could probably both use that after such a traumatic experience.</p><p>A minute later she looked back at them. Karen had let go of the man and he looked all kinds of awkward. She smiled and shook her head. She had only known Eddi for three months, but in those months she had gotten to know him as a kind, generous and incredibly stubborn man. He was also the guy who had perfected emotional constipation to a T.</p><p>“So,” she said, breaking the tension. “Should I be worried?”</p><p>Both Karen and Eddie looked at her, the same confused look in their eyes.</p><p>“Well—I mean,” she pointed at Eddie, “You waltz in here, looking gorgeous and perfect— and the first thing my wife does is pull you down and kiss you. Are you after my woman Diaz? ‘Cause if you are? I should let you know that I am a woman of many hidden talents.”</p><p>Karen burst out in laughter at her words. Eddie shook his head and put up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I wouldn’t dream of it Hen. Besides, something tells me that I could use all my charms on her and she’d still pick you.”</p><p>“You’re damn right she’d pick me,” Hen said, looking at her wife. She walked up to her bed. Karen held out her hand and Hen grabbed on to it to lace their fingers together.</p><p>“Only you babe,” Karen told her, gazing in her eyes.</p><p>Oh, those eyes. Hen could get lost in them. The most beautiful set of brown eyes she had ever seen on anyone. Only Denny’s eyes came close to that.</p><p>Eddie cleared his throat. “Uhm— Cap’ told me to report to sickbay for duty, so—”</p><p>Hen looked at him, still holding on tightly to her wife’s hand. “Yeah, I made the suggestion to Bobby. Yesterday, when you—” she paused for a moment. Karen gently squeezed her hand in support, “when you saved Karen, I couldn’t help but notice that you seemed to know what you were doing. So, when Cap’ told me that you were looking for something to do around the ship, I naturally thought of sickbay duty.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Eddie replied, sincerity in his voice. “I tried to do my best yesterday.”</p><p>“Oh—you did more than your best Eddie. You were great out there. And because of that Karen is still here to tell the tale.” She looked at her wife again. Ever since yesterday Hen has had some trouble to look away from Karen for too long. As if she would disappear if she looked away.</p><p>“No, I—I—think you’re giving me too much credit here Hen,” Eddie interrupted. “I just pulled Karen out. You are the one who used all your medical skills to heal her.”</p><p>“Eddie Diaz!” Hen angrily shouted. “Don’t you dare diminish the act of saving my wife’s life as a small insignificant footnote in history.”</p><p>Eddie looked a little intimidated. “Okay—" he trailed off.</p><p>“Hen!” Karen hissed. She smiled at Eddie apologetically. “You better listen to her when she gets like this Eddie. If you don’t— things could get very frightening.”</p><p>Eddie grinned at her. “Okay, since you are the expert in all things Hen Wilson, I’ll follow your lead.”</p><p>“Well, I’ll be—are you two conspiring against me now? Well well—I did not see this betrayal coming Karen.” Hen looked down at Karen with love in her eyes. Karen beckoned her closer and pulled her close enough to kiss her.</p><p>Eddie glanced away, giving them their moment.</p><p>A few seconds later Hen pulled away from her wife and looked at Eddie. “So, Eddie—are you ready to learn more about medicine?”</p><p>“Yes ma’am,” he said, beaming wildly at her. Hen was taken aback. It was a rare feat to see Eddie Diaz this happy. The only other times she had seen him smile so openly like that, it had all been directed at Christopher—and maybe Buck? Either way, when he smiled so happily he bore a remarkable resemblance to his son.</p><p>“Well, then— I’ve heard from the Captain that you have taken some EMT courses on Mars. let’s start with what you’ve learned in those courses. We’ll set a base-line and take it from there,” Hen proposed.</p><p>“Okay,” Eddie agreed, nodding at her. “I don’t know that much though. I was trained as a medic, but that’s mainly first aid. As soon as people were evacuated from the battle field, they were someone else’s problem.”</p><p>“Good enough for me Eddie. Your knowledge of first aid is what saved my wife, so that’s plenty enough in my book.” Hen looked down at Karen. Her wife had settled down on the bed and had fallen into a light sleep. She was mostly all right now, but the ordeal had taken a lot out of her. She was still very tired.</p><p>“Come on,” she whispered, gesturing to Eddie to follow her to the workstation. “Let’s talk over there, so Karen can sleep.” Eddie followed her over to the nearest workstation. “Before we start—do you need to stop early today? To pick up Christopher from school. I know how it is with kids. If we didn’t have Carla to step in for us during busy days, I don’t know what I’d do.”</p><p>Eddie looked at her and smiled reassuringly. “Yeah, I hear you—but no, thanks. Buck’s got it covered.”</p><p>Hen’s eyebrows climbed up her forehead as she studied Eddie for a moment. “Buck huh? You and Buck have been spending a whole lot of time together lately,” she stated.</p><p>Eddie grinned. “Yeah—he’s turned out to be a real good friend. I’ve been alone for so long that I’d forgotten what it was like to have friends, let alone a <em>best</em> friend. And it’s strange— I know I’ve only known him for a couple of months, but for some reason I just trust him completely— even with my son,” he mused. He looked up at Hen. He seemed a little surprised by his own revelation. “That’s kind off odd, isn’t it?”</p><p>Hen shook her head and smiled indulgently at him. “Not really. When I  grew up we had a dog. Its name was Lucky. Man I loved that dog. He was a Golden Retriever and for some reason Buck always reminds me of Lucky. No matter what, he’s always there to be whomever or whatever you need him to be. So, am I surprised you struck such a great friendship so soon? No, not really. That’s our Buckaroo for ya.”</p><p>Eddie pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah, he is pretty great.”</p><p>“That he is,” Hen agreed. She watched on as something complicated happened to Eddie’s face, as if he himself wasn’t quite certain how to categorize his friendship with Buck. Hen however had an inkling just what kind of friend Buck was to Eddie. A while ago, Karen had told her to leave it well enough alone, but there isn’t anything wrong with some simple speculation, is there?</p><p>She just hoped that the two men would work it out in time, preferable <em>before</em> Eddie would leave for Mars.</p><p>---</p><p>“Bobby, I’ve found something on—” Athena paused as soon as she realised that her husband wasn’t alone in his ready room. Buck was there. The two were sitting on opposite sides of Bobby’s desk, studying what appeared to be schematics of shuttlecrafts.</p><p>“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you two. I’ll come back later,” she was ready to walk out when Bobby called her back.</p><p>“No, Athena—wait. It’s okay. Come on in. Buck and I were just finishing up here anyway.” Bobby smiled at her. She looked at Buck who nodded in agreement.</p><p>“All right then,” she said, walking further into the room. She studied Buck for a moment. He looked good. In fact—he looked really good. He seemed to be glowing. She remembered Buck like this from when he first started dating Abby. Wait—was he dating again? This was new. And oh—Athena needed to get to the bottom of this.</p><p>She sat down on Bobby’s couch and addressed Buck. “So, Buck-- how are you? I don’t see you around a lot these days. What have you been up to?”</p><p>Buck blushed and looked down. He suddenly seemed very interested in his shoes.</p><p>Out of character behaviour that Athena found highly interesting. Before she could ask him anything else though, Bobby cut in.</p><p>“So—how is Eddie doing? Is he happy working for Hen?” Bobby asked.</p><p>Athena wondered why on Earth her husband was asking Buck if Eddie liked working for Hen. If anything, shouldn’t he ask Eddie?</p><p>Buck’s blush deepened. “He seems very happy these days Sir,” he started. “Ever since he started working in sickbay he laughs a lot more and overall he—he is just in a better mood. He keeps talking my ears off with all the interesting medical stuff he’s learning from Hen. So I think it’s a raging success.”</p><p>“Excellent,” Bobby said, seemingly unsurprised that Buck was apparently spending a lot of time with Eddie. He glanced over at Athena. She raised an eyebrow in question, but he quickly shook his head. Athena had known her husband long enough to realise that he didn’t want to discuss this in front of Buck. She’d get her turn as soon as Buck had left.</p><p>“Speaking of—" Buck said, “I have to go. I promised Eddie I’d pick up Chris today since he has to work a late shift.”</p><p>Bobby’s eyes widened for a second. And Athena just couldn’t help herself—</p><p>“Oh—” she innocently replied. “Been spending a lot of time with Christopher as well?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Buck said. His smile reaching from ear to ear. “That kid is amazing. The greatest kid I’ve ever met.”</p><p>“Oh, really now?” Athena said. She stared dryly at Buck.</p><p>“Oh—” Buck backpedalled, “of course Harry and May are great kids as well and I like them a lot. You know that Athena. But Christopher—him I—I—” His eyes clouded up with that certain quality you only see in the eyes of a parent when they think about their children—pure adoration.</p><p>Athena held her breath for a moment as she suddenly understood. So that’s how it was.</p><p>“Well—” Bobby said, breaking the silence, “You’d better leave then Buck. School ends in 10 minutes.”</p><p>“Oh yes! Thanks Bobby,” Buck said. He stood up and nodded at both of them. “Captain. Lieutenant.”</p><p>Athena briefly nodded back. “Chief.”</p><p>As soon as Buck had walked away, Athena looked at Bobby. “When were you going to tell me about this—” she gestured at the door Buck just walked through, “-- little development? Were you even planning on telling me at all?”</p><p>Bobby smiled at her in amusement. “You want me to gossip about my crew now ‘Thena?”</p><p>Athena glared at him. “Computer, lock the door.” She stalked over to Bobby and sat down in his lap. “Well, the way I see it—it’s not really gossiping when you share vital information to your Chief of Security. After all, it is my job to keep the peace on board. It’s imperative that I know everything that’s going on, even if it’s about the crew.”</p><p>Bobby held on tight to her waist. “Is it now?”</p><p>Athena nodded. “Uhm-um.”</p><p>“Tell me— how is Buck having a crush on Eddie a possible security risk? Or does it maybe have something to do with his adoration for Eddie’s son?”</p><p>“Well—you got me there,” Athena said, sliding her arms around Bobby’s neck. “There isn’t really a risk. But I just really want to know all the details.”</p><p>Bobby laughed out loud. “Yeah, I’m sure you do,” he said, before pulling her down and kissing her.</p><p>It took a few minutes but eventually Athena pulled back. “So—Buck and Eddie huh?” she asked.</p><p>Bobby nodded. “To be honest? I’m not sure about Eddie. Buck is all heart-eyes these days, but Eddie is harder to read. All I know is that— when I went over to Eddie’s quarters last week to talk to him about Hen’s proposition, Buck was already there. I can’t really explain it, but it was almost as if he belonged there. They were so at ease with each other, all three of them. It’s just—Athena, they went from total strangers to best friends in such a short time. It might sound corny, but it’s almost as if they were meant to be,” Bobby explained. He threw up his hands. “I honestly don’t know what to make of it.”</p><p>“The only people who need to figure this out is Eddie and Buck,” Athena said. “We can only hope that no one gets hurt in the process.” Bobby looked at her, a clear question in his eyes. Athena shook her head. “Don't forget that Eddie and Christopher are supposed to leave in a couple of months. If they do—well, then that’ll be <i>another person</i> walking away from Buck.” Bobby studied her for a moment an nodded. “I know. I worry about him. And then there’s the whole Sheppard issue—” he added.</p><p>Athena waited for the rest and Bobby didn’t disappoint. “I don’t know—it just seems like too much of a coincidence. You know?” He said, looking for confirmation in his wife’s eyes. “First we rescue the heir to the throne of the Martian Army and a few months later someone we trusted had plans to blow up part of the ship. It just doesn’t feel right Athena—I’m not saying that Eddie has anything to do with this, but there is something there. A connection we might be missing. Am I wrong? Am I seeing things that aren’t there?”</p><p>Athena studied his face. “I don’t know Bobby. I get where you’re coming from. I feel the same way. But we need to remember that we have very little to go on right now. Sheppard seems to have vanished into thin air and her personnel file turned out to be a complete work of fiction. Whether or not this has something to do with the Martian Army is all up to speculation and that’s a dangerous road to travel on. If it is the Army, I don’t think Eddie knows anything about it. But hey— for all we know Sheppard was just crazy and likes blowing things up in her free time. Bottom line is—we don’t know <em>anything</em> right now, so until we find more evidence, we can’t make any assumptions.”</p><p>Bobby nodded in agreement. “Yeah—"</p><p>“Now,” Athena said. She settled a little more comfortably on Bobby’s lap. “You were about to take a 30 minute break.”</p><p>“Was I?” Bobby asked. He looked mesmerised by her.</p><p>“You were,” she added seductively. “You’ve already lost 5 minutes, so let’s make the best of the lasting 25— Captain.”</p><p>“I approve of this idea Lieutenant,” Bobby said, pulling her a little closer.</p><p>“I knew you would see it my way—Sir.” Athena smirked and bent down with the intention to kiss her husband.</p><p>“I always do,” Bobby murmured against her lips and gave in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to know when I update. :)</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter. If you did, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on this story. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Epiphany</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>If he had ever wished for confirmation of Eddie’s feelings for him, that had been it. The ultimate nail in his coffin. And it had hurt like hell damn it. He quickly pulled himself together before he would do something embarrassing like burst out into tears. This wasn’t the time or place for a breakdown. He’d save that for after the emergency.</p><p>“Okay then, now that we’re all here. I’ll walk you through this emergency, so you all know what we’re walking into,” Chim started.</p><p>And this sounded serious. Buck was intrigued.</p><p>AKA The plot thickens as a big emergency goes wrong and people get seriously hurt. The firefam rallies together to save one of their own. Buck's heart gets broken into tiny pieces while Eddie is a dumbass and a badass at the same time. There are some big epiphanies along the way.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is looooooong! It's about 25 pages in Word. It took me longer to post this because I edited the chapter about 7 times until I was completely satisfied with it. Did I ever tell you that I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my writing? It could probably do with an eighth edit, but I'm throwing in the towel at this point. I just want to post this so I can see what you all think of it. I'm so excited, because I loved writing this chapter so much. :)</p><p>Also, I'm a big supporter of soft Eddie being soft, but badass Eddie makes me swoon, so yeah-- there's some of both Eddie's in this chapter. ;)</p><p>TW: there is a very small scene in this fic that depicts some inappropriate non-consensual groping. Nothing else happens, so don't worry. I'm not changing the overall rating of the fic because it's just one little scene and the emotional fall-out gets dealt with appropriately and the character involved moves past it. It's quite easy to skip the scene if you don't want to read it-- you'll still be able to follow the story.</p><p>REAL LIFE UPDATE: I'm about to start working again next week. From that point on there might be bigger breaks between chapters. Don't worry, I'm not talking months or something like that, but maybe two weeks between chapters instead of one week. That could be possible. It'll all depend on my work schedule. I'm hopeful it'll be a good one, but I'm also realistic. But again-- rest assured, this fic will be finished.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m telling you Buck, the tsarina was hitting on you.” Eddie smirked at Buck. They were heading back to Eddie and Christopher’s quarters after a long day of fun on the surface of Kenna II. The planet was well-known as ‘the planet of fun’, so when the 118 had swooped in to save the royal family from a flood, they had been invited for a visit. They had spent the day at the beach, catching waves, digging in the sand and building sandcastles—technically all things you could do on a holodeck, but there was just something extra about it when it was the real deal.</p><p>Buck sighed. “Eddie—quit it already. She must have been what? Ninety years old? At least. She was not hitting on me.”</p><p>“Whatever man. I know what I saw. That woman was blatantly checking out your ass as we were leaving the palace.” Eddie couldn’t quite get over the image of the sweet-looking old lady leering at Buck as if he was a piece of meat she’d love to take a bite out. He was laughing about it now, but at that moment it had been quite unsettling. He didn’t like people objectifying his friend like that. It left a foul taste in his mouth.</p><p>“Yeah well--,” Buck said. He suddenly stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned away from him, shaking his butt a couple of times as he laughed. “Can you blame her?”</p><p>Eddie’s breath stuttered for a moment at the sight. His cheeks were on fire. Thank God his olive complexion saved him from Buck noticing his too obvious blush. Christopher’s loud giggles at Buck’s display pulled Eddie out of his stupor. He quickly covered his son’s eyes and pretended to be scandalised. “Buck—not in front of the child damn it! He is too young. He is not ready for the shaking of your booty.”</p><p>“Daaaad!” Chris called out. He tried to squirm out of his father’s hold. Eddie grinned and bent down to blow a raspberry on his neck, which resulted in another high giggle. Only then did he let him go.</p><p>Buck was staring at them with that fond smile that had been making more and more of an appearance lately. Eddie wondered sometimes what all that was about. But every time he noticed and started looking back, Buck snapped out of it and carried on as if nothing had happened. So Eddie never asked.</p><p>Besides, he had a more pressing problem to deal with these days. He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly it had happened in the six months he had known Buck, but somewhere along the line he had started looking at his friend through a different lens. It had started small with him making up stupid flimsy excuses to be near Buck more often, just to bask in his warm presence. Then one day he had caught himself daydreaming of Buck in the middle of treating a patient in sickbay. It didn’t help that Buck was always around doing nice things for him and Christopher, like that time when he had shown up with fresh ingredients to cook something from scratch. Apparently Christopher had told him that Eddie was a terrible cook, which was the truth, but still— it had been a stab through the heart to have been betrayed by his own flesh and blood.</p><p>Eddie had had a lot of friends growing up, but none of them ever walked the extra mile for him, not like this. Sure, they would cover him during battle and they were willing to kill someone for him. But Buck—Buck took care of him. He treated him with kindness and made him feel safe. That was a novel experience for Eddie and he couldn’t get enough of it.</p><p>The absolute best part of having Buck around was that the other man made him feel at ease in his company. When Buck was around, he felt <em>seen</em>. He had gone unnoticed for so long that Buck’s full attention on him was a heady rush that always left him wanting for more. He ached for the man’s attention. He hadn’t yearned for anyone’s regard like that since Shannon— and wasn’t that a little fucked up?  So many things to unpack there and Eddie hadn’t a clue where to begin.</p><p>How did you begin to analyse feelings you didn’t even know you were capable of having? Never before had he wanted to be <em>seen</em> by a man before, but he knew he definitely wanted to be seen by Buck. It had snuck up on him so unexpectedly. Before he had first stepped aboard the 118 he had never looked at a man and seen anything else but friendship, but then all of a sudden there was Buck. Tall handsome Buck—broad chest, long well-defined legs that went on for miles, a sunshine smile and gorgeous blue eyes that shone like stars. How was he supposed to not be affected by that?</p><p>He supposed it might be a normal physical thing because of all the time he spent with his friend. After all, he had been operating in survival-mode for seven long years. There had been very little time to think of sex and certainly not a lot of opportunity to act on those feeling and let off some steam. Wherever he was, Christopher was always close-by. The only time he had been able to have some me-time was when he took a sonic shower. Thank God that shower had never broken down, ‘cause it had provided them with a chance to clean up properly and it had specifically provided Eddie with a place to jerk-off without his son being able to hear him. And even then, he had always been extra quiet and careful while taking care of business, a vague feeling of guilt popping up at the most inconvenient of times. There he was, taking a moment to enjoy himself while his wife was long buried beneath the Sitèrian soil. At times, that thought alone had been enough to quench his lust.</p><p>All of that had led to this specific moment in time where he could no longer deny that he found Buck incredibly attractive and he was definitely not alone in thinking that. Even today, on Kenna II—Eddie had been very aware that, the moment they entered the conference room of the royal palace, all eyes had been on Buck. He attracted looks by just being his own smiley self. He had this way about him, a self-assuredness that was very attractive to people because it wasn’t about ego. It was just Buck being Buck, friendly and respectful toward anyone who took the time to talk to him.</p><p>And then there had been the beach. It had been a true test of Eddie’s character as Buck had strut around clad only in his swim trunks, splashing around in the water with Christopher, looking all kinds of mesmerising. Eddie had sat on the beach, watching them. Once in a while Buck had looked over at him, his eyes sparkling with mirth as he once again went after a giggling Christopher. Eddie had stared at them for what felt like hours.</p><p>Eventually they had left the water and ran back to him to wrap themselves in big fluffy towels, basking in the warmth of the three suns. Buck’s birthmark above his left eye had looked more prominent as he had sat there, soaking up the sun. It was a stunning sight. <em>Without</em> the mark he was beautiful, but <em>with</em> it he was gorgeous and unique. Mostly though—mostly Eddie liked Buck’s hands. His big beautiful hands, sometimes <em>tender</em> when he hugged Christopher, other times sturdy and <em>capable</em> as he was fixing something. Eddie’s mind had occasionally wandered off thinking about all the other things Buck could do with those hands.</p><p>And man— he was very aware that he was being so creepy right now. He was doing the exact same thing that he disliked other people doing— thinking about Buck as a slab of meat, objectifying him while Buck was so much more than his good looks. He didn’t deserve Eddie slobbering all over him just because he hadn’t get laid in a couple of years.</p><p>Maybe this was a sign? Maybe it was time for him to get back in the saddle again? There was definitely room for some romance in his life. He had met some interesting women on board, one in particular came to mind—Ana Flores. She was a shuttle expert and flight instructor to any of the new crew that boarded the ship. She had first come into sickbay with an abrasion to her leg as she had fallen down the ramp of a shuttle when a visiting Vulcan had startled her. The man had been walking around shuttle bay without permission and she hadn’t expected to meet anyone there in the middle of the night.</p><p>She was very beautiful with her darker complexion and her curly hair. Her eyes had just popped as she had batted her eyelashes at him. To Hen’s endless amusement, he had immediately been captivated by her and he had bumbled his way through a very awkward conversation. According to Hen, he had ‘no game’, but he was convinced that he had just been taken by surprise and he told Hen that a next meeting would certainly go a lot smoother. And he was right for the most part. He had since met up with Ana a couple of times in the mess for lunch and it had always gone very smoothly. Their conversations had been interesting and he had always left the mess feeling quite content. So maybe he should take the leap and ask her out? Would it be fair though? He was still set to leave the 118 as soon as they travelled back to Earth, so was it fair to Ana to start something they could never finish?</p><p>Thinking of leaving the ship brought him back to thinking about Buck. Christopher would no doubt be heartbroken, but Eddie had to admit that thinking of leaving Buck behind made his own stomach drop as well. A clear sign that he was definitely more invested in his friendship with Buck than a possible tentative new romance with Ana. So was it really worth pursuing her?</p><p>He was so confused. He had never really been <em>in touch</em> with his emotions and trying to figure out this mess of feelings was just impossible.</p><p>Maybe he should talk about this to Buck? Just the Ana part, because the other part about this thing he has for Buck—no—just no.</p><p>Perhaps his friend could shed some light on the subject of Ana Flores, because Eddie sure as hell didn’t have a clue where to begin. Buck always seemed to be more in touch with his emotions than him. Maybe he could point him in the right direction? Give him some tips on how to proceed with this.</p><p>“Eddie?” Buck’s voice pulled him out of his inner turmoil. As he looked back, Buck and Christopher were waiting at the door of their quarters, both with the same questioning look in their eyes. It was strange how alike those two were sometimes. Most people seemed to naturally assume that Buck was Chris’ dad when they saw them together. In the beginning Buck had always taken the time to set them straight, but after a while he had just let it pass. Eddie hadn’t minded, because he knew how much Buck loved Chris. He obviously preened whenever someone mistook him for Chris’ dad, mostly because he was convinced that Chris was the coolest kid in the universe and there was nothing Eddie could really say to that because he wholeheartedly agreed.</p><p>“Yeah yeah,” he finally replied, “coming.”</p><p>After opening the door Christopher immediately disappeared into the bathroom, calling dibs on the shower. “I’ve never seen him move that fast in my life.” Eddie laughed at the sight of his son scurrying to the bathroom, almost stumbling over his crutches. He caught Buck staring at the bathroom door fondly. There was that look again.</p><p>With Christopher being occupied for at least half an hour, maybe now was the time for Eddie to talk to Buck about his budding feelings for Ana. He gingerly sat down in the armchair.</p><p>Buck was busying himself with folding the towels they had used when Eddie finally mustered up the guts.</p><p>“Hey Buck?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Buck absently replied.</p><p>“Can I talk to you for a moment? I could use some advice on something.”</p><p>Buck smiled at him. “Yeah sure, hold on--” Buck abandoned the towels and sat down on the couch. “Shoot,” he encouraged Eddie.</p><p>Eddie swallowed. Was he really going to do this? Open up to someone about his non-existent, hopefully soon to exist, love-life? Here went nothing—</p><p>“So—uhm, lately I’ve been having some feelings— <em>romantic</em> feelings for someone and I’m not quite sure what to do about it.” Better to just get straight to the point.</p><p>Buck stared at him. He seemed perplexed. He clearly hadn’t seen this conversation coming and now Eddie felt even more awkward. “Uhm—you know what?” He quickly backed out. “I shouldn’t have told you. It makes things weird, doesn’t it? Yeah—I’m sorry. I’ll shut up now.”</p><p>Buck put up his hands. “No no—Eddie, it’s okay. You can talk to me about—romance. It’s just that—you caught me a little off-guard, that’s all. I— I didn’t know that there was someone that had caught your eye.” Buck explained. Eddie noticed that he had gone a little pale, so he hesitated. “Are you sure?”</p><p>Buck nodded. “Yeah, absolutely—talk to me,” he replied. He almost seemed to harden himself for the conversation. And man—Buck really disliked talking about romance. Eddie had not seen that coming at all. Usually his friend was prepared to talk about anything with him, but clearly the fall-out from his break with Abby still ran deep. But— Buck had said that it was okay to talk about it to him and he really could use a voice of reason to make some sense of it all.</p><p>“Okay, if you really don’t mind—” he started, giving Buck an out if he still wanted one. The other man just kept on stubbornly staring at him, his normally enigmatic face now placid and devoid of all emotions.</p><p>“It’s just—I’ve been alone on Sitèria for seven years and when I was there all I could afford to think about was Christopher and how to keep <em>him</em>, and therefore also <em>myself</em> alive. I had no time to think of all the things that I’d lost when I crashed there—” he trailed off.</p><p>“Sex,” Buck crassly finished. Eddie looked down, too embarrassed to look his friend in the eye anymore. “Yeah—and love.” He added.</p><p>“Love—” Buck repeated softly. “You ah—you’ve fallen in <em>love</em> with someone on board?” His tone was peculiar as he said it. Eddie looked up at him. Buck looked even more pale than before. His eyes—usually so alive, seemed to have lost all energy. “Buck—are you okay?” He had to ask, because Buck looked like he was about to faint any second now. Did he eat something wrong on the planet or was Eddie’s love-life too uncomfortable for him to talk about?</p><p>“Yeah—I’m fine. Go on,” Buck urged him on.</p><p>“Well—do you know Ana Flores?”</p><p>Buck swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down a couple of times. “Yeah—I know her. We uh—we have worked together to improve the shuttles’ reaction time. So—you like her?”</p><p>“Yeah, I think I do. We’ve been meeting up in the mess to have lunch together for a while now and I’ve been thinking of asking her out. But—” Eddie caught his friend’s eyes to gauge his reaction.</p><p>Buck took a deep breath and looked away from him, which was odd since Buck was usually the one to make eye-contact. He once explained to Eddie why he thought eye-contact was so important during a serious conversation. Something about showing genuine interest in what the other person was talking about. Did this mean that he wasn’t interested in this conversation? Was he boring his friend with his romantic troubles? But Buck was usually so ready to talk about anything—it didn’t make sense.</p><p>“But?” Buck encouraged him. He turned back to face Eddie, a glint of determination in his eyes, his body language open and invititing. Eddie let go of the breath he had been holding. Clearly he had read the situation wrong. Buck looked fine now.</p><p>“But—” he repeated, “I’m not here to stay. I’m leaving between this and 6 months. Is it really fair to start something with her when there’s a time-limit on my stay here.”</p><p>If possible Buck had paled even more. “Yeah right—” he said, “I’d almost managed to forget that you and Chris are going to be gone one day.” Whereas his eyes had looked determined before, now they just looked sad.</p><p>“Oh Buck—I’m sorry, I didn’t think this through. I didn’t mean—” Eddie started, already feeling bad for being so insensitive and reminding his friend that their time together was limited.</p><p>“No no, it’s okay—I mean, It’s not <em>okay</em> of course,” Buck said, making quote marks around the last okay, “but I knew you were leaving. It wasn’t news. I mean—I’ll miss you guys a lot of course. My life has definitely improved over the last six months.” He smiled sadly at Eddie.</p><p>“Yeah, same here buddy,” Eddie replied. His gut felt heavy with an emotion he couldn’t quite name. The thought of leaving Buck just didn’t sit well with him at all.</p><p>“You should ask her out,” Buck spit out. Eddie’s head spun a little. Talk about a topic-change. “Really? You think so?” Eddie wasn’t convinced.</p><p>“Yeah—sure,” Buck said. He leaned over and rested his elbows on his upper thighs. He took a moment to collect his thoughts. “I mean—life is short right? And you—Eddie—you deserve to be happy.” He smiled encouragingly at him. “After all the shit you’ve been through in your life, you deserve a break and some happiness and—” He stopped for a moment and looked at the ground before he continued, “and if Ana is where that happiness lies, then I think you should grab on to it with both hands and not let go.” He looked pained now. Eddie felt uncomfortable just looking at him. It was almost as if this conversation was draining him.</p><p>“Yeah—” Eddie finally replied, “maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll ask her tomorrow during lunch.”</p><p>Buck smiled at him. It seemed forced as hell. “You do that,” he answered listlessly. Eddie was worried now. What was going on with his friend? Maybe he was interested in Ana himself? He did mention that they have worked together in the past and if Buck was interested in the woman he wasn’t going to interfere with that.</p><p>“Buck, are you—” That’s as far as he got before they were interrupted by Buck’s comm badge chiming.</p><p>“Captain Nash to Chief Buckley.”</p><p>Eddie didn’t miss the relieved look on Buck’s face as he tapped the badge to answer.</p><p>“Buckley here.”</p><p>“Buck, gear up and get down to transporter room 2 immediately. We have an emergency. Chim knows the details. He’ll update you on the specifics.”</p><p>“Yes Sir,” Buck replied. He looked back at Eddie. “Sorry man, but—” He gestured at the door.</p><p>“Yeah yeah, of course, duty calls,” Eddie said. He knew exactly what that was like.</p><p>Buck strode to the door. “Hey Buck!” Eddie spoke up.</p><p>Buck briefly glanced back. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Good luck.” He allowed some of the concern to show in his eyes.</p><p>Buck grinned at him and this time it reached his eyes. The first real grin in fifteen minutes. “Won’t need it. I’m just that good.” Then he turned and walked out.</p><p>Eddie smiled to himself. No one would ever accuse Buck of being modest. Even though Eddie was well aware that it was all just a front to hide some of the unease he sometimes felt underneath. Just another thing that made him such an amazing person to be around. He got up and busied himself with the towels Buck had abandoned earlier.</p><p>That was settled then. Tomorrow he’d ask Ana out on a proper date. He’d figure out the whole leaving for Mars at a later time. The idea of going on a date with Ana filled him with dread though. He couldn’t help but wonder why the idea of going out with a beautiful and amazing woman would make him feel like this. Shouldn’t he be more excited?</p><p>Before he could get lost into his own musings, Chis walked out of the bathroom.</p><p>“Where is Buck?” he asked, looking around the room as if Buck had hidden behind the couch or something.</p><p>“Buck had to leave. There was an emergency,” Eddie explained. He was immediately faced with a sad pout. “Oh come on, none of that.” Eddie picked up his son. “It’ll be just me and you, like the olden days,” he said, smiling at Chris to make him feel better. “Okay then—” Chris said, giggling as Eddie started tickling him, “I guess I can put up with just you for once.”</p><p>Then there was nothing but joy as he put the rest of his concerns aside.</p><p>---</p><p>When Buck arrived in transporter room 2, Chimney was already briefing the rest of the team on the emergency. Next to him and Chimney, there was Hen, T’Nack and Brad Jenkins. The latter two were part of Athena’s security team. Now Buck was curious what they were getting themselves into, since security was not standard operation for an emergency.</p><p>“Buck, nice of you to join us,” Chimney said. He sent Buck a withering stare.</p><p>“I’m sorry Sir, but I wasn’t in my quarters when the Captain informed me of the emergency. I had to go to my quarters to change first.” Buck smiled apologetically at Chim. He wasn’t about to tell the First Officer that he was late because he had needed a couple of extra minutes to nurse his broken heart after his little <em>talk</em> with Eddie. He was still reeling from their conversation, even now—grief was burrowing itself into every fibre of his body. If he had ever wished for confirmation of Eddie’s feelings for him, that had been it. The ultimate nail in his coffin. And it had hurt like hell damn it. He quickly pulled himself together before he would do something embarrassing like burst out into tears. This wasn’t the time or place for a breakdown. He’d save that for after the emergency.</p><p>“Okay then, now that we’re all here. I’ll walk you through this emergency, so you all know what we’re walking into,” Chim started.</p><p>And this sounded serious. Buck was intrigued.</p><p>“We have picked up a two-day old signal from an emergency beacon located on the outer rim of Romulan space. Apparently there’s a Bolian freighter in need. It isn’t clear what’s going on aboard the ship though. It appears to be completely dead in space. We scanned the ship for life signs, but there weren’t any. The Captain still wants us to check it out. He has already contacted Romulan Ambassador Keleth to ask for permission to access Romulan space. The Ambassador took it up with Praetor Serreel and access was granted to us. The Romulans made it very clear however, that they were not going to help us if we would run into any trouble.”</p><p>“Friendly bunch,” Jenkins quipped. Chimney grinned. “Yeah well—at least we get to go check it out. Scanners aren’t always right. There could still be people alive on board. We need to know for sure.”</p><p>“Is there breathable air?” Hen asked.</p><p>“Yeah, that should be fine. Be aware that we don’t have any obvious indication why the ship got into trouble.  There could be a third party involved, which is why we are joined by T’Nack and Jenkins.”</p><p>Jenkins smirked at them while T’Nack stoically looked on as always, as good Vulcans are prone to do.</p><p>“Keep your phasers to stun at all times. We don’t shoot unless we have to.” Chimney made eye contact with each and everyone of them. Checking if they were all on the same page. “Got it?”</p><p>“Yes Sir,” they all replied in unison.</p><p>“Good, then let’s go.” They all took place on the transporter platform as Chimney ordered the transporter engineer to beam them over to the freighter. As soon as they rematerialized on board of the Bolian ship Jenkins and T’Nack took out their phasers. Buck reached for his tricorder instead in order to scan the room they were in. They were in one of the cargo bays and the place was packed with big wooden crates.</p><p>“Hen— life signs,” Chimney ordered.</p><p>“Yeah, still nothing Sir. If there is anyone alive on this ship, they are shielded against any kind of scan.” Hen walked over to the door, flanked by T’Nack. Meanwhile Buck explored the cargo bay, trying to find anything strange in the readings he was receiving. But there was nothing out of the ordinary.</p><p>“Sir,” he called out to Chim.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“There’s nothing remarkable to find here. We are good to move on.”</p><p>“All right people. You know what to do,” Chimney ordered. Now they all pulled out their phasers. Chimney moved over to the door where Hen and T’Nack were already waiting. “Okay, let’s do this,” Chimney said. As he touched the access panel, the door whooshed open without any resistance.</p><p>The team slowly walked into the corridor. “The bridge should be that way Sir,” T’Nack said, pointing to the left. Buck had other ideas. “Sir, I’d like to take a look in main engineering. Maybe we can find something there.” Chimney regarded him shortly. “Okay, Jenkins—you and Buck go right to check out the engine room. Hen, T’Nack and I will go to the bridge to see if we can find the Captain’s logs. Maybe they’ll shed some light on what happened here.”</p><p>“Yes Sir,” Jenkins said. Buck nodded at Chim before turning right.</p><p>“Man, these Bolian freighters are always so dark and moist,” Jenkins complained, wiping the sweat off his forehead.</p><p>Buck smirked. “Well, the Bolians really like their surroundings to be very humid. Their home planet is basically one big tropical rainforest. High humidity is necessary to keep their skin hydrated. If it were any drier here, their skin would dry out and start peeling off.”</p><p>Jenkins shuddered. “Eeew, how do you always know the weirdest things Chief?”</p><p>“Ha, <em>reading</em> Brad. You should try it sometimes,” Buck quipped, smirking at him.</p><p>“Ha ha Sir, very funny. I’ll have you know that I’ve been reading a lot of books now with the baby on the way and all. Clu’tcka keept telling me to ease up a little. He’s convinced the knowledge of caring for the baby will come to us naturally, but I don’t think that—” He suddenly stopped talking and froze. Buck automatically stopped next to him. He trusted the man to keep him safe. “What is it?” he whispered.</p><p>“I’m not sure—” Jenkins said. He looked behind them in the corridor and then back ahead. “I thought I heard something, but there aren’t any life signs on the tricorder, so—maybe I’m wrong.”</p><p>“Yeah—still, let’s just keep quiet for now and get over to engineering as fast as possible, because this place is freaking me out,” Buck replied. He held onto his phaser a little tighter.</p><p>“Agreed,” Jenkins said and they started moving again. A couple of corridors further they finally reached the engine room without encountering any problems. Buck scanned the door. “It should be fine to enter. There is breathable air and I’m not picking up any life signs.”</p><p>“Okay, let’s do it.” Jenkins gripped his phaser and pointed it at the door. He nodded at Buck to open it. Buck touched the access panel and the door slid open.</p><p>The first thing they noticed was the dead Bolian on the floor, not far from the door as if they had tried to flee, but never got the chance.</p><p>“Oh shit.” Buck couldn’t look away. “Check his pulse,” Jenkins said, looking around frantically as he scanned their surroundings. Buck cautiously approached the body and perfunctory checked for a pulse, which he wouldn’t find. It was obvious that this man had died quite some time ago. He looked at Brad. “No pulse.” The man looked back at him. “Yeah, didn’t think so. We should check this place out quickly, but I don’t want to stay here for too long. I’m getting a bad vibe here.”</p><p>“I know what you mean,” Buck replied. He turned the body around. The Bolian had no visible signs of trauma. It looked as if he had just dropped and died. He immediately tapped his comm badge. “Buckley to Commander Han.”</p><p>“Han here.” Chimney’s voice sounded tinny and very far away as if something was interfering with the comm frequency. “Sir, we discovered a body in engineering. No blood or any signs of trauma.”</p><p>The Commander sighed audibly. “Yeah, same story on the bridge Buck,” he replied. “The Captain and bridge crew are all dead— they seemed to have all perished while they were carrying out their duties. Poor bastards didn’t see this coming at all.” Buck looked at Brad, whose eyebrows shot up his forehead. “This isn’t good,” he mouthed at Buck. Buck nodded at him.</p><p>“Sir, Jenkins and I are getting a bad feeling about this place. Something isn’t right.” Buck looked around the engine room. “Everything seems fine and in working order. If it’s pirates or anything else like that, why would they leave all these resources and cargo behind? It doesn’t make any sense.”</p><p>“I agree,” Chim said, “let’s get out of here. Buck, you and Jenkins return to—” the signal suddenly stopped. “Sir?” Buck tried the comm badge again. It had stopped working.</p><p>Then suddenly it burst back to life. “BUCK—get out! It’s a trap! I repeat—it’s a trap!!! We’ll try to—”</p><p>Buck jumped up while Jenkins frantically started checking the perimeter. “Sir?! Sir?! Chimney!” Buck kept on trying his comm badge. “Hen?! T’Nack! Respond! Are you okay?” The comm stayed dead.</p><p>“Shit shit shit,” Jenkins said. He looked pale and sweaty. “This isn’t good Buck.”</p><p>“I know I know,” Buck said, his brain working overtime to try to make sense of this. He pulled out his tricorder. There had to be something he could pick up on and why—and oh—</p><p>“Oh no,” he whispered. Brad glanced over at him from the back of the engine room. “What?” he asked.</p><p>“I’ve scanned for foreign substances to see what could have happened here. I’ve picked up trace amounts of Thoromic gas,” Buck replied.</p><p>“Wait, Thoromic gas? Isn’t that the same gas as—”</p><p>“Yeah, it was the same gas that was used in the attack on board of the 118. It almost killed Karen. Brad—” Buck looked up at Jenkins, “this wasn’t an emergency at all. The Commander was right— this was a trap and we fell for it.”</p><p>“But who—” Jenkins started. Suddenly, a shot rang out and Buck was horrified as a large red stain bloomed out on Brad’s chest as he slumped down. “Noooo!” Buck dropped to the floor and crawled over to Brad, frantically checking him over. There was so much blood pouring out of him. He couldn’t stop it. He heard a noise behind him, so he pulled his phaser, turned around and blindly started shooting around, hoping to hit someone. But it was to no avail. Buck was an engineer, not a soldier.</p><p>The last thing he felt before he was taken down was a bone-crushing pain in his left knee. Then there was nothing.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie was in sickbay with Christopher. Hen had ordered him to take some additional scans of his son’s spine. She had studied all of the previous scans very closely, trying to find out the best angle to approach Christopher’s surgery. Ideally, she would be able to operate on Chris as soon as possible. That way she could follow up on him during his recovery. By the time they had to leave for Mars, he’d have fully recovered.</p><p>He had just taken the last scan and was helping Christopher up from the bed when the ship’s red alert started chiming. He startled and pulled Christopher a little closer to him as the boy visibly flinched at the loud alarm. the Captain’s voice sounded over the ship-wide comm system.</p><p>“All decks red alert. I repeat—all decks red alert. A 118 rescue team has been attacked on the Bolian freighter. We have no reason to believe that the 118 is in immediate danger, but we cannot be certain about anything. I ask everyone aboard to assume high vigilance. Keep an eye out for anything unusual.”</p><p>Eddie’s heart dropped as soon as he heard the message. Buck was on that rescue team. It was the only one out right now. Eddie had checked. He always checked when Buck was on a call, just to keep tabs on him.</p><p>His breath hitched thinking about Buck in danger. Then his comm badge chimed. “Captain to Diaz.”</p><p>Eddie slapped his badge in response. “Diaz here.”</p><p>“Eddie, we have managed to locate three life signs on the Bolian ship. We have strong reason to believe they are members of the rescue team. We are currently trying to get a lock onto these signs. If this works, we’ll be beaming them directly to sickbay, so be prepared,” the Captain told him. He sounded grim.</p><p>“Yes Sir,” he replied, looking down at his son, who was now burrowed deeply into his arms. “Sir, do we know who—” he trailed off.</p><p>“No,” the Captain responded, “There were five of our people out there, so—”</p><p>“Okay.” Eddie knew that now was not the time to let his fear take over. He had a job to do. “Sir, my son—he is here with me. Can someone—”</p><p>“Say no more. I’ll send Josh to come pick him up,” the Captain easily replied. “Nash out.”</p><p>Eddie bent down to look into his son’s eyes. “Chris, you heard the Captain. Mister Russo’ll pick you up in a minute. As soon as I can, I’ll come for you, okay?”</p><p>“Okay dad.” He looked worried. “Dad?”</p><p>“Yeah buddy?” Eddie had moved on to preparing sickbay for the team. Hopefully there’d be no wounded and all his preparations wouldn’t be necessary. Somehow, Eddie had a bad feeling about this though. He just knew that it wouldn’t be that easy.</p><p>“Is Buck okay?” Chris asked timidly.</p><p>Eddie turned to him. His son looked scared and Eddie’s heart constricted. “I—I don’t know. I hope he is, but I don’t know.” Eddie realised that Chris knew him well enough to recognise the fear in his eyes. Just thinking of the possibility of Buck—he couldn’t think of that, because he had a job to do. “Let’s not jump the gun on this okay? I’m sure that—"</p><p>He was rudely interrupted by Josh Russo, who almost tumbled into sickbay, heaving like he had just finished a marathon. He took a second to collect himself and then looked at Eddie. “I’m here to pick up Chris.” Eddie nodded at him. “Dad?” Chris asked for his attention again. Eddie walked over to him, crouched down and hugged him. “It’ll all be okay. I promise. Just go with Mister Russo and be good, okay?” Christopher clung to him, mumbling his answer against the skin of his neck. “Okay dad.”</p><p>Eddie gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before getting up. He quickly gathered his son’s crutches and handed them to him. Josh took over. “Come on Chris. I’ve got some science experiments I was thinking of doing today, but it’s no fun doing them alone. Think you can give me a hand?” He put a hand on Chris’s back and gently lead him out. As soon as the doors closed behind them, Eddie inhaled deeply and allowed himself to really feel the fear that had wanted to take over from the moment he had received the news from the Captain. He closed his eyes an took a couple of more breaths to level himself. This was not the time to panic. He had work to do.</p><p>For the next two minutes he frantically ran around sickbay, pulling out everything that could be needed in an emergency situation. He had just arranged everything to his satisfaction when the Captain contacted him again.</p><p>“Eddie—prepare yourself. We have a lock in 3-2-1 and energise!”</p><p>Three figures materialised in the middle of sickbay. And oh God—there was so much blood— green blood. The moment they were fully there, Hen jumped up. “Eddie, intubation set NOW!” He immediately jumped into action. The next fifteen minutes Hen and him worked frantically to keep T’Nack alive. Eddie was dimly aware of Chimney being there as well, applying pressure on T’Nack’s wound as Hen frantically tried to save her life.</p><p>In the end, after two hours of work, they managed to stop most of the bleeding and get the Vulcan out of harm’s way. It had been touch and go there for a while, but Hen was one of the best physicians in Starfleet for a reason.</p><p>T’Nack was now resting on a medical bed. She had been put in a medical coma to heal quicker. Her partner Chuderk had come to sickbay as soon as he had received the message that she had been saved. He was now sitting by her side, quietly meditating. He looked a lot calmer than Eddie could ever hope to be if -God forbid- someone he loved was on that bed. Then again, who knew what was going on behind his stoic Vulcan façade.</p><p>Eddie tore his eyes away from Chuderk’s quiet form. He looked at Hen. She was leaning against the bulkhead, head down. Chim was next to her. He had put his arm around her shoulders and his forehead was resting against the side of her head. They looked broken.</p><p>He knew what he wanted to ask them, but he was so afraid of the answer. “Hen,” he tried to say, but his voice sounded raspy and wrong . Hen looked up at him, pain clear in her eyes. She didn’t need the words to understand what he was asking. She knew him well enough for that. She slowly shook her head and Eddie’s heart plummeted at the sight. “I’m sorry Eddie—we tried to reach him, but by the time that we got to the engine room, he was already gone. Jenkins was on the ground—there was so much blood—” she trailed off. Chimney hugged her a little closer. She swallowed. “Buck was just—gone.”</p><p>Her breath hitched. “And now—now we have to tell Brad’s highly pregnant husband that we couldn’t save him.” She looked broken. “He and Clu’tcka were just in here a couple of days ago to check on the baby. They were so happy to find out it would be a girl.”</p><p>Eddie’s eyes welled up. Brad’s husband would be alone now. He would have to raise his girl on his own, telling her stories about the father she’d never know. He knew exactly how that felt—he’d been there. His thoughts wandered to Buck. Bile rose in his throat and the tears finally started rolling down his cheeks. This felt so familiar—it was like he was hurled back in time, right to the moment when he had discovered Shannon’s body after their shuttle had crashed. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realised that it didn’t make any sense to compare Buck to Shannon. Shannon had been his wife and Buck—Buck was just a friend, a good friend— <em>best</em> friend even, but still—</p><p>Captain Nash walked into sickbay. He looked like he had aged about 50 years in one single day. His eyes were red and swollen. He glanced at T’Nack’s bed and his eyes lingered on her still form. Eddie could see him grit his teeth. He finally looked over at Hen and Chim and finally his eyes landed on him.</p><p>“I uh—I just spoke to Clu’tcka. I informed him of his husband’s death. Hen—” Hen nodded at the Captain. She knew what he was going to ask. “I’ll keep an eye on him and the baby Sir, don’t worry.” The Captain nodded back. “Good, thank you. I sent Maddie over to him, but to be honest—she wasn’t at her best either after— after hearing about Buck, so—”</p><p>“Sir,” Eddie asked. “Are we sure that Buck—I mean—” Eddie had to take a moment to swallow away the bile. “Is he dead Sir?”</p><p>Bobby regarded him solemnly. Eddie wasn’t sure what he saw written in Eddie’s eyes, but it was clearly enough for him to give him an honest answer.</p><p>“Truthfully? We don’t know Eddie. We have scanned the entire ship a couple of times now. We aren’t picking up any life signs, just like before. I know that this may seem like bad new, but we know the assailants have some kind of cloaking technology otherwise we would have picked up on their life signs from the beginning. Therefore there is a big possibility that Buck is still alive as their captive. But we can’t be 100% sure. As long as we don’t have a body, we have to assume that he is still out there.”</p><p>Eddie tried to imagine Buck, maybe wounded, all alone with his abductors who might hurt him even more. His head started pounding at the thought.</p><p>“I know this is short notice and you’ve been through a lot, but Chim,” the Captain looked at his First Officer. Chimney straightened himself and let go of Hen as the Captain addressed him, “Hen—I need both of you in the briefing room. We’re getting Buck out of there— dead or alive. There is no time to lose.” Hen solemnly nodded at him.</p><p>“Yes Sir,” they both responded.</p><p>Eddie spoke up. “Sir, I realise that I’m not officially part of the crew and I’m certainly not part of the senior staff, but— I do have some experience with these kinds of situations. Growing up I’ve been taught certain skills that could be of use. I’d like to sit in on that meeting Sir.” His resolve only grew when he saw the Captain shaking his head. “Eddie, I don’t think that’s a good idea. The Federation doesn’t quite handle situations like this as the Martian Army would.”</p><p>“I’m aware of that Sir, but—” Eddie looked down and gathered his thoughts. He needed the Captain to understand that he wasn’t going to accept <em>no</em> for an answer when it came to this— when it came to Buck. His frustration grew. “Damn it, it’s Buck Sir. I can’t just—” he closed his eyes for a second and then looked back at the Captain, willing him to see the truth about just how much Buck meant to him, “It’s Buck and I can’t lose him—not like—” he stopped himself right before he said Shannon’s name. Why was his mind so adamant to put Buck and Shannon in the same category?</p><p>The Captain regarded him solemnly. “Very well. You can come,” he finally replied.</p><p>And Eddie expelled the breath he’d been holding. As he followed the Captain and the senior staff down the corridor to the briefing room, he made up his mind. For the first time in a very long time he allowed the soldier side of him to take over and clear his mind completely until the only goal left was to extract Buck from a hostile situation.</p><p>If there was even a tiny chance that Buck was still out there? He would get him out—<em>whatever</em> it would take. If push came to shove? His phaser wouldn’t be set to <em>stun</em>.</p><p> ---</p><p>Bobby quietly studied the assembled senior staff that had gathered in the briefing room. Their tense faces stared back at him. They were on edge, ready to jump up and retrieve Buck as soon as he gave the order. Problem was— he knew how difficult that was going to be. He not only had Buck to think about, but also the lives of every other member of his crew. Realistiaclly he knew that every single person in this room would gladly volunteer to beam over to that freighter to look for Buck. But that’s where the eternal dilemma of every Starfleet Captaion started. When is enough <em>enough</em>? Was it worth sending more people into a very dangerous situation for someone who might not even be alive anymore?</p><p>He looked at Eddie last. The man sat down, every bit the soldier Bobby knew he could be. He had never seen Eddie like this. Closed off and focused on one goal. Whereas before Bobby had often wondered if Eddie’s feelings for Buck went beyond mere friendship, now there was no longer a doubt in his mind. He could almost sense the desperation that hid behind Eddie’s carefully held stoicism. He wondered if the man himself even realised how he felt about Buck. Bobby had witnessed them together time and time again, each time cementing them in his head as a tight unit— two men who clearly cared about each other beyond the mere bonds of friendship. Bobby strongly doubted that Eddie had realised this though. He had definitely seen it in Buck’s eyes— in the way he stared at Eddie sometimes, devotion practically pouring from his eyes. But Eddie was different. He kept his emotions close at hand and it was hard to gauge if he really understood the depth of his own feelings for Buck.</p><p>“You know why you’re all here,” he started, his heart heavy with the burden of command. “Buck is missing. Right now we don’t know if he’s dead or alive. Based on what happened to Brad Jenkins—I must admit that my expectations to find him alive are low.” He looked down at his hands for a moment, doing his very best to not let his emotions get the best of him. It was hard. He had come to care for Buck a great deal ever since their first altercations. Their beginning had been rough, but once they had found an understanding and Buck had been given the chance to show just what he was capable off as an engineer, common ground had been reached. Now they were good friends. In many ways Bobby felt like a mentor to the younger man. He had even offered him some cooking lessons a while ago, just so he could impress the Eddie and Christopher.</p><p>Given the titbits that Maddie let slip here and there about the Buckley’s childhood, he doubted that Buck’s father had been the role model that Buck had craved so much. So Bobby had stepped up to the plate to help him out whenever he needed some guidance.</p><p>“Bobby?” Athena’s hand rested on his shoulder, giving him the support he needed right now. He looked up at her and saw the matching devastation in her eyes.</p><p>“All due respect Sir, but tears and lament won’t get us anywhere. We need to go out there and look for him.” Bobby straightened his stance and faced Eddie. The man’s lips were tightly pressed together, barely holding in the words he really wanted to say. Bobby knew that he wouldn’t say them, because of the ingrained respect he had for the hierarchy, but it was all there, plain to see for anyone who cared to look a little closer.</p><p>“I agree,” Bobby replied. He looked around the briefing room, making brief eye-contact with his people. “We need to go back in and find him. But the problem is the enemy we’re facing here. We have tried to contact them to negotiate, but to no avail. We are a rescue ship, not a battle ship. We don’t have the resources or technology to get into a fight with an unknown assailant. An assailant who is clever enough to be in possession of cloaking devices that keep us from knowing where they are. For all we know they are hiding an entire armada of starships— ready to strike.” He looked at Athena. “Athena and I talked about it earlier and we both agree that we are way out of our depth here—but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t willing to try.”</p><p>Athena continued. “I have decided to go in alone with a small security team. At least my people are trained for combat. We’ll beam right into the engine room since that’s where Buck disappeared. From there on we’ll sweep the entirety of the ship, room by room.”</p><p>From the corner of his eye Bobby noticed Eddie rubbing his forehead rather roughly. He was shaking his head. “Again— all due respect for your security team Ma’am, but they are <em>not</em> trained for this kind of situation,” he piped up. Athena raised an eyebrow, “Excuse me?” And Bobby knew that tone of her voice. Eddie was treading on thin ice now.</p><p>“Look,” Eddie held up his hands to placate Athena, “this is a hostage situation now. Common sense tells us that the assailants have dispersed over the ship to take cover. If Buck—” he hesitated for a second, “if Buck is still alive, they’ll be hiding him somewhere secure as some kind of a safeguard to walk out of there alive if things go pear-shaped. Barging in with a full security detail will only antagonise them and make them more dangerous. It won’t work. You are now doing exactly what they expect you to do— taking the bait and walking into their trap.”</p><p>Bobby spoke up. “You seem certain of this.”</p><p>“Absolutely Sir.” Eddie stared back at him.</p><p>“How can you be so sure?” Bobby asked.</p><p>“Because—” he trailed off and looked around the room, meeting everyone’s eyes, “because it’s what I would do in this situation.” He swallowed and looked at his hands. “My past—I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of when I was in the Army and—I’ve been in situations like this one. The difference being that I was with the other team. The point is— I know what I’m talking about.” He glanced up at Bobby. “Trust me on this one Sir. Send me in—alone. If Buck’s alive, I’ll get him out—I promise.”</p><p>“No,” Bobby immediately responded. “You might be a soldier at heart Eddie, but on board of this ship you are still a civilian. I can’t send you down there all alone—” Eddie started to protest, but Bobby held up a and stopped him. “But—” he continued, “I <em>can</em> send someone down <em>with</em> <em>you</em> to keep an eye on you.” He then looked at Athena. She sighed, but nodded at him in understanding.</p><p>“Captain—” Eddie started, but Bobby wasn’t willing to negotiate over this. “Eddie, either you take Athena with you or you don’t go at all, that’s all there is to it.” After a pregnant pause Eddie finally nodded.</p><p>“Great!” Chimney said. “Then let’s get this show on the road and go get our boy.”</p><p>Suddenly the conference room was filled with hopeful faces and tentative smiles. Bobby just hoped that it would all be worth it in the end and that he had made the right choice.</p><p>---</p><p>Christopher was hiding in his room. His face was pushed deep into his soft pillow. He just wanted to forget about everything. Half an hour ago his dad had picked him up at his teacher’s place. He had taken him back to their quarters and sat him down. The news that Buck had gone missing had hit him hard, but the fact that his dad was going to go out to that ship and look for him had him petrified. He had clung to him, but in the end his dad had called Maddie and had asked her to stay with him until he returned. He had given Christopher on last hug and a kiss— and then he was gone.</p><p>He heard the door open. “Christopher?” Maddie spoke softly. He knew why she spoke like that. It was her counsellor voice. Over time he had learned that Maddie, <em>Buck’s sister</em> had a different voice than Maddie Buckley, <em>ship’s counsellor</em>.</p><p>He felt the matrass move as she sat down next to him. “Hey,” she said as she gently rubbed her hand over his back. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Christopher’s agitation rose. Why would she ask him such a stupid question. Of course he wasn’t okay. His dad was going on a dangerous rescue mission and his Buck was missing. Nothing was okay right now.</p><p>“No,” he spit out, his voice muffled through the pillow. “Nothing is okay. I want my dad.”</p><p>“I get it,” Maddie said, “I really <em>really</em> want my brother back as well, but that isn’t possible right now and—” Her voice broke. Christopher pushed himself up from the bed to look at Maddie. Her eyes were red and puffy.</p><p>“Are they going to be okay Maddie?” Christopher asked her, his voice smaller than ever.</p><p>“I don’t know kiddo. I hope so, but I don’t know. I—” She started crying and quickly wiped away the tears. Christopher reached over to give her one of his tissues, which she gratefully accepted. He put his hand over hers. “I’m sure they’ll be okay Maddie, don’t cry.“ Maddie smiled at him and cupped his cheek. “Look at me—I’m supposed to comfort you. Not the other way around.” Christopher thought hard about that. “Maybe we can comfort each other,” he suggested.</p><p>Maddie looked at him, her eyes full of love. “How did you get to be so wise?” She asked him. “My dad says I get that from my mom, but I think I got it from him as well,” he said, showing her his most beautiful smile.</p><p>Maddie smiled back. “I’m sure both of them have given you the best of themselves so you can grow up to be a great man someday.”</p><p>Christopher’s face fell as he remembered why Maddie was here in the first place. “I’m scared Maddie,” he admitted. “I know baby, so am I,” she replied. Christopher could no longer hold in the tears and started sobbing. “Come here,” Maddie said and pulled him into her arms. He put his arms around her middle and held on tight.</p><p>Now all they could do was wait for news. Christopher just hoped it was going to be good.</p><p>---</p><p>When Athena stepped into transporter room 1, Eddie was already there waiting for her. She was taken aback for a moment. He wasn’t wearing his usual civilian’s outfit or his medical uniform. Instead he was clad in all black. His phaser already in his hand, set to <em>stun</em> and ready to go. As she looked him over, she could at least see three extra weapons, some hidden underneath his clothes, others out for everyone to see. A knife at his ankle concealed by his pants, some kind of firing weapon underneath his jacket and a longer dagger strapped to his left arm. Upon closer inspection, she could also see two cylinders in a belt around his waist. Grenades? Where the hell did he get all this weaponry? And seriously—what?</p><p>“Eddie, it’s my duty to officially inform you that at least two of the weapons you have on you are not regulated by Starfleet,” she said, looking straight at him. He looked back. “Are you going to order me to leave them behind?” He asked, his gaze like steel—defying her. She grinned at him, she was Athena Grant-Nash—she wasn’t easily intimidated. As long as she was the Chief of Security of the 118 she was in charge and he would have to learn that—the easy way or the hard way.</p><p>“No, not right now—no. I’m committed to save Buck, whatever it takes,” she informed him. “That doesn’t mean however you just get to do whatever you want to do. As soon as we have beamed aboard you listen to my orders and you will obey them. I have no use for a headless chicken running around.</p><p>Eddie said nothing. He just kept staring at her, so Athena repeated it one last time. “I am the one calling the shots here. The sooner you accept that the better. Understood?”</p><p>He glanced away for a second. “Yeah,” he finally acquiesced. “Understood Ma’am.”</p><p>“Good. I’m glad we’re seeing eye to eye. Remember, we have the same goal. We just want Buck back.”</p><p>Eddie swallowed and for the first time since she had walked in the room, his façade cracked a little and she could see behind that stoic outer shell. What she saw wasn’t pretty—devastation and fear all mixed in with a healthy dose of despair. If she had ever doubted Eddie’s feelings for Buck, this took all her doubts away. This man clearly had a lot of love for Buck. What exactly the nature of that love was, she couldn’t know for sure, but she had an inkling that Buck might mean more to him than just a <em>best</em> friend.</p><p>“All right, let’s go.” They stepped up on the transporter platform. “Keep your eyes open. We stick together at all times unless I give the order to disperse.”</p><p>“Understood,” Eddie replied. He gripped his phaser a little tighter. His face was back to the blank canvas from before, focused and ready to strike.</p><p>Athena looked at the transporter engineer. She nodded at him. “Energise.”</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was awakened rudely by someone pouring a bucket of cold water over his head. He tried to wipe the water off his face, but he couldn’t move his hands. They were held down—no, strapped down to a table. He then tried to move his legs, but an agonizing pain shot through his body as he tried to do so. Okay, so moving his legs was a big <em>no-no</em>. He was very cold and he couldn’t see a thing—a blindfold. Where was he? What was going on? Then the blindfold was roughly pulled from his eyes. A blinding white light was right in front of him—or above him? What—</p><p>“He’s awake Sergeant.” Someone was there.</p><p>Buck startled. “Who are you?” He asked. “What do you want from me?”</p><p>It took his eyes some time to adjust to the light, but when he could finally focus on the room around him, he could see the faces of his abductors. Well—faces—they were all wearing the most hideous masks in order to not be recognised. This filled Buck with hope. Surely they wouldn’t bother to cover their faces if they were planning to kill him—right?</p><p>He quickly counted. Four of them in this room and who knew how many more on the rest of the ship. He just hoped that the rest had gotten away. “What did you do to the rest of my team?” He asked, desperation lacing his voice. They remained silent and aloof without even acknowledging he was there.</p><p>Before he could say anything else, the door opened. A woman in a tight-fitted black uniform walked in, her face unrecognisable as it was covered with another mask. This one looked like a lizard. She walked up to the table Buck was strapped to and looked down at him.</p><p>“Well well, Evan Buckley—long time no see.”</p><p>Buck was confused. “You know me?”</p><p>“Of course I do, we even worked together on occasion. Don’t you remember—Buck?” She grabbed hold of her mask and pulled it off.</p><p>“Sheppard?!” Buck couldn’t believe it. There she was in the flesh, Malia Sheppard. She hadn’t changed all that much since she had been aboard the 118. Her hair was red now and her face was a bit rounder, but that was it. What the hell was going on?</p><p>“Yeah—well,” she replied. “The name’s Kelly actually—Taylor Kelly.”</p><p>Buck’s eyes widened. “As in Taylor Kelly, the infamous space pirate who escaped from a Federation prison 2 years ago?”</p><p>Taylor grinned at him. “The one and only. I see that my reputation precedes me.” She looked unapologetically happy to be known as an infamous space pirate. Buck had a hard time to match this woman to the soft-spoken friendly ensign he had met at the 118.</p><p>“It wasn’t a compliment,” Buck added. He couldn’t believe he had fallen for her act all those months ago. It was clear that this woman was anything but soft-spoken and friendly.</p><p>“No, of course it wasn’t,” she said as her eyes roamed all over his body. “You always were the goody two-shoes of the 118, weren’t you? Always ready to help out a hand when and where necessary.” She put her hand on his chest and lightly traced a line down his sternum. “I did my very best to convince you to <em>give</em> me a hand, if you know what I mean— but you never took the bait. Shame— we could have had so much fun, you and I.”</p><p>Buck shuddered as his stomach turned and bile rose up. He didn’t like the tone of her voice and he certainly didn’t like the way her hand kept on getting closer and closer to his groin. “Get your hands off me!” He said through gritted teeth.</p><p>She looked up at him. Whatever she saw in his eyes made her throw back her head and burst out in loud laughter, tears coming out of her eyes. It took her a minute to compose herself and she looked back at Buck. “Oh, don’t worry sugar. This—” she grabbed his groin. Buck recoiled and tried to get away, but the awful pain that shot through his leg almost made him faint. Taylor squeezed hard as she brought her face closer to him and added, “is not why you’re here. I’m not going to lie that I haven’t dreamt about it, but unfortunately we don’t have time for fun.” She pouted. “After all, time is money—isn’t it—”</p><p>Suddenly her eyes snapped to the right and she released her hold. Buck exhaled, glad that she wasn’t taking it any further. He could vaguely hear someone’s voice through her ear piece.</p><p>“Excellent, let the games begin then,” she said, smirking into the void.</p><p>She focused her attention back on Buck. “Now, it’s time for you to go sleepy sleepy again, because we have some big—<em>booming</em> plans for you and time is sparse, since it seems Athena and soldier boy have beamed onto this ship to rescue you.” Buck didn’t quite follow— soldier boy? Who was she talking about? Then the penny dropped and his eyes quickly shot up to her face. He knew he wasn’t fast enough to mask his emotions when a saucy smirk appeared on her face.</p><p>“Oh—I see—it’s like that, is it now? You recoil from my touch, but I’m willing to bet you’d be more than happy for him to fondle you. Well,” she leaned closer again and whispered in his ear, “time to find out how good your toy boy is in a <em>real</em> emergency situation.” He could feel her breath on his cheek as she lingered. “No,” Buck begged, “Please, just—leave him alone.” The thought of Eddie and <em>ohgod</em> Athena—“Please, let them go. You have me, right? Just let them go.”</p><p>“Now, aren’t you a party pooper. No, I have other plans for you sweetheart,” she murmured right next to his cheek, chuckling softly. “Nighty night, don’t let the space pirates bite— or lick.” He felt a sharp pain in his neck. He wanted to protest but he already felt himself drifting off. The last thing he was aware off was Taylor licking a long broad stripe over his cheek and—</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie was calm. This was what he had trained for all those years ago. This was what he was good at. He hadn’t been in active combat for years now, but it was like muscle-memory. Experience just took over and all his old training kicked back in as if it had been only yesterday that he fought side by side with his family. Growing up had been a constant struggle for him because he had never liked the violence and death, but it was the only way of living he had ever known.</p><p>Only much later, when he was in his late teens, did he realise that not everyone had the same experiences as he did. Not everyone had been expected to go to war from the age of ten. But by then that way of life had been imprinted on him and he had seen no way out. It was only when he met Shannon a few years later that he had realised that he had no desire to lead her into his life of violence. And he certainly didn’t want to raise any of their future children in that environment, so he had broken with his family.</p><p>But wherever he had gone since then, the soldier had been engrained in his blood, poised and ready to leap out when necessary. And today there was a need for him, so he clambered to be let out, ready to <em>destroy</em>. However—  he hadn’t counted on the anchor that kept Eddie sane: Christopher. The idea that his son would look differently at him because of the horrible things he could do, anchored him. It gave him focus to get in, get the job done with minimal casualties and get out again.</p><p>“Diaz,” Athena whispered next to him. They were huddled together behind a console in the engine room. As soon as they had arrived, they had taken cover there. So far all was quiet, but Eddie knew from experience that that could change any second now. “Ma’am?” He replied.</p><p>“We’ll head out the main doors and take the corridor to the right. We’ll cover for each other. If you see anything move, you shoot it. But remember, phasers are set to <em>stun</em> for now. We don’t want to cause an ever bigger bloodbath than we already have on our hands right now.”</p><p>“Aye Chief,” Eddie replied. His inner soldier didn’t agree with the ‘phasers set to stun policy’, but Eddie understood why it was necessary. He was grateful for Athena’s strong presence, he really didn’t want to kill anyone today— not if he could avoid it. There was enough trauma in his past as it was. There wasn’t room for any more new nightmares.</p><p>“Okay then, on my mark,” Athena said, “one-two-three- NOW!” They leapt up and swiftly made their way to the exit, passing two bodies on the way— a Bolian crew member and Brad Jenkins. Eddie didn’t look down at him. There was no point to it, the man was long gone. He needed to focus on the man that might still be alive—Buck. From the corner of his eye he saw Athena glance down, her mouth turned down at the ghastly sight of one of her own lying there, slaughtered and abandoned. She quickly bent down to attach a comm badge to his body. His own lying next to him, mangled and useless, covered in blood. At least now they would be able to retrieve his body and give him a proper farewell. When she stood back up her eyes were filled with determination. Eddie knew that look, he’d seen it many times on the battlefield. She was ready.</p><p>They quickly ran through the corridor, checking rooms along the way until they reached the entrance to the first and biggest cargo bay on the ship. The entrance had been locked, but it only took Eddie 10 seconds to short-circuit the system and then they were in. The moment the doors slid open a volley of bullets erupted. Eddie shoved Athena to the side, taking cover behind a large crate.</p><p>Eddie peeked around the crate to assess the situation. He could immediately spot at least three shooters from this angle. He knew there was at least one more shooter hiding somewhere else. He mentally calculated the odds of him breaking cover to make a run for the other side of the cargo bay, where the shooters were hiding. He could do it—he was certain, but he needed Athena to back him up or he was a dead man.</p><p>He quickly whispered his plan into her ear, in order to not give away their exact location. Athena nodded her consent and whispered back, “Good luck”. Eddie nodded once, took a deep breath to focus. Phaser in one hand and his pistol in the other, he started running, zigzagging through the room. Bullets hit all around him. Behind him he heard Athena’s phaser discharging, again and again.</p><p>He finally made it across the room. Once there, he snuck in between rows and rows of boxes and containers, trying to establish the whereabouts of the shooters. He quickly eliminated two of them by a couple of well-placed phaser shots. Athena shot the third. Now he just had to find the fourth shooter. In the end the man found him first and jumped him from behind, but the fight was short. His assailant was good in hand-to-hand combat, but ultimately his skills didn’t match Eddie’s. He swiftly eliminated the threat with a last solid kick to the head.</p><p>“Eddie?!” Athena called out. “Clear!” Eddie yelled back. They met back up at the entrance. She was sweating profusely—adrenaline no doubt. She checked him over and brought her hand to his face, where a big bruise was already blooming on his cheek. “You okay?” He nodded. “Yeah, I’m find. I’ve had much worse.”</p><p>Then she grinned and held something up in triumph—a device of some kind. “Here,” she said, “I retrieved this from one of the shooters. It’s some kind of tricorder. She pushed a couple of buttons and the device turned on.  The last thing the shooter had accessed was a complete schematic of the ship. Immediately a dozen dots illuminated the screen— life signs.</p><p>Athena looked up at him with a triumphant smile on her face. “Bingo. We know where they are now. The ball’s in our court.”</p><p>Eddie grinned back at her. He took the device and studied it. “Now, I can’t be sure, but if I were to keep a hostage I would make sure to keep them detained in the most secure part of the ship. I would also put extra security around the perimeter to make sure no one would go in or out without permission. So, taking in account all of that and if—” he breathed in deeply, “if Buck is still alive, I think our best bet to find him is right here.” He pointed at a place on the map.</p><p>“Sickbay?” Athena asked. “You sure?”</p><p>“Yes, I am,” he replied with conviction.</p><p>“Okay then.” Athena nodded at him. “Good enough for me. Let’s go.”</p><p>And they took off again in search of sickbay. While making their way there, something niggled at the back of Eddie’s mind. This was so easy—almost too easy. They were running around on the ship and so far they hadn’t encountered anyone besides the goons in that cargo bay. What had they been doing there in the first place. It was almost as if they had just been waiting around for someone to walk in. It could all be a coincidence of course, but he had learnt early on that coincidences didn’t exist in combat situations— only well thought out strategies. What was he missing here?</p><p>He had seen the dots on the device, but none of them had appeared to be moving. They were just there—stationary, waiting for someone to confront them—as if they were expecting them. And then there had been the fight with one of the shooters. He had been good, not as good as Eddie, but still— his fighting techniques had been solid but he had given up so easily—it was strange.</p><p>“Sickbay is just up ahead,” Athena whispered. They quickly huddled into a nook. “Okay,” Eddie replied, “according to this device,” he held up the tricorder look-a-like, “ there’s four marks posted around sickbay. There are two at the entrance and another two further up in the corridor, probably securing the air vents leading to sickbay. The Bolians are heavily dependent on humidity. These air vents can be found all over the ship. They lead straight into the rooms.</p><p>Athena took in the information and nodded. “How do you know all this?” She asked.</p><p>Eddie grinned at her. “It pays to know the weaknesses of the enemy. It gives you the advantage and leverage you need to take them out,” he spit out. “One of the first lessons I’ve ever learnt as a kid.”</p><p>Athena didn’t look impressed. “Well, it comes in handy right now I suppose. I propose we take out the person guarding the left air vent. That is closest to our position. We can then use the vent to slip inside.”</p><p>“Take over the room from the inside?” Eddie asked, already nodding along with the plan.</p><p>“Yeah, seems like the safest route right now,” Athena added, before gearing herself up for the battle up ahead.</p><p>“I agree.” Eddie took a deep breath and as soon as Athena moved he swiftly followed.</p><p>It didn’t take them long to take out the man guarding the left vent. He was wearing a mask in the shape of a lion’s head. A swift kick to the back of his head rendered him unconscious. Eddie quickly dragged him into the nearest empty room so he wouldn’t be detected too soon. In the meantime Athena had taken care of the vent cover so they could squeeze inside.</p><p>It took some manoeuvring to get to the other side, but eventually they reached the exit that lead straight into sickbay. They could peek inside through the outer protective cover. What Eddie saw there just about stopped his heart.</p><p>Buck.</p><p>He was strapped to a table, completely immobilized. His left leg seemed off somehow, blood covered his knee. His eyes were closed and he looked very pale, almost as if he was—</p><p>“Oh God, we’re too late,” Athena whispered, saying out loud what Eddie was thinking. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around in sickbay, so they softly removed the vent cover and quickly made their way over to Buck. Once they were closer, Eddie could clearly see just how badly Buck’s leg was hurt. It was almost as if his knee had been crushed. It would have taken a lot of force to inflict damage like this. Whomever did this, really wanted to immobilise Buck, but not kill him.</p><p>Eddie looked at Buck’s face. It was strange to see him like this, unnaturally still. Buck was a very expressive man. He was easy to read as his face broadcast his every emotion. Now his face was completely slack, devoid of any expression.</p><p>“Is he—” Athena trailed off. She was standing a couple of steps away from the table as if she was afraid to come any closer. Eddie never took his eyes from Buck’s face. Even unnaturally still like this he was beautiful and how was he going to explain it to Christopher if—</p><p>He took a deep breath to brace himself and then gently put his shaking fingers on Buck’s pulse point. He almost sagged in relief when he felt a clear and steady heartbeat thumping away. His legs felt like jelly and he had to brace himself on the table to not fall down.</p><p>Overcome with emotion he smiled at Athena. No words were needed. She immediately understood. Tears sprung to her eyes which she quickly wiped away. She came closer and clasped Eddie’s shoulder. She reached out and thumbed away a stray tear rolling down his cheek. “Time for that later,” she said resolutely, “now we need a plan to get out of here.”</p><p>Eddie nodded in agreement as he pulled himself together. Their initial plan had been to beam right out of sickbay, but their tricorder scans had revealed that the place was surrounded by an energy field of some kind, so in order to beam off board they needed to step outside. Athena walked over to one of the consoles to explore their options.</p><p>In the meantime, Eddie figured he could take a look at Buck’s knee to see if he could do something about it. But then a hand wrapped around Eddie’s wrist, derailing his thoughts completely. He startled and his breath hitched when he looked down and blue eyes were looking straight at him. Buck’s lips were moving as if he was trying to speak.</p><p>“Oh God—Buck?” He whispered, bending towards him to pick up what he wanted to say.</p><p>“Eddie, are you real?”</p><p>“Yeah man, I’m here. I’m real. We came for you. You’re going home.” Eddie studied his eyes. His pupils were dilated. It was clear he had been heavily drugged. Eddie felt a rush of anger flow through him. What the hell had they done to Buck while he had been sedated?</p><p>“Eddie—” Buck started.</p><p>“Shhhh—conserve your energy Buck. You’ll need it to get out of here.”</p><p>“No—Eddie—Malia—it was her, only she wasn’t herself, she was really T-T-Tay—” he trailed off.</p><p>“Sheppard?” Athena asked from across the room. She shared a brief worried look with Eddie.</p><p>“Yeah,” Buck nodded. He seemed exhausted from just trying to say a couple of words.</p><p>Eddie clasped Buck’s right hand. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he whispered. “I was so worried about you.”</p><p>Buck stared up at Eddie with glazed eyes. “You were?” he asked, surprise in his voice.</p><p>“Of course I was. So was Chris. You are our best friend and I—I—” Eddie’s words were stuck in his throat. He wasn’t quite sure where he was planning to go with that sentence in the first place.</p><p>Buck smiled dopily up at him. “I love you too Eddie. You’re my best fri—” he trailed off as his eyes fell shut. His head lolled to the side as he slipped back into a drugged sleep. Eddie was speechless. He couldn’t drag his eyes away from Buck’s face and he clasped his hands a little tighter around his hand. Buck loved him. It had been such a long time since anyone, besides his son, had said those three little words to him. And now here was Buck, an unguarded moment and—boom he dropped the L-bomb.</p><p>Athena cleared her throat. “Sorry to disturb your moment there, but we really do need to get out of here. I suggest we make a break for it.” She gestured to the two grenades strapped securely in his belt. “Do those work or are they just there for show?” She asked. Eddie grinned at her. “These are type 4 smoke grenades. You bet your ass they work.”</p><p>“Good, give me one. I’ll open the door and throw it out into the corridor. It’ll create enough distraction for us to be able to run out and send a signal to the 118. Hopefully they’ll be able to get a lock on us and we’ll beam right out of here.” She stepped closer to Buck and attached a comm badge to his tattered uniform. “You okay to carry Buck?”</p><p>Eddie nodded. He would carry Buck across the universe if needed. He silently handed her a grenade when she held out her hand. He took a moment to hoist Buck onto his back into a fireman’s hold. Then he walked over to the door, ready to jump into the corridor. Athena held her hand over the touchpad next to the door, not quite touching it yet.</p><p>“Ready?” She asked.</p><p>“Ready,” he replied.</p><p>“Okay, here we go.” She touched the pad and the door slid open. The guard next to the door startled and turned around, ready to fight. Before he could do anything, Athena had thrown out the grenade and it exploded with a heavy bang, filling the corridor with thick smoke.</p><p>“Now!” Eddie shouted.</p><p>They quickly ran out into the corridor, Athena taking point to cover for them. As soon as they had turned a corner Athena slapped her comm badge.</p><p>“Athena to the 118. Four to beam up! NOW!”</p><p>One of the guards ran around the corner, poised in an eagle-mask, ready to strike, but by then Eddie felt the tell-tale tingle of his atoms being pulled apart by a transporter beam. He exhaled. They were going home.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck’s head was pounding as if he had drunk an entire bottle of blood wine the previous evening. But he hadn’t. Had he? He thought hard about it, but nothing came to mind that could have given him such a bad hangover. What was the last thing he remembered anyway? He remembered spending the day with Eddie and Christopher at the beach and the fun they had had. Christopher had made sandcastles while Eddie and him had talked, enjoying the sun. They had gone swimming, and man—Eddie in swim trunks. He remembered that most of all. His olive skin glowing in the sun, half of the beach-goers ogling him, the man himself completely unaware and oblivious of all the stares he was attracting. Eddie didn’t seem to realise just how scorching hot he really was. They had returned sometime in the afternoon and then—oh, he remembered now. Their conversation about Ana Flores and how Eddie was thinking of asking her out. Thank God he had been saved from the rest of that conversation by—</p><p>Buck suddenly jumped up, his eyes spread wide open in panic.</p><p>“Oh God—Brad!” He remembered Jenkins body and how it had hit the ground after he had taken a bullet to the chest. He couldn’t breathe, he—</p><p>“Hey Buck, calm down.” Someone was next to him—Eddie. He took Buck’s hand and squeezed it gently. “Listen to my voice Buck. Whatever you’re seeing right now? It isn’t real, okay? You’re safe now, in sickbay. We’re all here with you.” Buck clamped onto Eddie’s hand and slowly turned his head to look at him. Eddie’s face looked ashen. He had a bruise on his cheek. Buck absentmindedly reached out and touched it. “You are hurt,” he stated.</p><p>Eddie covered his hand and leaned into it. “Yeah, but it’s okay though. It was worth it.” Buck finally looked around. He was in sickbay.</p><p>“My-- my l—leg,” he stuttered. He remembered the pain of his crushed knee. Hen quickly reassured him.</p><p>“Your leg is just fine. Not going to lie, you’ll need a vast deal of PT, but it should be completely healed in a month or two.”</p><p>The doors of the room slid open and revealed Maddie and Christopher.</p><p>“Buck! You’re awake!” Christopher shouted. Eddie stepped aside. The boy came over as quick as he could to give his Buck a hug. Buck closed his eyes and clung to the boy in his arms. Maddie stepped up to him next, her eyes filled with tears.</p><p>“Evan,” she whispered as she lightly stroked his hair like she used to when they were kids and their parents were arguing again. He looked up at her and stretched out his right arm, his left one still occupied with Christopher. She bent down and he hugged her tight, lightly kissing her cheek. Maddie was full-out sobbing by then.</p><p>“Shhh, I’m all right. It’s okay.” He lightly stroked Maddie’s back as he kept repeating the same phrase. The grave faces of the rest of the senior crew met his stare over his sister’s head.</p><p>It took some time, but eventually everyone had settled around Buck’s bed. That’s when the Captain spoke up.</p><p>“Buck, I know that this is not exactly the right time, but we need to talk about what happened.”</p><p>Buck nodded. “I know. Jenkins—he— it all happened so quick Cap’. One moment we were talking about the trace amounts of Thoromic gas we picked up in our scans and the next he was lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. I tried to help him, but then they were suddenly there and I couldn’t—I’m sorry,” he finished. Guilt consumed him when he thought about Brad and how he had failed him.</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault Buck,” the Captain replied. It was a trap. They wanted us to come and we walked right into it— blind as bats.” He stood up from his chair and walked closer to Buck’s bed.</p><p>“ You said that you picked up traces of Thoromic gas?” Bobby asked.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s when Brad and I realised that this wasn’t a coincidence and that we had been lured into a trap. We discovered it too late though. They got the jump on us. And it doesn’t end there Bobby—when I woke up later, I was strapped down on a table in the ship’s sickbay and—it was Sheppard—Malia Sheppard. She looked a little different from when she had been aboard, but I recognised her instantly. She—her real name Bobby—her real name is Taylor Kelly.”</p><p>Bobby stared back at him while Buck heard Athena cursing behind him. “Taylor Kelly?” The Captain repeated as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “Yes Sir—she told me herself.”</p><p>Bobby looked down. “Oh, this is bad,” he murmured.</p><p>“Who is Taylor Kelly and what would she want with Buck?” Eddie asked. Everyone in the room, save Christopher, turned to Eddie in disbelief.</p><p>“Wait,” Chimney said, “you don’t know who Taylor Kelly is?” He stared at Eddie as if he had been witness to a miracle.</p><p>Eddie shook his head. “Well no,” he replied, pointing at himself, “stuck on a deserted moon for seven years, remember?”</p><p>“You are truly a unicorn my friend,” Chimney replied, grinning at him. Eddie just rolled his eyes. “So—Taylor Kelly?”</p><p>Hen finally took pity on him. “Taylor Kelly is one of the most infamous fugitives ever,” she explained. Eight years ago she started running amok in space, hijacking and robbing whichever ship she came across. She liked to tell people that she was some kind of modern Robin Hood, with that difference that Robin Hood gave back to the poor. Taylor just kept it all for herself. She was finally captured 4 years later and sentenced to life in a maximum security federation prison colony. She was only there for a year before she escaped and disappeared without a trace. No one knows how she got out, but everyone agrees that she couldn’t have done it alone, so she must have had some help from the outside. She hasn’t been heard of since her escape—until now.”</p><p>“Did she say anything to you?” The Captain asked.</p><p>“No, not anything of use to us anyway,” Buck started. He tried to remember the bits and pieces of information he had gathered, but the drugs in his system had definitely messed up his memory. “To be honest—I don’t know why I’m still alive in the first place.” He scrunched up his nose in confusion. “I mean,” he quickly explained when Maddie gave him <em>the look</em>, “she had Brad killed on sight. But me—she kept me alive, but what for?”</p><p>“Maybe she wanted to use you as some kind of collateral along the way?” Chimney suggested. Eddie shook his head. “No—I don’t think so,” he seemed troubled as he turned to Bobby, “Captain, there’s something I noticed when Athena and I were on the ship.” Bobby gestured his encouragement. “There was no real resistance. I mean, yes—they shot at us, but none of the bullets ever really seemed to hit any of its marks. And when I fought one of them, it just didn’t seem like much of a challenge to defeat him.”</p><p>“He’s right Bobby.” Athena nodded at him. “I’ve noticed the same thing. None of them seemed to be really making an effort to keep us from rescuing Buck. I would have expected sickbay to be heavily guarded, but instead there were four very ineffective guards watching the perimeter. I’ve heard of Kelly and the reason why her plans worked out so many times, is because she is a really good strategist. She knows exactly where the put the pawns and how to play the game of war. In this case security was sloppy and not very well trained. It’s also strange how the woman herself was nowhere around. From what I’ve heard she is a formidable opponent in hand-to-hand combat, so you would think she’d be there to make a point. But—nothing, she was just gone.”</p><p>The Captain rubbed his hand over his mouth. “This case just keeps getting weirder and weirder. What the hell is going on? First the Thoromic gas to blow up shuttle bay, now the kidnapping of a crewmember. Hen,” he looked at her, “did you find anything out of the ordinary in Buck’s scans?”</p><p>Hen shook her head. “Negative Sir, besides the busted knee and some bumps and bruises, he’s in good health.”</p><p>“Then what was the point of all of this?” The Captain mused. “You’d think she’d take a member of senior staff to show off her power toward the Federation. And—forgive me Buck,” he said as he addressed the Chief, “but the logical thing would have been some kind of public execution. Instead she vanished and left you behind.”</p><p>Silence descended in sickbay, until Buck broke it. “Well, I for one am very happy to still be alive. I only wish Brad could have been this lucky as well.” He felt like shit about Jenkins’ fate. Maybe there was something he could have done? He rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes for a moment. He was so tired.</p><p>“Well, time for all of you to leave my patient alone,” Hen said. Buck didn’t even react to that. He was just too drained.</p><p>One by one the senior staff drifted off, most of them with promises of visits in the near future. Eddie and Chris were some of the last people to leave. Chris hugged him again and handed over a hand-made get well card he had drawn as soon as he had heard that Buck was in sickbay. Eddie smiled at Buck reassuringly, his eyes warm and caring. He gently squeezed his shoulder before helping Chris off the bed and out of sickbay. Buck took a deep breath and closed his eyes.</p><p>“There wasn’t, you know.” Maddie’s voice cut through the silence. He startled as he thought she had left with Chim. “Maddie?” He asked.</p><p>“Brad—there is absolutely nothing you could have done to save him,” she repeated.</p><p>He closed his eyes again. Maddie had always been so good at knowing what he was thinking. Sometimes he suspected that she could read his mind somehow, but she always assured him that was not how the Betazoid genes worked and he believed her.</p><p>“How did you know?” He asked her.</p><p>“Evan, you’re my brother,” Maddie started. “I know you, so I also know that right now you are beating yourself up over the fact that you weren’t able to save Brad and you’re running through different scenarios in your head how you could have possibly saved him. That’s how your mind works. Always thinking of others—never yourself. Now I’m here to tell you— stop overthinking it.”</p><p>She leaned over and hugged him tight. “Sleep now,” she whispered in his ear.</p><p>Buck smiled sadly. He knew she was right. She knew him so well. Maybe he could also trust her with something else that had happened today?</p><p>“Maddie—”</p><p>Maddie pulled back a little and looked at him. “Yeah?”</p><p>The drugs really did inhibit some of the memories of his time on the ship, but he did remember Taylor Kelly’s unwelcoming touch. “She—Kelly—she uh—she was kind of—handsy with me,” he finally got out, embarrassment flowing through him.</p><p>“What?” Maddie looked worried and more than a little pissed off. “That bitch,” she swore. Buck was taken aback for a moment, his soft-spoken sister had surprised him. “Evan,” she asked, “did she—I mean—”</p><p>“No no!” Buck quickly replied. “Nothing like that, she just—you know—put her hands in places I didn’t want them, that’s all.”</p><p>“That’s all?” Maddie piped up. Now she looked red in the face, angry. “She had no right—where did she get the nerve to touch you without consent?”</p><p>“Well,” Buck replied, “I was tied up and under her control, so technically she didn’t have to ask me anything. I was her prisoner.”</p><p>That didn’t make it any better. Maddie looked about ready to kill someone.</p><p>“Look,” he began, ducking his head to catch her eye, “I understand why you’re all angry and I’m touched by your concern and care, but I’m okay. I’m not lying—it shook me up and scared me a little at the time, but I’m mostly fine with it now. I just—I think that I might need to talk about it to someone to give it a place in the grand scheme of things. Would you be okay with that?.”</p><p>“Yes, of course,” she grabbed Buck’s hand. “You can talk to me about anything, you know that.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he said, smiling at her. “I do.”</p><p>---</p><p>It was after midnight when Eddie slipped silently into sickbay. Buck was fast asleep. He wasn’t quite sure why he had come here. He had woken up from a horrible dream about their rescue mission. In it, Athena had been behind him and instead of entering sickbay through the air vent they had gone in through the main entrance. Buck had been on the table, but this time his eyes were open and glassy, his skin cold to the touch. They had come too late. The dream had left him shaken and unable to get back to sleep, so he had got out of bed, briefly checked on Christopher before quickly putting on a sweatshirt and pants. He had had a sudden burning desire to go to sickbay to check up on Buck. He needed to see him with his own two eyes to make sure he was really alive and that image of his open glassy eyes was only a bad dream.</p><p>He quietly sat down next to Buck’s bed and gently rested his hand right next to Buck’s. He desperately wanted to touch him, hold his hand, but he didn’t in fear of waking the man. So he settled on studying his face. From the moment Hen and Commander Han had beamed into sickbay with a wounded T’Nack in between them, his heart had lodged itself into his throat. His brain had immediately registered the absence of one Evan Buckley. He hadn’t given in to the desire to ask them where Buck was at the time, but—the thought had kept floating through his mind. Where was Buck?</p><p>As soon as the Captain had informed them of Buck’s status, something deep inside him had stepped up to the plate. His inner soldier, who had been trained for things like this, had taken over—emotionless and effortless. He would get Buck out—no matter what he had to do. Thank God Athena had been there with him on the  ship. Eddie knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if she hadn’t been there, he had gone ballistic on the people that had decided it was okay to take Buck and hurt him.</p><p>And what did that say about himself? What did it say about him that he was ready to kill for Buck?</p><p>Eddie was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. He knew very well that his actions today were not those of a concerned friend.</p><p>Attraction was one thing. He could handle that. It was easy, you just ignored it and moved on to someone else. No use in lusting after a man when the man isn’t interested in you in the first place.</p><p>But this—this thing that he felt for Buck? This overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and fear that had taken over as soon as he had heard about Buck’s fate? Attraction didn’t explain that at all. So now Eddie had to confront his feelings head on.</p><p>He recognised the way he always felt lighter and happier whenever Buck was around. Or how he loved that Chris had effortlessly wrapped the man around his little finger. Then there was the way Buck’s smile just lit up any room he was in and when he aimed that smile at Eddie— it never failed to make his breath hitch. He had never given it much thought, writing it off as simple physical attraction. But now—</p><p>Sitting next to him in the dark room, he finally had time to take his time and study Buck’s slack face as he slept—the slope of his nose, his full red lips, the laugh lines around his mouth. He knew that face so well—in the last couple of months he had memorised everything about it, without any conscious effort on his part. And without any effort <em>at all</em>, Buck had wormed his way into his heart and Eddie had missed it completely. He had had no idea. He had been such an idiot.</p><p>“Physical attraction,” Eddie mumbled. “Yeah right.” He chuckled softly. How the hell could he have fooled himself like that? The way he felt about Buck was something he had never felt before. He had once loved Shannon with his entire heart and, in a way, he always would. The love he had for her had been instant, at first sight. The moment he saw her, he knew that she was the one. He had asked her out and that had been that.</p><p>Buck however—Buck was just there, being the best friend he could have ever hoped for, after all those lonely years on Sitèria. He had helped him with Christopher and they had filled hours with both meaningful and meaningless conversation. His friendship with Buck had been effortless. They had gone from total strangers to fast friends in no time. Their bond strengthening every day until—</p><p>Until the moment when Buck had disappeared and, confronted with the fact that he might never see the man again, Eddie had realised something about himself that he had not seen coming. Namely that he was irrevocably and completely head over heels in love with Evan Buckley.</p><p>What now? He knew that Buck could never find out. He might lose the man’s friendship and that wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. He’d rather have Buck as a friend in his life than not at all. But could he pull it off? The last couple of months Eddie had felt more and more relaxed aboard the 118 and he had gradually let down his emotional walls, letting people see the real him hiding behind them. Could he really pretend to be Buck’s friend and not bleed his real feelings all over the place?</p><p>He had no idea.</p><p>He did know one thing for sure though. He wasn’t going to ask out Ana Flores. It wouldn’t be fair to her to start something when he was hung up on someone else. He could use another friend though, so he wouldn’t give up on that. As for Buck—he needed him to be strong for him now. He would support him during his PT to strengthen his knee and he would be there for him every step of the way to help him move past the trauma of his abduction. It would be just like before. And one day— soon— the 118 will make a stop on Mars and that will be the end of it.</p><p>He could get over this. He could get over Buck. He was sure of it.</p><p>Buck moaned in his sleep. His eyes were rapidly moving behind his closed eyelids. The tell-tale signs of a nightmare. Eddie reached out and gently smoothed down the wrinkles that had formed across Buck’s forehead. His skin was cool to the touch. Buck sighed and unconsciously leaned into the warmth of his hand. Contentment seeped into Eddie’s entire being, chasing away the cold loneliness inside his heart.</p><p>And oh, he was so incredibly screwed. How in the hell was he supposed to get over this amazing man?</p><p>With great difficulty he finally withdrew his hand from Buck’s face and stood up. Christopher was alone in their quarters. He had been sound asleep when he had left, but if he did wake up, Eddie needed to be there for him. So he really needed to get back.</p><p>He stared at Buck for a moment longer and couldn’t resist. He quickly bent over and smoothed Buck’s hair back while gently pressing his lips to the man’s forehead. He lingered there for a moment, his lips resting against salty-tasting skin. “You are amazing. I—I’m in love with you,” he whispered into Buck’s skin. He figured if he could say it out loud only once it might be enough to last him a lifetime.</p><p>He gently pulled back, his heart filled with regret. He reluctantly stood up and left. Back to his son who was more than enough for him. He had to be.</p><p>---</p><p>Hen didn’t dare to move until a couple of minutes after Eddie had left. She had been unable to sleep because of the rush of adrenaline that was still working its way through her system. Instead of waking up Karen by twisting and turning in bed, she had decided to get some extra work done in sickbay. Eddie had taken some new scans of Christopher’s spine and she had been studying those quietly when suddenly Eddie had slinked through the door. She was working on the furthest console from Buck’s bed, in a darker corner of the room, so he hadn’t noticed her there.</p><p>Her first instinct had been to greet him, but then she had seen his face. He looked ashen, as if he had seen a ghost or something. For some reason, something inside her told her to stay quiet. She watched on as Eddie gingerly settled next to Buck’s bed and put his hand on the bed. His fingers close to Buck’s hand, but just out of reach. After a little while Buck had twitched in his sleep, moaning softly. Eddie had reached up and gently caressed Buck’s forehead with a tenderness she had only seen him use with Christopher before. She held her breath, unwilling to disturb the moment.</p><p>Eddie had sat there for about 15 minutes when he finally stood up. She had watched on as he looked down at Buck and then hesitantly bent down and softly kissed his forehead. She thought she could hear him mumble something against Buck’s skin, but it was too soft a sound for her to pick up. A minute later he left, not leaving a single trace of his presence behind.</p><p>Hen blinked and for the first time in about twenty minutes, inhaled deeply. She stood up, her body stiff from holding the same position for such a long time. As she calmly walked over to Buck’s bed to check on him, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. It was obvious that she had infringed upon something intensely private. Something Eddie had never intended anyone to see. But now she knew. She had knowledge about something she was never supposed to find out in the first place.</p><p>Now what was she supposed to do with that?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to know when I update. :)</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this. I know I loved writing it. If you did enjoy, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo and/or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on all that's going on in this chapter or in the overall story.</p><p>Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Stand-off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He looked at his son, all snuggled up and breathing evenly. Nightmare all but forgotten. He sighed. Buck did that. Buck set his son’s mind at ease by singing a simple song.</p>
<p>“That was beautiful.” Eddie flushed. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. But it was true though. The way Buck had sung that song, intimately and small, only for Chris to hear—it had felt almost magical and Eddie had a hard time keeping all the emotions he was experiencing to himself.</p>
<p>AKA a lot of pining-- seriously though, so much pining. The firefam being done with all the pining. A beautiful song and so many bad decisions. No big plot advancements, just some quiet moments in between.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I started to work again about 3 weeks ago and obviously that has affected the updating of this story. Sorry for the delay in update, but after work and after I put my son to bed, I am so tired that I just need to get to bed myself. So, less time to write. It'll probably be about 3 weeks between updates from now on. That'll give me a comfortable time to write and edit. I don't want to put up fixed deadlines though, because I don't want them to affect the quality of my writing. So, I'll just stick to 3 weeks or less.</p>
<p>This chapter is not as long as the previous 2 and it isn't very plot-heavy, but it is more character-heavy. We get to explore the minds of some of the crew.</p>
<p>I once again invented a bunch of sciency stuff and words. Sorry for that, but it is what it is.</p>
<p>The song that is sung in this chapter is the Happy Song from Imogen Heap. My son adores that song. You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PhtxqKLvVc</p>
<p>Go check it out. It's such a lovely video clip as well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bobby was a man on a mission. For the fourth time in two days the warp core had destabilized and the whole ship had to be put on red alert. As a result of this he hadn’t had a good night’s rest for two days and man—he was cranky. Even Athena had started to avoid him, which basically meant that his bad mood was off the scale. Only this morning he had, unintentionally, managed to piss off two of his bridge officers. So when Buck had informed him that the source of their trouble had been found Bobby had wasted no time escaping the bridge and had headed straight for engineering. He needed a change of scenery and this was the perfect excuse.</p>
<p>He looked forward to finally moving beyond the problem so things could get back to normal and he could finally get some quality sleep.</p>
<p>When he arrived at engineering, the place was bustling with people. Each crewmember performing his or her own task while Buck coordinated the whole thing, like a conductor leading the orchestra. It seemed very chaotic, but there was a certain logic behind it that worked like a charm. Buck’s style of command was very different from his own, but just as effective.</p>
<p>It’s funny though, if someone had asked Bobby a couple of years back whether or not Buck would be a capable leader one day, he would have hesitated, but these days his doubts were gone. Buck was an excellent leader. Not a conventional one, but somehow his style just worked wonders. The engineering crew worshipped the ground he walked on. He was their <em>Chief</em>.</p>
<p>He watched on as Buck dismissed them. They dispersed and set to work. Only Albert Han remained and handed him a pad.</p>
<p>“Chief,” Bobby announced his presence. Buck looked up from where he had been studying the schematic on the pad. A genuine smile graced his face. “Captain! To what do I owe this honour?”</p>
<p>“I’d thought I come by to check on the progress you told me about.” Bobby said, walking up to him, “Is this a bad time?”</p>
<p>“No, of course not,” Buck vehemently stated. “You’re the Captain. The most important person on the 118. There is always time for you.”</p>
<p>Bobby shook his head. That was such a typical Buck-thing to say that he couldn’t contain a smile. Buck was anything if not generous with compliments when he thought people deserved them. It was nice to be appreciated like that and Bobby was very conscious of the fact that Buck was someone who thrived on these little appreciations as well,  so whenever he could he told the Chief just how invaluable he was on this ship.</p>
<p>“Thanks Buck,” he paused, “but I think we all know who the real person is who keeps this ship afloat.”</p>
<p>Buck’s cheeks immediately dusted with red as he ducked his head. From the corner of his eyes Bobby saw Albert proudly smirking at Buck before he walked over to his workstation. The ensign knew what was up. Bobby made a mental note to review Albert’s file to check if he wasn’t up for promotion yet.</p>
<p>“Well,” Buck started, “as I told you over the comm: we located the issue with one of the energy-inhibitors. It just doesn’t function the way it is supposed to anymore. I checked and it’s the oldest one on the ship. All the others have been replaced before at some point in time. We managed to patch it up, but we’ll need a new one soon.”</p>
<p>Bobby rubbed his forehead, already thinking of the consequences this would have on their course. “What timeframe are we talking about here?”</p>
<p>Buck frowned as he thought it over. “Well, ideally within the next four months.”</p>
<p>“Hmmm— well, then I guess we’ll just have to swing by home. It’ll take a month or two to reach Earth, so we’ll have plenty of time left. I’ll alert Starfleet that we’ll be coming in for maintenance.”</p>
<p>Buck blanched and Bobby grew concerned as he visibly paled “Buck? You okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah—I’m fine, just—you know—if we’re going to Earth, I suppose we’ll pass by Mars. Eddie—Eddie and Christopher will be happy to see their family.” Buck looked down at the floor and refused to meet Bobby’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Oh—I don’t know,” Bobby said knowingly, “I’ve got a feeling that, in the past eleven months, they’ve grown just as close as family with some of the people aboard this ship.”</p>
<p>Buck looked up at him and smiled.</p>
<p>“So, talking about the Diaz family, how is Christopher doing? I haven’t seen him around that much since surgery,” Bobby asked.</p>
<p>The boy had been operated on about a month ago. The surgery had been extensive and it had taken Hen hours to finish up. Eddie had started out all right, but as hours past he slid off into the abyss and became a complete nervous wreck. Buck had been there every step of the way, right by Eddie’s side, consoling when necessary and distracting the man from thinking too much of all the things that could go wrong during an operation. Bobby had checked in on them once in a while in between his duties on the bridge and it was obvious that, without Buck, Eddie would have spectacularly crashed and burned. Instead he stayed sane and strong, leaning on Buck’s shoulder whenever he needed the support. There had been a couple of moments when he even had felt strong enough to turn the roles around. Whenever Buck’s nerves started to get the best of him, Eddie had always managed to talk him down again. Watching their interaction and partnership had been amazing. If ever two people had been made for each other, as friends or more— well, they were a clear example of that.</p>
<p>Buck’s face transformed at Bobby’s question. His previous plight all but forgotten as a big smile settled on his face. “Oh man, Cap’—it’s so amazing. You should see him these days. He’s improving every day. Eddie said that if he keeps going strong with his exercises it’ll only be weeks before he’ll walk independently without crutches. I’m so excited for that.”</p>
<p>“Well, if he’s still here by then,” Bobby mused, immediately cursing his big mouth when he saw the effect it had on Buck. As if on cue the light in his eyes dimmed and his whole body seemed to fold in on itself. He seemed smaller somehow, which is hard to do when you’re as tall as Buck.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I suppose,” he quietly replied.</p>
<p>“Buck—” Bobby started, wanting to comfort Buck in some way.</p>
<p>But Buck sensed the shift in the mood and cut him off. “Well, I’m afraid I have to go now Captain. The last overload caused a lot of issues in the food replicators. We’ll need to sweep the decks and check each and every replicator for signs of malfunctions. Wouldn’t want anyone to come down with severe food poisoning.”</p>
<p>Bobby sighed. He recognised a diversion technique when he saw one. He would let it go for now, he was supposed to meet up with Athena for lunch at the mess and he was already cutting it close.</p>
<p>“Very well, carry on.” He nodded at Buck and a couple of other crewmembers before taking his leave. The trip to the mess was short and before long he was settled across his beautiful wife. A wife who obviously knew him all too well</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” She asked. “Don’t tell me that the warp drive is still busted, because I swear I cannot stand to sleep one more night in our bed all by myself.”</p>
<p>“No, no—nothing like that,” Bobby answered. “The warp drive will be okay. It’s just— It’s something Buck said—or rather didn’t say, back in engineering.”</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“Well, it appears we’ll have to take a trip to Earth for maintenance and Eddie’s family on Mars came up. If we go to Earth, that means Eddie and Christopher can go home. You should have seen Buck— he just crumbled in on himself.”</p>
<p>“Oh—” Athena replied, “well, I’m not surprised. The man obviously has it bad for Eddie. And he loves that little boy as if he is his own son.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m worried. Buck always seems to throw himself completely whenever he falls for someone. After Abby and Ali he struggled—especially Abby, but he always managed to crawl back up— with some effort yes, but in the end he succeeded and came back out on top. This time though-- I’m not sure he’ll succeed and that worries me.”</p>
<p>Athena hummed at his statement. She knew what was up. She reached over and gently took his hand in hers.</p>
<p>“Matters of the heart can be complicated sometimes. But we have to have faith in the human heart and that—in the end, if two people are really meant to be together, they’ll find a way. If they don’t—well, that’s their choice.”</p>
<p>Bobby gazed into her eyes. “How did you get to be so wise in the matters of the heart?” He wondered aloud.</p>
<p>Athena smirked at him. “I have a lot of experience in heartbreak,” she said, “but eventually I hit the jackpot, didn’t I?” She squeezed his hand.</p>
<p>“Lucky me,” Bobby replied, gazing into her eyes.</p>
<p>“Lucky you,” Athena said, smirking. Her smile softened though. “But mostly—lucky me.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“Oh Maddie—what am I going to do?” Buck whined, hiding his face behind a pillow.</p>
<p>“Well, here’s an idea—tell him how you feel!” Maddie yelled out exasperated. As soon as Buck had come to her a couple of months ago, after realising that his crush on Eddie had grown into full-blown love, she had been pushing him to tell Eddie. Mostly because she was at least 90% certain that Eddie felt the same. Buck however had no intention whatsoever to comply.</p>
<p>“What?” He peeked up from under the pillow. “No Maddie—that is the worst idea ever. Do you want him to <em>never</em> speak to me again?”</p>
<p>“Buck—I’m telling you—” She was running out of patience now, “just like I’ve told you a thousand times before— he obviously feels the same way. Just tell him, so he can tell you what he feels and you can live happily ever after with Christopher by your side. God knows you love that kid as if he was your own.” She sighed heavily as she was just so <em>done</em> with this conversation. They had been talking about this for about two months now.</p>
<p>She didn’t get it. It was the simplest thing. You liked someone? You felt them out a little and if it felt good, you picked a moment and you told them. She would have understood if Buck was interested in someone who had never shown their cards, but this was Eddie Diaz and if Maddie knew one thing about Eddie in relation to her brother it was that the man adored Buck. She had seen the heart-eyes when Buck wasn’t looking. She had even faintly picked up on the longing he felt for her brother. He wasn’t fooling her and her senses.</p>
<p>Buck tossed the pillow away in frustration. “Here’s a question—how can you be so absolutely certain that he is really interested in me? I mean—he has never told me anything like that and he has certainly never shown me anything but friendship."</p>
<p>Maddie threw back her head in frustration. Had he not been listening at all? "Oh, I don’t know Buck—you know me. You know about my Betazoid genes. I just— I just get a sense of things sometimes and I definitely get that vibe from him.”</p>
<p>Buck shook his head. “Well, for me that just isn’t enough to risk this friendship over Mads. I can’t do it. I don’t want to lose him—or Christopher.”</p>
<p>Maddie sighed as she tried to regain her calm. Her brother didn’t need that kind of negativity right now. He needed support more than anything. “Buck—” she softly said, “if you don’t speak up, you’ll lose them anyway when they go back to Mars.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Buck swallowed, “at least I’ll be able to stay in contact with them. If I ruin our friendship now, he might just break off all contact all together.”</p>
<p>Maddie frowned. “Do you really believe Eddie to be so cruel and thoughtless that he would end your friendship over some unrequited feelings?”</p>
<p>“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time it would happen to me and I don’t want to risk it,” Buck replied, conviction in his voice, “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Fine, be that way—” Maddie said. She knew her stubborn idiot of a brother well enough by now. He wouldn’t yield, “but be aware that he will move on someday and you’ll have to face him as he introduces his new life partner to you. Do you think you’ll be able to handle that?”</p>
<p>Buck looked as if he was starting to feel sick. He swallowed. “If it’s what he wants and this person makes him and Chris happy? Then yes, I’d stomach it.”</p>
<p>Maddie stared at him and then sadly shook her head. “Buck, you’re my brother and I love you so much, but you’re the most head-strong selfless idiot I’ve ever met.”</p>
<p>Buck looked at her, lost on what to do. “Mads, I just—” He stood up and walked over to the window, staring off into the infinity of space. “I’ve never felt anything like this before—not even with Abby. I mean,” he glanced back at Maddie, “I loved Abby. You know that—and when she left, she broke my heart. I always felt like that was the worse heartbreak I’d ever feel because it felt so real—so raw. I had no idea though--” He swallowed and laughed. A hollow sound with no joy in it. “You’re right about one thing—I am an idiot.” A few tears rolled down his cheeks.</p>
<p>“Oh Buck honey, no—” Maddie quickly stood up and walked over to him. She reached up and pulled him into a hug. “You are the greatest brother and the most awesome person I’ve ever met in my life. I’m sorry for calling you an idiot. It’s just— I’m so worried about you.”</p>
<p>Buck engulfed her in his strong arms. “It’s okay Maddie. Don’t be. I’ll be fine in the end. I always am. I’m used to being alone, so—yeah—I’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>Maddie didn’t say anything to that. She just hugged him a little tighter.</p>
<p>Later on, late that same night after Buck had left to catch some sleep, as she was lying comfortably in bed next to the love of her life, the grief suddenly struck her. She couldn’t stop the tears and she tried to keep it down, but in the end Chimney woke up.</p>
<p>“Babe what’s wrong,” he asked, rubbing her back. He sounded confused.</p>
<p>“Nothing—go back to sleep,” Maddie sniffed.</p>
<p>“Yeah—no,” Chim replied, “that didn’t sound like <em>nothing</em> Maddie. What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Maddie sniffed and looked at Chimney. “It’s Buck. He’s just so miserable and lonely right now. I just—I wish he would tell Eddie the truth about being in love with him so Eddie could see how well they fit together.”</p>
<p>Chimney frowned. “Maddie, I get that you love your brother and that you want him to be happy, but if I was in his place I’d keep quiet as well. You can’t blame him for not speaking up.”</p>
<p>“What? Why?” Maddie turned to face him, confusion marring her face.</p>
<p>“Well—” Chim started, “the guy is his best friend. One unrequited love confession has the potential to ruin a great friendship. I wouldn’t want to risk that either.</p>
<p>“But—” Maddie said, “you told <em>me</em> how you felt, right? You asked me out;”</p>
<p>“Yeah, because I knew that you were a sure thing.”</p>
<p>“What?” Maddie’s eyes flew wide open in surprise.</p>
<p>“Look, it had been very obvious from our previous encounters and conversations that there was something there between us. I might not have any magic senses like you, but it sure felt like there was potential in the air. And I have to say-- so far I have not seen one single shred of evidence that Eddie feels even a fraction for Buck of what Buck feels for Eddie.”</p>
<p>“Oh no—Chim, it’s there. It’s all there,” Maddie replied passionately. “I know Eddie is pretty closed off but it’s all there for you to see if you just look beyond the surface.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m not convinced Mads,” Chimney said, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He looked tired.</p>
<p>“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, because Buck isn’t planning on ever telling him.”</p>
<p>“Yeah well—he’s a big boy Maddie. He can handle himself and if this is his decision we need to respect that.” Chimney sighed. “Go to sleep love. It’s late.”</p>
<p>Maddie stared into his eyes for a moment. “Okay,” she sniffed.</p>
<p>Chimney pulled her into his arms for comfort and that’s where she finally fell asleep.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Eddie rubbed his eyes. He was tired. He wanted nothing more than to go to bed and sleep. He couldn’t though. Tomorrow T’Nack was coming into sickbay for her weekly check-up. After the ordeal she had gone through on the Bolian freighter, it had taken quite some time for her to recover. She came by weekly for a check-up to ensure het complete recovery. Normally Hen handled these consultations and Eddie just assisted, but this time Hen had told him he was ready to take the lead. So he was currently catching up on his Vulcan anatomy.</p>
<p>A high-pitched wail suddenly disturbed his concentration.</p>
<p>Christopher.</p>
<p>He ran to his son’s bedside. Chris was sitting up, sweating profusely and crying. Eddie sat down next to him and quickly enfolded him into a loving embrace. He gently rubbed his back and placed kisses on top of his sweaty curls. “Chris, baby—hey, it’s okay. I’m here—dad’s here.”</p>
<p>“Daddy?” Christopher asked. His voice timid and small. Eddie pulled back and took his son’s face in between his palms, making eye-contact. “Yeah, it’s me baby. What’s going on?”</p>
<p>Chris sniffed. “I had a dream that we were back on the moon—like before. And I couldn’t find you, so I kept looking. And then Buck was there, lying on the ground—dead. He was just dead. And you were gone. I was all alone daddy.”</p>
<p>“Hey baby, no—I’m here. You see?” Christopher put his hand against Eddie’s cheek as if to feel if he was really there. “What about Buck?” He asked.</p>
<p>“He’s fine too. Don’t worry about him,” Eddie replied, softly stroking his son’s hair.</p>
<p>“How can you be sure?” Chris asked.</p>
<p>Eddie thought about it for a second. He could always contact Buck to ask him to talk to Chris so he would hear that Buck was fine. But then—Buck was probably already asleep and Eddie felt a bit strange about disturbing him so late at night. On the other hand, Buck had proven time and time again that he put Chris’ happiness above everything else, so maybe he should just follow his first instinct and call him up.</p>
<p>“I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we call Buck up so you can hear his voice,” Eddie finally suggested.</p>
<p>Christopher nodded. “I’d like that.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Eddie sat a little straighter and reached for his comm badge. “Eddie to Chief Buckley.”</p>
<p>It took a moment, but then suddenly—</p>
<p>“Yeaaah, wha—ah—ah—at’s up,” Buck yawned loudly. And now Eddie felt guilty for waking him up.</p>
<p>“Hey Buck. Sorry for disturbing you man, but Chris had a nightmare and he just wanted to hear that you were okay.”</p>
<p>“Oh? A nightmare? Man, those suck. Hey little man—” he addressed Chris.</p>
<p>“Hey Buck,” Christopher sniffed.</p>
<p>“Was it a bad nightmare?” Buck asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was back on the moon, daddy was gone and you were dead,” Chris replied.</p>
<p>“Auwch, that does sound like a bad one. You know what Maddie always did when I was small and had dreams like yours?”</p>
<p>Eddie’s ears perked up. Buck rarely spoke about his childhood and Eddie collected all the morsels he shared.</p>
<p>Chris shook his head and replied. “No.”</p>
<p>“Well, she always sung me the <em>Happy Song</em> to make me feel better. Do you know it?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so,” Chris replied.</p>
<p>“Here, I’ll sing it for you. Just settle down under the covers and make yourself comfortable. Then you close your eyes.”</p>
<p>Eddie helped tuck Chris in under the covers and watched as he closed his eyes.</p>
<p>“Okay, ready?” Buck asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Okay, here we go—</p>
<p><em>Bring! Bring! On the bicycle</em><em><br/>Beep! Beep! In the car<br/>Ping! Ping! A submarine<br/>Phew! Phew! helicopter<br/>A choo-choo train<br/>An aeroplane<br/>A "wee!" down the slide<br/><br/>I just adore-dore-dore<br/>You every day more<br/>Wherever we are</em>…”</p>
<p>Eddie was mesmerised. Buck had a nice singing voice. Nothing spectacular, but it was surprisingly melodic and could hold a tune. But most of all it was the fact that the man was singing his friend’s son a lullaby in the middle of the night because he had just had a nightmare. Who did that? It made Eddie want things he had no right to want. And oh he <em>wanted</em>--</p>
<p>“<em>You little monkey<br/>You're staying up late<br/>Who purrs like a cat<br/>When they get their own way<br/>Who then turns into a lion<br/>Who lets out a...</em></p>
<p>
  <em>I love-love-love<br/>You every day more<br/>Whatever's in store</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ooh up in the sky<br/>And deep in the ocean<br/>Through valleys and hills<br/>Away we go</em>
</p>
<p><em>Ooh up in the sky<br/>And deep in the ocean<br/>Through valleys and hills<br/>Away we go—</em>”</p>
<p>Buck trailed off. “Is he asleep?” He whispered through the comm.</p>
<p>Eddie had trouble finding a his voice for a moment. “Yeah,” he croaked, “he is.” He looked at his son, all snuggled up and breathing evenly. Nightmare all but forgotten. He sighed. Buck did that. Buck set his son’s mind at ease by singing a simple song.</p>
<p>“That was beautiful.” Eddie flushed. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. But it was true though. The way Buck had sung that song, intimately and small, only for Chris to hear—it had felt almost magical and Eddie had a hard time keeping all the emotions he was experiencing to himself.</p>
<p>There was a long silence on the other side of the comm. “Buck?” Eddie asked, a little afraid that he might have given himself away.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m here—thanks,” he softly replied. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I am now,” Eddie said. “Because of you,” he added hesitantly.</p>
<p>Another long pause.</p>
<p>“Eddie—I—you have to know that I—” Buck started. He sounded emotional and it immediately caught Eddie’s attention. His heart suddenly going in overdrive. “What?”</p>
<p>“I just—I—” He could hear Buck sigh on the other side.</p>
<p>“Buck?”</p>
<p>“Nothing—just—no, it’s nothing. Just a silly thing really. I—I— So, has—has Chris been having a lot of nightmares lately? I thought it was getting better?” And Eddie knew a deflection technique when he heard one. He softly got up from Christopher’s bed and walked back into the main room.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he replied, “it was getting better, but ever since his surgery the nightmares have returned in full force. Your sister thinks that the stress of the procedure must have triggered something.”</p>
<p>“Poor little guy,” Buck said, worry colouring his voice. “His walking has improved so much. There should be nothing but happiness in his life right now. I just wish that he could catch a break.”</p>
<p>“Hey, preaching to the choir here,” Eddie replied, dragging his hand through his hair. He wished he could just take away all of Chris’s worries, but unfortunately life didn’t work that way. “Well—hopefully he’ll continue to improve and the nightmares will eventually go away.”</p>
<p>“Yeah—" Buck didn’t sound convinced. Eddie didn’t blame him, he wasn’t all that convinced that it would be that simple himself.</p>
<p>He wearily sat down on the couch and an easy silence settled between them. “Buck?” Eddie hesitated for a second, a little afraid to ask the question that was occupying his mind.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Buck replied, his voice soft and husky. It made Eddie’s breath hitch. Here they were, sharing a moment in the dead of night. That one moment of the day where the silence weighed the heaviest and loneliness hurt the most. But Eddie didn’t feel lonely now. He felt complete, just talking to the man he—</p>
<p>He swallowed. “What were you going to say earlier? You deflected and changed the topic, but—there was something there in your voice. Was it important?”</p>
<p>Buck sighed audibly. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t—it’s just—the way I—” he trailed off. Eddie heard some kind of scratchy sound through the comm. He could almost see Buck scratching the stubble on his cheeks in his mind’s eye.</p>
<p>“Buck?”</p>
<p> “Eddie, I— I should really go back to sleep now. It’s been a long day and tomorrow doesn’t promise to be any shorter.”</p>
<p>Eddie was strangely disappointed. He didn’t know why, but for a moment there he had thought that—but no, that was a stupid thought. Buck would never—</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right,” he acquiesced. “I should probably turn in as well. I was studying, but I think I’m calling it a day.”</p>
<p>“Okay, well—goodnight Eddie.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight Buck.”</p>
<p>Eddie took a brief moment of contemplation before he got up and stepped into the bathroom. A quick shower before bed would do him good. As he was underneath the warmth of the sonic shower, it occurred to him that he might be getting too close to Buck to keep guard of his emotions. It was clear that Chris was feeling it too. He had been dreaming of Buck dying. What would happen when it was time to leave the 118? Chris would be devastated. And Eddie— just the thought of leaving the space he had carved out for himself on board of the ship, leaving his friends, his co-workers, his—Buck. It hurt. A hollow feeling of loneliness descended upon him. The mere thought of leaving his friend— the man he was in love with, was crushing him. Maybe it would be better for all parties involved if they would take a little distance from each other before the inevitable would occur. After all, it couldn’t be easy for Buck either, knowing that his best friend and the kid he loved so much would be leaving him soon.</p>
<p>The more he thought about it, the more the idea resonated. It was a sound and smart choice. Creating distance would reduce the pain of leaving and if there was one thing Eddie was good at, it was avoiding difficult emotions.</p>
<p>He would start tomorrow though. Tonight he would go to bed and he would dream of warm hands and strong arms holding him close, keeping him safe for the first time in years.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>The next morning, Chimney had just left his quarters when he came across Buck in the corridor. He had already accepted that he would be late for bridge-duty because of the faulty alarm clock Maddie insisted on using instead of just asking the computer to wake them up at the right time. Perks of being in command though was that no one would be calling him out for being five minutes late.</p>
<p>“Hey Buck! Are you on your way to see Maddie? ‘Cause she isn’t at home. She had a therapy appointment at 8.30 AM.”</p>
<p>Buck smiled. “Hey Chim. No, actually I’m on my way to Eddie’s. Chris had a pretty intense nightmare last night. I’m just going over to quickly check on him. I have about 40 minutes before my shift starts, so—”</p>
<p>Chim frowned. “That doesn’t sound good. Do you know what his dream was about?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, apparently it was pretty bad. He dreamt that he was back on Sitèria. He couldn’t find his dad anywhere and I was there as well, lying dead on the floor.”</p>
<p>“Auwch, that sounds terrible. Luckily he has the best counsellor to help him out,” Chim replied cheekily.</p>
<p>Buck smiled at him. “True. Maddie’s the best.”</p>
<p>Chim smirked back. “<em>That</em> she is my friend. That she is—”</p>
<p>They quietly walked through the corridors until they reached the Diaz’s quarters. Buck was just about to hit the chime, when Chim stopped him with a hand to his arm. “Hold on, doesn’t Christopher have school today? Is he even at home?” Chim asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he has school, but only this afternoon,” Buck replied, touching the pad to alert Eddie of his presence. “Apparently Josh had some private tutoring lessons this morning, so he pushed the classes back until the afternoon.”</p>
<p>Eddie was quick to open the door. His eyes fixated on Buck immediately. “Buck?” Chimney could see the exact moment when Eddie realised that his commanding officer was there as well. Eddie’s posture changed from slouchy to ram-rod straight. He nodded. “Commander.”</p>
<p>“Eddie—” Chimney said, rolling his eyes. Exasperation obvious.</p>
<p>“Yeah—hi Chimney,” Eddie corrected himself, a little grin settling on his face. Chimney got the distinct notion that, lately, Eddie had reverted back to calling him <em>Commander</em> or <em>Sir</em> just to mess with him.</p>
<p>When he glanced over at Buck he caught him gazing at Eddie as if the man had hung the moon. He couldn’t supress his knowing smirk. He was being so obvious. Someone had to be blind as a bat to not notice those heart eyes. The guy had it bad all right.</p>
<p>Eddie focused his attention back on Buck who, right on time, managed to school his features into something more appropriate for a best friend instead of a pining fool. “Hey Eddie,” he casually said, “so—how is Chris? I thought I’d stop by before work to spend some time with him.” Eddie frowned and he quickly looked away from Buck. From his vantage point Chimney could see a whole array of conflicting emotions rolling across his face. He was clearly struggling with something. Then, as if on cue, his features smoothed out and he became like a blank canvas, all emotions gone. Only then did he look back at Buck.</p>
<p>“Uhm—yeah, sorry Buck, but Chris is in the shower right now so you know— no point of staying here,” Eddie said rather brusquely.</p>
<p>Buck’s face fell. “Oh—okay, then I’ll just—” he pointed back into the corridor.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s probably for the best. He won’t be out for a while anyway,” Eddie replied.</p>
<p>Now, Chimney would be the first to admit that he wasn’t exactly the best judge of character but even he could pick up that something was very wrong here. He recognised a lie when he heard one and right now Eddie was obviously full of shit. Judging by Buck’s reaction, he knew it too.</p>
<p>Of course that was the exact moment that Chris decided to stick his head out of the door—his hair a complete mess and decidedly not showered.</p>
<p>“Buck?” he asked, excitement in his voice.</p>
<p>Eddie’s face turned as red as a tomato as he realised he had been caught red-handed.</p>
<p>“Are you here to see us? Are you having breakfast with us?” Chris asked with a big smile.</p>
<p>Buck smiled back at Christopher, love shining in his eyes. “Uhm—no buddy, actually I have to start my shift in a couple of minutes.”</p>
<p>Wait a minute, hadn’t Buck just told him that he had 40 minutes to spare before his shift started? Chimney cringed. These guys needed to learn how to communicate properly without any lies. This was a recipe for disaster.</p>
<p>“I-- I just wanted to check in to see if you were okay. You obviously are, so—I’ll go now,” he awkwardly explained, quickly glancing back at Eddie who was now trying his very best to stare a hole into the ground in order to avoid direct confrontation.</p>
<p>Chris’s face fell. “Oh, that’s too bad.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, maybe some other time,” Buck replied, reaching out to stroke Christopher’s cheek.</p>
<p>Eddie didn’t speak as he kept staring at the ground. Silence descended and the awkward tension grew until Chimney just couldn’t bear it anymore.</p>
<p>“Well, I think it’s time to go now,” he interjected. “Buck?”</p>
<p>Buck looked at him, a grateful glint in his eyes. “Yeah—okay,” he replied. He turned back to Chris and gently ruffled his hair. “Bye buddy.” Next he looked at Eddie. “Eddie.” His voice was sharp and on edge. Eddie looked up at him, guilt clear in his eyes. He knew he was in trouble.</p>
<p>“Come on Chim,” Buck said and turned. Chimney quickly said goodbye to the Diaz’s and followed him, doing his best to catch up as Buck almost raced away through the corridor. Ah, to have the advantage of long legs.</p>
<p>He wasn’t quite sure what compelled him, but as he was about to turn the corner towards the turbo-lift, he glanced back one last time. Chris was gone, but Eddie was still there, standing in the middle of the open door. He was transfixed and didn’t even seem to notice Chimney looking at him. His eyes were glued to the corner Buck had just disappeared behind. There was a pained look in his eyes. And then there was the obvious longing. It was right there, written all over his face. And man—Chim shook his head. Maddie was right once again. Eddie was obviously just as much in love with Buck as Buck was with Eddie. Then what was with the sudden standoffish behaviour?</p>
<p>He shook his head and finally set in motion again to catch up to Buck, who was waiting for him at the turbo-lift.</p>
<p>“You okay?” He gently inquired as soon as he reached him.</p>
<p>Buck looked at him with red rimmed eyes. He barely managed a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”</p>
<p>Chimney sighed and rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>He was surrounded by pining idiots.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“So, did you know that Buck and Eddie were madly head over heels in love with each other? Please tell me you didn’t, because then I wouldn’t be the last to know,” Chimney asked as he sat down across from Hen in the mess. They had agreed to meet up there for their weekly gossip session.</p>
<p>Chimney had met Hen twelve years ago when they both worked on the Enterprise together. It had been friendship at first sight. Something about their personalities clicked so well and Chimney had always felt like he could tell Hen anything and he expected nothing less from her. He knew that his friend was an excellent judge of character and she always seemed to know more about what was going on with the crew. That’s why he was baffled that she hadn’t told him.</p>
<p>Hen looked at him, merriment in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Please—” she started, “Buck has been obvious since the first month that Eddie was here. You’d have to be blind <em>and</em> deaf to not have noticed all those sparks flying around whenever he looked at Eddie. And there were some subtle signs there that Eddie wasn’t all that bothered by Buck’s attention. I mean, I needed sunglasses whenever they were in each other’s vicinity.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Chimney asked. He tried to think back to all the times he had seen Buck and Eddie spending time together in the past. It’s true that, in retrospect, Buck had been obvious—but Eddie? “I knew about Buck because Maddie pointed it out to me and then it wasn’t hard to pick up on, but Eddie? I just never saw it before.”</p>
<p>“Chim—” Hen replied, her eyebrows shot up in disbelief, “have you forgotten about the Bolian freighter emergency? Eddie practically went feral when that crazy lady had taken Buck hostage. He turned into some soldier-robot to break the man out. Hell, he even left Chris behind on the 118.” She paused for a moment. “I mean, let that sink in for a second Chimney—Eddie ‘<em>father of the year</em>’ Diaz leaving his son into someone else’s care without looking back once? It was all there for everyone to see. To be fair though—”</p>
<p>She suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. “I was an unwilling witness to a very private moment in sickbay after Buck had just been rescued. He was asleep and Eddie came in at night. I was there, but he didn’t notice me and I didn’t want to disturb him. It would have made things awkward. But—yeah, that moment really confirmed to me that Eddie is just as crazy about Buck. It was all there— that boy is in love all right.”</p>
<p>“Huh, I suppose I did notice Buck’s feelings back then, but I never picked up on Eddie’s. Well, it’s a moot point now anyway, because I surely noticed it this morning.”</p>
<p>Hen leaned over the table. “Why? What happened?”</p>
<p>“Buck wanted to visit Chris since he’d had a nightmare the night before and he wanted to see how he was doing. But Eddie was very dismissive. He practically forbade Buck to come in, even when it became obvious that the excuse he had used to keep Buck out had been a blatant lie.”</p>
<p>“Really? Interesting—Eddie is usually always bending over backwards to accommodate Buck. I wonder what happened?” She mused.</p>
<p>“Yeah well—Buck looked devastated and Eddie looked guilty as hell. I wish those idiots would just pull their heads out of their asses and go for it.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think it’s that easy,” Hen replied. “Eddie and Chris are leaving pretty soon, remember?”</p>
<p>Chim hummed. “Yeah still—better to have loved and lost than not loved at all, right?”</p>
<p>Hen looked thoughtful. “Maybe—but maybe Eddie has lost enough love as it is and he has decided that he doesn’t ever want to feel like that again?”</p>
<p>“Damn—” Chimney replied, “you’re right. He did lose his wife in that crash. That must have been a horrible experience.” He thought about it for a moment. He envisioned himself in Eddie’s place, losing Maddie like that—yeah, no—he wouldn’t be all that eager to start something with someone new either. He shuddered at the mere possibility of ever losing Maddie like that.</p>
<p>“Look,” Hen caught his attention. “I don’t pretend to know exactly what is going on between those two, but if it’s meant to be, they’ll work it out. I’m sure of it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I hope you’re right, because I hate seeing Buck this miserable. It makes Maddie miserable as well and I don’t like it,” Chimney replied.</p>
<p>Hen picked up her drink. “Here’s to Buck and Eddie. May they work things out.”</p>
<p>Chimney lifted his glass in return. “Hear hear, may they find the most wonderful love, just like we did.”</p>
<p>Hen smiled at him and nodded. “Hear hear indeed.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to stay on top of the updates. :)</p>
<p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this. I know I loved writing it. If you did enjoy, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo and/or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on all that's going on in this chapter or in the overall story.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The misunderstanding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie took a step closer to him, right into his personal space. “Buck?” he asked. He seemed to be studying Buck’s face, looking for the mystery hiding behind his eyes. And because Buck was crap at keeping his emotions at bay, it didn’t take long for Eddie’s confusion to turn into discovery. Buck knew the exact moment it clicked for Eddie. His eyes got impossibly wide and he backed away from him. It made Buck’s chest hurt. This was it— this was the moment where everything would change and he would lose Eddie forever.</p>
<p>AKA Misunderstandings lead to broken hearts.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, this one took a lot longer to finish than the other chapters. I got sick with the flu, so I couldn't focus on writing for about a week. And work has been rough lately. So yeah--</p>
<p>However, I am very pleased with this chapter. There isn't much overarching plot going on, but Buck and Eddie's relationship is taken to a new level and that was so much fun to write. I really focused on the characters and their emotions. The plot will return in the following chapters though. I'm not quite sure how many chapters it'll turn out to be in the end, since I keep on adding stuff when I'm writing.</p>
<p>As I said before, this fic will definitely be finished, but it might take a little longer than I had anticipated. There is some more delay between chapters and I can't predict how long it'll be for the new chapter to be posted. It could be two to three weeks or longer. We'll see.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bobby stared outside through the window of his ready room. Less than a minute ago he had finished a conversation with admiral Janeway. The orders were finally in. The 118 was to return to Earth. It had taken a couple of weeks to receive official permission after he had made a formal request, but now they were being recalled to Earth for maintenance, to replace the malfunctioning energy-inhibitor. Something they urgently needed to make the warp core function properly again.</p>
<p>He was about to relay the message to the crew, fully aware that most of them would be ecstatic to hear the news. Some still had families waiting for them. Families they hadn’t seen in years. Bobby should be happy for them, and he was, only— he also knew a few other people who wouldn’t be so welcoming to the news. He sighed and closed his eyes. There were moments when Buck almost felt like a son to him and knowing that he was about to hurt him didn’t sit well with him.</p>
<p>And it wasn’t just Buck he was worried about. Bobby hated the fact that Eddie and Christopher would be leaving the 118. They had been aboard for almost a year now and they seemed to have found a true home here. Bobby had to admit that Chris was a joy to have around and Eddie had been such a great help in sickbay. Hen had kept him up to date with Eddie’s progress and according to her he was one of the quickest learners she had ever come across. Eddie was fast on the uptake and could think on his feet when necessary. Both important qualities of a good sickbay aide. This was high praise coming from a perfectionist like Hen. So yeah, it really sucked that they were leaving—no way around it. He would be sad to see them go.</p>
<p>His thoughts strayed to Buck again. He wasn’t a fool. He had noticed that something had been off between Eddie and Buck the last couple of weeks. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but whenever they had been in the room together the air had turned  frigid between them. Bobby had gotten so used to seeing Eddie and Buck attached at the hip that it felt really out of place to see them going out of their way to avoid each other. Now, he had seen it happening, but he was a sensible man. He had no intention whatsoever to touch the subject with a ten foot pole. All he knew was that hearts were inevitably going to be broken as soon as they reached their destination.</p>
<p>But well— there was really no point on dwelling on something he couldn’t change. He finally gathered his thoughts and made the ship-wide announcement.</p>
<p>“This is Captain Nash. I have some great news to share with all of you. We have been away from home for almost 2 years and 4 months now. It has been a long and arduous journey on which we have helped out and saved as many souls as possible. Therefore I am happy to let you all know that I have just received orders from Starfleet Command to return to Earth for ship maintenance. We will leave right away. If all goes to plan we are expected to arrive on Earth within a month. So yeah, this is it— we’re going home folks!”</p>
<p>As expected the loud noise of happy cries could be heard from the bridge next door. Bobby smiled. His crew had worked hard the last two years. This break would be well-deserved. Secretly he was very pleased to go home as well. The Nash family had shrunk consideringly the last couple of years, but his old aunt Betty had prevailed. He was quite looking forward to seeing her again. His smile diminished when he thought about visiting his family’s graves. No matter how long ago he lost them, the thought of his wife and children always reminded him of his constant companions in life: guilt and grief. They were always lurking around the corner, waiting to strike during the silent moments when he had too much time to think. He suspected they always would.</p>
<p>He inhaled deeply as he centred himself, bringing the focus back to the only thing that mattered now—</p>
<p>Getting his people safely home.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Athena was just about to leave the mess after breakfast when suddenly Bobby’s voice came over the comm. They were going home. She smiled as she watched happy people around her starting to clap. Some jumped up from their chairs, hugging their friends. Excitement ran through her as she thought about finally seeing her parents again. Even though Athena and her mother had never really seen eye to eye, she still loved her very much and her father was a total sweetheart. She turned her thoughts to Michael. Harry and May would be ecstatic to see their father again, for sure. Michael loved those kids like no father had ever loved his children before. She knew how hard it was on him to not be there for them in person.</p>
<p>Athena kept him up to date on their lives aboard the ship and she always let him know how the kids were doing. May and Harry often had private calls with their dad as well, no doubt to complain about their too strict mother. She chuckled as she thought about Harry accusing her of being a dictator last night, simply because she had restricted his holodeck time. His last two Math tests had been atrocious, so no more holodeck until those grades had gone up.</p>
<p>Still smiling she stood up, ready to deposit her tray into the replicator, when her eye fell on one of the tables in the corner. Eddie and Christopher were there, and— from the looks of it— they were in the middle of a very heated argument. Right at that moment, Christopher got up quite roughly, his chair tumbling down behind him—</p>
<p>“—No, I don’t dad! Why don’t you go alone then? I don’t want to go! I don’t know any of those people! They are not my family! I want to stay here! With my friends, with Harry and Buck!!!”</p>
<p>He quickly gathered his crutch and hightailed it out of the mess with a lot more speed and grace then he had managed before his surgery. Athena was impressed. The kid was making great progress.</p>
<p>She looked back at Eddie, who hadn’t moved from his seat. His hands were buried in his hair. She could see him pulling at it in frustration. She winced in sympathy. That had to hurt. He hadn’t noticed her staring at him. He was looking intently at his plate as if it would suddenly come alive and give him all the answers he needed.</p>
<p>Athena sighed.</p>
<p>“Men—” she mumbled. She quickly got rid of her tray and made her way over to Eddie’s table. Once there she picked up the overturned chair and sat down. Eddie still hadn’t moved.</p>
<p>“Are you here to chastise me?” He finally asked, acknowledging Athena. “Because if you are—you shouldn’t bother. I already feel like a complete heel. No way you can make it any worse.”</p>
<p>Athena sighed again. “Nope,” she replied, “no chastising here. I come in peace. As a friend I feel that I’m obliged to tell you that I am worried, <em>both</em> about you and that boy of yours.” She faintly nodded in the direction of the door.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Eddie asked, lifting his head to look at her. His eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he hadn’t slept a wink for -at least- a couple of days. “Get in line. Hen has been inviting me over for dinner every single night for the last week. Trying to lure me into talking about my <em>feelings</em>. Why can’t people just accept that I want to be left alone!? I can deal with my own problems.”</p>
<p>Athena was unimpressed by his outburst. She knew where it was coming from. She had been there. That point where all she wanted was to be left in peace, rehashing all the moments when she had failed her children— over and over again. Luckily she also knew -courtesy of Hen who can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes- that it was never a good idea to give in to these moments of loneliness. She spoke from experience knowing full well that those moments could lead to some pretty dark places.</p>
<p>“Can you now?” Athena retorted. “Cause from where I am sitting you are screwing up badly on <em>dealing with your problems</em>.”</p>
<p>Eddie seemed annoyed by the truth. “No, that’s not—it’s not—it’s just—”</p>
<p>“What?” Athena asked. “You know— I’ve learned in life, through trial and error, that it’s okay to let people in when you have a problem. It’s always better to share your problems so you can let someone else help you out. There’s no shame in that.”</p>
<p>Eddie seemed to deflate in front of her. He rubbed his forehead and spoke. “I have been trying to keep Buck away from Chris— <em>and myself</em> the last couple of weeks.”</p>
<p>Athena’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, I know about that,” Athena nodded, “I’ve been sitting in the front row, observing how you rejected that sweet man over and over again whenever he wanted to spend some time with you and Christopher. The question is not that you did this, but why did you do it?”</p>
<p>“I just felt like Christopher and I needed some time apart from Buck, that’s all,” he replied. His eyes shifting guiltily to the right.</p>
<p>“Why?” Athena asked, undeterred by Eddie’s behaviour.</p>
<p>“Because—” he started, “I thought it would make it more easy for us to leave the 118 behind. Or—that’s what I tried to tell myself anyway.”</p>
<p>“Did it work?”</p>
<p>“No, not really,” Eddie admitted. “We’ve both been missing Buck like crazy. Chris is pissed at me— rightfully so.”</p>
<p>“And what about Buck’s feelings?” Athena asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Eddie replied, roughly rubbing his hand over his chin. “He just looks so dejected every time I say no— I just, I hate hurting him.”</p>
<p>“Then maybe you should stop doing it, grow a pair and talk to the man. You know— like grown-ups do,” Athena suggested.</p>
<p>Eddie looked resigned. “You’re probably right.”</p>
<p>“Of course I am,” she replied. “I always am.”</p>
<p>Eddie chuckled and threw up his hands. “All right, I get it. I need to talk to Buck.”</p>
<p>“Yes you do. You need to tell that man exactly why you’ve been acting like an idiot lately by keeping him away from that boy of yours.” Athena frowned. “Eddie— Buck loves that kid so much and from everything I’ve seen it’s mutual. Keeping them apart is cruel and that simply isn’t you at all.”</p>
<p>Eddie swallowed. He looked defeated. “I know,” he said. “I’ll talk to him tonight. I promise.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Athena replied as she got up. “Now if you’ll excuse me. I have work to do.”</p>
<p>Eddie nodded at her. “Have fun.”</p>
<p>Athena snorted. “Yeah—<em>fun</em> has nothing to do with <em>work</em>.” She started to turn, but hesitated and looked back. “You know Eddie—Christopher isn’t the only person Buck missed when you pushed him way.”</p>
<p>Eddie looked up at her, his eyes full of regret. “I know,” he admitted, “I know.”</p>
<p>“Good, then I think you’re ready to talk to him.” Then she turned and swiftly walked out, leaving a confused Eddie behind. She really hoped those boys would talk it out, because she had just about had it with all the drama.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Eddie remained seated for a while after Athena left. Her advice stuck with him. She had been right— he had to talk to Buck because shutting him out was hurting everyone involved. Christopher had regular temper tantrums and Buck looked like a rejected dog every time Eddie saw him. Not to mention his own feelings. The days and evenings spent in Buck’s company had always been precious to him. Especially the ones after he had figured out how he really felt about his best friend. The more he had talked to the man, the deeper he had fallen for his bubbly uplifting personality and witty humour. And it certainly helped that he was drop dead gorgeous.</p>
<p>So when Eddie had decided to cut off close contact to <em>save</em> himself and his son from heartbreak, he hadn’t taken into account that he would be breaking his own heart as well by pulling away from Buck. It only made him realise even more just how much he would miss the man when they’d be back home, on Mars.</p>
<p>
  <em>Home.</em>
</p>
<p>For some reason that word didn’t sound right anymore. For the longest of time, growing up, Mars had been his home, his safe place— until it wasn’t anymore and he had to leave its toxic environment behind. But when he had been rescued from Sitèria, he had started looking forward to returning there. The thought of going back to <em>Solis Lacus</em>, the city he grew up in, had filled him with excitement and contentment. He had realised just how much he missed his sisters, his tia and abuela.</p>
<p>His parents though—yeah, that was a whole other matter.</p>
<p>When he had first been aboard the 118 he had had no desire or inclination to talk to his parents after all those years. Mainly because he really didn’t know what to say to them anymore. They had not parted on good terms all those years ago and just because Shannon was gone now, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t angry with them anymore. However, they had kept on trying to contact him every few weeks and he had finally caved about 5 months ago. Surprisingly their first contact had been great. Both his parents were still recognisable— older, but the same in many ways. His mother had wept throughout the entire first conversation and his father had actually looked happy to see him for a change.</p>
<p>They had met and talked to Christopher for a long time that first day and Eddie had felt content. It had been a long time since he had a positive feeling concerning his parents. But then, just as he had been lulled into a false sense of security <em>it</em> had happened. During one of their conversations, a couple of weeks later, the mood had changed for the worse. And well, let’s just say <em>that</em> conversation hadn’t ended on the best of terms. His father had apparently already started planning Eddie and Christopher’s future on Mars without consulting him once. Even worse, his mother had started searching for a potential new ‘parents approved’ wife for him, because apparently it was time for him to—</p>
<p>“—really need to move on Eddie. You need a woman. Every child needs a mother and you could use a good wife, not like— well, no use speaking ill of the dead now. After all, Shannon is gone now and—”</p>
<p>Eddie had been so disgusted that he had cut off their conversation before she could finish that thought. Thank God Christopher had been at school and hadn’t heard any of it. The mere idea of his son hearing his grandmother talk like that about the mother he never even had the chance to meet, made Eddie feel physically ill. Ever since that moment, contact with his parents had been sparse. Every conversation had felt stilted and difficult.</p>
<p>Thank God for his abuela. As soon as he had seen her face again, he had started crying. He couldn’t help it. While on Sitèria he had been so sure that he would never see her again since she was already quite old when they left Mars. But there she was, in flesh and blood, tears rolling down her face at seeing her favourite grandchild again. She had immediately demanded to see Christopher and there had been an instant click between them. It didn’t take very long for them to build a strong bond. Chris adored his bisabuela just as much as Eddie did.</p>
<p>The same with tia Pepa and his sisters, Adriana and Sophia. They had immediately gotten back in the groove as if no time had passed at all. He had been shocked to see his youngest sister Sophia all grown up. When he had left she had only been 15. Now she was a grown woman. They had continued to meet up as a group, talking about everyday life, getting to know each other all over again as adults. He had told them about everything he did aboard, his life, his job, his friends, Christopher’s schooling, Buck… Well, he had told them Buck was his best friend, but they hadn’t a clue just how deep his feelings for his best friend ran. Although he had an inkling Adriana suspected something. She had always known him better than anyone. Being so close in age they had spent a lot of time together as children.</p>
<p>He would love to see them again in real life, but <em>home</em>? Home didn’t feel like Mars anymore. Home felt like a Starfleet ship called the 118. Home felt like his new found family right here. And mostly— home felt like <em>Buck</em>.</p>
<p>He sighed. There was no way out of it. Even though Captain Nash had been very accommodating and nice about him staying on board for as long as he wanted. Eddie knew that no Starfleet Captain was waiting on an ex-Martian Army vet living on his ship permanently. He hadn’t attended Starfleet and he was sure there were a lot of other potential candidates out there who would do a better job working in sickbay than him. It wouldn’t be fair to take their spot. He had to leave— he just had to.</p>
<p>Even if it would break his son’s heart.</p>
<p>Even if—</p>
<p>Even if it would crush his own.</p>
<p>He got up from his seat. He was expected in sickbay for the start of his shift in 10 minutes. He made up his mind. That night he would go to Buck and address the issue. He was an adult. Instead of handling the situation like a child by avoiding his problems, he would face them head on. It was the only way to keep Buck as a friend.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>As soon as Buck got to his quarters he stripped off all his clothes and jumped into the sonic shower to wash off the dirt and grime that clung to his sweaty body. He had been doing maintenance on the main circuits today and that always meant crawling into Jefferies tubes, tight and narrow passages that really weren’t designed for someone of his height. And honestly, at any other time, he would have ordered someone else to do the job, perk of being the Chief. But today he had needed the distraction of mindless work. It did an adequate job of getting his mind off other <em>things</em>— or people for that matter. People like Eddie who, lately had been avoiding him as if he had the plague. <em>Things</em> like missing Christopher so much that it felt like he was missing a limb.</p>
<p>It hurt even more now that he knew that Eddie was dating Ana Flores. The second he had seen them in the mess, all cosy and close together, Ana laughing at Eddie’s joke, Buck had hightailed it out of there. That had been three days ago and he had been avoiding the mess like the plague since then. He wasn’t ready for Eddie to have a girlfriend. The thought alone made him feel sick. The kicker was that he quite liked Ana and he was certain that she’d be good for Eddie and Christopher. It’s just—</p>
<p>If only Eddie would look at him the way he looked at Ana. He was so sure that he could make the Diaz family happier than she ever could.</p>
<p>He rested his forehead against the wall as the sound of the sonic shower lulled him into a state of utter calm. He was about to fall asleep where he was standing when he heard his door chime. He sighed. “Really? Now?” he muttered. He quickly stepped out of the shower and put on a pair of clean sweatpants. No need to flash anyone <em>the goods</em>. He quickly ran towards the door and opened it, only to find nobody there. Buck frowned and he stepped into the corridor. What he saw there nearly stole his breath. Eddie was walking away from him, slightly hunched over, as if he was disappointed that Buck hadn’t been there. His heart started beating faster.</p>
<p>“Eddie hey!” Buck called out before he could think it through. No matter what—Eddie was still his friend and he would treat him as such.</p>
<p>Eddie stiffened and turned around. “Buck,” he started, “I thought you weren’t there I must have—”</p>
<p>His rambling came to a halt as he laid eyes on Buck.</p>
<p>“—oh.”</p>
<p>Eddie was full-on staring at him and Buck suddenly felt naked, standing there in the corridor only wearing sweats. “Uhm, you uh—you want to come in?” he asked. Eddie just nodded. “Okay then, well— I feel a little underdressed here, so I’m going to throw on a T-shirt.” Buck quickly darted back inside, making sure the door stayed open behind him. He could hear Eddie shuffling in before the door whooshed close.</p>
<p>Still with his back towards Eddie, Buck reached for the T-shirt he had taken from his closet earlier, ready to wear as soon as he got out of his shower. As he tugged on the shirt he started talking. “So, what brings you to my neck of the woods so late at night? I thought you were trying to avoid me.” He could hear a soft gasp from behind him. What? Did Eddie really think he hadn’t noticed. He took a deep breath and turned around. Eddie was staring at the ground, his cheeks a tint darker than normal.</p>
<p>“So?” Buck demanded.</p>
<p>Eddie finally looked up at him, his eyes filled with guilt. “I’m sorry,” he said. But Buck wasn’t having it. He had been ignored and treated like a stranger by his supposedly <em>best friend</em>. He didn’t have to stand for this. “Sorry for what? Ignoring me?” he asked. “Or perhaps for keeping Chris away from me as if I’m some kind of pariah?”</p>
<p>Eddie’s guilt seemed to intensify and the first pangs of regret starting piercing through the veil of Buck’s anger until it finally deflated and he was left with nothing but sadness. “I just—why Eddie? Why did you make me feel like shit? Like I meant <em>nothing</em> to you?” To his horror he felt tears welling up. The last thing he wanted was to break down in front of Eddie.</p>
<p>Eddie’s face seemed to lose all colour. He took a few tentative steps towards Buck and hesitantly reached out a hand, which he gently put on his shoulder. His thumb rested on Buck’s collarbone and the warmth of his hand seeped into Buck’s skin. He soaked it up.</p>
<p>“I’m so incredibly sorry Buck. I never set out to hurt you. It’s just—I—” He sighed deeply as he looked straight into Buck’s eyes. “When Chris had that nightmare and I called you up to talk to him— do you remember that?”</p>
<p>Buck nodded, his voice too wobbly to speak.</p>
<p>“Well, after that incident I just— I started thinking of how co-dependent we had become. Chris dreamed of you dying and I saw it as a normal thing to call you in the middle of the night to console my own kid. It wasn’t normal at all and it just hit me that the closer we became, the harder it would be for him to say goodbye when the time came, so I backed off.”</p>
<p>“Okay, hold on— what exactly are you saying here?” Buck asked, his voice rising with confusion. “Are you telling me that you just— singlehandedly decided to kill off our friendship because you were afraid of Chris feeling normal and natural emotions?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Eddie admitted, his eyes still boring into his, trying to gauge Buck’s reaction.</p>
<p>“What the hell Eddie!? That has to be the single dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Buck replied with anger. “You basically decided that— <em>all of us </em>being unhappy <em>now</em> is better than being unhappy somewhere in the future? Eddie, what were you thinking?”</p>
<p>“That’s just the thing Buck,” Eddie replied, desperate to explain, “I wasn’t. I was acting out of fear. I didn’t want Chris to get too attached to you so it wouldn’t hurt as much to leave, but then— then after a while I realised that it was too late for that. He already was attached— we both were, I just didn’t want to see it. I’m sorry— I’m an idiot.”</p>
<p>Buck smiled at him, all of his previous anger forgotten. “Yeah, you are. That’s firmly established. But— I do kind of get what you were trying to do and— I understand. You wanted to protect Chris from heartbreak.”</p>
<p>Eddie sighed. “Not just Chris though,” he sofly said, avoiding Buck’s eyes.</p>
<p>Buck swallowed. Hold on. Was Eddie really saying that—</p>
<p>“Are you dating Ana?” Buck flapped out. Internally he started freaking out, because he had not planned on asking that question at all, but it had just popped out.</p>
<p>Eddie seemed confused by his question. Unsure where Buck was going with this. “Uhm— no, I mean— I seriously considered it, but it just didn’t seem worth the hassle. You know? To get involved with someone knowing that our time is limited didn’t seem like the best of ideas. Besides, looking back at it now— she isn’t really my type anyway.” Somewhere during all that, Eddie’s thumb had slowly started stroking small circles on Buck’s collarbone. Warmth flooded his body, all systems went into overload.</p>
<p>“Oh, I just—I saw you together in the mess a couple of days ago.” Buck said flustered. “You two seemed really close, so— I assumed.”</p>
<p>Eddie looked at him funnily as if he was trying to figure something out, but he couldn’t quite get it. “Yeah well, we’ve decided to be friends and that seems to work out well, but why are you asking? Are you— are you still interested in her?”</p>
<p>Buck’s brain froze and all of his focus suddenly returned. “Still interested? <em>Still</em>? What are you talking about?” He was so confused now.</p>
<p>Eddie withdrew his hand from Buck’s shoulder and dragged it through his short hair. Buck felt bereft.</p>
<p>“Well, every time I talked about her, you seemed to close off a little. So it wasn’t a big leap to assume that you were interested in her. I have to admit that was also one of the reasons I backed off. I didn’t want this to get in between us.”</p>
<p>Buck could only stare at Eddie. Sudden laughter bubbled up in his chest and he let it out freely. Eddie looked a little puzzled, but still amused.</p>
<p>“Why are you laughing?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Well, in the first place we should probably stop assuming things about each other, because we are clearly not good at it.” Buck replied.</p>
<p>Eddie cracked a smile. “Yeah, you might be on to something there.” He licked his lips and suddenly looked a little nervous. “So, you aren’t?”</p>
<p>Buck wiped away the tears that had rolled down his cheeks. “Aren’t what?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Interested in Ana?”</p>
<p>Buck looked at him, his face serious. “No, I’m not. Are you?”</p>
<p>“No,” Eddie replied, “I can, with 100% confidence say that I’m not interested in Ana Flores.”</p>
<p>Relief filled Buck’s whole being and because he never really knew when to shut up he let out a pleased—</p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p>Eddie’s laser-sharp eyes focused on him. “What?”</p>
<p>Buck panicked as he tried to come up with a good reason as to why Eddie being attracted to Ana was a bad thing. He couldn’t find any, so he just stood there while panicking internally.</p>
<p>Eddie took a step closer to him, right into his personal space. “Buck?” he asked. He seemed to be studying Buck’s face, looking for the mystery hiding behind his eyes. And because Buck was crap at keeping his emotions at bay, it didn’t take long for Eddie’s confusion to turn into discovery. Buck knew the exact moment it clicked for Eddie. His eyes got impossibly wide and he backed away from him. It made Buck’s chest hurt. This was it— this was the moment where everything would change and he would lose Eddie forever.</p>
<p>He swallowed his fear and spoke up. “Eddie— I— I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it just did. I mean, one moment I was just minding my own business and the next— BAM— my heart started beating faster whenever I was around you and I knew— I knew that I was in love with you. You have to believe me that—”</p>
<p>All of a sudden Eddie was back in his personal space, closer than ever. “Shut up,” he said and cupped Buck’s cheek tenderly before he slowly leaned in and, with slightly parted lips, pressed a kiss on the corner of Buck’s mouth. He pulled back for a moment, meeting Buck’s eyes, seeking and finding permission, before closing the distance again. Buck’s eyes fluttered closed as he opened his mouth and invited Eddie in. Eddie took advantage of that and slowly stroked his tongue against Buck’s, softly nipping at his lips when he came up for breath, pressing tiny kisses across Buck’s chin and cheeks. And then all Buck knew was Eddie’s scent and taste and—</p>
<p>Oh God! Eddie was kissing him. He was being kissed by Eddie Diaz, the man he had been pining for and oh my God, why was he overthinking this? He let go of his worries, slid his hands up Eddie’s muscled back and surrendered.</p>
<p>It was a little awkward to begin with, as first kisses always were. But pretty soon they had found their rhythm and it became the best thing ever. Buck was intent on kissing every square centimetre of Eddie’s face, just in case he would never get the chance again. Eddie rubbed his cheek against his, whispering in his ear. “I’ve dreamed about this, but I was too afraid to ask for it.” A shiver ran up Buck’s spine as he heard those words. He closed his eyes and clung a little harder onto Eddie’s shoulders. “You should have asked,” he replied. “I would have said <em>yes</em> in a heartbeat.” Eddie shakily exhaled, his warm breath settled into Buck’s nape. They stayed like that for a moment, just basking and enjoying the release of finally getting what they wanted. Eddie broke the moment when he pulled back and softly kissed Buck’s lips, which started a whole new make-out round.</p>
<p>Buck was in the middle of nibbling on Eddie’s left earlobe when the man spoke up again. “Do you think we should talk about this first?”</p>
<p>Buck rubbed his cheek against Eddie’s and slowly pulled back, just far enough to look into his eyes. “What is there left to talk about?” He asked slightly puzzled. Now that everything was out in the open surely there was only one path left. Right?</p>
<p>“Well,” Eddie said, “I am leaving for Mars in a couple of weeks. I think that’s important enough to talk about.”</p>
<p>And just like that Buck’s perfect bubble burst open. Of course— of course Eddie wouldn’t stay on board for him. Why would he? Nobody ever stuck around for him in the first place. His dad didn’t, Maddie didn’t and Abby certainly didn’t. Why would Eddie?</p>
<p>He immediately pulled back from Eddie’s warmth, leaving the circle of his arms. He felt a physical ache in his chest area as soon as he stepped away. Eddie smiled at him for a moment. he seemed confused at Buck’s sudden retreat. “Buck?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right. We should talk. Since you’re leaving— maybe it isn’t a very good idea to— <em>allow</em> this thing between us to go any further. I mean, it would only make saying goodbye harder anyway. If we stop this here, we can nip this crush in the bud and we’ll be fine by the time you leave.” Buck said. His voice cracked on the last words.</p>
<p>Eddie’s smile fell. “Oh,” he replied. His face looked ashen now. “Yeah— I guess— if that is what you want, then I’m okay with that.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Buck said. He tried to smile— certain that Eddie could probably see right through it and see the heartache underneath. “Great. We’re good right?”</p>
<p>Eddie stared at him, his face eerily blank. “Yeah,” he finally replied. “We’re good.”</p>
<p>Whereas a few minutes ago they had been locked in a passionate embrace, they now stood awkwardly away from each other in the middle of Buck’s quarters. Buck swallowed. “Well,” he said dismissively, “It’s late. I’m really tired and you should probably be going as well. Goodnight Eddie.”</p>
<p>Eddie’s emotionless mask fell for a moment and his anguish shone through as he reached out his arm towards him. “Buck—” He seemed to plead for something, but Buck wasn’t interested in being pitied. He had gotten used to rejection by now. He’d get through this as well. He swiftly turned around and hurried out of the room, trusting Eddie to find the way out by himself. As he sat down on his bed, tears now freely rolling down his cheeks, he kept reminding himself that he’d be fine.</p>
<p>He had to be.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Chim was excited. Maddie had contacted him earlier, telling him she had some big news to share and that she’d tell him tonight over dinner. His mind had immediately gone over a dozen of possible scenarios, but none of them really fit the bill. Maddie had been acting really strange lately. She normally loved big healthy breakfasts, but the last two weeks she hadn’t been hungry at all in the morning. She would just sit there, a little pale, watching Chimney eat. Sometimes she would excuse herself and disappear in the bathroom for a while. He wondered if perhaps she could be—</p>
<p>But no, better not to get his hopes up if it turned out to be something completely different. He picked up his pace as he was already a couple of minutes late for his meeting with Hen. Some small changes had been made to the medical database and he wanted to go over them with her, just to check if everything was to her satisfaction. He knew from past experience that Hen didn’t always approve of the database updates, so he always made sure to check in with her. He trusted her judgement.</p>
<p>As he finally entered sickbay he almost walked straight into Eddie who was about to walk out. He only just managed to stop himself from fully colliding with the man. His first instinct was to lash out, but then he caught a glance of Eddie’s face and he promptly decided to let it go. The man looked as if he hadn’t slept for a week, his eyes puffy and tired.</p>
<p>“Hey man, what’s the hurry?” He inquired.</p>
<p>Eddie shrugged. “Nothing much, just happy to have gotten through my shift so I can go home to crash before I have to pick up Chris from school,” he replied lacklustre.</p>
<p>Chim frowned. “You haven’t been sleeping well?”</p>
<p>“No, not really,” Eddie admitted. He took a deep breath. He seemed to be readying himself to speak. “Ever since the ship has been called back to Earth for maintenance,” he started a little hesitantly, “the realisation has fully kicked in that we don’t have much time left on the 118. It’s just been really hard for us. Christopher is always sulking and I can hear him crying in his room sometimes when he’s supposed to be sleeping. I just don’t know what to do about it or how to help him. And it’s not just him. I mean— I really want to see my family again, but I’ll really miss this ship and its crew. I found so many friends here. I just—it’s hard, you know?”</p>
<p>The man seemed heartbroken. Chimney felt bad for him. He was just about to say a few words in comfort when Hen spoke up.</p>
<p>“You know, there’s no reason why you can’t have both,” she said as she walked over from where she had been standing, quietly listening in on their conversation.</p>
<p>Eddie looked at her. He shook his head “No, you know as well as I do that my family is not exactly Starfleet’s best friend. Besides, it’ll take some time getting to know them again and I can’t do that from aboard a Starfleet ship. It’s best to go home.” The thought of going home didn’t exactly seem to fill him with a lot of happiness. The man looked miserable.</p>
<p>“Best for whom?” Chimney replied, digging for some harsh truths. “Because I can think of at least a dozen people who would hate to see you go—” He hesitated for a moment and then added, “—Buck being number one.”</p>
<p>Eddie’s face grew a shade paler when Chim mentioned Buck. He looked down for a moment, lost in thought. When he looked back up, he smiled sadly. “Yeah, I’m not so sure about that—I thought that I knew, but now—”</p>
<p>Chimney was puzzled. Why did Eddie look so sad? It was almost as if—</p>
<p>“No way,” Hen voiced his thoughts out loud.</p>
<p>Eddie looked confused. “<em>No way</em> what?”</p>
<p>“That face you just pulled when I talked about Buck,” Chimney replied, “it almost seemed as if you know that Buck— well, it’s hard to explain—” He backpedalled, realising that Eddie might not want to talk about it. Or worse, maybe he had misunderstood and he didn’t want to be the one to expose Buck’s feelings to Eddie.</p>
<p>But Eddie didn’t seem all that confused anymore. He just looked at the both of them. “Yeah, about that,” he said, “I talked to Buck a couple of nights ago. We uhm—we talked everything out. A lot of things are in the open now and— yeah, we’re good.”</p>
<p>Chimney frowned. Shouldn’t Eddie look more happy if they had talked things through? Something was wrong here.</p>
<p>“That’s good to hear,” Hen replied hesitantly, realising at the same time as Chimney that they hadn’t heard the full story yet. “I hated seeing you two being at odds like that. So have you talked about— <em>everything</em>?”</p>
<p>Eddie smiled sadly. “If you’re talking about the way we feel about each other and how there’s more than friendship between us, then yes—we did talk about that.” He cleared his throat. “We uhm—we might have even done more than just talking about it.”</p>
<p>Chimney’s jaw dropped at that confession. From the corner of his eye he could see Hen’s eyes almost pop out of their sockets as they opened wide in surprise.</p>
<p>“So you two—uhm—” Hen started, making a couple of vague suggestive hand motions.</p>
<p>“God no!” Eddie called out. “Not that. We just talked and then one thing lead to another and we might have ended up kissing a little. That’s all.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s all,” Chim replied, mockery clear in his tone. “That’s okay then. Just some lip-locking, nothing important. Let’s still leave for Mars— <em>really</em> Eddie?”</p>
<p>“I know I know,” Eddie replied. He seemed a little desperate. “But it’s really for the best. No matter how much I might want it, I don’t belong here. Just me being here, working in sickbay is already taking away the opportunity for someone else far more qualified than me. And then there’s Christopher to think about as well. He has never met his family. He deserves that connection and no matter how troubled my relationship with my parents is, he deserves to know them. And then there’s my sisters, tia Pepa and my wonderful abuela. They have all been waiting so long to meet him in person.” He closed his eyes and took a couple of steadying breaths. “Besides,” he added, “Buck didn’t even—”</p>
<p>Hen frowned. “Buck didn’t even— <em>what</em>?”</p>
<p>Eddie smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes. “He didn’t ask me to stay.” His voice cracked at the last word.</p>
<p>Chimney was confused. “Wait— would you actually have agreed to stay if he <em>had</em> asked?”</p>
<p>Eddie looked up at him, certainty written all over his face. “At first I wasn’t sure, but after that kiss— yes,” he nodded, “in a heartbeat. I— I love him.” He looked up quickly, his eyes frantic and desperate. “But you can’t tell him that. I don’t want him to know. I don’t think—”</p>
<p>“Oh no no no, so hold on a minute,” Hen interrupted, “You are basing this entire idea of Buck not feeling the same way on the fact that he didn’t ask you to stay?”</p>
<p>Eddie nodded.</p>
<p>“Well— that has to be the single-most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard coming out of a man’s mouth and I have heard my fair share from Chim here when he was trying to woo Maddie.” She poked his arm.</p>
<p>“Hey!” Chimney protested, rubbing his arm. Hen just gave him <em>the look</em> and when he thought about it—well, “Fair enough,” he acquiesced, showing his palms in surrender.</p>
<p>“Hen,” Eddie started.</p>
<p>“No—no—nope.” Hen popped the p. “Now you listen to me Eddie Diaz. I like you— I like you a lot. You are a great friend, a wonderful father and a gifted EMT—but you are also a moron. If you think, even for a second, that that stupidly wonderful man doesn’t love the stuffing out of you, then you are blinder than a bat. I have been friends with Buck for a very long time and it hurts me to see him like this. He is heartbroken and you’re to blame!”</p>
<p>Eddie seemed to fold in on himself, misery written all over his face.</p>
<p>“Hen,” Chimney gently chided her. He could see how upset she was and sometimes things would get said that one might regret later on. He was Hen’s best friend, first and foremost. He knew all too well how she could beat herself up after she had said something in the heat of the moment. He just wanted to protect her from the guilt that would inevitably come along with that.</p>
<p>Hen sighed. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” she said, looking at Eddie with apologetic eyes. She stepped closer to him and took hold of his hands. “But Eddie,” she continued, “Buck’s happiness matters. Your happiness matters. Christopher’s happiness matters. Leaving now will only result in unhappiness for the three of you and it kills me to see you guys like this. I just— I worry that you’re giving up on a great thing for something that might not stack up to what you think it will be in your mind. I guess that I just don’t understand why you don’t grab on to happiness when you can?”</p>
<p>Eddie’s eyes teared up. “I— I know. And I get what you’re saying, but— I just— what do I have to offer a man like Buck? I come with so much baggage Hen. My childhood, my marriage— the way I lost Shannon—I—I still dream about that crash. I see her dying in front of my eyes over and over again, which isn’t even accurate because she had already passed when I woke up. Just another shining example of how much I had let her down. I just think that— my past is too heavy a burden and I—I don’t want to smother Buck with the heaviness of it all. He’s better off without me.” He gently removed his hands from Hen’s. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m getting of this ship as soon as we reach Mars.”</p>
<p>“Eddie,” Chimney tried, but he could see that the man was no longer ready to listen to him. It seemed like he was trying to close himself off from them as they were speaking, trying to get through to him. The mental wall came up again, removing all emotions from his face. This was the Eddie from a year ago, standoffish and reserved, wary of everyone and everything. They were not going to get through to him in this state.</p>
<p>Hen seemed to have come to the same conclusion. “Fine,” she gave in, “so be it. That all being said—I have to admit that I’ll miss you Eddie. You and that beautiful boy of yours. You have so much promise. I can see a bright future for you in the medical field if that is what you might want.”</p>
<p>Eddie looked at her, his stoic façade cracking a little. “I’ll miss you too. I’ve learned so much from you. I’m definitely going to try to keep up the studies. I promise to keep you updated on my progress.”</p>
<p>“You better,” Hen said, a little teary now. Chimney smiled sadly at his friend’s obvious distress. As long as he had known her, Hen had been a woman of emotions, unafraid and unabashedly in her display of feelings.</p>
<p>“Well, as your Commanding Officer,” Chim butted in, “I feel that I have to inform you that I’ll miss you as well. You have become a good friend Eddie.”</p>
<p>Eddie focused on him. “You too Commander,” he answered completely deadpan, before bursting into laughter when Chimney rolled his eyes at him. “I’ve changed my mind,” Chim replied, “I’ll be so happy when you’re gone I can’t even express it in words.” He looked back at Hen. “Anyway, you still up to go over those new updates in the database?”</p>
<p>Hen nodded. “Yeah, I’ve taken a brief look at some of the changes made and I’ve got some questions.”</p>
<p>Eddie stepped away from them. “Well, I’ll be off then. I really need that nap before I pick up Chris from school. I promised him we’d go on another holodeck-adventure.”</p>
<p>“The 21<sup>st</sup> century firefighters-program again?” Hen asked.</p>
<p>Eddie sighed. “Of course, what else? Ever since Buck introduced him to it, he has been addicted to these crazy rescue-scenarios. I mean—some of them are so incredibly outrageous that it’s laughable, but Chris seems to like it, so—” He said. He shrugged his shoulders in defeat.</p>
<p>“Well, have fun,” Hen replied.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Eddie answered. He nodded at both of them and left.</p>
<p>Chim looked on as the door closed after him. He wondered what it would take to make Eddie see that Buck was worth the risk. But maybe it just wasn’t any of his business in the first place.</p>
<p>“Chimney?” Hen asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah—let’s talk about that update. I got a communication from logistics that—”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Athena was in the middle of reading her favourite novel when the door chimed. She wondered who on Earth would have the audacity to disturb them at this time of night. Everyone knew Bobby’s rule of ‘no Captain business after dinner, unless the ship is burning down’. Well, dinner had been had, the children were holed up in their rooms, doing God knows what and she and Bobby were enjoying some quality time together. He was looking through his recipes while she read her novel. It was calm, quiet perfection.</p>
<p>Bobby looked at her. “Are you expecting someone?” She shook her head. He frowned, stood up and went to open the door. She noticed his surprise when the door opened, but from her vantage point on the couch she couldn’t see who was standing there.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Bobby said, “What are you doing here? Everything okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah—” Buck’s voice drifted inside. “I just—I could really use some company right now and maybe--  someone to talk to?” He sounded small and afraid. Not what she would expect from Buck at all. Her curiosity piqued.</p>
<p>Bobby replied hesitantly. “It’s getting late Buck. Is this something that perhaps can wait till morning?”</p>
<p>“No, Bobby—I—I can’t be alone right now,” Buck replied, desperation dripping from every word.</p>
<p>She saw Bobby nod as he stepped aside to let Buck in. “All right then, come in. Sit down for a minute— you don’t look too good and you’re shaking like a leaf.”</p>
<p>Then Buck appeared in her line of sight and <em>oh</em>— Bobby had been right. Buck looked like death warmed over. His face was pale and his tall stature seemed to have caved in on itself. She immediately put the book aside and sat up. This seemed serious.</p>
<p>“Buck? Honey, what’s wrong?” She asked, getting up to greet him.</p>
<p>Buck walked over to her and allowed himself to be hugged. For a moment he desperately clung to her. “Can I talk to you guys for a minute?” Buck asked. He was out of breath, as if he had just run a marathon. “I just—I need to talk to someone because I feel like I’m going insane with all these thoughts circling around in my head.”</p>
<p>“Of course you can. Here, sit down.” She fluffed the pillow of the couch and instructed Buck to sit. He gingerly sat down. “Can I get you anything? Some coffee or tea perhaps?”</p>
<p>He looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes. “No, thank you. Water is fine.”</p>
<p>She nodded. “Okay, I can do that.” She looked up at Bobby who was still standing next to the door. “Bobby, bring Buck some water.”</p>
<p>Bobby shot into action and a couple of minutes later, they were all settled on the couch, waiting for Buck to open up.</p>
<p>“I don’t know where to start,” he finally said. He sighed deeply and shook his head. “No, that’s wrong. I do know where to start.” He looked straight at Bobby first and then he did the same thing with her. Athena felt a shiver run down her spine at the intensity of his stare.</p>
<p>“I’m in love with Eddie,” he finally said.</p>
<p>A simple statement, but as soon as he had said it, he seemed to deflate again, his body losing all its former rigidity.</p>
<p>“Well,” Athena began, nodding her head, “of course you are.”</p>
<p>Buck looked surprised. “You knew?”</p>
<p>Athena took pity on him. “Honey—everyone knew. It was pretty obvious from the way you were acting whenever you were around him.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Buck replied. Bobby coughed to get his attention. “So—did you just come here to tell us that? Or was there something else?”</p>
<p>Buck shook his head and looked down at his wringing hands. “I—I told him a couple of nights ago. I didn’t mean to, but it just came out and I didn’t want to take it back, so— yeah.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Bobby replied. “That’s— good? Right?” He asked hesitantly.</p>
<p>Athena rolled her eyes. <em>Really</em>, it was a miracle men ever got anything done with such a weak radar to pick up on emotional cues. “Buck, honey?” Buck’s focus shifted back to her. “Tell us what happened after you confessed to Eddie.”</p>
<p>Buck swallowed heavily. “He— uh— he kissed me.” He seemed sad about that.</p>
<p>Bobby stared at him, clearly confused. “And that was— bad?” He asked. Athena sighed. She was <em>about</em> <em>ready</em> to toss her husband out of the room for asking such a stupid question.</p>
<p>“No no!” Buck immediately replied. “Quite the contrary. It— it was very good. The best first kiss I’ve ever had really,” he admitted, smiling a little at the memory of it.</p>
<p>“So,” Athena started, cutting her husband off from asking any more idiotic questions, “something went wrong afterwards then?”</p>
<p>Buck nodded. “Suddenly, out of nowhere, he mentioned that he was leaving the 118 soon and we should probably talk about that.”</p>
<p>“Auch,” Athena replied. She was starting to see the bigger picture here. While she was happy to hear that Eddie took her advice to talk to Buck, this wasn’t quite what she had had in mind. “That must have been very tough to hear.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it just made me realise again that— that I’m never <em>enough</em> for anyone to stick around for. People keep on leaving me Athena,” he confessed, tears now freely rolling down his cheeks. Athena quickly got up and sat down next to him. She reached for his left hand and pulled it towards her. “Buck no, you are <em>enough</em>— more than enough. Anyone would be so lucky to have you as a partner, romantic or not.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well—obviously Eddie isn’t one of them,” Buck said, trying to smile through his tears.</p>
<p>“How can you know that for sure?” She asked. “Maybe he feels just like you? Not quite good enough to be with you.”</p>
<p>“No,” Buck replied, shaking his head, “if he would have felt the same, he would have at least told me he loved me back— or, if that would have been too hard for him, he would have told me he would <em>stay</em> for me.”</p>
<p>“Buck,” Bobby chipped in, “Eddie hasn’t seen his family for a very long time. I hate to see him go as well, but I can understand that he wants to see them again.”</p>
<p>Buck looked back at Bobby. “I know that Bobby and I would never stop him from going to see his family for a while, but— he made it very clear that the moment he leaves the 118, he’s leaving <em>for good</em>. That’s not something that tells me he feels the same.” He shrugged. “I mean, I’m sure he feels attracted to me, otherwise he wouldn’t have kissed me in the first place, but apparently that’s all it is— <em>attraction</em>. He just doesn’t feel the same. And I know I’ll have to live with that knowledge, but it’s very difficult right now to cope with it.” He looks down again as Athena squeezes his hand in comfort.</p>
<p>She looks over at Bobby. He looks back and shakes his head at her, clearly clueless about what to do here. Athena sighed. She shifted a little closer to Buck and pulled him towards her. He easily fell into her embrace, sobbing into her shoulder. They sat like that for a while until Buck managed to pull himself back together. He slowly pulled back from her arms. “Thanks Athena,” he quietly uttered, “I needed that.”</p>
<p>Athena smiled at him. “No problem. But Buck—”</p>
<p>He stopped her by putting up his hand. “No, I know what you’re going to say. But I’m done talking about it. There’s just one thing left to do. I need to get over him and move on, for our friendship’s sake— and especially for Christopher’s sake. I don’t want to lose Eddie’s friendship anymore than I want to lose time with Chris. I’ll push through this—” he said, his voice full of determination. “I’ll be fine.” He sounded <em>lighter</em>—almost relieved. Before Athena could say anything else, Buck quickly got up and walked over to the door. “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time.” He nodded at Bobby and then looked back at her. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Bobby stood up to help him out, but he was too late. Buck was already out the door. Bobby turned back at her and uttered an incredulous—</p>
<p>“What in the world?”</p>
<p>Athena sighed. “I have no idea,” she replied, throwing up her hands in defeat. “Both of them are all over the place with their emotions. I just wish they’d sit down and actually have a <em>decent</em> conversation about their feelings for one another, without assuming anything about what the other feels. But you know—I would also like to win the <em>Salurion</em> lottery and go one of those luxury cruises across the oceans of <em>Bathu</em>. And we all know that’s never going to happen either.”</p>
<p>“Maybe if I could talk to Eddie and—” Bobby began.</p>
<p>“Nope,” Athena replied, “You will do no such thing. This is between Eddie and Buck and you will not get involved. They are two grown men, my love. They might be emotionally stunted, but I’m hoping they’ll work it out in the end. Let’s just have a little faith in their connection and let them hash it out.”</p>
<p>Bobby took a deep breath. “You’re probably right.” That made Athena laugh out loud. Now where had she heard that before? “I’m always right,” she replied. Bobby smiled back. “You’re probably right about that as well.”</p>
<p>Athena nodded. She hoped that she <em>really</em> was right about this and they would work it out. It’d be such a shame if they would lose out on the possibility of such a great thing. Love was not something that was easy to find in this universe and she had learned from experience to cling onto it hard when if crossed her path, because in life there were no guarantees—only chances.</p>
<p>Now it was up to Buck and Eddie to take that chance and run with it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
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<p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this. I know I loved writing it. If you did enjoy, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo and/or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on all that's going on in this chapter or in the overall story.</p>
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        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Long Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He slowly leaned in and caught Eddie’s upper lip between his own. For a moment they stayed like that, lips locked, slowly moving against each other, tentative brushes of tongues, breathing each other in, warm bodies close, hands wandering to intimate places. They were out of time, lost in the moment. Buck imagined a world where he could have this every single day for the rest of his life. Nights filled with passion, days filled with love and laughter.</p><p>It took a heartbeat and the next moment reality burst their bubble again.</p><p>AKA the one where multiple hearts are broken and realisations come too late.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, it took some time to write this. What can I say, life gets too complicated sometimes and it leaves me with little to no time to write or edit. But I finally managed to sit down and edit this chapter. I have even started writing the next chapter already to give myself a head start.</p><p>There is no real plot advancement in this chapter. It's more about characters and emotions. the next chapter is plot-heavy and things get way more complicated. So, stay tuned for that one!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Christopher?! Where did you put your red Lego box? I can’t find it and I want to pack it!”</p><p>Eddie’s in the living room, surrounded by items he mostly collected during his time spent on the 118. He never knew a person could collect so much stuff in such a short amount of time. Only 12 months, but here he was, drowning in clothes, books, toys— and the list goes on. His stress-levels were through the roof. They were leaving tomorrow afternoon, taking a transport ship to Mars at 10 a.m. and he felt like he would never get all the packing done by then.</p><p>Listen, Eddie wasn’t stupid. He knew that he had waited way too long to start the process of packing. And it wasn’t a big mystery <em>why</em> he had waited until the last possible moment. But well— better not dwell on <em>him</em> for too long.</p><p>“Christopher!” He called out again. “Did you hear me? Can you please—”</p><p>Chris’s bedroom door opened and his son walked out, awkwardly carrying the box of Lego bricks while trying to keep his balance. He had been practising a lot lately on walking without his last crutch, and it still tired him out really fast, but he was getting stronger each and every day. Eddie couldn’t be more proud of him if he tried.</p><p>“Here,” Chris said, practically shoving the box in Eddie’s hands. He swiftly turned and walked over to the door.</p><p>“Hey, where are you going?” Eddie asked.</p><p>With his back still to his dad, Christopher sighed, clearly annoyed by the question. “I’m going to Buck’s. He isn’t on shift this afternoon and he told me to come by. We’re set to play the last chapter of the firefighters holo-novel. And I— I wanted to say goodbye to him. Is that okay with you?” He replied, his tone clipped and to the point.</p><p>Eddie took a deep breath. He could feel his patience teetering on the edge. Chris had been insufferable the last couple of days. He finally nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll pick you up when I’m done here. I— I want to say goodbye to him as well.”</p><p>“Fine,” Chris replied and walked out.</p><p>Eddie sighed and sat down amidst the ruins of the life he had built on this ship. The thought of leaving brought on a fresh wave of anxiety. He was going to miss this place so much. This last year had been eye-opening. For years he had felt useless, rotting away on that moon. And even before that—if he was being really honest and he looked back to his life on Mars and later on his life on the farm with Shannon—it was never really <em>him</em> in those moments. He had gotten by and had done his duty, but always in order to please others. Inside he had never felt true happiness with any of the choices he had made. Being rescued by the 118 was the best thing that had ever happened to him and his son. Every time Eddie looked at Chris he was amazed. Not just by his son’s perseverance, but also by the incredible skill Hen had displayed by operating on him.</p><p>His future looked so much brighter now, thanks to the Captain and— once again Hen, for allowing him to work in sickbay. For helping him to discover his passion for medicine. He owed that woman so much. Not to mention Athena, Karen, Maddie, Command—<em>no</em>, Chimney. And then of course there was Buck.</p><p>That man had singlehandedly changed his life for the better in only 12 months time. When Eddie had lost Shannon, he had fallen into despair. He had been so certain that he would never be able to love again. Not that there had been a wealth of opportunity on Sitèria, but Eddie had always just assumed that Shannon had been it for him and that was that. Then Buck had crashed into his life and now he couldn’t imagine his life without him— even though he was forced to do so by current circumstances.</p><p>He was leaving the safe haven that had shown him nothing but patience, love and acceptance. Part of him <em>desperately</em> wanted to run over to the Captain right now, telling him that he had changed his mind. But the more sane part of him knew that he needed to be realistic about this— he simply <em>couldn’t</em> stay.</p><p>First of all, it really wouldn’t be fair to the people who had earned their place to serve on such an incredible ship like the 118. Eddie was just a guest on board. In order to truly belong somewhere he needed to reinvent himself and start over again from scratch. In this case it meant: go back to school and get a degree.</p><p>Another fact was that he needed to confront his family. He owed it to himself and Chris to try and make make amends with them. When he ran away all those years ago he never really thought of the consequences for the people he left behind. He understood it so much better now, being a father himself. They were excited to see him and Chris. He knew for a fact that his sisters and abuela had been planning a <em>welcome home</em> party, even though Eddie felt more like he was <em>leaving</em> the only place he ever truly considered a home.</p><p>Maybe someday he could come back. After he had studied hard enough to earn an actual degree as a sickbay nurse or maybe even a doctor. And maybe— just <em>maybe</em> Buck might still be here and they could give it a real shot. He looked down at his hands and smiled. It was just an idle pipe-dream. A man like Buck wouldn’t be alone for a very long time. Who wouldn’t want someone so amazing like that? They’d be crazy to let him go— <em>crazy like Eddie, </em>his treacherous mind provided. The thought of Buck moving on without him tore him apart, but it was how it had to be.</p><p>Before he could sink too deep into maudlin thoughts, the door chimed. Glad with the distraction Eddie went to open the door. He straightened his posture as soon as he saw the Captain.</p><p>“Captain,” he greeted.</p><p>“Hello Eddie. Is this a bad moment? I was hoping to catch you before you leave tomorrow,” the Captain said.</p><p>“Uhm—no—no—not a bad moment. I’m just packing the last things. Please come on in,” Eddie replied.</p><p>“Thank you, but please call me Bobby. I won’t be your Captain for very much longer,” he said as he entered. “Is Christopher here?” he asked.</p><p>“No—uhm—he left a while ago. He wanted to spend some more time with Buck before we leave.”</p><p>The Captain frowned. “Yeah—Buck sure loves that kid. He’ll be happy to spend some time with him as well,” he answered absentmindedly.</p><p>Eddie’s heart constricted at hearing those words. He <em>knew</em> of course. He knew just how much Buck and Chris loved each other, but he really didn’t need another reminder of how he was <em>not only</em> breaking his son’s heart, but Buck’s as well.</p><p>“Yeah,” he croaked, “he does, doesn’t he.”</p><p>The Captain said nothing. He just stood there, silently judging him. He looked away for a moment. He almost seemed frustrated about something. When his eyes met Eddie’s again, they took an a determined glint. “You know—” he started, “I promised Athena I wasn’t going to interfere, but—I wouldn’t be a very good Captain if I wasn’t looking out for my people, would I?”</p><p>“Sir?” Eddie asked.</p><p>“Buck came to us one evening— a couple of weeks ago,” the Captain started.</p><p>“Oh?” Eddie replied. He looked down and took a deep breath. He had a feeling that he knew what was going to come next out of the Captain’s mouth.</p><p>“Yeah. He—uhm—he told us about what happened between the two of you and— I have to tell you man. He was heartbroken.”</p><p>Eddie took a ragged breath. “I get the feeling,” he admitted.</p><p>The Captain looked confused for a moment. “So, if you feel the same, why would you leave? You know you’re more than welcome to stay. The 118 loves you.”</p><p>“I know—” Eddie started, tears threatening to fall. “It’s just— that I can’t. I can’t just ignore my family anymore. I know that I once ran away from them, but they are still the only family I have left. I need to go home and learn to get to know them all over again. Christopher deserves to know them. And next to that—I don’t want to steal someone’s place on this ship Sir. There are so many more and better qualified people out there to take my spot in sickbay. I’m just a nobody that was trained to be a killer when he was a kid and I just happened to take some EMT classes. If I want to do this—I want to do this right, on my own terms. I want to go back to school— Starfleet Academy, if they’ll have me. For too long I have lived my life in function of others. My parents, Shannon— even Chris in a way. I just want to do something for myself this time. Going home is only the first step of that process.”</p><p>“Even if you have to leave Buck behind?” The Captain asked.</p><p>Eddie sighed. “Even <em>then</em>—yes. I want Buck to be able to look at me as an equal. Now I’m just someone who tags along and— I don’t belong here Sir. I love this ship and the crew, but I didn’t earn my spot and I don’t want it, not like this.”</p><p>The Captain pursed his lips. “So theoretically—if I were to write you a recommendation letter to the Academy and I would offer you a job after graduating, you would take it?”</p><p>Eddie was stunned. “You would do that for me?”</p><p>The Captain nodded. “Of course. Over the last year I’ve really gotten to know you and Chris and I think you would make an excellent addition to the crew one day.”</p><p>“Thank you Sir,” Eddie said. He smiled at Bobby. “That means a lot to me. Who knows, I might even take you up on that offer some day.”</p><p>“Good, I’ll hold you to that,” the Captain replied. “But listen, if there is ever anything you need. You let me know—okay? If it is within my power to help, I will do so.”</p><p>Eddie took a deep breath, valiantly trying to keep his emotions in check. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you Sir.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Bobby replied, his eyes a little misty. “Well, if you’ll excuse me. Athena is waiting for me. Can’t keep the wife waiting for too long now, can I.”</p><p>“No Sir,” Eddie said. “I should go look for Chris anyway. I don’t want him up too late. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.”</p><p>Bobby nodded before walking over to the door. He looked back one last time. “Goodbye Eddie, take care.”</p><p>“Thank you Sir. Goodbye,” Eddie replied as Bobby walked out.</p><p>---</p><p>“Buck?”</p><p>Chris was drenched in water. Buck and him had been fully immersed in another chapter of the ‘911 Firefighters of the 21<sup>st</sup> century’ holo-novel. This one was about a tsunami and, so far it was wild.</p><p>“Yeah buddy?” Buck asked absentmindedly. He was scanning the water for survivors, sitting close to Chris to keep him warm. There were angry-looking bruises and scratches all over his face, only for show of course. The marks would fade as soon as the program stopped.</p><p>“I just want you to know that—” Chris started.</p><p>Buck frowned and focused all of his attention on Chris. “What? You know you can tell me anything right?”</p><p>“I—I love you Buck,” Christopher said, looking him dead in the eye.</p><p>“Oh buddy,” Buck reached around the boy and hugged him. “I love you too. Very much so.”</p><p>“I’ll miss you so much,” Chris sniffed.</p><p>Buck closed his eyes. “I know Chris. I’ll miss you too. But I want you to know that you’ll always have me whenever you need me. I’m your friend and I’m not going anywhere, because as friends we are in each other’s hearts.”</p><p>“Forever?” Chris asked.</p><p>“Yeah buddy,” Buck said, his voice soft. “Forever and ever.”</p><p>He pulled back a little and reached into his pocket, revealing a small golden sphere on a chain. “In fact, there is something that I wanted to give you.”</p><p>Chris looked at him curiously as Buck hung it around his neck, securely closing the clasp. “What is it?” Chris asked, rolling he sphere between his fingers.</p><p>“It’s a secret communicator,” Buck revealed. He reached into his own shirt and brought up another perfect sphere, this one silver. “Now we both have a way to stay in touch, no matter what.”</p><p>Christopher gently closed his fist around it. “How does it work?”</p><p>“I’ve been experimenting with some mind-controlled technology from the <em>Frawan</em> people. They are incredible telepaths and some of their technology is so sensitive that it even picks up on normal non-telepathic human brainwaves, much like yours and mine. So, the idea is that if you’re ever in trouble, grab onto it and concentrate on me—concentrate with all you’ve got. It’ll trigger the device and we’ll be able to communicate. It’s supposed to open a link between our minds. I’m not sure if it’ll work for us, but I figure it was worth a shot. If it does work—you bet your little behind that I’ll be speeding to Mars to help you out.”</p><p>Chris started sniffling again. “I’d like that,” he said, falling back into Buck’s arms.</p><p>“Me too buddy,” Buck said, gently swaying the boy from side to side, “Me too.”</p><p>They were startled by the sudden opening off the door and the ruined landscape around them disappeared and turned back into a holosuite. Eddie was standing in the doorway, staring at them. Buck met his eyes and sent him a sad smile.</p><p>“Chris?” Eddie started. “I’m here to pick you up. It’s time for dinner and then off to bed. Tomorrow’s going to be a very long day. We could both use some sleep.”</p><p>“Yeah dad, I’ll be right there. Just one more minute,” Chris said, his words muffled by Buck’s shirt pressed up against his mouth. Buck smoothed out the boy’s hair and gently kissed his forehead. “Hey superman, listen to your dad, okay?” He gazed into the boy’s eyes, soaking him up, realising there was a good chance he would never see him again. “He’s right. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow. Time to have some dinner and get an early night.”</p><p>Christopher frowned. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here—with you.” He was full-out sobbing now. Something inside of Buck broke when he heard those words. He wasn’t a father, but he finally understood what it would mean to be one— not a bad one like his own dad, but a father who gave a damn, like Eddie.</p><p>Speaking of Eddie. Buck risked a glance up at him. The man seemed to be transfixed. He was full-on staring at them. Buck could see how his lower lip trembled as if he was desperately trying to keep a hold on his emotions. And no matter what Buck thought about Eddie leaving, it didn’t mean that he loved the man any less and the last thing that he wanted was to hurt him. It was time to break up this party. “Come on buddy,” he gently extricated himself from Chris’s arms. “Time to go home.”</p><p>Chris let go of him, stood up and awkwardly stumbled over to his dad. Eddie sank down onto his knees, arms wide open and enveloped his son into his arms. They stayed like that for a moment until Chris’s sobs died down. Then Eddie spoke—</p><p>“Chris, do you think you could give Buck and I a minute? Can you wait outside for me?”</p><p>Chris rubbed his nose on his sleeve and nodded. “Yeah,” he said.</p><p>“Okay, there’s a bay window at the end of the hallway. Just wait for me there.”</p><p>And then Chris left and suddenly Buck found himself alone in the room with Eddie. The silence was deafening. Eddie was still on his knees and as he slowly got up, he sighed and finally looked up at Buck.</p><p>“I know you probably don’t want to hear this,” Eddie started— and he was right, whatever it was, Buck didn’t want to hear it, because in the end it wouldn’t mean anything. Eddie would still be gone and that thought left him inconsolable.</p><p>“Eddie—” Buck replied. But Eddie didn’t give him a chance to say anything else and just bulldozed on. “I don’t care Buck! I don’t care that you don’t want to hear it, because I have to say it. I—I wish that things could have turned out differently between us—” He rolled his eyes and looked down for a second. “Man, you have no idea how much that thought has consumed me over the last couple of weeks. But—I just need you to know that— leaving the 118, but especially <em>you</em> is probably one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do in my life and that’s a lot coming from a guy who has survived living on that barren moon for years on end. But, I also need you to understand that— this is something that I have to do to become <em>myself</em> again. For so many years I have lived my life in name of someone else— first my parents, then Shannon and Chris. Not that I blame him. I could <em>never</em> blame Chris.”</p><p>All through his ranting Eddie had been walking up and down from one side of the room to the other. He seemed nervous. Then he suddenly stopped and walked over to Buck, gently taking his right hand in between his own.</p><p>“When—when we kissed all those weeks ago I was ready to stay, in fact-- if you had asked me to stay in that exact moment I would have probably said <em>yes</em>. But I came to realise that it would have been such a bad idea, because I’d just be shelving my own personal dreams for someone else again and this is something that I can’t do anymore. Now I finally have the chance to do something for myself. I get to go home again and reconnect with the family I thought I had lost. And then I— I want to go back to school and expand my mind— expand my world. On this ship I’m ballast taking up space, no real credentials. It’s not a very honourable existence for me. So yeah, I need to go, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t miss you. Because, Buck— I will. I will miss you every single day,” he whispered, “probably for the rest of my life.”</p><p>Buck couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. Eddie’s words resonated in his heart and soul. He understood now. He finally heard what Eddie had been trying to tell him all this time. He had been such a fool for not listening to him. They had wasted all that precious time and now it was too late—too late for love—too late for anything.</p><p>“Eddie—” he choked out. He stumbled closer as Eddie opened up his arms. And then he was home, his face burrowed into the neck of the man he wanted more than anything, but couldn’t have. The man who would never be his. “I—I love you too,” he whispered into Eddie’s ear and Eddie pulled him impossibly closer until Buck wasn’t sure anymore where <em>he</em> ended and Eddie began. For a moment he was completely at peace, finally where he belonged. Safe in the arms of the man he loved.</p><p>After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably closer to a minute or two, Eddie pulled back far enough to look Buck in the eye, a bittersweet smile pasted on his face. He slowly brought up his hands and carefully cradled Buck’s face, his fingers gently exploring every single patch of skin.</p><p>“I’m glad,” he said. “I’m glad that it was <em>you</em>. You made me realise that there was life and love beyond Shannon. For so long I felt dead inside, the only love I was capable of was all reserved for Chris. Then you came along and everything changed. No matter what is still to happen in my life— I’ll always be grateful for that— grateful for having known you.”</p><p>Buck put his hands over Eddie’s as they were still cradling his face. “Ask me,” he said.</p><p>Eddie seemed confused. “Ask you what?”</p><p>A lone tear escaped Buck’s eye and was gently swept away by Eddie’s thumb. “Ask me to wait for you and I will” Buck replied.</p><p>Eddie’s face fell. He looked defeated. “Buck— no, don’t ask that from me. I can’t do that to you. Don’t get me wrong. I want to— I want to so badly. It’s tempting, but you know as well as I do that life is a crazy journey. Who knows when we’ll meet again? It could be years.”</p><p>“But we could stay in touch and—” Buck hurriedly replied.</p><p>“And what?” Eddie asked. “Live half-lives, pining for the unattainable that’s always far away? You know as well as I do that a beginning relationship is already hard to navigate when you’re in the same place. But when you’re literally in another galaxy? It wouldn’t last and you know it. We’d end up resenting each other or something. I don’t know— I just—” His breath fluttered and he sniffed, “I don’t want that for us. I want us to part with happy memories of our wonderful time together.”</p><p>It had taken a long time, but Buck understood now. Eddie needed this. He needed to get away and start over, reinventing himself after being stuck on that moon for <em>so long</em> he had lost track of who he really was. He needed time to get back in touch with the home base. And Buck stood in the way of that— he got it. He wasn’t happy about it, but he got it.</p><p>However, he also knew that this love was the one with the capital letter L and he wasn’t prepared to give up on it yet. Even if Eddie had himself convinced that it wouldn’t work between them, Buck realised that he would just have to have enough faith for the both of them. He had to believe that one day, somewhere, he and Eddie would meet again and that time would be the right time. He was confident it would be.</p><p>He slowly leaned in and caught Eddie’s upper lip between his own. For a moment they stayed like that, lips locked, slowly moving against each other, tentative brushes of tongues, breathing each other in, warm bodies close, hands wandering to intimate places. They were out of time, lost in the moment. Buck imagined a world where he could have this every single day for the rest of his life. Nights filled with passion, days filled with love and laughter.</p><p>It took a heartbeat and the next moment reality burst their bubble again. This time it came into the form of Buck’s comm badge and Chimney asking him to join him on the bridge.</p><p>They stood there for a moment longer, entangled into each other for another heartbeat before reluctantly letting go, their hands still tangled together in between them.</p><p>“Will you be there to wave us out tomorrow?” Eddie asked. He sounded wrecked.</p><p>Buck sighed. “I—no, Eddie—I don’t think so. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I feel like I already said my goodbyes to Chris before, and now to you. I don’t want to make it any harder on all of us than it already is.”</p><p>Eddie nodded, having come to the same conclusion. “You’re right. That means that this is goodbye.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Buck said, looking everywhere but at Eddie.</p><p>Eddie disentangled his right hand and brought it back up to touch Buck’s face. “Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll be okay,” he said. He didn’t seem to be all that sure about who he was trying to convince of that.</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Buck replied, lying through his teeth. “Doesn’t mean that this situation doesn’t suck though.”</p><p>They stood there for a beat longer, eyes meeting one last time, when Eddie finally and completely pulled away. Buck felt it like a physical blow. “I have to go. Chris is waiting for me. He’ll be wondering what’s keeping me so long. And you have to go to the bridge.” He reluctantly turned around and walked over to the door. He turned back one last time and smiled. “I love you,” he said.</p><p>Buck smiled back. “I know.”</p><p>One last lingering look and then Eddie was gone.</p><p>And once again—</p><p>just like that—</p><p>Buck was alone again.</p><p>---</p><p>“Chris, did we pack your glasses? I could have sworn I put them in this bag, but they aren’t here.”</p><p>Chris rolled his eyes. “Dad, they are in the other bag. The big red one that is already in the storage room of the ship.”</p><p>“Oh,” his dad replied. “Good, then I think we have everything.”</p><p>Chris clutched his necklace as he looked at his father. He was sitting across from him on the transport ship that would bring them to Mars. The Captain of the transport had just announced their departure. Now the ship was slowly undocking. They were set to leave. Commander Chimney, Hen, Karen and ensign Han had all come to wave them out. Chris had been waiting for Buck to arrive, but he had never shown. When he had asked his dad about it, he had just given him a vague answer that Buck was probably busy in engineering or something. Chris didn’t believe that for one single second. If his dad had asked, Buck would have been there in a heartbeat. But maybe there was another reason—</p><p>He studied his dad’s face and posture. For someone who was so sure that he wanted to leave the 118 and who was about to see his family again in about an hour, he didn’t seem all that happy. His face was pale and he was staring out into space, transfixed on the small red dot in the distance, the infamous planet Mars.</p><p>“D-- dad?” He asked hesitantly.</p><p>“Hmm?” His dad replied absentmindedly, his eyes never straying.</p><p>Chris studied his father’s hands for a moment. His fingers didn’t seem to want to stay still, as if he was stressed out about something.</p><p>“Are you okay?” He asked.</p><p>That seemed to pull his dad out of his stupor and he turned to look at him. “Of course I’m all right,” he said. “Why would you ask that?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Chris replied. “It’s just—you don’t seem all that happy for someone who is about to go back to the planet he grew up on to reunite with his long lost family.”</p><p>His dad smiled at him. A valiant effort, but Chris saw right through it. Underneath, the sadness lurked. It was all there in his dad’s eyes. He knew him better than he knew anyone else and Chris just knew that something was wrong.</p><p>“It’s okay buddy. Of course I’m happy to see my—<em>our</em> family again. It’s just—” He looked out again, this time his eyes didn’t turn to the red planet, but back to the hull of the 118 as they slowly ventured further away from it. If possible he seemed to turn ever paler. He gingerly put the flat of his hand against the window. “I think—” he started, his voice cracking, “I think I might just have made a terrible mistake.” He bit his lip hard and looked down, his hand still firmly pressed against the window. From Chris’s vantage point it partly covered one of the numbers on the hull.</p><p>He thought for a moment about what his dad could be talking about. For weeks now he had been hyping up Mars and their family. He had especially been very enthusiastic about his aunts and his abuela—or Chris’s bisabuela he supposed. It had come to the point where Chris had genuinely gotten excited to meet these people. And now— what had changed? His dad’s mood seemed to have changed after their goodbye to Buck yesterday. Afterwards he had seen the tears in his dad’s eyes, but he had tried to conceal them as soon as he had spotted Chris waiting for him in the corridor. Whatever it was, it must have been something to do with Buck, because—</p><p>And then something clicked in Chris’s mind.</p><p>Of course—</p><p>-- It was <em>Buck</em>. It had always been Buck, right from the beginning.</p><p>He looked up at his dad and reached out his hand. He gently put it on his dad’s cheek. That unexpected gesture made him turn towards Chris again, the palm of his hand still firmly up against the window. Chris could see it now. His dad’s eyes were filled with sorrow and pain, he knew that emotion well as it had been a constant in his dad’s eyes when they were on Sitèria.</p><p>“Dad?” He started. “This is about Buck, isn’t it?”</p><p>His dad looked away for a second, his lower lip trembled slightly— a tell-tale sign that Chris had struck a chord. “Dad?”</p><p>His dad breathed in deeply and finally returned his gaze. “Yeah.” He replied.</p><p>“Do-- do you love him?”</p><p>His dad closed his eyes, keeping the few tears that were there from spilling. He swallowed harshly and nodded once— twice.</p><p>“More than I know how to handle,” he confessed.</p><p>Chris nodded back at him. “I love him too dad,” he replied. “I know how you feel.” His dad snorted, the tears finally spilling over. Chris lightly patted his father’s cheek. “It’s gonna be okay kid.”</p><p>Then his dad reached over to him and pulled him into his arms, hugging him for all he was worth. Chris hadn’t even realised that he had started crying as well, but just like always his dad was there to take some of his pain and to comfort him when things got to be too much. He just hoped that he could do the same for his father.</p><p>And he hoped that, wherever Buck was, back on the 118— he was handling it better than they were.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was not okay. He had been standing at the look-out point in the astronomy lab for over 10 minutes now, watching the transport take off and take away the two people that made him the happiest in the whole wide universe.</p><p>His hand had been firmly pressed up against the window for too long now. He was starting to lose some feeling in it. But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t leave. He just couldn’t. Something deep within him had compelled him to reach out to Eddie and Chris as they boarded the transporter. Even though they couldn’t see him and they didn’t know he was there. For some reason he had picked up on a longing so pure that he just couldn’t resist.</p><p>He was lost, his soul drifting away further and further from the 118 as if his favourite boys had taken his heart with them.</p><p>---</p><p>Maddie knew exactly where to look for Buck after Eddie and Chris had left. She knew that Buck hadn’t wanted to say goodbye, but she also knew her brother well enough to realise that he wouldn’t have been able to resist seeing them off. And she was right, because as soon as she entered the astronomy lab, Buck was right there, his hand pressed firmly against the glass as if he was trying to reach out and pull the transport ship back to him. Who knows— maybe he was.</p><p>She was immediately struck by an intense wave of sorrow, anguish, pain and so much longing. Her brother was heartbroken and it was killing her. She absentmindedly rubbed her belly as she walked up to him.</p><p>“Evan?” She asked. Reverting back to Buck’s given name, like she used to do when he was a little boy.</p><p>Buck was startled from his intense contemplation of space and he looked over to Maddie, his palm still pressed up against the glass. “Maddie, what are you doing here?”</p><p>“You have to ask?” She replied, knowing that her worries and concerns were right there on her face.</p><p>Buck rolled his eyes. “You didn’t have to come here to check up on me. I’m fine— or, I will be fine. I just— I just needed a minute to say goodbye, that’s all.”</p><p>“Buck, the transport ship has been gone for over an hour and you’re still here. That doesn’t scream <em>fine</em> to me,” Maddie gently scolded him.</p><p>Buck seemed surprised, as if had no idea of the time that had passed. He swallowed and glanced outside. “I just— I needed to be here. I don’t know why,” he admitted. “I just knew that I needed to be here.” He smiled sadly at her. “Hey, maybe I do have some of those latent Betazoid genes in my system after all.”</p><p>She smiled at him. “Who knows,” she agreed. She recognised a deflection when she heard one. But it was okay. She would grant him this one. Her brother had just lost, not <em>one</em> but <em>two</em> people he loved more than life itself. He had the right to wallow and sulk for a while. He had earned it.</p><p>That didn’t stop her from wanting to cheer him up a little. She sneakily looked up at him. “You know— I hope you won’t be sulking here for long anymore,” she said. He looked a little confused at that. “Well,” she continued, “I’m just saying—baby showers don’t organise themselves you know?”</p><p>Buck just stood there, staring at her. “What?” He asked, his hand finally slipping down the window before he pulled it back. He looked down for a second and absentmindedly started massaging the palm. ”What are you talking about?”</p><p>Maddie rolled her eyes. “Man, I really hope this baby doesn’t take too much after his or her uncle. He sure is a little slow on the uptake sometimes.”</p><p>He stared at her for a beat when suddenly a wide smile took over. “What?” He asked again, finally comprehending what she was saying. “Maddie, are you—?”</p><p>Maddie beamed at him. “Yes, I am,” she admitted.</p><p>Buck cried out in joy, embraced her and picked her up, twirling her around. “Oh wow, Maddie, congratulations! I’m so happy for you. I mean— you’re going to be a mom. You’ll be such an awesome mom! And Chim! He’ll be such a great dad!” He rambled, putting her gently down again.</p><p>With tears streaming down her face, Maddie gently cradled Buck’s cheeks. “Let’s not forget about his or her awesome uncle Buck, who is far-out the most amazing human being I ever had the pleasure of knowing in my lifetime.”</p><p>“Maddie—” Buck trailed off. He looked elated and devastated at the same time.</p><p>“I know Buck, I know,” she simply said and hugged him again. He molded himself against her body, just like he had always done when he was a child. She hugged him a little tighter, convinced that all would be okay in the end.</p><p>After all— love always came out on top.</p><p>She had to believe that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to stay on top of the updates. :)</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this. I know I loved writing it. If you did enjoy, it would be nice if you could leave me a kudo and/or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on all that's going on in this chapter or in the overall story.</p><p>Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Separation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As Eddie sat there, listening to his sister’s words, holding her hand, trying to support her in her grief, the realisation that he had made the biggest mistake of his life by returning to Mars hit him so hard that he had to take a moment to recover. He had left behind one of the best things that had ever happened to him for this. He had given up the 118 for this. Worse— he had given up Buck for this.</p><p>AKA the one where nothing is what you think it is and secrets are revealed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>All right, so first up-- sorry it took so long to post this chapter. My parents got struck by Covid and for a while there, it got really scary for my dad and I really didn't feel like writing anything. Luckily they are okay now and lately the urge to write has returned. Mainly because season 4 of 911 has been so incredibly good so far. I've fallen in love with this show all over again.</p><p>After this one there's two or three more chapters. I'm not completely sure yet. It's all planned out and plotted, but I'm still working out some details.</p><p>I loved writing this chapter. It's very plot-heavy and important to the overall story. There's also a lot of feels. Seriously-- so many feels.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Maddie, do you have a moment?”</p><p>Maddie looked up from the report she was reading. “Yeah sure, for you? Always. What’s up?” She sat up a little straighter to accommodate her growing belly and patted the sofa next to her, indicating that Buck should sit down.</p><p>“I’ve been having some trouble falling asleep lately and I was wondering if you have some tips I could use to get around that?” Buck asked. He avoided looking at her, because he knew that she could read him like a book and with one look she’d know exactly <em>why</em> he had trouble falling asleep.</p><p>It was no use though, even without the eye-contact she had somehow already sensed what was up with him. “Evan,” she started, “you have got to stop doing this to yourself. They’ve been gone for over three months now. It’s time to move on and let yourself heal.” She gently covered his left hand and squeezed lightly. “They’re gone Evan. You need to accept that.”</p><p>Buck could feel the tears well up in his eyes. He hated this. He hated this so much, because he knew his sister was right. He had to move on from this—from <em>them</em>. But how could he do that when every single day and night was still consumed with thoughts of missing them. He missed Chris’s hugs and Eddie’s embrace and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and wallow in his misery.</p><p>He kept on thinking about them. They were probably on Earth by now. Chris adapting to his new school and Eddie attending the Academy, studying hard to become a doctor. They would both meet new people—interesting people that would make them forget all about Buck. The idea of them <em>moving on</em>—Eddie meeting someone new, perhaps falling in love and starting a family, living happily ever after. It consumed him with jealousy and sadness. Rationally he knew that he should probably be happy for him, but inside it was killing him.</p><p>He had tried to move on. He really had. But it was no use. When Eddie and Chris had left they had taken a big chunk of his heart with them and he had no idea how to heal from that loss.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie was staring out into the wide open red planes of Mars. The view from his study was quite impressive, but not as impressive as San Francisco would have been, if he had actually been able to travel to Earth to attend Starfleet Academy.</p><p>No, instead he was sitting in his parents’ house, at his old desk, following an online anatomy class, desperately trying to keep up with all the courses and workload through remote learning. All because his father hadn’t deemed it in his and Chris’s <em>best interest</em> to go to Earth. As soon as they had landed on Mars the psychological warfare had begun. His parents had tried to manipulate him and Chris into staying with them on Mars. They had attempted to use every single gaslighting trick in the book. Just to keep them there.</p><p>Now, Eddie was no pushover and he was intimately acquainted with their guilting tactics, so he had quickly informed his father that he was going to Earth whether he agreed to it or not. Ramon had simply nodded at the statement before walking out. For a moment there Eddie had been convinced he had finally won.</p><p>He had been wrong.</p><p>Suddenly, not one single transport ship on the entire planet had been willing to take him and his son to Earth anymore. He had even tried foreign freight-ships to take them, but to no avail. It quickly became clear that Ramon had issued some kind of nation-wide warning that no one was to take his son and grandson off planet. Eddie had protested heavily and had told his father in no uncertain terms that he wanted to leave. It was then that the veiled threats had started.</p><p>
  <em>“You know what Eddie? Sure, I’ll allow it. You can leave,” Ramon had said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eddie had been suspicious. His father had never given in so soon. It just wasn’t in his nature. There was always a catch. “Really?” He had asked, scepticism dripping from every syllable of the word.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course,” his dad had replied, “your mother and I will make sure to take extra good care of Christopher while you’re gone.”</em>
</p><p>And there it was—the catch.</p><p>Just like that, all of Eddie’s hopes and dreams had come crashing down at his feet. He had been so wrong—</p><p>When he had returned to Mars he had hope that his parents would have mellowed out a little. That they would see his side of the story as well and that they’d be more lenient towards him and his son. Instead he had found them to be the same stubborn conservative Martians they had been before. Actually—no, that wasn’t true. It was even worse than that. The way his father talked about the Federation and Starfleet sometimes really put a fear in Eddie’s heart. Every rhetoric seemed consumed with hatred these days.</p><p>Eddie has done his best to keep Christopher as far away from all that hatred, by letting him spend as much time as possible with his abuela, tia Pepa and his sisters. These women doted on his son like he deserved and Chris soaked up every ounce of affection like a sponge. That immediately became the best part of Eddie’s time on Mars. He hadn’t fully realised just how much he had missed his abuela and his sisters until he finally saw them again in the flesh and they fell into each other’s arms.</p><p>Adriana hadn’t been able to contain her tears for days on end, so whenever she caught sight of Eddie or Chris she had burst into tears. Sophia hadn’t been much better. They had spent hours just talking and catching up on all that had happened the last couple of years. Adriana had told him about how his father’s hatred toward everything ‘Earth’ had only grown after Eddie had disappeared. He had been convinced that the Federation had found a way to get rid of his only son. Apparently his tia Pepa had tried to talk some sense into him, trying to tell him those were the thoughts of a mad man, but nothing had persuaded him and his hatred had only grown.</p><p>From what his abuela had told him his mother just kind of had tagged along and had gone with everything his father had said, blindly following him in his believes until she as well had been completely convinced of all the evil-doings of the Federation.</p><p>And now here he was, effectively stuck in a place he decidedly didn’t want to be at. A toxic environment that was no place for Chris to grow up in. Eddie was the best example of that. His sisters tried to console him, but he could see past the surface. They were as unhappy on Mars as he was.</p><p>“Penny for your thoughts,” a voice interrupted his musings.</p><p>A slow smile crossed his face as he turned around. “Hey Adri,” he said.</p><p>Adriana beamed at him, coming up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Hey little brother.” She pulled up a chair to the desk and gingerly sat down next to him. She studied his face for a moment. “So,” she said, “how are you doing?”</p><p>Eddie took a breath, ready to answer. She stopped him before he spoke. “Hold on, be truthful Eddie. No need to pretend with me. How are you <em>really</em>?”</p><p>“Honestly?” Eddie asked.</p><p>“Hmm-mm,” Adriana nodded, encouraging him to speak.</p><p>“I feel terrible,” Eddie finally admitted out loud. A thought that had been plaguing him ever since he set foot on Mars three months ago. “I can’t help but feel that I made the biggest mistake of my life coming back here.”</p><p>Adriana’s face did a complicated thing and Eddie quickly added—</p><p>“Not—not because of you guys of course. I love you all so much and I’ve missed you a lot, but—”</p><p>“Mom and dad?” Adriana inquired.</p><p>“Yes,” Eddie admitted. “I can’t help but feel like dad went off the deep end Adri. It’s like—he’s so consumed by hatred sometimes that he can’t think straight anymore. And mom! She just follows him around as if she doesn’t have a voice of her own. Whenever I try to talk to her she just repeats the same nonsense dad spouts all day.”</p><p>Adrianna glanced outside. “Yeah, he was always suspicious about the Federation, but ever since—” she trailed off. It took her a minute to find her words. Eddie waited.</p><p>She looked back at him. “Ever since my Ray died,” she started, her words coming out a little wobbly. Eddie quickly grabbed her hand, quietly supporting her. He couldn’t even imagine losing Chris like that without getting teary-eyed, so he couldn’t possibly fathom the depth of his sister’s grief for losing her boy. “It’s just-- he has changed so much Eddie. It’s like there are days that I don’t even recognise him anymore. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but I know that he blames the Federation in some way. Which doesn’t even make any sense because the man who shot him hadn’t been a part of Starfleet for decades. In fact, Starfleet had been looking for him to put him on trial for war crimes. But somehow that doesn’t seem to register with father. He just saw the old battered Starfleet uniform and in all of his grief, he hyper fixated on destroying Starfleet and the Federation. I had just lost my only son and there was no one there to support me. I mean, Sophia and Thomas were there of course and tia and abuela. Even mom made an effort, but I needed my dad the most and he just wasn’t there.”</p><p>As Eddie sat there, listening to his sister’s words, holding her hand, trying to support her in her grief, the realisation that he had made the biggest mistake of his life by returning to Mars hit him so hard that he had to take a moment to recover. He had left behind one of the best things that had ever happened to him for <em>this</em>. He had given up the 118 for <em>this</em>. Worse—he had given up <em>Buck</em> for <em>this</em>.</p><p>Tears welled up in his eyes. He quickly looked away, trying to not make his sister uncomfortable. This was not his time to show how much he hurt. Adriana had lost her 13-year old son. Surely nothing could ever compare to that.</p><p>A gentle hand touched his cheek. “Eddie—look at me,” Adri said, trying to persuade Eddie to turn towards her again. Eddie felt weighed down with grief and loneliness. “Edmundo,” she tried again. And this was serious. Adriana never used his full name unless she wanted his full attention on her. He reluctantly turned to face her, his eyes red and glossy, trying hard not to cry.</p><p>“Oh Eddie,” Adri said, “who did you lose to make you grieve like this?”</p><p>“What?” Eddie was startled. “I don’t—I don’t—”</p><p>Adri just kept staring at him with that sisterly look, like she knew exactly what was up.</p><p>“Look,” he started, “when I lost Shannon I was certain that I would never love anyone like that <em>ever</em> <em>again</em>. We were on that moon trying to survive and that was all that was on my mind for years— trying to keep Christopher alive. I had given up on anything else— including <em>love</em>.” He swallowed, unable to hold back the tears anymore.</p><p>“But—” Adri pushed.</p><p>“But— then we were rescued by the 118 and there was someone on board that just— this man <em>got</em> me Adri. He woke something up in me that I thought had died years ago. He made me want to live again.”</p><p>Adriana nodded her understanding. “Buck?” she asked.</p><p>Eddie quickly turned to her, a little shocked.</p><p>“Well, don’t look at me that way,” Adri said. “Ever since you’ve been here all <em>your</em> and Chris’s stories about the 118 have incorporated Buck in some way. So Soph and I quickly knew something was up.”</p><p>Eddie snorted through his tears. “You two always did know how to read me,” he said.</p><p>“Advantage of being your sisters I suppose,” Adri replied. “Do you love him?”</p><p>“I do—” Eddie confessed, “I do. Very much so.”</p><p>“Then why did you leave him?” Adri asked. Eddie closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. “I just felt like I didn’t belong there, you know?” he said, shaking his head. “I have spent all those years on Sitèria, stuck in survival-mode and then this ship filled with wonderful people came along and they offered me this great gift— the gift of protection, a <em>home</em>. But I just never felt like I had earned that place. I wanted to go out and explore, find myself before committing to anything. But lately— lately I’ve been asking myself if that was all it was? I’m starting to think that maybe I was just running away. It all felt just a little too perfect, a little too great, you know? I was getting too comfortable and that’s usually when disaster strikes. It’s the Eddie Diaz curse. See, Shannon and I—we were happy. Sure we had some problems, but doesn’t every couple? We had a home and a kid and for the first time I felt centred and focused, like my life was finally turning out the way it was supposed to. And then—”</p><p>“And then you crashed on that moon,” Adri finished for him, “and you learned that sometimes happiness can be brutally taken away from you. A lesson you never forget for the rest of your days.” She looked at Eddie in understanding, tears rolling down her cheeks. Eddie nodded “I know it’s not quite the same thing,” she started, “but after my Ray died, I felt like dying with him— I— I didn’t want to live anymore,” she confessed. Eddie’s face did a complicated thing before settling on sympathy. He gently grabbed her left hand. She covered it with her right hand and smiled at him. “But Eddie, things can turn around sometimes. You see— just when I was about to give up, I met Eric.”</p><p>Eddie scrunched his eyes in a silent question. “Oh, you don’t know him,” Adri said. “He’s a diplomat from Earth. He was here on a Starfleet mission to talk about burying the hatches with father.” She snorted. “I’m sure you can imagine that went over well,” she added sarcastically, clearly remembering their father’s harsh words towards the diplomat. “But you know—we talked a lot while he was here. He had lost his wife and daughter in a freaky transporter-accident and I just felt like he understood. We grew closer and— well, one thing led to another. I fell in love and for the first time since Ray died I felt like living again. It was— and still is— the best feeling in the whole wide universe.”</p><p>Eddie squeezed his sister’s hand. “That’s great Adri. Is— is Eric still on Mars?”</p><p>Adriana snorted again. “No, dad wanted him gone as soon as possible. But we stay in contact and there has been talk about me moving in with him, so…”</p><p>“On Earth?” Eddie asked incredulously.</p><p>“Yeah, he sure as hell can’t live here. Father would go crazy.”</p><p>“Does he know?” Eddie asked.</p><p>“Dad?” She asked. Eddie nodded.</p><p>“No, I don’t think so,” Adri said, shaking her head. “But then again— this is <em>dad</em> we’re talking about. There is not a lot that escapes his notice on this planet. So who knows?” She looked Eddie straight in the eye. “The point is— if you have a chance for happiness, you should just grab it and hold on to it Eddie. And don’t ever let go.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, “I’m starting to realise that more and more each day. It’s futile though. Dad has virtually cut us off from ever leaving this planet again.” He slumped back in his chair.</p><p>“Mmmm,” Adrianna hummed, “maybe— or maybe not.” She smiled at him and oh— he recognised that particular smile of hers. Whenever she used to have a juicy secret back when they were kids, she would smile like that. It used to drive him crazy, because she always refused to tell him what the secret was, while she always told Sophia.</p><p>“Adri? Do you know something I don’t?” He asked.</p><p>Adriana snorted. “Edmundo, I could probably write ten books filled with things you don’t know. But I can tell you this: I talked to Eric and he’s willing to help you get away from here— you and Chris.”</p><p>Eddie gasped. “I— I don’t know what to say. When?”</p><p>“Whenever you’re ready. Just say the word and I’ll set it in motion.”</p><p>Eddie swallowed and pulled his sister into a hug. “Thank you. I don’t know how I deserved such a good sister, but thank you. I’ll need to tie up some loose ends here. I’ll need to talk to Chris about this and we’ll need to say goodbye to abuela, tia Pepa and Sophia but I’ll let you know when we’re ready.”</p><p>“Perfect,” Adri said as she got up. She caressed his cheek. “I’ll miss you when you’re gone. But, I have a feeling we’ll meet again.” Eddie leaned into the touch for a moment. Then she let go and walked over to the door. “Oh yeah,” she said, looking over her shoulder, “I should probably also let you know that Eric has a contact on the 118. It wouldn’t be so hard to deliver a message once you’re out, under the radar of course—if you know what I mean.” She winked and walked out, leaving a gobsmacked—but <em>hopeful</em> Eddie in her wake.</p><p>---</p><p>Three days. That was how long Eddie would still be on Mars. After that they would be free again. Free to travel to Earth to take his rightful place in the Academy while Chris would start school. Free to reach out to Buck again and tell him that he doesn’t care about the long-distance thing anymore and if Buck still wants him, he’s ready to try a long-distance relationship.</p><p>Three days.</p><p>It felt like an eternity.</p><p>It had been about a month since Adriana first talked to him about her contact on Earth, Eric, to help them escape. It had taken quite some time to arrange everything, but now the time was finally near. It was high time as well, Christopher had been miserable for the last couple of weeks. His parents had decided that Christopher shouldn’t attend school anymore. They had hired private tutors, effectively isolating the boy from his peers. They said they were doing this to protect him, but Eddie knew it was all a plan to keep Eddie under their thumb. His mother had also actively started badmouthing him to his son, trying to win his loyalty. It had made Christopher deeply unhappy and every day he had come home from his grandparents <em>crying</em>. Eddie had been fuming, but there was nothing he could do.</p><p>You see—</p><p>Two weeks ago, things had taken a turn for the worse. His father had suddenly placed him under house-arrest, guarded by soldiers. He had been deemed an official threat to the Army. Apparently Eddie had <em>betrayed</em> their planet by working with the enemy. He had been cut off from the Academy, unable to keep up with his studies. His father’s sanity was slipping day by day and there was nothing he could do. He was effectively a prisoner now. His abuela and tia had tried to reason with him and mother, but to no avail.</p><p>But if everything went right, the torture would be over soon. Three days and they would make their escape. Away from Mars and all the hatred. He had tried to persuade his sisters to come with him. He had even talked to abuela and tia Pepa, but none of them were interested in leaving. Well—except for Adri, who was really looking forward to the day she could be with Eric. But even she wouldn’t go with him. All of them had built up lives on Mars. All of them had people here they cared about and that they couldn’t leave. Eddie on the other hand had no one. So, the decision was easily made.</p><p>So, now all he had to get through was another one of their dreadful family-gatherings. Ever since Eddie had been on Mars they had a weekly family diner in order to re-establish family bonds. The first two or three had been quite all right, light-hearted and fun. But then, slowly, his parents’ resentment had crept back into their interactions. Every conversation they had, had revealed more about how hurt and disappointed his parents were when he had ran away with Shannon all those years ago.</p><p>Eddie hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that they might have preferred if he had stayed dead, so at least then they could have talked about their dead son who had tragically died, garnering sympathy from strangers. A useful instrument in the game of politics. Instead they now had to talk about their traitor son who was still very much alive.</p><p>They always sat Chris down in between them, as far away from Eddie as possible. It was breaking his heart to see his son in distress, but there was nothing he could do. The guards eyes were upon him 24/7. He was now thoroughly convinced that his father wouldn’t hesitate to use violence against him and then where would Christopher be? So he gritted his teeth and pretended to be docile, going along with whatever they wanted him to do.</p><p>He took a deep breath.</p><p>Three more days.</p><p>---</p><p>And just like always— once again Eddie found himself sitting in between his two sisters, as far away from his parents as possible. His mother monopolising all of Christopher’s time so he wouldn’t have too much time to talk to Eddie.</p><p>“Edmundo!” His father’s voice boomed over the table. Eddie sighed and looked up. “Yes, father?”</p><p>“Edmundo, your mother and I have decided that it would be in Chris’s best interest if he were to move in with us, in our private quarters. You are to gather his belongings by tonight. We are moving him in in the morning.”</p><p>Eddie sat stunned. The conversations around him had all fallen silent.</p><p>“I don’t want to,” Christopher offered meekly. “I want to stay with my dad.”</p><p>His abuela spoke up. “Yes Ramon, you can’t do that. The boy has already lost his mother. He needs his father close to him.”</p><p>“No mother,” Ramon said. “What he needs is a <em>father-figure</em> who stands strong in his beliefs. He doesn’t need a traitor.”</p><p>Eddie vaguely heard his sisters’ gasp. He saw red. He slowly stood up. “Excuse me?!” He barked at his father.</p><p>“Yes,” his father replied as he slowly looked up at him. “You heard it right— traitor. Since you have decided to turn your back onto your own family, studying to become a— <em>Starfleet</em> <em>doctor</em>,” he spit out the word as if it was the most foul thing he had ever heard, “I no longer deem you capable to raise your son the proper way.”</p><p>“The proper way?!” Eddie yelled at his father. “And what exactly is the <em>proper way</em> father? The way you raised us? Teaching us all the ways to torture or kill someone? Is that the proper way?” He stalked over to his father. “I’ll be damned if I let you corrupt my son like that.” He put his finger on his father’s sternum. “You are not to touch or even talk to my son anymore,” he stated, before looking over to Chris who had started crying.</p><p>Eddie held out his hand. “Come on Chris, let’s go.” Chris tried to stand up, but then his mother took his arm and held on to him. She looked up at Eddie with sadness and defeat in her eyes. “I’m sorry Eddie. But <em>no</em>— your father is right. This is the only way. We <em>know</em> son— we know all what you got up to when you were on board of that terrible Federation ship. We know how they poisoned your mind with their Federation-lies. We know how that man seduced you into becoming one of them.”</p><p>Eddie grew cold. <em>Buck</em>. They knew about Buck.</p><p>But how?</p><p>There was no way that—</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>A dreadful thought crossed his mind.</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>Something must have shown on his face, because his father smirked at him. “Yes Edmundo. Yes. We are finally taking down the Federation— and we couldn’t have done it without your help. So thank you.”</p><p>Eddie felt light-headed. Surely his father couldn’t be implying that—</p><p>Sophia spoke up, fear in her voice. “Dad, what is going on? What do you mean?”</p><p>“Ah, my love,” he replied, focusing his attention on his daughter. “As soon as Starfleet contacted us with the news that our son and grandson had been found alive and they were safe aboard one of their ships, we immediately recognised it for the opportunity that it was. For years we have been trying to find a weak point to take Starfleet down and with that the Federation. But to no avail. And now we were offered access to one of their star ships on a silver platter. We were not about to say <em>no</em>.”</p><p>Eddie felt like he was floating. This couldn’t be real. “How?” He croaked. “I never told you anything about the ship. I didn’t even contact you myself for months.”</p><p>“Ah, that was the beauty of it. You see— years ago, when you were all still children we had all of you fitted with an optical tracker, so if you ever got into trouble, we would know exactly where you all were. As soon as you turned 14 the tracker stopped working, because then you were old enough to fend for yourselves. It took some tweaks, but it wasn’t all that difficult to get your tracker back online once we knew where you were and where to pinpoint the signal.</p><p>Eddie gasped. “You—you were spying on me,” he confirmed, feeling more and more violated by the minute. An optical tracker allowed the person on the other side to see whatever you were looking at. They couldn’t hear anything, but they could see. And—oh God—</p><p>“The lay-out of the ship, access-codes, inside information” Eddie robotically said, “the people I worked and conversed with. You saw it all.”</p><p>“Yes,” Ramon said, looking at Eddie. “We did— and I have to say it was all quite useful— and <em>eye-opening</em>. It was enough to put our operative on the 118 at work to get the plan into motion.”</p><p>“Operative?” Eddie repeated.</p><p>“Yes, over the years we have been planting Army-operatives on many Federation ships, acting like one of them, gaining their trust, setting up to destroy the Federation from within. We had someone on the 118 as well. This operative wasn’t supposed to be activated yet, but then you fell into our laps like a present and plans changed.”</p><p>Eddie’s mind frantically went over all he had seen and gone through on the 118 and then—</p><p>“Taylor Kelly,” he said, looking up at his father. “Kelly is one of your operatives.”</p><p>His father smiled. “Very smart Edmundo. That she is. I have to admit I wasn’t all that convinced about her use in the beginning when we had just sprung her from prison. But she soon turned out to be invaluable to the cause. It was just our luck that she happened to be on the ship that rescued you. After that, it all came together. With you on board to give us access to all systems, she was no longer needed on the ship to gather intel, so she made her escape. Setting the plan in motion, by preparing the ambush.”</p><p>“The ambush?” Eddie whispered to himself. “But then—” He was suddenly filled with dread.</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>“What did you do?!” He suddenly yelled. He walked closer to his father, getting right into his face. “What did you do to him? What did you do to Buck?”</p><p>He vaguely heard Christopher shouting out to him as soon as he had uttered Buck’s name.</p><p>His father stood up and smirked. “Oh, worried about your little boyfriend now, are you?” His father taunted. “You know, your mother and I were ready to welcome you back with open arms. We had it all figured out for you. We had the perfect woman lined up. You would come back, see the error of your ways, help us destroy the Federation and marry her. Maybe give us a couple more grandchildren. Imagine the disgust your mother and I felt when we realised that you enjoyed the time you spent with that engineer just a little too much. We did not raise you like that Edmundo. It was then that I realised that we had lost you. You came back all hyped up to go to Starfleet Academy,” his father sneered, “wanting to become a fucking doctor. You are not a doctor Eddie, you are a soldier. You always were and always will be.”</p><p>Eddie was fuming, ready to kill his father. But he couldn’t do anything before he knew exactly what that Kelly woman had done to Buck.</p><p>“I’ll repeat myself,” he said, his voice as cold as ice. “What have you done to Buck?”</p><p>His father didn’t seem all that intimidated by him as he simply replied. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to worry about that man for too much longer. You might say he is going to— <em>go down in a blaze of glory</em> for the good cause pretty soon.”</p><p>Eddie grew cold all over. “No no no!” He grabbed his father’s shoulders and shoved him against the wall. “What exactly did you do to him?” He shouted. Ramon flicked his hand and suddenly three men were upon him, pulling him away from his father. He kept on screaming. “What have you done to Buck dad! TELL ME!”</p><p>That finally set his father off. “You want to know what I did to your boy toy Eddie?!” He shouted. “A micro bomb, smack in the middle of his brain. At my word the button is pushed and <em>sploosh</em>—” he mimicked an explosion with his hands, “no more Chief Buckley and brain matter everywhere in engineering.”</p><p>Eddie’s knees buckled. He heard his son call out Buck’s name before he shouted, “Dad!”. He vaguely registered his mother yanking the boy back when he desperately tried to get closer to him.</p><p>His father remained undeterred. “The explosion is strong enough to destroy the engine room and everyone in it. It’ll be the beginning of a revolution Eddie. We will send a convoy of Martian warships that will uncloak right after the explosion. They’ll take advantage of the confusion to board the 118, killing the defiant crewmembers and making the rest of them hostages. It’ll be the start of a universal offense where all the sleeping operatives will take over the ships they have served on for so many years. We’ll force Starfleet and the Federation on its knees until they yield.”</p><p>“Ramon!” Abuela stepped up next to Eddie, crouching down next to him. She gently cupped his face. Then she looked back up at her son. “What are you doing my son? This is not the way we raised you.”</p><p>Ramon laughed out loud. “Really mama? Because, I think if father was here today he would be happy. Don't you think? He always did tell me that I was too soft and weak as a child. He would be pleased to see me now, wouldn't he? All strong and toughened up.”</p><p>“Ramon, he is your son,” abuela pleaded. His father just looked at her impassively. “He isn’t,” he said. “He gave that up when he ran away like a coward all those years ago. I might have been willing to give him a chance in the beginning, but when I realised just how much he liked living on that Starfleet ship, he gave up the right to be my son. I have two daughters and a grandson mama. My son is dead to me.”</p><p>Ramon looked at the guards. “Take him away. Lock him up in the basement cells.” The three guards immediately started pulling him away. Eddie resisted. “Christopher!” he shouted.</p><p>“Don’t worry Edmundo,” Ramon said. “Your mother and I will raise him to become a real Diaz, not the pathetic excuse you are.”</p><p>“Dad!” Chris shouted, tears running down his face. “Be good Chris. Be good. It’ll all be okay, I promise,” he called out in desperation. The next thing he knew he felt a hard blow to the back of his head, his tia Pepa’s voice called out towards his father, cursing him. And then he knew no more.</p><p>---</p><p>Chris quickly walked into his room, locking the door behind him. His face was covered in tears and snot as he lowered himself down in between the bed and the bedside table. His fingers fumbled under his shirt, looking for—</p><p>Ah, there it was. He was clutching a small golden sphere in his trembling hands. He held on to it tightly and pressed it against his forehead, concentrating with all he had in him, willing Buck to hear him through time and space.</p><p>“Buck please, help… I need your help,” he chanted over and over again.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck woke from a deep sleep, his heart pounding a mile a minute. He was drenched in sweat.</p><p>“Christopher!”</p><p>He quickly looked around him, frantically searching for whatever could have woken him up with such an intense need to talk to Christopher. And then it hit him— the <em>sphere</em>. He quickly fumbled for the necklace around his neck and held on to it tightly, while closing his eyes.</p><p>“Christopher?” he whispered.</p><p>“BUCK!” Buck recoiled as Chris’s voice echoed through his skull. “I need your help! Can you hear me? BUCK! Please Buck!”</p><p>Buck started breathing faster, he could feel Christopher’s distress coming off him in waves. He was crying and panicking.</p><p>“Chris, calm down buddy. I can’t understand you. You need to calm down.” He sent a clear message down the link, hoping to calm the boy down.</p><p>“Buck? Are you really there?” Christopher’s voice was faint, but it formed clear in his mind. Buck felt that if he concentrated enough he could almost see him. He clutched the sphere a little closer to his chest.</p><p>“Yeah buddy, I’m here,” he replied.</p><p>“Oh God, Buck, I don’t know what to do. They took dad away and I’m so scared. And then you! I don’t—” The rest of Chris’s answer dissolved into sobs. Buck’s breathing sped up. Eddie? Was Eddie in danger?</p><p>“Okay, Chris. Listen to me. Focus on my voice okay? You need to concentrate for a moment and tell me very calmly what is going on, okay buddy?</p><p>He waited for another beat. “Chris?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m here,” Chris replied.</p><p>“Okay, now tell me what’s going on.”</p><p>“They are terrible Buck,” Chris started.</p><p>“Who are?”</p><p>“My grandparents. They took my dad away from me,” Chris finally got out.</p><p>“What?! Why? What is going on?”</p><p>“They were nice in the beginning, but then they started to change. It started when dad told grandpa that he was leaving for Earth to study at Starfleet Academy to become a doctor. Grandpa wouldn’t let him leave and he told him that if he wanted to go, he could, but he wasn’t allowed to take me. I would have to stay behind. Then we tried to leave together, but no one would take us on a transport. Grandpa had made sure of that.”</p><p>Buck was filled with horror. What kind of person would treat their own son that way? Then again— thinking back on his own childhood, he quickly found a fitting comparison.</p><p>“Then what Chris? What did you mean when you said they took him away.”</p><p>“We were having dinner with the family and then suddenly grandpa starts telling dad that I am no longer allowed to live with him and that they have decided to raise me by themselves, because he is a traitor.”</p><p>“What?” Buck couldn’t believe his ears. “What did your father say?”</p><p>“He yelled at him and that he was taking me and leaving, but then grandma grabbed me and she wouldn’t let go. Buck, she held on real tight. She hurt me.”</p><p>“Oh buddy, I’m so sorry.” Buck’s heart broke.</p><p>“That isn’t even the worst part—” Chris started and Buck braced himself. “They had been spying on dad for months, ever since the rescue. Something with an optical thingy in his eye or something. I’m not sure, but dad was not pleased. Then grandpa told him that they had Martian Army people everywhere, on different Starfleet ships, even on the 118. They also talked about something I didn’t quite understand. Something about Taylor Kelly and how she worked for grandpa.”</p><p>Buck’s blood ran cold, remembering the cold touch of that woman and how she had treated him.</p><p>“Buck—I don’t want you to die.”</p><p>Buck was confused. “What? What are you talking about bud?”</p><p>“Grandpa told dad that when you were kidnapped they planted a bomb in your head. It’s supposed to go off in the engine room and something about that being the start of the revolution.”</p><p>Buck’s hand went to his head. He thought back to what Kelly had said to him back on that ship.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“We have some big—booming plans for you—”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>So that’s what she had meant. Oh God, he’s a ticking time bomb. His breathing sped up again and he tried to make a conscious effort to calm down for Chris.</p><p>“Chris, I’m not going to die, okay,” he reassured the boy. “What happened to your dad?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Chris whispered. “They hit him on the head, real hard and then grandpa told the men to take him to the basement cells. That’s all I know.”</p><p>Buck closed his eyes, tears threatening to fall.</p><p>Eddie.</p><p>He took a deep breath. “Chris, are you okay? Are you safe?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m in my room right now. Abuela and tia Pepa are in the next room.”</p><p>“Okay, stay there for as long as you can. Whatever you do, do not go against your grandparents’ wishes. Just do whatever they ask of you and don’t tell them anything about contacting me. Okay? Can you do that?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Good, I’m going to stop talking to you now. I need to get to sickbay to get this bomb out of my head and I need to inform the Captain about all that you told me. I want you to know that you are not alone Chris. I’m coming for you buddy. Come hell or high water, I’m coming for you and your dad, okay? Nothing is going to stand in my way.”</p><p>“Okay,” Chris whispered. “But I’m still scared Buck”</p><p>“That’s okay bud. So am I, but we can’t let that lead us. Be strong. I’m going to break the connection now. See you soon Chris.”</p><p>“Bye Buck. See you soon.”</p><p>Buck dropped the sphere on the bedspread and immediately tapped his comm badge. “Buck to Captain Nash.”</p><p>“Captain Nash here.”</p><p>“Captain,” Buck said. “We have a problem. Come to sickbay. I’ll explain it there.” He quickly disconnected and tapped again.</p><p>“Buck to Doctor Wilson.”</p><p>“Hen here. Hey Buck, what can I do for you?”</p><p>“Hen—I need your help. Are you in sickbay right now?”</p><p>“Yeah, I am, but why—”</p><p>“No time to explain. I’m coming over. Get the surgical bay ready!”</p><p>---</p><p>Bobby rushed through the hallway, his mind jumping from terrible situations to even worse situations. Buck had sounded so worried over the comm. What could have happened?</p><p>He came to a halt right before he stepped into sickbay, trying to control his breathing. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to have their captain panicking. As soon as he felt his nerves settle, he walked inside. Whatever it was that he had expected to see was not this.</p><p>Sickbay was on high alert. Buck was lying on an operating table as Hen was getting ready to perform—surgery?</p><p>“What the hell?” Bobby uttered out loud. Buck’s head swivelled into his direction. “Oh thank God!” He shouted. “Captain! There isn’t much time to explain what’s going on. All I can say is that I apparently have a bomb in my brain and Hen is going to go in to remove it.”</p><p>Bobby was stunned. “What? Buck—what is going on? A bomb in your head? What?”</p><p>“Look,” Buck said, slower now as he realised that he wasn’t making too much sense. “Christopher contacted me about an hour ago. He—”</p><p>“Christopher Diaz?” Bobby asked. “How?”</p><p>“Yeah, he—I gave him something to contact me with if he was ever in trouble. Obviously I never expected him to actually need it, but hey—here we are—” he gestured around him and then to himself. “He told me that his grandfather had gone completely nuts and he had separated Eddie and Chris, apparently blaming all that went wrong on Eddie. Chris said that—well, that they knocked Eddie out cold and locked him up somewhere.”</p><p>Bobby felt a shiver run down his spine. He took a deep breath. “And why are you on an operating table?”</p><p>Buck swallowed, sharing a brief glance with Hen, who looked very worried. “I—Chris told me that Ramon had been working together with Taylor Kelly. Apparently they have been using Eddie to spy on us—”</p><p>Bobby suddenly felt nauseated. “Did—did Eddie know about this?”</p><p>Buck’s eyes grew large as he vehemently called out in Eddie’s defence. “No! No! He knew nothing about it Cap’! I swear. Apparently he had been implanted with some kind of optical device when he was a kid. They just brought it back online. That’s all.”</p><p>“If they were spying on us, they have a lot of inside information,” Bobby deducted.</p><p>“Yeah, apparently enough information to let go of their permanent operative on board,” Buck said.</p><p>“Taylor Kelly,” Bobby replied.</p><p>“Yeah, she uh— she then went out to lure us into an ambush on that freighter ship. She must have taken over the ship and killed everyone only to lure us in. Who knows— maybe even the logs were tampered with— I don’t know.”</p><p>“She took you hostage and what? She planted a bomb inside of you?” Bobby asked, voice laced with concern.</p><p>“Yeah, I was out for a while on board of that ship and I do remember Kelly talking about something going <em>boom</em>, so yeah— according to Chris they were planning on making the device explode when I was in the engine room, in order to leave the ship stranded in space. Then they could attack us and apparently—start the revolution to overthrow the Federation. I’m not sure on the details of the plan—this was all that Chris could tell me. Anyway— I asked Hen to look for any anomalies in my brain and—”</p><p>Bobby looked at Hen. She nodded at him to confirm Buck’s suspicions. “Yes Captain, I have found something deeply imbedded into the soft tissue of his brain that clearly doesn’t belong there.”</p><p>“Can you remove it?”</p><p>“Yes, I believe I can,” Hen said.</p><p>“You <em>believe</em> you can?” Bobby repeated after her. “But you aren’t sure?”</p><p>“Captain,” Buck called for his attention again, “Hen has already informed me that there is always a risk when operating on a brain, but I’m willing to take the risk to get this thing out. I’ll take my chances. If it isn’t removed, they’ll be able to set it off and I’ll die anyway, probably taking a lot of other people with me. I just want it out.”</p><p>Bobby nodded. “Understood. I’ll give engineering the order to put up a forcefield around sickbay, in case—well—” He looked at Hen. She nodded at him. “Understood Captain. I’ll let you know when I’m done.”</p><p>“Very well, proceed doctor. Good luck,” he said. “Luck has nothing to do with it Cap’,” Buck interrupted, “Hen is the best of the best. I trust her more than I trust <em>luck</em> Sir.”</p><p>Bobby smiled at Buck, admiring his optimism in the face of such danger. “You might be right there son. She is pretty incredible.” He saw Buck swallow at his use of the word <em>son</em>. He hadn’t meant to use it, but it had just slipped out. In a way it was true. Over the years he had come to see the younger man as if he was his own son. He wasn’t about to take it back.</p><p>“Captain?” Buck hesitantly asked, stopping Hen from administering the sedative that would put him to sleep. “When this thing is out of my brain, permission to take a shuttle and go back to Mars Sir.”</p><p>Bobby just looked at him as he pursed his lips. “Permission denied.” He watched as Buck’s face crumpled, so he quickly stepped up to the bed and grabbed his hand, making sure he had Buck’s full attention. “You listen to me son, as soon as that thing is out of your brain? I am turning this entire ship around. We don’t leave our people behind to fend for themselves, you should know that by now.”</p><p>Buck smiled at him as tears fell down his cheeks. He squeezed Bobby’s hand. “Thank you Bobby—thank you—”</p><p>Bobby squeezed back for a moment.</p><p>“I don’t want to break up this beautiful moment, but—” Hen interrupted, holding up the sedative.</p><p>“Of course doctor,” Bobby said. “I’ll get out of your hair.” He looked back at Buck as he let go of him. “See you on the other side Buck.”</p><p>Buck nodded and then focused his attention back on Hen, who quickly administered the sedative. Bobby hurried out of sickbay.</p><p>“Captain Nash to Ensign—no, Captain Nash to <em>lieutenant</em> Han.”</p><p>Albert’s voice immediately floated back over the comm line. “Yes Sir.”</p><p>“Erect a force field around sickbay. Make sure to reroute enough power to it so it doesn’t rupture if an explosion would occur.”</p><p>“Yes Sir, on it. But Sir—an explosion?” Albert sounded worried.</p><p>“Thank you lieutenant. I— I’ll explain later. Captain signing out.”</p><p>Now all they could do was wait. He’d have to call a senior meeting to inform the command staff. He was a little hesitant to invite Maddie, because of the baby. But not inviting her was simply not an option. She would kill him if she found out later, Captain or no Captain.</p><p>He sighed and tapped his comm badge again. “Captain Nash to Counsellor Buckley.”</p><p>It took a few seconds for Maddie to respond.</p><p>“Hello, Captain?” She sounded tired. He probably had just woken her up.</p><p>“Maddie, I’m sorry for waking you, but it’s Buck—”</p><p>She gasped on the other side of the comm. He brought up his hand and rubbed his eyes.</p><p>This was going to be a long night.</p><p>---</p><p>Two hours and thirty-six minutes. That’s how long it took for Hen to remove the micro-bomb from Buck’s brain. If it took her so long to get the thing out, she is mystified how on Earth they got the thing in there so fast without any damage in the first place. She was bone deep tired. The stress of having to operate on her friend and the fact that the entire thing could go off and blow them all up into Kingdom come had taken up all of her energy. But it was done now and she was ready to wake Buck up.</p><p>She quickly administered the drug to wake him and waited with baited breath. Everything should be fine. She must have done a dozen tests to check his brain functions. But still—</p><p>Buck started to stir. Hen’s breath hitched for a moment before she softly spoke to him.</p><p>“Buck? Hey, can you hear me? It’s time to wake up now.”</p><p>Finally he opened his eyes. “Hen?” He asked.</p><p>“Hey Buck,” Hen replied, smiling at him. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>He looked a little disoriented, but that was normal after brain surgery, so she wasn’t too worried about that.</p><p>“I don’t know. Fine, I guess,” he slowly said. “Did you get it out?”</p><p>Hen put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “Yeah Buck, I did. It’s all gone.” She then reached out to pick up the containment cylinder holding the device and showed it to him.</p><p>“Meet the culprit.”</p><p>“It’s so tiny,” Buck said.</p><p>Hen huffed. “Yeah, it is. Could have done a lot of damage though. I scanned it and this thing packs a punch. It was strong enough to take out the entire engine room and probably more.”</p><p>“Good that you got it out then,” Buck said, smiling at her. “Did they manage to disable it?”</p><p>Hen nodded. “Yeah, I sent the scans to engineering and they were able to remotely access the bomb’s system to disable it.” She sent him a grin and proceeded to quickly check his pupils. Everything seemed to be all right. “I think you’re okay now,” she informed him.</p><p>“Can I leave?” He asked.</p><p>“What?” She looked at him incredulously. “No, Buck, you can’t. You just had freaking brain surgery. You’re staying in sickbay for a while.”</p><p>Buck then looked at her, worry clear in his eyes. “Hen,” he started, “normally I would be the first person to listen to your advice when it came to something serious like this, you know that right?”</p><p>Hen nodded. “Yeah, I do. Which also begs the question why you are even thinking about disregarding that advice.”</p><p>Buck shook his head and looked up at her. “It’s Eddie, Hen. He’s in danger. And Chris— and I just— I need to go. I need to get to them so—”</p><p>“So what?” Hen asked.</p><p>Buck looked away for a moment, clearly trying to reign in some of his emotions in order to plead his case. “—so I can bring them <em>home</em>.”</p><p>Hen just stared at him, before breaking into a smile. “Damn boy, you have a way with words. Do you know that? It’s about high time you brought your boys back into the fold of his family on the 118. I’ve been waiting for you to catch a clue for months now.”</p><p>Buck looked startled but pleased with her answer. “So—does that mean I can go?” He asked.</p><p>Hen nodded. “Yeah, but with clear doctor’s orders, do you hear me? I need you to try and stay calm for a couple of days— well, as calm as you can be under these circumstances. And make sure to drink plenty of fluids and sleep whenever you feel tired. But other than that—I see no reason anymore to keep you confined to sickbay.”</p><p>Buck surged up to hug her. She held on tightly for a minute, before letting go. “You’re welcome.” He gingerly got up from the bed and as soon as he had established his balance he bustled out of the room.</p><p>“He is so not going to take it easy, is he?” Hen asked the empty room, sighing deeply. She rubbed her eyes and tapped her comm. Time to let everyone know Buck was okay.</p><p>---</p><p>Chimney rubbed his eyes. The meeting had been long and tiring. If what the Captain was saying was all true, they were in deep shit. The Martian Army had operatives everywhere. This had been going on for years and how was it that no one in Starfleet had noticed anything amiss?</p><p>Bobby was just about to dismiss them all, when Hen called them over the comm, informing them about the success of the operation and how Buck was already up and running and he was heading their way. She had barely signed off when the doors slid open and Buck stumbled in.</p><p>“Evan!” Maddie shot out of her chair and hurried over to her brother, hugging him tightly. Chim breathed out in relief. Thank God Buck was okay. He knew that Hen was the best of the best, but a surgery this delicate would definitely have challenged even the likes of her.</p><p>“I’m okay Maddie. It’s okay,” Buck reassured his sister, before taking her arm and leading her back to her chair. Maddie rolled her eyes. “I’m not an invalid Buck, I’m pregnant.” But she sat down anyway. Buck turned towards the Captain.</p><p>“Captain, do you—”</p><p>Bobby held up his hand to stop Buck. “Buck,” he interrupted, “should you be on your feet right now?”</p><p>Buck stood up a little taller and looked straight at him. “Sir, I’m fully aware that I’ve just undergone brain surgery and that I should probably rest. Hen has recommended that I do, so don’t blame her. I came here on my own and I’m willing to take the risk. I need to be here Cap’. Please don’t send me away,” he pleaded.</p><p>Bobby looked over at Chim for a moment for advice. And here’s the thing—rationally Chimney knew that Buck should be sent back to sickbay or his quarters to rest. But he also knew that logic was not leading Buck right now. He was following his heart, not his mind. And he got that, because if it would be Maddie out there and their little girl, he would act in the exact same manner. So yeah— he nodded at Bobby.</p><p>Bobby nodded back. The decision had been made. “Very well,” he said, “you can stay. We’ll inform you of the course of action we’ve established so far.”</p><p>Buck visually calmed and finally sat down.</p><p>“Okay, we have informed Starfleet Command of the information Christopher provided us with. And to our surprise they didn’t seem all that <em>surprised</em> themselves. Turns out that a secret branch of the Federation, called Section 31 have been collecting data about the Martian operatives for years now. The only reason why they haven’t gone public with the information is because they are planning a massive strike on all the operatives at the same exact moment. They knew early on that such an extensive operation would take years to plan, so they decided to keep quiet about it, to not alert the spies that they were on to them. The date had already been set, they would strike within 4 months. To make a long story short—they were more than willing to change their planned date to an earlier moment. Since we now know that Ramon Diaz is planning to set his own plan in motion as soon as possible.”</p><p>“When?” Buck asked.</p><p>“In 6 days,” Bobby replied. They will need time to coordinate the strike without attracting unwilling attention.</p><p>“Six days?” Buck repeated. He seemed lost in thought for a moment. “Bobby, that probably gives us just enough time to go back to Mars and save Eddie and Chris.”</p><p>Bobby nodded. “I know, I have already given the helm orders to set course to Mars at full warp speed. Barring any engine problems, we should arrive in Martian space in 5 days. We have also received some rough intel from Eric Whitmore, one of Karen’s friends. He’s an Earth diplomate who reached out to us a couple of hours ago. Apparently he can help us to keep under the radar for as long as possible once we reach Martian space. He also assured us that he can help us get into Ramon’s house without detection.”</p><p>“How?” Buck asked. “From what I’ve heard from Eddie that house is built like a medieval fortress. Only one way in and one way out.”</p><p>“Yeah, but we have a secret weapon inside the house,” Bobby said. “Adriana, Eddie’s sister. She’s the one who told Whitmore to contact us in the first place. Apparently she’ll be able to provide us with all the access codes to get in undetected.”</p><p>Buck smiled. They had allies. Things were looking up. He looked at the Captain. “You didn’t lie before. You really are going back to get them.” Then he slowly looked at everyone gathered around the table. “You all are,” he added.</p><p>Chimney leaned over and covered Buck’s hand with his. “Of course we are. Eddie and Chris are family. The 118 doesn’t leave family behind.” Maddie also leaned over and put her own hand on top of his. Slowly everyone joined in until the entire senior staff were linked. Tears sprang to Buck’s eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered, “Thank you all so very much.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Bobby said. He retracted his hand and stood up straight, face determined. “Now, let’s focus on what’s ahead of us and see if we can bring along a couple of surprises they will never see coming.”</p><p>Chimney smirked. Oh, he was going to enjoy this very much.</p><p>---</p><p>To say that Ramon was pissed was an understatement. He seemed livid.</p><p>“What do you mean: ‘It has been deactivated’?”</p><p>Taylor Kelly looked up to him with a lazy smile. “I mean it like I said it—the device in Buckley’s head just stopped sending signals. We don’t know what happened for sure, but they aren’t stupid. We should consider that we have been found out.”</p><p>Ramon closed his eyes for a moment, before—</p><p>“AAAAAH!” He growled out as he picked up the nearest object, a bust of his late father, and hurled it against the wall, breaking it in a thousand pieces.</p><p>“Auwch,” Taylor said, completely unphased, “poor daddy.” She sent Ramon another smirk. “You do realise this is all your son’s fault, right?” she said, “It has to be. We’ve been flying under the radar without any problems for years and now <em>all of a sudden</em>— Buck finds out about the bomb?” She shook her head. “No, that’s too big of a coincidence. Eddie must have found a way to communicate with him— to let him know what was up.”</p><p>“That’s impossible,” Ramon replied, still seething with anger. “Edmundo’s been locked up in the basement for 4 days now. My soldiers have made sure that he won’t be able to escape or communicate with anyone.”</p><p>Taylor studied her nails for a moment, before looking back up at Ramon. “Well, if it wasn’t your son—someone else in your household let the 118 know what’s up. So who was it then?”</p><p>Ramon looked troubled. “I don’t know. I can’t think of anyone who could have access to—” He suddenly stopped talking. “No,” he whispered to himself. “It couldn’t be—could it?”</p><p>“Listen, if you know—” Taylor started. “Silence!” He shouted as he sent her a scathing look, clearly unwilling to talk about it anymore.</p><p>She held up her hands in faux innocence. “Fine, then don’t tell me. But clearly the word is out now. Without any doubt the 118 will have informed Starfleet Command of this information. We can only assume they talked about the hundreds of operatives we have spread over the entire fleet. We have to act fast Ramon, or we’ll lose the advantage.” She sat up a little straighter. “In fact—we have to act <em>now</em>.”</p><p>He looked at her for a moment and finally nodded. “Very well, I’ll set the plan in motion. No need to wait for Starfleet to make the first move. We’ll show them exactly what the Martian Army is capable of.”</p><p>She grinned at him. Finally she would get her revenge on Starfleet and the Federation. Nobody locked up Taylor Kelly and got away with it.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie woke up when the door to his cell opened. He was lying on the floor, his back against the wall. He tried to sit up, but every single movement he made filled him with pain and agony. The guards had been relentless with their beatings. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take before the damage to his body became irreversible. Moving was so hard, but still—</p><p><em>“You never show the enemy how weak you are Edmundo</em>.”</p><p>At least one useful life lesson he had learned from his father. So, despite the pain lancing through his side, he still sat up to defiantly face whomever had just walked in.</p><p>And speaking of the devil—</p><p>“Hello Edmundo,” his father said. He looked around the tiny dank cell for a moment, before he set his cold eyes on his son. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”</p><p>“Are you here to torment me some more? Then you better get it over with Ramon.” He refused to call him father. The man didn’t deserve that title anymore.</p><p>“Oh no Edmundo. I am here to gloat. You see, I have an announcement to make. The Martian Revolution has officially begun. You see—” Ramon walked over to him and bent over to whisper something in his ear. Eddie shivered as his father’s breath caressed his cheek. He felt nauseated.</p><p>“Your little friend went BOOM!” He suddenly yelled in Eddie’s ear. Eddie gasped. No no no no—it couldn’t—</p><p>“No!” he yelled out.</p><p>“Oh yes, your mister Buckley was a tall fellow, wasn’t he? A big strong body? It was reported that they found pieces of him all over the ship when it was all over. So sad.”</p><p>Eddie folded in on himself.</p><p>Buck.</p><p>Buck was dead.</p><p>Ramon put his hand under Eddie’s chin and yanked his head up. “Funny thing though— it seems that someone on this planet tried to warn him about the little explosive device buried in his brain. That someone was too late of course, but still—” Ramon trailed off. He sighed deeply as he focused all of his attention on Eddie, staring in his eyes. “Now, I have to admit that my first thought went to you, but I knew you were here,” he gestured around him, “in your new home, so that wasn’t possible. Then I started thinking and realised that it really only could have been <em>one</em> <em>person</em>.”</p><p>Eddie’s blood turned into ice. No.</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>Not Christopher.</p><p>“Oh, but—yes, he did Edmundo. We both know it. He has that same Diaz stubborn streak we all possess. I think it’s time I learned him a little lesson about the <em>do’s</em> and <em>don’ts</em> on this planet, don’t you think.”</p><p>Eddie gathered his last strength and suddenly surged up, grabbing on to his father collar. “You don’t touch him,” he threatened, his voice low and dangerous. “I swear to god—if you touch one hair on his head—”</p><p>“Then what Eddie?” Ramon taunted. “Tell me—what will you do? What can you do? Locked up all alone in your little cell? I’ll tell you Eddie. There is <em>nothing</em> you can do to stop me. Nothing. And you know it.”</p><p>He put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “But don’t worry, I wouldn’t hurt my little Christopher. He’s the only grandson I have left. He needs to become strong to take over from me some day. So, don’t worry, I’ll show him the error of his ways and raise him properly, teaching him how to be a good little soldier.”</p><p>He then pushed Eddie away from him. All of Eddie’s energy and strength left him in one go and he sank back against the wall. His father looked down at him in disgust. “Look at you, fallen so deep. We were willing to give it all to you, but ultimately you turned out to be such a disappointment. I hope you do realise Edmundo, that all of this is your fault. Your boyfriend’s death? Your fault. Your son’s future? Your fault. The death of thousands of people aboard hundreds of star ships? Your fault. Now, I’m not an animal. You’ll have one meal and one bowl of water a day for the rest of your days. I wish you a nice and <em>long</em> rest of your life rotting away in here. Goodbye Edmundo.”</p><p>As he forcefully shut the door behind him, the sound reverberated in the silence of the basement. Eddie curled up into himself, a wail filled with agony escaping him. Buck and Christopher’s voices kept popping up in his mind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It’s your fault that I’m dead Eddie,” Buck taunted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Daddy why didn’t you save me?” Chris pleaded.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>His</em> fault.</p><p>All <em>his</em> fault.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to stay on top of the updates. :)</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this. I know I loved writing it. If you did enjoy, it would love if you could leave me a kudo and/or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on all that's going on in this chapter or in the overall story.</p><p>Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Saved again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Please, can you tell us— where’s Eddie?”</p><p>Isabel studied Buck’s face for a moment. He seemed almost afraid to hear the answer to his own question. It crossed her mind that this man must care a great deal about Eddie. He had that desperate look to him that she had seen many times before staring back in the mirror, after one of her loved ones had been -once again- in danger. In fact, she had seen it only this morning as she couldn’t stop worrying over her grandson’s fate.</p><p>AKA the one where Buck will stop at nothing to save his boys, but will he make it in time to save them both?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This took quite some time to write, because it's heavy on plot and heavy with emotions. I frequently made myself cry while writing certain scenes. I edited this chapter up to 5 times in total, just to get it as perfect as I could get it. Since I'm a perfectionist and because it's the chapter that ties up a lot of the plot I needed it to be (almost) flawless.</p><p>We're nearing the end of this fic. The next two chapters (+ epilogue) are less plot-heavy and they'll tie up loose ends. There might even be a little smut along the way. I haven't decided yet.</p><p>Oh yeah, Taylor Kelly made an appearance in this fic before season 4 started. I didn't like her character on the show very much, so I decided to make her a villain without scrupules. However, then season 4 happened and she seems to have grown a lot on the show. The writers have developped her character a little more and I actually quite liked her in that last episode. So yeah, in this fic she is of course still a badass space pirate and she (probably) always will be. But just to make it clear: no canonical Taylor Kelly hate in this house.</p><p>Enjoy and feel free to drop by on my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lemotmo">Tumblr</a> to chat about this fic or anything else really.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Now now Christopher, it’ll all be okay. I promise.” Isabel Diaz held on tightly to her great-grandson, doing her best to console him. The boy had been miserable living with Ramon and Helena. They had forcefully moved him into their quarters 5 days ago and he had fought them <em>tooth and nail</em> for every single second of it. At every opportunity, he had escaped their quarters to hide out in Isabel’s room. Isabel greatly approved of this. Her son and daughter-in-law had lost their minds: locking up their son and separating him from their grandson? It was a crime— as simple as that. So, the fact that Christopher was making things so difficult for them, made her extremely happy. She couldn’t be more proud of the boy if she tried.</p><p>“This cannot go on mama,” Pepa spoke up. She was sitting on the bed, to the other side of the boy, softly petting his hair. She looked deeply troubled. “I know Josephina,” Isabel replied. “I know. But what can we do? I tried to talk to Ramon and to reason with him, but it is like talking to a brick wall. I have never seen your brother like this. It is like he has changed into a completely different person. I don’t know who he is anymore and I am his mother. He is no longer the boy I raised. I just—” Isabel sighed. Her boy— her beautiful Ramon. Her mother’s heart— <em>broken</em> when she had witnessed the way Ramon had treated Edmundo. She feared there was no coming back from this.</p><p>“I miss my dad,” Chris said, still clutching on to her.</p><p>“I know my boy,” Isabel replied. “I wish I could get you to him, but I’m not even sure where Ramon is keeping him. He is somewhere down in the basement, but where?”</p><p>“It has to be the cells on the East-side,” Sophia piped up. She had been sitting on a chair, across the room, quietly observing the tableau on the bed. “It’s the only place big enough to lock someone up in.” She shook her head and looked down at her hands. “I just don’t understand why dad would do such a thing,” she finally said. “And mom—she just went along with it. I can’t wrap my head around it. I just can’t—"</p><p>“The Martian Army was born centuries ago, out of a necessity to defend our planet’s resources,” Pepa started, “but we cannot deny that the organisation has been radicalising for at least— the last 100 years. Under your grandfather’s leadership it took a turn for the worse. My father was a strict man who didn’t take <em>no</em> for an answer and he taught your father well. Ramon was a quiet and shy boy, but when father was done with him—” She cast a worried look at Isabel, who nodded for her to continue. “Your abuela and I-- we both knew it. We saw it unravel and yet we chose to turn our heads away, to not say a single word even when we saw Ramon drifting further and further away from us. And that is on us. We could have stopped this years ago when your father started radicalising even more, after Eddie ran away with Shannon, but instead we did nothing. And then when little Ray died—” She swallowed heavily. “It was like a <em>catalyst</em> that made him teeter over the edge of sanity. After that— my brother was lost to us. Everything that had still been good and decent about him died with Ray and we were left with this empty shell of a man consumed by hatred and rage against an organisation that had no fault in the boy’s death. If anything this is partly on all of us for allowing Ramon to take Ray with him into battle in the first place. It was no place for a child.” She looked away for a moment, lost in regret. “In Ramon’s mind he is a victim and the Federation and all that it entails is the <em>big bad</em>. As for your mother— she seems to be ignoring all of your father’s shortcomings. I guess the old saying is true: love <em>is</em> blind.”</p><p>Isabel sighed. What were they going to do? The situation was hopeless. And her poor Edmundo. Where was he? What had happened to him? She pulled Chris a little closer. Suddenly the door was forcefully pushed open. Sophia immediately aimed a phaser towards the door. “Oh, put that away Sophia. It’s only me,” Adriana said as soon as she saw her sister. She quickly closed the door behind her, but not before anxiously casting one last look behind her in the corridor. She seemed extremely nervous. “Adri, what—” Isabel started, worried about her granddaughter.</p><p>“Okay, listen up everyone,” Adri said, interrupting her abuela with an apologetic glance, “In about 2 minutes something is about to go down that has the potential to make all hell break lose and I need all of you to not freak out, okay?”</p><p>Sophia was the first one to talk. “Adri, what are you talking about? What is going on?” She sounded concerned.</p><p>“I don’t have that much time to explain, but— she quickly checked the time on her tricorder— in about a minute a few people will be teleported into this room. Don’t be afraid or don’t raise any alarms. They are friendly and they are here to help us. They have come for Eddie and Chris.”</p><p>At hearing his name, Chris looked up from where his face had been buried in his abuela’s shoulder. “They are here for us?”</p><p>“Yes, I have been in contact with Eric who, in turn, has been in contact with the 118. Captain Nash is in Martian space right now, but the ship hasn’t been detected yet, because they are sending out older Martian radar codes to stay out of the spotlight for as long as possible. Right now they are showing up on the radar as a Vulcan freighter ship. Five of their crew are going to beam directly into this room. That’s the highest number of people they felt comfortable with to teleport to the surface without being detected.”</p><p>“Where did they get the old radar codes?” Sophia asked.</p><p>Adriana didn’t look up from her tricorder. “I gave ‘em to them.”</p><p>“You betrayed the army?” Sophia replied. She looked a little pale.</p><p>“No,” Isabel interrupted, “Adri did what had to be done Sophia. There was no other way.”</p><p>Adriana looked up at her with gratitude in her eyes. “Thank you abuela.” Isabel simply nodded at her.</p><p>Christopher grabbed Isabel’s arm and smiled for the first time in days. “Buck,” he said, “Buck promised that he was going to come for us. He kept his promise.” He looked at Pepa and Isabel, confidence in his eyes. “We’re going to be okay now— all of us. Buck is here abuela.”</p><p>Isabel smiled down at her grandson, amazed by the confidence he had in this man. “If you say so <em>mijo</em>—if you say so,” she replied, gently stroking his cheek.</p><p>Then, as if on cue, the tell-tale sound of transporter beams echoed in the room and suddenly they were surrounded by 5 people in Starfleet uniforms.</p><p>One of them, a tall strong-looking handsome man in a golden uniform, quickly looked around and immediately stepped forward towards Christopher, his arms wide open. “Christopher!”</p><p>Her great-grandson let go of her and launched himself into the man’s arms, clutching at him desperately. “Buck!” he yelled out. The man—<em>Buck</em>, hugged the boy tight, hiding his face in his neck and inhaling deeply, as if to make sure he was really holding on to him. “Oh buddy, am I glad to see you. I’ve missed you so much.” Isabel couldn’t be sure, but he almost sounded on the verge of tears. Buck clearly cared very much for her great-grandson.</p><p>Another man, dressed in a red uniform, stepped forward. He exuded strength and a natural command. “I am Captain Nash. Who is Adriana?” He asked. Adriana stepped forward. “I am,” she said. Captain Nash stepped up to her and took one her hands in between his. “Thank you,” he simply said. “What you did took guts.”</p><p>Adriana shook her head. “No Captain, I merely reached out to my friend Eric to send you a message, that is all.” The Captain’s bright eyes stayed on Adriana. He was smiling. “No, you may just have saved thousands of people on hundreds of star ships. That is no small feat. So I’ll say it again: thank you.”</p><p>Adriana teared up. “I was only doing it to save my brother and nephew. I didn’t even think of all the other victims my father was planning to make. So I don’t deserve such praise,” she said. She gently pulled her hand back. “However—I am glad that it turned out the way it did. This could no longer go on. Father is— he is gone. His body is there, but his mind has been poisoned to the point of no return. This needs to end today, Captain.”</p><p>Captain Nash nodded. “That’s why we’re here.”</p><p>“Please, can you tell us— where’s Eddie?” Buck asked, standing up while finally letting go of Chris. The boy immediately clutched on to his hand as if to make sure he wouldn’t disappear. Isabel studied Buck’s face for a moment. He seemed almost afraid to hear the answer to his own question. It crossed her mind that this man must care a great deal about Eddie. He had that desperate look to him that she had seen many times before staring back in the mirror, after one of her loved ones had been -once again- in danger. In fact, she had seen it only this morning as she couldn’t stop worrying over her grandson’s fate.</p><p>“He’s in one of the basement cells. There is a wooden door at the end of the western corridor on the first floor. If you go through that you get to a wooden staircase that leads down,” Sophia said. She stood up and sighed. “Unfortunately there is not a lot else I can tell you about that place, other than that there are confinement cells in the east-side corridor of the basement. Father never allowed us to explore down there. God knows we tried to sneak in as kids, the <em>forbidden fruit</em> and all—but to no avail. The place <em>was</em>, and still <em>is</em> heavily guarded and we were always spotted and brought back before we even reached the staircase.”</p><p>Buck licked his lips and turned to the Captain. “Cap’?”</p><p>Captain Nash nodded. “I know Buck. I get it. I want to rush in there as much as you do, but we need to be careful. There is a lot more going on than just getting Eddie out. Remember Ramon is out there as well.” He pointed to the door. “And he won’t be happy once he realises we’re here. We need to stick to the plan— for now.”</p><p>Buck looked distraught. “Sir,” another member of the crew spoke up, a Bajoran in a red uniform. He wasn’t as tall as the others, but what he lacked in height, he made up for in clear determination and intent. This man was a force to be reckoned with. “Permission for me and Buck to go look for Eddie as soon as the first floor has been cleared.”</p><p>Nash seemed to overthink it for a moment. Isabel could pinpoint the very second when the Captain decided to grant the man’s request. He nodded briefly. “Very well Chimney, but be careful— the <em>both</em> of you.” He then looked at Buck. “Let’s make sure we make it <em>all</em> home <em>in one piece</em>, okay?”</p><p>Buck smiled at him in relief. “Yes Sir.” He seemed anxious to get out of the room. There was no doubt in Isabel’s mind that this man would leave no stone unturned until he had found her grandson. It filled her with joy that Edmundo had found such good friends—and perhaps even <em>love</em> on the 118. It must have been so lonely for him on that barren moon, for all those years. He had clearly lucked out— both of them had.</p><p>“Very well,” one of the two women in the company spoke up. She also wore a golden uniform. She looked fierce, ready to get the job done, “people— <em>remember</em> the plan. <em>Stick</em> to the plan. Don’t run off and do something stupid.” She immediately turned to meet Buck’s gaze. “I’m looking at you Buck. Don’t take risks. It won’t help Eddie if we have to take you home in a body bag.”</p><p>“No Athena,” Buck said, making a cross over his heart, “no stupid risks. I promise.”</p><p>“Hmmm,” she hummed, “We’ll see about that.”</p><p>She stepped over to the door. “Okay, so remember— Buck and Chim, stick together at all times. Sweep the first floor and take out anyone who tries to sound the alarm. As soon as the floor is clear, take the basement stairs down to find Eddie. The Captain, Hen and I will focus on Ramon’s private chambers on the ground floor. Let’s hope we’re not too late to stop him.” She looked at the woman named Hen. “Let’s also hope you won’t need to use your particular set of skills, Hen.”</p><p>Hen smirked. “Roger that Athena. But fat chance when you work with the likes of Buck and Chimney.”</p><p>“Hey!” Both men protested at the same time, earning them <em>knowing</em> looks from both women. “Yeah,” Athena smiled and nodded. “Don’t I know it.” She then looked back at Isabel and her family. “All of you stay here. Do you hear me? <em>Stay here</em>, lock the door after we’ve left. No matter what happens or what you might hear out there. <em>This</em> is the safest place to be in right now. As soon as all is clear, we’ll come get you. All right?”</p><p>Isabel nodded along with Pepa and her granddaughters. Christopher however was another matter.</p><p>“No, Buck— ” He tugged at Buck’s hand and looked up at him. “I want to go with you. I want to find dad.”</p><p>Buck crouched down and looked the boy in the eye. “<em>No can do</em> buddy. You know that,” he gently said. “Your dad would skin me alive if he would ever find out I put you in danger like that. You need to stay here, okay? This room with your family is the safest place right now. You have four strong women here to protect you. The only way I will be able to find your dad is if I’m 100% focused on the task. I can’t be focused like that when I’m constantly worrying where you are. So please, stay here. Okay?”</p><p>Christopher nodded. He seemed distraught. “You’ll find him, right? And you’ll bring him back to me?”</p><p>Buck looked straight into his eyes. “Of course I will, after all— I have saved him once before on Sitèria, haven’t I? That was like finding a needle in a haystack, but I succeeded anyway. So I’ll just have to do it all over again.” Chris stuck up his pinky finger. “Pinky promise?” He asked. Buck smiled at him and hooked his own pinky around Chris’s. “Pinky promise,” he confirmed.</p><p>“I hate to break up this beautiful moment, but we need to move <em>now</em> if we want to keep the element of surprise,” Athena piped up.</p><p>Buck nodded. He smiled at Chris one last time and got up. They all gathered at the door, where the Captain made brief eye-contact with his crew before opening the door. Isabel blinked and when she opened her eyes again they were gone. Sophia immediately rushed over to the door, closing it and locking it thoroughly.</p><p>Isabel sighed. “Come here Chris,” she said as she reached for Christopher’s hand and started praying. Now all they could do was wait.</p><p>---</p><p>As they made their way down to the ground floor, Athena’s gut instincts started acting up. Something wasn’t <em>right</em>. They had arrived in Martian space hours ago, staying undetected by using the old Army codes. But Athena wouldn’t have made it all the way to Chief of Security of a star ship if she had blindly trusted every single <em>lucky break</em> they had ever gotten. She couldn’t help it, she hadn’t trusted those dusty old codes for a single second. Not that she didn’t believe in Adriana’s genuine desire to help, but more that it would be very odd for such a well organised Army to not pick up that there was something wrong with those codes.</p><p>So she had remained vigilant during every single minute that the 118 had passed through Martian space. Every routine check-in they had done she had expected to be found out, so she had kept an eye out to make sure the Martian fleet wouldn’t catch them with their guard down. But <em>nothing</em>— in fact, they hadn’t encountered one single ship on their way to the red planet, which was <em>odd</em> to say the least. Mars had a big population. One would expect to see more trade ships around. Also, you would think that an organisation that had been planning a top-secret coup under the noses of the Federation for years now would be a little harder to fool than this.</p><p>No, something was going on and she didn’t like it at all. Still, no way but forward. There was no other choice. This coup needed to be nipped in the bud or the Federation as they knew it would seize to exist today and that was simply not an option.</p><p>“Athena,” Bobby whispered, shaking her out of her gloomy thoughts. “What are you thinking?” They halted in the main hall, hidden from the eye behind a wall that led to a side-corridor. Hen looked between them, curiosity in her eyes. “I don’t know what you mean,” Athena replied, knowing full well that Bobby wouldn’t be fooled by her deflection. To say that her husband <em>knew</em> her was an understatement.</p><p>“Athena,” Bobby repeated. “I’ve been married to you long enough now to recognise that look on your face. Something is bothering you. What is it?”</p><p>Athena sighed and gave in. Her husband was a stubborn man. “Oh fine. I just— I can’t shake the feeling that this is all going a little too smoothly, you know? Entering Martian space? No big deal. Getting into the mansion? Piece of cake. I mean— is this really the fierce Martian Army I’ve heard so much about? Whenever Eddie told stories about the history of the Army and about the missions he’d gone on, I got a real sense of danger about the entire organisation. So I guess I expected detection and resistance— instead, I get <em>this</em>.” She gestured around her. “No detection and no resistance whatsoever. Just empty halls and empty rooms. I just— I don’t trust it Bobby. Something is wrong here. I can feel it.”</p><p>Hen looked a little spooked. “Athena, maybe we’re just lucky?” She countered. Athena glanced at her and rolled her eyes. “Hen, you are smarter than that. I know that for a fact,” she replied. Hen sighed and nodded, acknowledging the truth. “It is going awfully easy, I admit. Probably a little <em>too easy</em>.”</p><p>Bobby looked between Athena and Hen. He put his hands on his sides and turned around for a moment, sighing deeply. A moment later he faced them again, rubbing his eyes wearily. “Whatever it is, we can’t afford to let it deter us from our mission. Starfleet depends on us, you know that,” he replied. “I know Bobby,” Athena admitted, briefly resting her hand on his. “It’s just an observation.”</p><p>Bobby nodded and nervously bit his lip. “I know it is,” he replied, looking at Athena. “Only problem is that I know that in 99% of our previous missions your gut instinct has been right. That’s what scares me the most. If you are right— ” he trailed off.</p><p>Athena grabbed his hand a little tighter. “I know— and I get it. The future of the Federation depends on us. They need us to bring this mission to a satisfactory ending. We are literally the only thing standing between peace and a full-blown war between the Army and Starfleet. No pressure, I’m sure.” She smirked at him. “So, let’s just move on an we’ll deal with any problems when we come across them.”</p><p>“Very well,” Bobby nodded, looking at Hen. “Hen?”</p><p>“Hey, don’t look at me,” she replied, showing her palms in surrender. “You’re the Captain. You’re in command. Just say the word and I’ll follow wherever you go.”</p><p>Bobby smiled and nodded at her. “All right, there’s a double door at the other side of this hallway. That’s the entrance to the Diaz’s private quarters. It’s supposed to be heavily guarded, so keep alert.”</p><p>“Aye aye Captain,” Hen said and they headed out.</p><p>---</p><p>“These rooms are all clear Chim,” Buck said as soon as he spotted the Commander in the corridor. “Yeah, my side as well. It’s weird— there doesn’t seem to be anyone around. I at least expected some <em>minor</em> resistance.” Chim looked around, anxiously chewing some gum. “I know what you mean,” Buck replied. “Everyone seems to have vanished in this house.”</p><p>“Yeah— let’s hope that doesn’t mean what I think it might mean,” Chimney said, glancing back at Buck. Buck nodded. He had the same bad feeling about this, but there was no way he was turning back now. Eddie was somewhere in this building and he was going to find him, bring him home and never let him go again. And that was that.</p><p>“We’ve swept the entire floor. I really want to go down to that basement now Chimney,” Buck said, the question clear in his eyes. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was ready to defy orders if it meant that he could save Eddie’s life. So, if Chim decided to not proceed with the mission, he would go solo.</p><p>“Don’t even think about it Buck,” Chimney said. Buck raised his eyebrows in innocence. “Yeah yeah, I know you by now. You were thinking of taking off on your own to find your boy, but that isn’t how this works my friend. In this scenario I’m the superior officer and you do as I say, got it?” Buck reluctantly agreed. “Yes Sir.”</p><p>“Okay, then my next order is— to find that damn door to the basement and get <em>our</em> boy out of here.” He smirked at Buck. “You little—” Buck started. Chimney put up his hands in complete surrender. “Hey hey, still your commanding officer here Buckley. But please— do finish that sentence.”</p><p>Buck grumbled but let it go. They had other things to focus on right now. “Can we just go down to that basement now— Sir?”</p><p>Chimney smiled ruefully at him. “Lead the way Chief. Lead the way.”</p><p>He didn’t have to tell Buck twice as he took off towards the heavy wooden doors at the end of the corridor. As soon as he had reached them, he tried the handle--</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to work Buck. We’re not just going to be able to walk in there like nothing—”</p><p>-- and the door opened without resistance.</p><p>“What the—” Chimney said. “Okay, this has now officially gone from <em>just</em> suspicious to <em>highly</em> suspicious.” Buck peeked inside for a moment and glanced back at Chimney. “Yeah well— it gets even weirder. There is no one here Chim. Sophia said that when they tried to sneak in they always found it heavily guarded. But there is no one here now.” Buck was officially worried. “You think that—”</p><p>“They’re on to us?” Chimney asked. “Oh yeah, without a doubt.” He anxiously looked around as if he expected to be jumped by a dozen guards any second now. “However,” he continued, a determined glint in his eye. “We’ve come this far. Might as well take a peak in that basement, right?” He added. Buck smiled at him. “Yes Sir,” he replied.</p><p>“Okay,” Chimney said, “In three—”</p><p>Buck braced himself next to Chimney, both of them firmly grasping their phasers, putting them to ‘stun’.</p><p>“—two—”</p><p>He put his shoulder up against the door.</p><p>“—one—”</p><p>He pushed the door open without resistance and Chimney led the way inside.</p><p>Here went nothing.</p><p>---</p><p>Bobby’s internal alarms were going off like crazy. Athena had been right from the get go. Something about this entire situation was fishy. His mind kept yelling at him—</p><p>
  <em>Something is wrong! Go back! Do not proceed! Abort! Abort!</em>
</p><p>They had just passed the heavy set doors to the Diaz’s private quarters and had encountered <em>no one</em>. Not one single soul, not a guard or a servant— just <em>no one</em>.</p><p>“Bobby,” Athena whispered breathlessly. “I know Athena— I know, but we’re here now. Let’s just carry on,” Bobby replied as they cautiously ventured further into the living quarters.</p><p>Just like everywhere else, the Diaz’s private rooms were all devoid of life. They took halt in the living room. “Maybe we should check on Chimney and Buck?” Hen suggested. “Who knows? They could have had more luck.”</p><p>“No,” Bobby replied, “Contacting them right now is a bad idea. I don’t want to compromise them if they are in an unsafe situation.”</p><p>Hen put up her hands in frustration. “But— then what?”</p><p>“I propose that we make our way back to the first floor to find them. There’s nothing here for us. I think it’s safe to say by now that we’ve been <em>made</em>. They must have known somehow that we were coming and they’ve evacuated the building, leaving only Eddie’s grandmother, aunt and sisters. Probably to lure us in with a false sense of security.”</p><p>Loud handclapping suddenly echoed in the room. “My my, they definitely sent the best and the brightest, didn’t they?”</p><p>Bobby immediately pointed his phaser into the direction of the voice, only to put it down again when he came face to face with a hologram— a very <em>familiar</em> hologram.</p><p>“Taylor Kelly,” Athena said, phaser still pointed in the hologram’s direction. “What brings you to this neck of the woods? The fine weather? Or the lovely red beaches?”</p><p>Taylor laughed out loud. “Athena Grant. I’ve missed you and your dry sense of humour,” she said, before looking at Bobby. “You know Captain, I know I was only on the 118 to spy on you all, but— I have to admit I do kinda miss it <em>sometimes</em>. The camaraderie, you know? Not a lot of that <em>here</em>, being in the crime-business and all.”</p><p>Bobby didn’t have the patience for this. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Well,” Taylor started, looking around for a moment, “<em>here</em> is a relative concept, isn’t it. I might seem to be very close, but trust me— I’m actually very far away right now. I had no desire to stick around for the aftermath.”</p><p>“What aftermath?” Hen asked.</p><p>“Oh,” Taylor said, smirking back at her, “didn’t I tell you? How rude of me.” She turned around and started walking around the Diaz’s living room. “When I found out about your stupid little rescue attempt of the fallen son—” She stopped for a moment, her back turned towards them. “Oh yes— did I already mention that I have eyes and ears <em>everywhere</em>? Even among the highest Starfleet ranks?” She giggled. “But that’s not either here nor there. What is important though is how utterly surprised I was that you were actually risking your ship and its entire crew for one single man and his kid. A cute kid I admit, but still— I didn’t know that they had made such an impact during their stay on the 118. But I suppose that is how you all like to portray yourself, isn’t it? One big happy family.” She looked back at them and gagged. “I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I felt sick during one of those mandatory <em>crew gatherings</em> on the holodeck—to <em>boost</em> the moral. Such boring events.”</p><p>Athena huffed in annoyance. “We’re not your counsellors Kelly. Please cut to the point.”</p><p>“Ah yes,” Taylor replied, grinning at them, “do you mean the point where I told Ramon exactly when and where you were going to show up here? So that he could evacuate the building and send a couple of his soldiers to the basement cells where they could lay in ambush to capture you all?”</p><p>Hen cursed. Bobby took a deep breath. “Is Eddie even still alive?”</p><p>Taylor focused her attention on him and pursed her lips. “Hmmm—maybe? Maybe not?” She yawned and quickly covered her mouth. “Oops! Sorry, I always get so tired when I’m bored with a conversation about a topic I couldn’t care less about.”</p><p>Bobby felt his trade-marked calm ebbing away at Taylor’s nonchalant attitude. He knew that he couldn’t let this woman get to him, because then he would be playing right into her hand. Determined to get to the bottom of this he refocused his attention on the information she had given them.</p><p>“So, you’re telling me <em>you</em> don’t know?” He mocked. “I find that hard to believe. The Taylor Kelly that I’ve gotten to know by reading hundreds of case reports is a woman who is always on top of everything. Are you losing your edge here Kelly?”</p><p>She smirked at him knowingly, aware that her ploy to rile him up hadn’t worked. “Honestly Captain, cross my heart, hope to die— I really wouldn’t know. But— well, Ramon Diaz isn’t exactly known for his bleeding heart and compassion towards anyone who works against him, is he now? I doubt he would spare his own son if he posed too great a threat to his master plan to eradicate Starfleet and the Federation,” she told him with a great big smile on her face, “Even though it was a plan that— if I may say so, was deeply <em>deeply</em> flawed and would have failed anyway in the long run.”</p><p>“If you never believed in his plan, why did you help him?” Athena asked.</p><p>Taylor laughed out loud. “Why? For revenge of course,” she answered, “the stupid Federation really thought they could lock me up? Nobody locks up Taylor Kelly— <em>especially</em> not the inadequate idiots of Starfleet Command and their <em>precious</em> Federation.”</p><p>“Why do you hate Starfleet so much?” Hen said.</p><p>Taylor’s eyes turned as cold as ice. “You know of the old saying ‘What goes around comes around’?” She started. “Well, let’s just say that I’m <em>coming around</em> right now. <em>Starfleet</em>—” She spit out the word with disgust, “Starfleet has killed my parents, so now I am going to end <em>them</em>. Simple as that—eye for an eye and all that jazz.”</p><p>“Your parents?” Athena asked.</p><p>Taylor slowly shook her head. “No time to explain my sobby little life-story and the epicness of my rebirth as space pirate now, is there? I have to go. Wide open space awaits.” She looked them all in the eye, one by one. “I would wish you all good luck, but I’d be lying. So instead I wish you all a gruesome death with lots of agony, the likes of which my parents had to go through. In short— I hope you all suffer and die.”</p><p>Bobby was speechless. He had never known anyone to be so consumed with hatred that they couldn’t see beyond that emotion anymore. Taylor had obviously crossed that line ages ago. He could understand now why she and Ramon had worked together. They had found a common goal: destroy the institution they both blamed for the death of their loved ones.</p><p>For a moment Taylor looked him straight in the eye. Her lips quirked up in a saucy smirk. “Captain,” she greeted. Then she was gone. Athena immediately reached for her comm badge. “Chief Grant to Commander Han and Chief Buckley, come in.”</p><p><em>Nothing</em>.</p><p>So she tried again. “Athena to Chimney and Buck! Come in. Listen to me Chim! It’s a trap! Do you hear me? It’s a trap! Do not engage! I repeat: do not engage and get the hell out of there.”</p><p><em>Nothing but static</em>.</p><p>“They’re probably already in the basement. Something there is interfering with our comm badges,” Bobby said.</p><p>The three of them made eye-contact and as if on cue, they started running back towards the main hall to take the stairs up to the first floor, praying they weren’t too late to save the others.</p><p>Bobby refused to lose any more family.</p><p>So he ran a little faster.</p><p>---</p><p>Chimney didn’t like this. He didn’t like it at all.</p><p>“Buck,” he whispered to the man walking next to him. Buck looked back, obviously every bit as concerned as Chimney felt. “I know Chim, I know—” He glanced around the eerily quiet corridor. “Something doesn’t add up. This place is like a tomb, way too quiet. I’d understand if you would want to go back, but you also need to understand that I’m not going anywhere until I’ve found Eddie.”</p><p>Chimney grabbed onto Buck’s arm and halted him, forcing him to look him in the eye. Buck tried to avoid the eye-contact for a moment but eventually conceded. “Buck, there is no way that I’m letting you gallivant around these corridors alone and I’m not ashamed to admit that this is partly because of how Maddie will skin me alive if I let you out of my sight.”</p><p>Buck grinned at him. “She can be really protective of me,” he replied, turning away from him to proceed walking down the corridor. “Tell me about it,” Chim muttered, making his strides a little wider to keep up with Buck’s fast pace.</p><p>The two men walked down the long hallway, trying to open up door after door, finding them all tightly locked. “There are so many doors here, every single one locked. How the hell are we ever going to find out where they’re keeping Eddie? We have no time to open them all up with our phasers.” Buck said with a hint of frustration and despair in his voice.</p><p>Chimney shook his head. “I don’t know. We just need to keep on going and hope for the best, I suppose. I think the best thing we can do is to look out for signs of life. Although—” He stopped talking, looking around at the doors. “Wait a minute, all the doors in this corridor are coated with dust. I mean, look at the door handles. They look like they haven’t been touched in years, so we’ll have to assume that he’s not in there.”</p><p>Buck looked at him for a moment. “That’s actually a clever idea. I didn’t think of that. Why didn’t I think of that?” Buck questioned aloud.</p><p>“Because Buckley, you might think you are the smarter one with your fancy engineering degree, but it doesn’t hold a candle to my street smarts.” Chimney replied, all the while closely observing the door handles he came across. He heard Buck snort a little, way up ahead. He was checking the doors on the other side. “You know Chim, I don’t think that you—” he trailed of. “Oh my God.”</p><p>“What?” Chimney asked, running over to him. “What is it?”</p><p>“Look,” Buck replied. He was staring at one of the door handles, all clean and dust-free. Excitement ran through him. This might be the door they were looking for. “Okay, we need to proceed with caution here Buck,” Chimney warned the other man. He could already see how Buck was gearing up to just waltz in there. “We can’t just walk in there without making sure that it’s safe. For all we know it’s a trap.”</p><p>Buck sighed and looked back at him. “I know that Chim,” he said, “Believe me, I know. But—” He looked at Chimney with pleading eyes. “It’s Eddie, you know?” Chimney put a hand on his shoulder. “I know,” he replied, “If that were Maddie in there, I’d react the exact same way. But then <em>you</em> would be the one to tell me to be careful and we both know that.”</p><p>Buck nodded at him. “You’re right. It won’t do anyone any good if I wind up dead before I find him.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Chimney said, putting his hand on the door handle. “So, let’s proceed with caution and a loaded phaser firmly in our hand, shall we?” Buck smirked at him as he backed up a little from the door, pointing his phaser at the entrance. “Okay, I’ll open the door and you shoot at anything or anyone that could potentially be a threat. Got it?” Chimney ordered.</p><p>“Got it Sir,” Buck complied.</p><p>“Good, then let’s get this show on the road,” he said and opened the door.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie wasn’t sure what woke him up, but his first instinct was to curl himself up into a ball. He was shackled to the wall, shirtless and cold, chains around his wrists. If the guards decided to come inside again and use him for some boxing practice there wasn’t a lot he could do about that and it got harder for him to keep clinging to his sanity every single time they did. But still he kept on fighting, refusing to give up. If there was even a slight chance to get to see Christopher again, then that’s what he would do: hold on until the day they could be reunited.</p><p>The thought of his son made his chest hurt and it only got worse when his mind inevitable turned towards the man that had held his heart. He had missed Buck so much while on Mars—every single moment of every single day and the thought of never seeing him again brought along waves of agony. Thank God for his son. If it hadn’t been for Chris, Eddie would have already given <em>up</em>— given <em>in</em>.</p><p>Suddenly a loud bang reverberated through the room as the door was pushed open with force. Eddie winced and hid his face. His body could take a few more hits, but he didn’t want to take any more hits to the head. He needed to keep a clear mind if he was ever going to get out of here.</p><p>“Eddie?” A sweet voice floated through the air. A voice he would recognise anywhere.</p><p>The voice of a ghost.</p><p>The voice of a dead man.</p><p>An hallucination.</p><p>That was it. He was officially losing his mind.</p><p>---</p><p>For a solid beat, Buck didn’t move an inch, staring at the silent figure lying on the ground, chained up to the wall and unmoving. Dirty hair matted and sweaty.</p><p>He had come too late.</p><p>But then he saw a shudder coursing through the man’s back and realised that maybe he hadn’t. He shot into action.</p><p>“Eddie! Eddie! Christ, what have they done to you?” Buck asked, tears springing to his eyes. As he walked closer he could see the black, blue and green bruises that mottled the exposed skin of Eddie’s back. He gingerly sat down on his knees next to the man and put his hand on his back. “Eddie? Can you hear me?” Eddie startled slightly at the warmth of Buck’s hand. “Hey hey,” he whispered, gently moving his hand up and down Eddie’s back. “It’s okay. It’s only <em>me</em>— Buck.” He ached to embrace him and hold him close to soothe and comfort, but he instinctively knew that wasn’t what Eddie needed right now. He didn’t want to spook him.</p><p>“Impossible,” Eddie finally responded in a brittle voice. Buck sighed in relief. He was conscious. “Why is that?” He gently inquired. “Buck is dead. I killed him,” Eddie replied monotonously. “What? No, you didn’t,” Buck said. What on Earth was he talking about.</p><p>“Yes, I did. He— he is dead because I loved him too much and my dad— he knew, he knew all along and then he blew him up.” Eddie started sobbing and it damn near broke Buck’s heart. Eddie was a man who kept all of his cards close to his chest and for him to expose his emotions like this? They must have really done a number on him. “No— no, I didn’t blow up Eddie. I was saved. Christopher saved me,” Buck said, lightly resting his forehead against the nape of Eddie’s neck. The pungent smell of fear, sweat and puke floated up to him, but he didn’t care. He embraced it all, because Eddie was <em>alive</em>.</p><p>“Please believe me Eddie, please— I’m alive and I’m here to get you out of this hellhole, even if I have to carry you on my back. I did it once before and I swear I’ll do it again Eddie. Because for the record? I love you too and now that I have you back, I’m not ever letting you go again. You better believe that.”</p><p>When he didn’t get any reaction from Eddie, Buck gently reached around and shifted him so he could look him in the eye. Looking at Eddie’s face made him want to cry. Just like his back, he was battered and bruised, one eye completely shut while the other was barely open. Buck focused on the good eye and made sure to be in Eddie’s line of sight. He lightly caressed Eddie’s face. “God, what have they done to you? What have they done to you?”</p><p>Somewhere behind him Chimney gasped. “He did this to his own son? What kind of an animal does this to his own son?” He sat down next to him and pulled out his tricorder. “Oh man, this is messed up,” he said while scanning all over his body.</p><p>When Buck looked back from Chimney to Eddie he finally noticed Eddie staring straight at him. He looked as if he had seen a ghost— for all Buck knew, maybe he had. In Eddie’s mind he had been dead for days, so him being alive must come as quite a shock. Eddie gingerly lifted up a hand, chain rattling as he moved his arm. It came to rest very lightly against Buck’s cheek. “You’re real,” he finally said as Buck covered his hand with his own. “Yeah—” Buck whispered, “I am.”</p><p>Eddie stared at him. “I thought I’d lost you,” he said, “I thought I’d killed you.” Buck shook his head, smiling softly at him. “You did neither Diaz. It takes a lot more than a stupid bomb in my brain to get rid of me. I’m here to drag your butt out of this place and take you home with us. We just need to pick up Christopher and we’re good to go.”</p><p>The sound of his son’s name seemed to shake Eddie out of his stupor. “Oh God, Christopher.” He reached out with his other hand and clutched Buck’s shirt. “My parents have him Buck. My fath—Ramon, he knew it was Chris who reached out to the 118 to warn you. He said he was going to teach him a lesson—I—Buck, what if he hurt him?” Eddie was quickly working himself into a panic. Buck cupped his face. “Eddie, I have seen Christopher. He is safe with your abuela, aunt and sisters. In fact, they were the ones who reached out to us. Adriana helped us get into your father’s mansion.”</p><p>“He is safe?” Eddie asked, already calming down having heard the news. “Absolutely. Adriana looked like she was ready to fight off your father with her bare hands, so I think they’re okay.</p><p>Eddie chuckled at that. “Yeah, she’s always been fierce and protective like that.”</p><p>“I guess it runs in the family then,” Buck replied. He couldn’t help himself and ducked down to gently press a kiss to Eddie’s bruised and bloody lips. Eddie recoiled. “Don’t,” he said, “I am filthy.” Buck just smiled at him and kissed him again. “I don’t care. To me you look absolutely <em>stunning</em>.” Eddie smiled.</p><p>The moment was broken when Chimney cleared his throat loudly. “Uhm— I hate to break up this romantic moment, but— we really have to get Eddie out of these chains and go.” Buck and Eddie nodded simultaneously. “Is he okay to go?” Buck asked. “I did some basic scans. He has a lot of bruises and some cracked ribs, but overall, it could have been worse,” Chimney replied.</p><p>“Worse?” Eddie said, looking at Chim. “This kinda feels like ‘<em>worst</em>’ to be honest.” With Buck’s help he sat up slowly. “Yeah, I bet,” Chimney said. “Glad to see you alive Eddie. You had us really worried there for a hot minute.” He nodded at Eddie to acknowledge him. Eddie briefly smiled and nodded back. “Good to see you too Sir.”</p><p>“All right, I’m going to use the phaser to get rid of these chains. So keep very still Eddie.” A minute later Eddie’s arms were free again and he gingerly rubbed his bloody wrists. “Finally,” he muttered. “Okay, can you walk?” Chimney asked. “Because I know Buckaroo here offered to carry you on his back, but I really feel like we’ll get out of here much faster if you can actually use your feet.</p><p>Eddie moved his feet and legs. “Yeah, I think I’m good. It’ll just take a moment to get rid of the pins and needles and then I’ll be good to go.” Buck helped him up and slid his arm around his back to support him. It felt almost surreal to have Eddie back in his arms again. Only a week ago he was dreaming of doing just that, granted— in very different circumstances. This was never what he wished for.</p><p>“Okay, I’m good to go,” Eddie finally acknowledged, taking a couple of careful steps to test out his balance. He looked very eager to get out of there. “Let’s get out of here.”</p><p>Chimney lead the way as Buck followed with Eddie next to him using him as a crutch. As soon as they had stepped outside of the cell, they heard heavy footsteps running in their direction. Buck reached for his phaser and positioned himself in front of Eddie. Chimney took up a stance next to him. They were ready.</p><p>---</p><p>Eddie was leaning heavily against the wall behind him, frustrated that he couldn’t do more to help his friends out. But with every movement he made something in his body shifted the wrong way and brought along a wave of agony. He was in no shape to fight and he knew it. He would only be a liability for both Buck and Chimney if he tried to get involved right now. So he just stood there and waited.</p><p>He counted the footsteps of at least three people. As they rounded the corner Buck and Chimney let out a collective sigh. Eddie was confused. Why were they lowering their phasers? And then—</p><p>“Captain,” Buck said. Chimney shifted and suddenly Eddie had a better visual on the three new arrivals. He immediately started smiling as Hen broke out into a run straight towards him. “Eddie,” she said as she gingerly grabbed his shoulders, “I’m so happy to see you.” In spite of his injuries Eddie carefully put his arms around her to hug her close for a moment. “So am I Hen, so am I.” Hen slowly pulled back and her critical doctor’s eye took stock of his many injuries. “You look like hell Diaz,” she said, reaching for her tricorder to scan him. Chimney put his hand on her arm. “I already did a general scan. It’s mostly severe bruising and a couple of cracked ribs, but overall— well, it could have been worse.”</p><p>Hen nodded. “Okay, but we still need to get you back to the ship to do a more thorough scan,” she said. “It might only be superficial wounds, but I’d still like to take a closer look at that head of yours.” She softly took hold of his chin and studied his bruised and bloodied face. “Nobody takes that many hits to the head and gets away completely unscathed. I want to make sure there’s nothing bleeding up there.”</p><p>“I fully agree,” the Captain chimed in. “It isn’t safe here anyway.” He addressed Eddie. “They knew we were coming. We bumped into Taylor Kelly and—”</p><p>“Wowow, you did what?” Buck interrupted, shifting the Captain’s attention to him. “Taylor Kelly is here? What happened? Did you let her go?”</p><p>The Captain reached out to Buck and put his hand on his arm. “Buck, there is no time to get into the details. I’ll fully explain later when we’re safe on board the 118. But rest assured that ‘<em>physically</em>’ she is nowhere near Mars anymore. So right now she isn’t an immediate concern. Ramon Diaz however is still out here somewhere and I’d rather not run in to him. So let’s focus on getting out of here. Okay Chief?” Buck nodded, quietly taking the order. The Captain looked back at Eddie. “Is there a fast and safe way out of here? Do you know?” Eddie shook his head. “I don’t Captain. Before my captivity I had never even been down <em>here</em>. My-- Ramon had never allowed it.”</p><p>The Captain nodded. “Okay, then I guess the only way out is how we came in. Let’s go,” he ordered. He started walking back down the hall, the crew following him. Buck gently put Eddie’s arm over his shoulders to help him walk. They had only taken a few steps when they were stopped again by a voice calling out from behind them.</p><p>“I wouldn’t do that if I were you Captain. Not if you want to live!”</p><p>Eddie closed his eyes. He would know that voice anywhere. “Father,” he whispered. He watched Buck’s eyes widen as they slowly turned around to face the man who was pointing an old-fashioned Martian gun at them, his father’s preferred weapon. And he wasn’t alone. Next to him stood a dozen of heavily armed Martian soldiers. Eddie recognised some of them as the guards who had beaten him. He clenched his fists in anger.</p><p>Bobby stepped up until he was in front of their little group. “Ramon Diaz I presume,” he stated.</p><p>“Ah, Captain Nash, I see that my reputation precedes me,” Ramon replied with a predatory smile.</p><p>“Well,” the Captain returned, “a little hard to not recognise the guy who locked up and attempted to kill his own son now, is it.” His lips quirked up in a pleased little smile. Eddie was amazed by the Captain’s attitude. He had seen many a leader cower when confronted with his ruthless father, but not Bobby Nash. The man held his ground as he refused to be intimidated. In a strange way his father almost seemed impressed by the Captain’s attitude. “Well,” Ramon started, his eyes flicking briefly into Eddie’s direction, “It is not <em>every</em> day that one is betrayed by his only son and heir now, is it?”</p><p>Eddie flinched, but the Captain just kept on smiling. “I wouldn’t know,” he said. “My children love me too much to ever <em>want</em> to betray me,” he replied. Ramon’s face fell. The Captain had clearly struck a nerve. Eddie knew that he was playing with fire.</p><p>“Father,” Eddie started in an attempt to placate Ramon, “just let us go.” His father’s laser sharp focus shifted from the Captain to Eddie and this time his gaze didn’t waver. Eddie carefully let go of Buck’s shoulder and slowly shuffled in between Buck and his father. He wanted to face him head on.</p><p>Finally Ramon answered. “Yes, I’m sure that’s what you would like isn’t it?” He sneered. “So you can go gallivanting off with your golden Starfleet-boy, back to the cesspool of the Federation. Something you have been working towards from the very beginning you came back to us. You just kept talking <em>and talking</em> all that nonsense about becoming a doctor,” he added mockingly. “As if you would ever be smart enough to actually become one. You’re a <em>grunt</em> Edmundo, a mere soldier. Not to mention a <em>deserter</em> and a <em>shame</em> on the Diaz-name.”</p><p>Eddie grimaced at hearing those toxic words coming from his father’s mouth. He had already experienced his father’s deep hatred for him when he had him repeatedly beaten up, but somehow those words still managed to cut deeper than those beatings ever could. No matter how much Eddie tried to separate the father he had looked up to while growing up from the almost cartoonish villainous version of Ramon Diaz he had become, the fact that this was still the same man was hard to come to terms with.</p><p>He suddenly felt like a little boy all over again. A boy that had been punished over and over again for not being good enough—</p><p>Not being fast enough—</p><p>Not being smart enough—</p><p>He felt powerless.</p><p>---</p><p>Buck was really worried about Eddie. The man standing in front of him seemed miles away, lost in another world. Ramon’s words had clearly struck a nerve. Buck sympathised. He knew all too well what if felt like when your own father treated you like dirt. Ramon had been so wrong though. <em>Eddie</em>— Eddie was so much more than a grunt. To Buck he was <em>light</em> and <em>life</em> and—<em>love</em>. To Buck Eddie was <em>everything</em>. He gently rested his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, desperately trying to convey his message through touch. Miraculously it seemed to work. Eddie seemed to become aware of his surroundings again. He brought up his own hand and grabbed Buck’s fingers, still resting on his shoulder— drawing strength from their connection.</p><p>A garbled sound made its way out of Ramon’s mouth. Buck looked back at him and he was met with a look of pure disgust. Ramon’s eyes slid from Buck’s face to their joined hands, still on Eddie’s shoulder and then to Eddie’s face. Buck looked on in horror as he pointed his weapon straight at Eddie. “Time to end this fairy tale. No happy endings for Starfleet-scum,” Ramon sneered. Buck felt Eddie take a deep breath and he suddenly had a vivid image of what Eddie was doing. He was preparing himself to die and— <em>no</em>! Buck raised his hand and—</p><p>Suddenly the sound of a single gunshot rang through the corridor. Everyone ducked. Buck frantically started patting Eddie down, trying to find the wound when—</p><p>A hand clamped over his own, one half-open brown eye met his, clear and alive. Eddie was alive, but who—</p><p>“Enough Ramon!” A clear voice called out. Eddie gasped, his good eye opened widely in disbelief as he stared over Buck’s shoulder into the direction the voice originated from.</p><p>Buck slowly turned. A woman with shoulder-length brown hair and a determined glint in her eyes was pointing a gun straight at Ramon’s chest. “Enough,” she repeated. She looked tired— worn out.</p><p>“Mom,” Eddie said, a second before Ramon spoke up “Helena? Why?” Buck’s mouth fell open. This was Eddie’s mother? But hadn’t she always supported her husband? What was going on here?</p><p>Helena took her eyes of Ramon to look at Eddie, intense <em>love</em> and crippling <em>guilt</em> written all over her face. “Eddie— look at you,” she started, taking in his wounds. “What has he done to you? I’m so incredibly sorry my son. This is never what I wanted. You have to believe me,” she pleaded. “I am your mother and all I’ve ever wanted for you was <em>happiness</em>. You’re my son and I love you, but your father can be very <em>convincing</em> and— somehow he had me fooled that this was the only way,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks. “But you have to believe me— I made him promise that he wouldn’t hurt you. I did—I—” Her eyes hardened as she looked back at Ramon. “What did you do to him? You promised Ramon! You looked me in the eye and promised me he wouldn’t be harmed. But look at him Ramon.” She gestured towards Eddie. “Look at him! This is our son. Look at what you did to our son!”</p><p>Ramon looked back at her, for the first time his emotions broke through the calm facade. “He stopped being our son when he chose Starfleet Helena. Now he is just another Starfleet <em>murderer</em>, like the rest of them.” He started crying. “Murderers Helena! You know that! You saw— you saw what they did to Raymundo—they killed him Helena! Starfleet killed him!”</p><p>Helena sighed and looked at Ramon with pity in her eyes. She slowly shook her head. “No Ramon, they didn’t. The man that killed little Ray hadn’t been a part of Starfleet for ages. He had nothing to do with them anymore. I’ve faithfully been following in your footsteps for years now, always keeping quiet, walking in pace, trusting you to make the right decisions. I can’t do that anymore Ramon. Not when it’s hurting our son and grandson like this. Not when it’s hurting our entire family.”</p><p>Ramon raised his free hand toward his wife. “Helena, you and I, we are a team— we can still do this, if you just give me the gun. We’ll forget this ever happened.”</p><p>Helena seemed to falter for a second and Ramon took a step closer to her. “Will you let these people go? Let our son and grandson go with them?” She asked, looking around at everyone there. Ramon took another step.</p><p>“Of course, my love. Of course. Whatever you want. You know I love you. Starfleet may have finally gotten to you, but we can still rectify that. We’ll forget all of this, my love.” Another step closer.</p><p>Buck felt Eddie brace himself, ready to attack and defend his mother even if he could barely stand up by himself. He understood <em>why</em> though. Everyone there was acutely aware that Ramon wouldn’t just miraculously change his mind because his wife asked him to. There was still a touch of lunacy in his eyes. This was a man who was determined to get rid of everyone in his path who wanted to stop him from reaching his end goal: completely obliterate Starfleet and the Federation. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill his wife when push came to shove.</p><p>Eddie spoke up. “Mom, watch out. Don’t trust him. I don’t think he—” Suddenly Ramon turned to him. “Shut up! I never want to hear your voice again!” He aimed his gun at his son and—</p><p>Again the sound of a gunshot echoed in the corridor. Ramon Diaz stared at Eddie for a minute, before looking back at Helena. “Helena?” he asked, before slowly sinking down to the floor, holding his stomach as blood poured out from between his fingers.</p><p>“I’m sorry Ramon,” Helena said, tears falling down her cheeks. Then she shot again, this time aiming at his heart. Ramon fell down to the ground, silenced for good.</p><p>Helena let out a high-pitched scream as she sank down to the ground. Bobby sprang into action and quickly took Helena’s gun away while Hen immediately attended to Ramon’s wounds. Meanwhile, Athena addressed the soldiers. “Put down the phasers boys. Your leader is dead. Time to reign in a new era.” Knowing there would be no way out of this before Starfleet’s back-up arrived, they reluctantly complied and put their weapons down. Chimney quickly gathered their weapons while Athena led the soldiers into the abandoned holding cell, using her phaser to melt the lock. They’d come back for them later.</p><p>Buck watched all this unfold before turning back to Eddie.</p><p>The man was staring at his father’s body, biting his lip, trying to hold everything in. Buck knew how much Eddie hated to show his emotions to the outside world, especially with so many people around to witness his breakdown, so he quickly pulled him into an embrace, holding him as close as he could without hurting him. Eddie clung to him, his face buried into Buck’s chest. And if Buck’s shirt got a little wet, no one needed to know that.</p><p>---</p><p>Hen pronounced Ramon dead 2 minutes later. She had assessed the wounds to see if he could be saved, but it was of no use. The last bullet had completely obliterated his heart. It was over. She gently closed the man’s eyes.</p><p>As she sat back on the ground, she turned a little to look at Eddie. She realised that the last years of Ramon Diaz’s life had been coloured by his unsettling behaviour, all culminating in the insanity they had all witnessed here today, but in the end— Ramon was still Eddie’s father. A father he grew up with and idolised at some point in time. Not just that, to see him get killed in front of your very eyes by your own mother— that had to have hurt.</p><p>Eddie seemed to be fused together with Buck, the latter holding him in a vice-like grip, but still soft as to not hurt him, unwilling to let go. Eddie clutched Buck’s sides and by the way his shirt folded inwards, Hen knew Buck would be sporting some mighty fine finger-shaped bruises there tonight. But none of that seemed to matter as the two men clung to each other, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist.</p><p>“You okay?” Chimney asked, sitting down next to her. “Yeah, I’m good.” She nodded. “It’s just—so much pain and heartbreak Chim and for what?” Chimney looked at her, shaking his head. “I don’t know Hen, but if I had the answer, you’d be the first one to know.” Hen smiled at that. “Listen— I need your authorisation to transport the body to sickbay. I’d like to do a full autopsy exam on him. Eddie’s sisters and his abuela all indicated that Ramon had changed drastically over the last couple of years. I just want to rule out anything physical that might have been going on with him.”</p><p>“Good idea,” Bobby interrupted from where he’d been listening in on the end of their conversation. “Yes,” Athena added, “while you do that, I’ll take Mrs Diaz into custody and transport her to the brig.” She looked at Bobby and briefly brushed her hand over his chest. “If you need me Captain, that’s where I’ll be.” Then she turned and led a defeated Helena Diaz back through the corridor towards the exit.</p><p>“Dad!”</p><p>Hen looked up from Ramon’s body. As in unison both Buck and Eddie stood up and Buck helped Eddie as they slowly made their way over to Christopher. Adriana, Sophia and his aunt and abuela were there as well. All of them were crying, Adriana and Sophia running over to their mother’s side before Athena took her away. The grandmother though. Hen especially noticed Isabel’s eyes—bloodshot and broken, focused on Ramon’s body. She sighed. A mother’s eyes. No matter what Ramon had done, in the end this was still the woman who gave life to him, who raised him, who loved him. Hen shuddered as she thought of Denny and Nia and the love she held for them. Losing them would be like the worst kind of torture. She was glad she wasn’t in Isabel’s shoes.</p><p>“Christopher!” Eddie yelled, drawing Hen’s attention.</p><p>As soon as Eddie reached his son, Chris threw himself into his arms. Hen hissed as she watched Eddie’s face contort for a second. That must have hurt his ribs something awful.</p><p>“Oh mijo,” Eddie started, “I missed you so much.” Despite the pain he clutched his son a little tighter. “I thought you were dead dad. I thought I would never see you again,” Christopher cried. “Oh baby no, I would never leave you,” Eddie replied, running his fingers through the boy’s curls. “You know that. You and me, we’re a team, remember? I didn’t survive that foreign moon for so many years only to die in a basement. There was no way I’d leave you all alone.” Christopher sniffed and clung a little harder to his father, simultaneously looking at Buck who had crouched down next to them. He held out his little hand to him, which Buck caught and kissed, clutching it close to him.</p><p>“Buck, can we go back with you to the 118?” Chris asked with a small voice. Buck smiled at him, tears running down his cheeks. “Sure thing kiddo, if you think I’m ever going to let either of the Diaz’s out of my sight again—you’re wrong.” At that Eddie untucked his head from his son’s shoulder and looked at Buck. He reached out slowly and covered both their hands while smiling up at him. “My son has the best ideas,” he added.</p><p>Hen grinned and looked away to give them some privacy. Chimney however didn’t seem to have a problem with that as he kept on staring at them. Hen elbowed him in the side. “Hey! What?” He asked, finally focussing his eyes somewhere else. “Stop staring, you’re being rude,” Hen supplied. Chimney looked contrite. I know. It’s just— that has to be the most sickeningly sweet scene I’ve ever witnessed. Maddie is going to <em>eat this up</em>.”</p><p>At that Hen burst out in loud laughter. Finally. Everything was <em>finally</em> falling into place and she was <em>here</em> for it. She couldn’t wait to get back home to tell Karen all about it and give her kids a great big hug.</p><p>Finally.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to subscribe to stay on top of the updates. :)</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter. I absolutely loved writing it. If you enjoyed it, please leave a kudo or a comment. I'm very curious about your reactions on this chapter.</p><p>Feel free to visit me on my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lemotmo">Tumblr</a> to chat about this fic or anything else.</p>
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